Ale's DMSI Journey

[Ale]

Hi all!

I've decided to start a journal myself. I'm Ale, I'm from Buenos Aires and it's been a week since I started listening to DMSI 3.1 A. Doing 2 loops a day.

So far I feel I get irritated easily and last 2 days I woke up to vivid dreams, which I almost never do, or even remember dreams for that matter. And after that I had to do a superhuman effort to get out of bed.
I've also noticed girls subtly looking at me while passing by, but that might be me paying more attention to it lol

I'm mostly into this for the healing, because I feel I need a lot of this before actually going for the human interaction part

Let the game begin!!

[Ale]

Me again...

Ok, a lot of things... I keep having dreams that are waking me up, once a night almost every night. As I said before, it was pretty unusual in me to woke up or even remember dreams. Today I was fighting a wasp it just flew all over me but didn't seem to attack me...

Overall I feel people is being more kind to me, and some guys on the bus gave me stares that made me unconfortable. They looked at me with a face like "who's that freak" lol

I also said I was in this for the healing, and lately I've been thinking about my ex. I'm not going to go very deep into that history, but the summary is that we loved each other, she had cancer, she left me while she still was a whole person, and I guess we were both devastated and I kind of shut down after that.
And it was a long time since I didn't think about that or her, and now it's all coming back. It doesn't make me sad tho, it's like I feel it's coming up so I can release it maybe?

Today I won't have time to listen while I am up so I will go for it during sleep. Do you guys know any good android player that allows me to do my 2 loops while my screen is off? And is it ok if I just put the silent one? I'm listening to hybrid so far but I don't know if I can sleep with that one on.

[DarkPlouf]

Today I won't have time to listen while I am up so I will go for it during sleep. Do you guys know any good android player that allows me to do my 2 loops while my screen is off? And is it ok if I just put the silent one? I'm listening to hybrid so far but I don't know if I can sleep with that one on.

Just create a playlist where you have the track two times.

[Ale]

Today I won't have time to listen while I am up so I will go for it during sleep. Do you guys know any good android player that allows me to do my 2 loops while my screen is off? And is it ok if I just put the silent one? I'm listening to hybrid so far but I don't know if I can sleep with that one on.

Just create a playlist where you have the track two times.

Thanks bro!

[DarkPlouf]

Oh and make sure you disabled the loop mode !

[Ale]

Another week passed. Dreams just dont stop but they are not bad anymore, and last couple of nights they involved girls I know, mostly from the office. I work in a huge company that has 5-6 buildings in my country, so my building alone has over 1000 people working there. So yeah I see a lot of girls every day lol

Anyway, and speaking of work... I was assigned to a new small project and got a reward for it. And I also stepped up and talked with my boss about a promotion. It's not the first time we talked about it, but this time she told me she saw I was ready. It's not her call but she will speak in my behalf, so we will see what happens next.

I still continue to notice that people are overall nicer to me, although I don't notice any improvements with girls yet.

And as for the healing part, which is what I want the most right now, I'm noticing I'm extra sensitive sometimes. Like the other day I had to scold my little nephew... he cried and I felt like shit afterwards, almost like wanting to cry myself. Sometimes I'm just normal, and then other times like that example above its like an emotional rollercoaster. Hope I'm not turning into a girl here

[RTBoss]

Lots of us men experience the emotional rollercoaster. There's nothing girlish about it. It's human. That macho "men don't cry" crap is societal shaming at work, and it's bullshit.

[Ale]

Lots of us men experience the emotional rollercoaster. There's nothing girlish about it. It's human. That macho "men don't cry" crap is societal shaming at work, and it's *****.

Yeah I know, it was a joke. We are humans and have emotions!

Being serious now,it's been years since the last time I actually cried. So I know it's the DMSI working when I get this emotional moments. But I'm still resisting a lot because I felt the need to cry but that's that, I couldn't. And I didn't fight it, at least not consciously.

[Ale]

I'm hungry... all the time. From what I read it happens to a lot of us on DMSI. Wonder why...

I'm also tired and calm, very calm. Even when I should feel like to punch someone in the face, I don't. I'm calm.

That's only today tho. Past days I really wanted to punch someone in the face.

Some days I see myself as ugly and fat, other days I'm handsome.

Close to 30 days now and feelings are all over the place. Somehow I see this as a good sign, but I don't like not being in control of my emotions.

[Ale]

Ok so I've decided to continue on A for more time. It's been a month now and I still don't feel anything changed.
I mean I know some things changed but I feel I didn't improve as much as I wanted to. And I also know it's only been a month but patience was never one of my strenghts. I'm struggling to stay strong and continue on this journey and at the same time I don't wanna go to where I was when I started this. I'm confident but somedays pessimistic as well.

I really want to see improvements with girls since I was always on the shy side but I am convinced I need a lot of healing first, this is why I won't go into B just yet.

You guys experienced similar to what I am now? any advice?

[DarkPlouf]

I'm on A too and didn't notice any change related to attracting girls. Still shy around girls, afraid of beautiful ones too.
I think the healing didn't reach that part yet.
I'm not after women now so it doesn't really bother me and I'm going to switch to another sub anyway.
I'd like to try OF if it'll help with the shyness but I have some priorities. Good luck.

[Bookstacks DC737]

The changes that happen are often so subtle that you won't notice them unless you're writing down what happens.

For me I found that although I didn't suddenly go from shy to extroverted, my baseline of shyness has risen quite considerably. With older subs I could get a burst of great days, but after running the subs I felt like my baseline was the same.

[Ale]

The changes that happen are often so subtle that you won't notice them unless you're writing down what happens.

For me I found that although I didn't suddenly go from shy to extroverted, my baseline of shyness has risen quite considerably. With older subs I could get a burst of great days, but after running the subs I felt like my baseline was the same.

That's great to know. I was never shy for regular talk, but when it comes to escalate things, I always sucked at it, so I do hope my baseline rises as well. Thank you for the reply!

Anyway, another thing I'm noticing is that I'm having a lot of pimples lately, on my back and shoulders. I always had acne issues, but lately I've been having a lot of these. Maybe it's because of me eating so much crap (since I'm always hungry... another change I've noticed from this sub) or maybe it's my body responding or resisting to something.

On the bright side, I used to have a lot of headaches and that has been decreasing over the past week.

[Ale]

Me again! feeling positive but tired these days. Im almost alone at work. I happen to work with 3 women... one is on maternity leave, another is pregnant and in bed rest (she works from home but not too much) and the 3rd has to get surgery next week and she will take a month off...

Soooo, pretty tired! I need to find the energy to exercise because I'm eating a lot, but it's not happening yet!

Anyway, I have a question for you all. I'm still running version A, but when I decide to go to B, do I have to wait a few days without listening? or I can just switch from one day to another?