Ampers&d: The Year of the Alpha (Male 6.0)

[guilotine]

I just thought I'd point out that Mia Khalifa is married to a man outside the industry. She was married prior to entering the adult industry.

[Ampersnd]

@Guilotine: Didn't know that. Like I mentioned much earlier, I don't really watch any of that stuff, nor do I keep tabs on the actors. I do know some other names.

One I used to watch a lot in the past was 'Diamond Foxx'. Once, my mom and sister were watching 'Say Yes to the Dress', some reality TV show, and Diamond was on the show, shopping and trying on some wedding dress. I pretended that she was just some random woman, and so did the TV network..

Doesn't take an alpha to marry a porn star; the guy that was 'putting a ring on it' was, even in my younger days, a very obvious beta with some money.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 1, Day 18,

Gym was good, pMemory was a fun one too.

I'm starting to develop a very small tolerance for people who've, through habit, ignorance and enough time, allow themselves to get into a very tricky situation, and then whine like little babies about it.

Today, our class did a case study with a fictional 60 year old man whose been drinking compulsively for 25 years. He's now in a coma and in critical condition. I'm training to be a health care professional, so my job is to help get him back to "normal". Why tie up resources (my time and taxpayer money) to help someone who very clearly doesn't care enough to help themselves?

And even after that scare (I know this is fictional), this guy will probably start drinking again, and get himself in a whole new mess. Why bother? It's kind of pathetic, very happy to go the 'feel good now' route, and then crying like a little bitch when it has some consequences down the line.

If it's cancer, type 1 diabetes, certain neurological disorders, or even overweight but motivated and open to making changes, I'm very happy to work with them and work with them to the best of my ability, since it's legitimately not their fault.

If it's someone whose overweight, and doesn't care to make changes, well they should go fuck off and stop wasting my time. That's my mood today.

It might be cruel, but even if that person has 7 kids and is now having to work 60 hours a week to make it, it was still their decision to have the 7 kids, wasn't it? Either that, or they left their reproductive fate in someone else's hands, which is dumb, dumb, dumb!

In other news, I realized that I slink myself away at times to avoid intimidating people; I notice my prof gets a bit shaky when I speak with her, so I make sure to stand a bit shorter, cut eye contact short, and smile more. I wonder if in so doing, I'm alerting people even more to an incongruence. Not sure how to approach this, because I'm a couple inches over 6 foot, and I'm just under 200 pounds of mostly muscle (and growing). I could simply say that it's other peoples' responsibility to deal with how they perceive me, especially when I'm fully expressive and physically present.

Studying for the midterm tomorrow has been hard work, since I don't know if it's sinking in, and how I will perform tomorrow. Let's see if that "shine under pressure" aspect will come up tomorrow.

[FREAK4LIFE]

Stage 1, Day 18,

Gym was good, pMemory was a fun one too.

I'm starting to develop a very small tolerance for people who've, through habit, ignorance and enough time, allow themselves to get into a very tricky situation, and then whine like little babies about it.

Today, our class did a case study with a fictional 60 year old man whose been drinking compulsively for 25 years. He's now in a coma and in critical condition. I'm training to be a health care professional, so my job is to help get him back to "normal". Why tie up resources (my time and taxpayer money) to help someone who very clearly doesn't care enough to help themselves?

And even after that scare (I know this is fictional), this guy will probably start drinking again, and get himself in a whole new mess. Why bother? It's kind of pathetic, very happy to go the 'feel good now' route, and then crying like a little bitch when it has some consequences down the line.

If it's cancer, type 1 diabetes, certain neurological disorders, or even overweight but motivated and open to making changes, I'm very happy to work with them and work with them to the best of my ability, since it's legitimately not their fault.

If it's someone whose overweight, and doesn't care to make changes, well they should go **** off and stop wasting my time. That's my mood today.

It might be cruel, but even if that person has 7 kids and is now having to work 60 hours a week to make it, it was still their decision to have the 7 kids, wasn't it? Either that, or they left their reproductive fate in someone else's hands, which is dumb, dumb, dumb!

In other news, I realized that I slink myself away at times to avoid intimidating people; I notice my prof gets a bit shaky when I speak with her, so I make sure to stand a bit shorter, cut eye contact short, and smile more. I wonder if in so doing, I'm alerting people even more to an incongruence. Not sure how to approach this, because I'm a couple inches over 6 foot, and I'm just under 200 pounds of mostly muscle (and growing). I could simply say that it's other peoples' responsibility to deal with how they perceive me, especially when I'm fully expressive and physically present.

Studying for the midterm tomorrow has been hard work, since I don't know if it's sinking in, and how I will perform tomorrow. Let's see if that "shine under pressure" aspect will come up tomorrow.

Stand tall regardless. I had the same issue before like over a year ago where females would start shaking while talking to me and I would consciously hunch down to make them feel comfortable, fuck their comfort is what I came up in my head and haven't hunched since. If they are getting intimidated by my sexy looks and getting wet down there leading to them shaking in my presence is their problem, not mine.

Funny shit about Diamond foxxx, haha how about the following: brandi love, kendra lust? My favorite milfs lol

How is pmemory coming along? What lesson you on? Is it hard/easy?
Has you memory improved? Have you started employing the lessons in your day to day life? I want to do that in a few weeks.

[SargeMaximus]

If they are getting intimidated by my sexy looks and getting wet down there leading to them shaking in my presence is their problem, not mine.

Not to mention that if you have that effect on them, they will remember you for it and probably seek you out.

Besides that, women like to go through difficulty for men, they like proving themselves. One of my latest favorite porn films (before I went on this challenge) was a movie where a girl was taking it in the ass. It was very painful and the guy was coaching her through it. I was amazed at her determination despite the pain, and it really added another layer to my perception. I began to see what a female is: a vessel for life. Think about it: when giving birth, they go through tremendous pain. Why? It certainly isn't comfortable.

Bottom line: women want a man who can make them feel things, good or bad, because it's tied to some greater purpose.

[Ampersnd]

Thanks for the advice. Yeah, why change personas depending on who I am around.

Don't know anything about the other two.

pMemory is going well; I took today off to study for my midterm coming up today.
I'm on lesson 8, lesson 9 tomorrow.
The beginning lessons are VERY challenging, not exactly difficult, but it's the amount of focus you need to do it properly. Usually takes me about 2 hours or more to do a lesson, with no distractions.

Not at the point where it connects with real world, but each lesson is connecting the dots. The next module (or set of lessons) will teach how to memorize every type of information. It's exciting.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 1, Day 19,

Skipped the night to get a good night's rest; I slept well and slept in, intentionally, to be rested for my midterm. That means I skipped my workout and pMemory, and that I'll pick it up on Saturday. Glad I did, since it went well.

Made me realize how important it is to start the day off well; with a regular wake (no reading my goals, no working out), I was unfocused in the morning. These last two weeks, I've been kicking ass from 6 am up until noon.

I'm starting to realize the possibility that getting women into my life can potentially be 'easy', as long as I stop pursuing women who aren't showing interest (I've had a tendency to do that) and keep building with women who do show interest. Might use BlackDragon's online dating system. I'm not really doing anything right now, but I don't want that to be the case for too long, as I'm going through my youth without having all that much fun. By fun, I mean sex.

I was shown (by BlackDragon, again) that I've been keeping a mental checklist for the 'right mate', and that it's a bunch of bs in the context of escaping from the world of long-term monogamy. His two criterion are:
1) She's physically attractive;
2) She's not going to give drama (not a bitch);

That's it. I would probably add '3) Has decent hygiene'. Wouldn't want her to visit me after the last guy and hasn't showered or brushed teeth. Once again, this is for women to have around in your life, not for serious multiple relationships. Then, honesty and other ground rules get added in.

Funny what you said about the woman and pain, Sarge. The woman with whom I'm currently sleeping was a virgin until she met me. And she was very willing to feel pain as long as I felt good. This is especially true when I initially penetrated her the night she lost her virginity, and a few times afterwards. She would go 'Ow!', and I offered to stop. She would grab me reassuringly and say: "It's okay". It was kind of hot.

I have an impact on the cute girl in my class. Granted, she has a boyfriend. But when I turned around in class to make casual chit chat, when my eyes met hers, her eyes went wide as saucers, and she shook for a second. Then I asked: "watcha doin?", and the conversation started with her sly smile. Sweet.

Wonder if 'Aura of Sexiness' or 'Become Irresistibly Attractive to Women' is in AM6 in the later stages.

Finally did singing warmups since class started (10 days ago). I have to be more consistent despite being busy, as I get good quick, but time off will slow me right now.

[SargeMaximus]

Funny what you said about the woman and pain, Sarge. The woman with whom I'm currently sleeping was a virgin until she met me. And she was very willing to feel pain as long as I felt good. This is especially true when I initially penetrated her the night she lost her virginity, and a few times afterwards. She would go 'Ow!', and I offered to stop. She would grab me reassuringly and say: "It's okay". It was kind of hot.

That's awesome. I really admire that part of women, and it is extremely hot, you're right. Women "take one for the team" in a lot of ways, which is why I still advocate they'd rather be treated badly than good, because they need to feel they're making a sacrifice for something great. As a man, it's our nature to be rough and mean (if we're not socially conditioned, anyhow), and on the basic level, women will gladly take it in the hopes of furthering the human race.

Which BlackDragon blog post made you realize you're two points however? I have the same problem (looking for a mate rather than a sex-friend), and am hoping BlackDragon or someone could release me from it.

[Ampersnd]

It's on the podcasts; in this case, number 4
http://www.blackdragonblog.com/resources/

Extra note for those interested in pMemory; I'm at lesson 9 and I successfully memorized a 120-digit long sequence. It works.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 1, Day 20,

Today was a good day for getting my things done. I have a checklist system, and this was the first day that I could say that I checked off everything (maybe half for one since I didn't actually cook a new meal, but I bought all the needed ingredients).

I intend on doing the same thing tomorrow, except the meal will be cooked.

For class, I did an interview, and did okay. Then, I observed different classmates doing it above and beyond, which opened my eyes. I already knew that I have more to learn, and it's still exciting. But I also look forward to graduating so that I can really start the music path. I'm be practicing and writing until then, so that I'll be really tight.

I felt extreme anger at an imagined situation, which was pretty absurd. Anger to the point of thoughts of killing a specific person (which I haven't even met). Weird; it's much simpler to pull away from stress. Plus, it's very tempting to use clearing techniques.. Nope

This is a great Free Tour video by RSD. Shows the real price to pay for the lack of focus and action:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPpIGQ9ZWFw

I realized that I hadn't given sex any thoughts for 5 days (since the last time I had sex), so low sex drive, but I still took care of that. Wondering if this has to do with Stage 1.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 1, Day 21,

Today, I was able to catch up in everything, do everything on my daily to-do list, and study for my finals.

Felt a bit lonely about it; I'll have to have a focused chunk of the year on social life, but now's not the time.

Over Facebook, I chatted up this musician/producer guy who's got quite a few things going for him; I just asked questions in which I was genuinely interested. He was happy to talk about himself and his work (that's all we did), and he offered to send his EP in advance for me to review.

pMemory is going well; once I'm done all the lessons, I'll be able to memorize the concepts of entire books! Not only that, but I can choose to take the steps and make it a reflex connection, so that it's a part of me. So what will I be memorizing? Firstly, stuff related to my internship, and then social and dating stuff, music theory, languages. The sky's the limit at that point.

That's why I'm not actively learning languages or music theory right now, since I'm doing meta-learning (pMemory) right now. After that, I can zoom by anyone else's progress by April and learn more than anything.

I watched Limitless, and it excited me as well, as I could very well be living up to a portion (albeit a small portion) of that capacity.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 1, Day 22,

Woke up after a 9+ hour sleep; felt lethargic, same as yesterday. Got to work feeling fine. During my break, my manager gave me a free pair of dress shoes, just because my feet are his size (he wasn't crazy about them). I think they look good, and they'll probably go well with my jeans.

I intended to study tonight, but didn't even go there. I don't really need to tonight, though my finals are Wednesday. I'll be meeting with somebody tomorrow afternoon, and we're going to go through the class content together.

I'm changing up my goals. I was successful in doing my 15 day exercise plan; it was more for form than anything. Now, I'm doing a course of 'Yoked' by Jason Ferruggia for upper back and traps (my weak spot). I'm also going to do some focusing on abs and glute, which are other weak spots.

I've reviewed some longer term goals, and I'm feeling pretty good about where I'm headed. Just have to rehearse for my case study tomorrow.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 1, Day 23,

A good Monday morning upper back workout. I need to eventually procure some gymnastics rings to do certain exercises. Then pMemory, which took up a lot of time with certain distractions. I've finally gotten the images from 00 to 99, so once I get them committed to memory, I will be able to link these images together and start memorizing long chains, or webs of whatever I want.

Cooked a good omelet, then prepped for my case study at 1pm. I did pretty well, but my French, combined with a dry mouth, messed me up a bit. I volunteered to observe another student, and then stayed to talk about the topic, and then stayed until 7:45pm to study with two other people. We went deep and covered enough for it to be worth it.

I've realized that I'm one of the only people in the room who chooses to have a smile on my face; I think it's because I took the time in the morning to go through that 'frowny face' in the early morning. My alarm was set for 5:45. Now, it's about 5:40am. I'm not even done with 1 month, and I already love the way it's been playing out.

This quarter, I'll be crushing it in personal skills (memory, body, cooking, practicing), I presume that the second quarter will be professional skills (completing my internship come July, perfect my current languages).

Then, quarter three will POSSIBLY but LIKELY be about Independence (finding a job, finding a place, finding my city, working and paying my bills), dating (online and in-person), and music life. My city will likely be a very hip, modern big city about 2 hours away from my current city, then I'll negotiate someplace much warmer.

Quarter four, if I can even look that far ahead, will likely be about taking the momentum from quarter three and pulling it forward, solidifying my habits and bringing consistence to my results.

In Quarters 3 & 4, I'll be working hard on building a music career.

[Leo1990]

Have you heard of Memory Palace?