Ampers&'s Alpha Male Journal [COMPLETE]

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 7

Can't believe it's only been 7 days into this stage; I feel so manly. At work this evening, I was lugging old cabinets and shelves around (since our retail store is renovating), I had the body language of an actor.

Let's rewind; I get up early - 5:30am as always - slept well. I go to a "Lab" (it's just called a lab, more of a diagnosis of a fictional patient), and we finish imcomplete. The prof suggested that we group up off hours. Oh hey, this girl that I sort of know is sitting pretty close to me. I suggest we finish it up right away, and she agrees. We chat for an hour and finish our work, we get off topic a bit. There's a moment where we have rapport, and we gaze into each others' eyes for a good 5-6 seconds; she looks away first. I think she likes me.. I dig her.

But, she's in my program, could be messy. I have to manage it properly.

A change in my mindset; I don't see the option of NOT doing the thing that I should do. I COULD eat a large pizza and disturb my diet, but I hadn't ever thought of that in the last 4 days of doing this.

Like mentioned before, I'm considering busking. Mix that with my practice ritual, and I'm golden. I planned out the minutes for each of the 4 hours. I will create some folders and subfolders similar to the morning ritual I've planned out.

I had a couple of breakthroughs today; I know that whatever things I buy for myself is okay. I can buy more expensive food, and going for cheaper food won't feed the hungry. You know what will feed the hungry? Feeding the hungry.

Another breakthrough; the aura of unapproachability that I've noticed for certain women is:

i) Perhaps a subconscious way to reduce the number of wussy men that approach
ii) Bursted almost immediately when you approach her and be direct (it shows your intention and your congruence
iii) likely formed by too many boys being incongruent with themselves.

Go up to her and "be yourself" in the sense of congruence. Do strive to improve yourself at all times, so that your Self is more charismatic and attractive.

Regardless, women are looking at me much more, and some are smiling at me. Or, they turn at me and talk to each other. I suspect it's about me hehe.

I go to work, and some crazy shit happens:
i) I see the women with whom I first had sex at my job. I call her out, she says "you look so different". I say "no shit, it's been three years". We chat, yadda yadda. We left it at "we stay in touch".
ii) I see a language female friend which I would see at my language meetups. We chat a bit

I used the "Living the Law of Attraction" paraliminal twice. I dunno what this means, but people are coming to me. Very exciting.

[Fonzy3]

After coming home from the intense workout, I had an epic omelette with Canadian bacon; high fat and high protein has a cost; it's very hard to pack on all the calories that I need. I'm trying to hit 2,300.

What's wrong with eating some pizza then?

Thanks

Fonzy

[Ampersnd]

@Fonzy

Pizza has carbs. For the first four weeks of this diet, I have to stick to a low-carb diet. On each Sunday following week 5, I have the ability to have cheat days, so I can eat pizza, beer, ice cream, wings, Coca-Cola, and a bunch of Chinese food! Hurray. I'm still roughly 4 weeks away.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 8

I had a pretty great first half of the day, but the second day, I had experienced the negative side effects of less sleep. Got up at 5:50

Did my morning ritual, got to class, taking notes and whatnot. It's a class exclusively on research; I,m terrible at research, so I have to figure it out. This is the best opportunity to become very competent at it.

I go up and talk to some classmates which I've only seen but 3 months ago (keep in mind that all but 1 of my classmates are women). The cute one, which stays pretty quiet, was eyeing me. I kept a stare when she stared at me. I even caught her looking; she looks away when I turned away from her friend. She might just want me, but does she have a boyfriend? I should figure out a slick new way to figure out if a girl is single.

I'm probably going to invite the other girl, mentioned yesterday, out for coffee, or something casual. Dating classmates is something that I've never done, and must be done carefully. Dating a classmate is like a 5G subliminal; you can only date one at a time. Our group is super tight knit and small (under 60 people).

I go to the gym; the guys are respecting my space, moving, and asking permisson. Wasn't trying to be threatening or anything.

I go to home, eat my big lunch, shower, and then stuff my face on another heavy meal before I head to work at 3.

Work became a "let's feel all the negative spectrum of emotions. I felt grief, I felt anxious and uneasy, and I felt worked up, and then I felt extreme needy, specifically about the first girl. My brain is probably processing all this emotional readjustment.

I'm still not used to being looked at "like that" by women. But I'm pretty excited about the coming weeks.

My 'fear of success" thing has kicked on; I'm thinking "what if I DO get into a relationship with this girl? I'm trapped!!" lol. Or it might be that I'm going against some of the Brent Smith stuff, or the PUA stuff. Well, it's my hot body, I do what I want.

[RainbowAbyss]

I'm a little late on the subject but
both "FLOW" and "Positive Addiction" are great books
for finding a way to stick to what one wants to master,
where progress is ensured and enjoyment is always had.

[Ampersnd]

@RainbowAbyss

I've read Flow about three years ago, which I should re-read for context. I should look into Positive Addiction.

============
More on stage 3
============

I approached a woman directly at the gym today. Though she was cute, I didn't really feel anything. Neither fear, or sexual polarity, nor anxiety or happiness. I was very neutral. The conversation halted and stopped right away. Even after kickstarting it back up, it fizzled out. Was not really that interested anymore. Wish I couldn't brightened her up a bit.

At the end of my workout, I go up to her again and tell her it was good to meet her and that I may see her again haphazardly.

I felt pretty good about that.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 9

General sequence, early morning, morning class, gym, home, eat, go to friends, go to movie with friends, go home, do school stuff, type on this forum

Some general things that happened:

I was chatting and vibing with one of the more attractive girls in my class. I wouldn't really try anything unless she was showing some more interest.

At the gym, this guy wants to work in, and it seemed like he almost became my personal servant. Changing weights and asking excessive permisson. He calmed it down after I treated him more normally. Also, people just get the fuck out of my way when I'm at the gym. I have a plan each time I'm at the gym, so this is different from my previous approach of doing whatever was open, so that energy is different.

I approached today; MENTIONED ABOVE

I felt like one foot in the door of manhood; it's been that way for a while. But I'm experiencing emotions. Especially a lot on the persuing and not-persuing thing; I now get triggered everytime I see a post on Attract Hotter Women about not persuing. I've tried not persuing; guess what? It didn't do anything. It really comes down to the point of focus, what energy you're representing, and what you're representing, so I wouldn't discard that method just yet.

I truly think that it's to do with the meaning of the word from the person. I took it as somebody who's always messaging a woman, always checking on a woman, always asking a woman out.

I now no problem with the idea of approaching, being direct about my intentions, making physical contact (light touching on arm or shoulder), and making a gradual progress towards sex, a relationship, intimacy, etc.

Part of my resistance is the mindset of the AHW members. They have a different world view than me, and I accept that, but they're straight up telling people how to live their lives out of absolute authority.

This resistance will be released sooner or later, and I will figure it all out.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 10

Got up, cooked my own meals for the day (eggs and steak: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTNhCzmUjlw), went to work, worked the whole day, got home, did some schoolwork, and THEN the fun began.

Turns out that my friend from back home is in my town. I walk to his sister's place, and him and his buddy are there. Notice that I'm not drinking or eating outside of my window, so they thought it was a little strange.

My female friend drops by (the same one from yesterday); she thinks that he's handsome, btw. But we play some beer pong, drop the two buddies from town off at his sister's predrink location (closer to the bar), and head to our planned party.

I chit chat and be social, and I see this very pretty filipino woman; she's very giggly and touchy. The energy that I felt around her was amazing. So much sexual energy between us. Honestly, I had a semi-boner with her, and she's literally the third woman EVER to give me an erection in her mere presence. I know and remember each of these women.

So I get her on the couch of this place, and ask into her ear: "Are you single?", she says "No", and apologizes a lot about the fact that she has a boyfriend. She keeps being touchy and giggly, but she tells me that she's much shyer when she's drunk. But she keeps getting more and more touchy.

Unfortunately, she keeps drinking, I chat with other people, and her friend is stopping her from drinking more, where she does not agree (hehe). She wants to keep drinking.

The friend is cute, and I chat to her in the meantime. But I didn't really connect with her that well; she is friendly and much more grounded and earthly, and had a nice smile. If I'd have to choose, it would be a much less drunk version of the asian girl.

My two friends show up to this party. The one is telling me "get her number, by the way she's acting, her relationship is gonna crash anytime soon. And she really wants you."

She let's me use her phone, and I call myself through her phone (she's there the whole time). Then we talk last names and add each other.

The guy is also telling me the whole process on how to approach this situation, which will allow her to look to me after their relationship stops.

I'm not one to meddle, but I'm curious what she will say when I text her sober self in the near future.

[stratos]

My guess -after 6 weeks she'll be all ready for you.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 12

I've made a whole lot of progress, but I'm not yet "all in". I still keep my voice down in certain situations, and I occasionally have bad thought loops. But I'm improving; there's no doubt about that.

I realized that girl at the party is one of thousands that will act this way.

Today, on this, the Monday, I'm getting the "look"; some of the women with whom I speak do this. Similar to this video at 0:40 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnQ7l7UhQTM), it breaks out for one second.

I'm practicing the idea of holding eye contact as long as possible, and light keno. And that seems to be working well.

At the gym, I chatted with a Lebanese woman; she gave me the 'anime eyes' when I'd come back to approach, and she'd yank out her eyephones. I wasn't terribly interested, but I gave her my Facebook.

I notice my gym "Friend" (first girl I approached at the gym in 2014), and talk to her a bit. I respect the hell out of her; she lifts weights instead of those stupid machines, she's on the uni swimming team, she's into the low-carb thing, and by those facts, I take it that she's very disciplined. R.E.S.P.E.C.T

I did a first practice run of my guitar practice ritual; it works, bitches. Now, I have to do the same for the next 3 hours.

I have an idea on how I want to run the complementary subs:
- Remainder of Stage 3: Deep Restful Sleep 3G
- Stage 4: Maximum Learning Speed 4G
- Stage 5: Maximum Learning Speed 4G
- Stage 6: Seek the Challenge 4G

Perhaps continue Seek the Challenge after Stage 6 is finished. Then I'll focus on musician subs (if there are any more, Shannon *hint*) and attracting money (possibly 'Maximum Sales Success').
I had the idea of busking again, which ties nicely with the idea of constant practice, then attracting money from my efforts.

Looking forward to the rest

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 13

Got up, morning ritual, gym, lunch all before 10:30am. I met with a friend to study; but she was late compared to the time she initially said she'd be at the library (10am), and also at the time that she claimed she would pass by my place (11:45). We arrive at the actual building at 12:10, AND THEN she wants to get coffee. She had class at 1, I had the entire day off. I was not very impressed. I'm starting to get ansy at people who don't respect my time.

I've decided to call that time you waste in waiting for someone "anticipitory limbo", because you're calibrating your actions based on what you expect another person to do.

After that, I mostly got caught up on my school-work, and finished designing my 2nd hour for my music practice.

My productivity started to shoot down around 2-4pm. I decided to run "Hypersleep" Power Nap around 4:15. I did fall asleep, but I slept past the time until 5:05. I wonder if that's intentional. But I did feel groggy and a bit cranky.

At the gym, I met a woman on the treadmill, and chatted her up rather directly. She was very receptive to it; honestly, I got a semi-erection and had to hide it, I don't know if she saw that.
I was about to get kicked off the treadmill, since someone had actually signed up for the treadmill I was using, so I basically went for Facebook information. While she wrote it, and I pulled a David DeAngelo "go ahead and write your phone number down as well". Smooth.. she goes for it.

That was surprisingly easy. I don't know how interested she is. Especially now that I'm getting numbers, I have to know what to do with it. I feel like a dog chasing cars (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSkWrpH3H3Q).

The weird thing is that I don't really care that I got the number; I practically forgot all about it through most of the day.

I feel like I'm wasting a lot of time, in the form of a lot of YouTube watching. My will-power is dedicated on these new habits. So I'll have more on tap by February for sure

[Ampersnd]

New VDO: [http://youtu.be/tNvk5_VmL1g]

You can tell that I'm tired in this video, but there is a difference. Tom Cruise energy, baby!
Today, I mostly played the Alpha Male subliminal.
Tonight, I'll play the Alpha Male & Deep Sleep mix

So, about the video...

What are your thoughts on persuing or being persued? Please provide definitions for keywords such as "persuing", "chasing", "being the prize", etc.
I'm on a psychological fence at the moment.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 14

Geezus; today must be "Dan must feel terrible today" day. It's not that terrible; I got the ball rolling on positive emotions in the morning at 5:30; I had a really good morning, and that changed at 8:30 today. That was a lab full of women. For no reason, I was choked up. I EFT tapped in my mind when it welled up.

As a side note, that same happened at work in the evening. This must be the subliminal kicking on, since I had it playing 12-14 hours straight yesterday. I'm also going to keep the proportion of 80:30 for AM and Deep Sleep. No more trying to do more of one or the other; too much effort.

ANYWAYS; I'm in the lab with the two women of interest. Once it's over, I invite the one next to me along for tea/coffee (the other one rushed out). We chatted for about an hour, and really got deep on different topics; she's even going to bring me a book soon.

Go home, and I do my readings and do my electric guitar practice hour. It's been 2 days in a row that I've done it. I'll probably set it in stone for a third day, and then do another 3 days for acoustic guitar. Rinse and repeat for a vocal schedule, and performance schedule (Total of 12 days), then I'll start mixing them.

My electric guitar playing has improved in only a day. I still would like an Ultimate Guitarist and Ultimate Vocalist 5G hehe

I'm glad that I'm feeling these negative emotions, seeing as I know that:
i) Ultrasonic is working on my earphones
ii) I'm resisting the message; meaning my removal of this resistance will create what I want.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 15

Yeah, this stage is doing something. I have to keep playing this stuff.

I'm so much on a teeter-totter; my values and beliefs are in suspension. I'm not exactly taking any significant action at the moment.

I'm still solidifying the habit of getting up early (Felt pretty good), doing my ritual, hitting class, hitting the gym, and then fitting in class and my electric guitar practice.

I'm noticing this after-gym haze where I lose one to two hours of productivity. I call it the "after-gym haze". This is probably due to my very low-carb diet at this moment (I'm trying for under 30g per day). Come Monday, I'll be able to raise my carb intake to 50-60g, and then 75g on the next Monday, then the next Monday, it's a whole new diet of . So that will be handled soon.

I went to the library for two hours, and I went home and studied another one to two hours at home. Then I did my guitar stuff, and then some extra acoustic practice on the side.

There's a very good video out there on masculine energy, and I'm realizing that I'm way too in my head. That awareness is a thousand times better than not knowing that (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYIeD-Fr9do).

Also, I'm working on keeping my positive feelings going as long as possible. Yesterday, I dropped the momentum at 11am. Today, I kept it until 3pm. After I drop the ball, it's hard to keep it going or bring it back up. I'm doing this for the Law of Attraction's sake.

Which, by the way, the LOA is working in my favor like crazy. I'm noticing this at the gym. When I'm about to leave the locker room, I look at my workout and say to myself "I demand that all the resources are available to me at the time that I need them". Walking in, I'm thinking "all the barbells are in use, I dunno if this will work". Do my first exercise, second exercise needs a barbell for my circuits. I put the weights away, turn around, and LOW AND BELOW.. Empty, no weights, on the ground, right where I could use it.

I use it for the 5 circuits that I need. At the very end of my last barbell exercise, someone approaches me to see if he can work in. I say "I'm done, it's yours.". He takes care of the barbell, and I finish my circuit heheh.

LOA is working, but I need to focus it properly.