09-25-2014, 01:50 PM
Just went on FB and found out one of the guys I suspected to be gay was indeed gay... but had a boyfriend. And it was a shock for me... wanting to cry for the mere fact he's already in couple!
Now I have some emotional issues because when I was young I saw all the other people around me being in couple. And because I wasn't going out with someone, I felt like a failure.
And since those days, I spit on every couple I see. I tell to myself "Oh they won't be together for long", "they don't really love each other", ... and I hope that their couple will fail!! And then, I hope that when their couple fail, he'll become in love with me and that I'll reject him, so that he feels as bad as I felt when he was in couple!!!
This is very very mean!
I would prefer to send them wishes of long lasting, ever present love in their couple. But I don't come from that place of abundance.
And there's another part of me that tells me "You'll never find love like them for yourself".
I hope that using SM and getting abundance will shift my view of that.
I have used PSTEC on the feeling I had when seeing he is in a relationship, lowered it quite a lot but I still have my bad thoughts running...
This problem is a true problem for me but well, it will get better
PS: Do you know if a PSTEC program could help me with dealing with that? PSTEC works great on me.
Now I have some emotional issues because when I was young I saw all the other people around me being in couple. And because I wasn't going out with someone, I felt like a failure.
And since those days, I spit on every couple I see. I tell to myself "Oh they won't be together for long", "they don't really love each other", ... and I hope that their couple will fail!! And then, I hope that when their couple fail, he'll become in love with me and that I'll reject him, so that he feels as bad as I felt when he was in couple!!!
This is very very mean!
I would prefer to send them wishes of long lasting, ever present love in their couple. But I don't come from that place of abundance.
And there's another part of me that tells me "You'll never find love like them for yourself".
I hope that using SM and getting abundance will shift my view of that.
I have used PSTEC on the feeling I had when seeing he is in a relationship, lowered it quite a lot but I still have my bad thoughts running...
This problem is a true problem for me but well, it will get better
PS: Do you know if a PSTEC program could help me with dealing with that? PSTEC works great on me.
