AbyssRockstarXXX

[Ryan]

You know in the beginning of SM I felt like I was unable to ever get a woman again or have a girlfriend. I felt like I was always going to loose them. As time went on with Sex Magnet, I began to feel like I'll never need one. You'll get there.

Also, having that happen to me in the beginning of Sex Magnet really helped me see things clearly as I went through the set. Think of it happening for a reason that beneficial to your grow.

Ryan

[boromir]

I agree. You will go through some neediness but I texted a girl earlier today that I've always liked and I went to college with her. I already "missed my chance" with her but I wanted to get back in touch and I figured I'll flirt with her a little and she liked it but I got a little more intimate with it maybe too fast. Either way she responded a many a times and the last time she was just like "hhahaha. pass." Basically passing on the roll play. I could have taken a step back and tried it again but I kind of got of my high horse and took it for what it was. I accepted the rejection in a way I guess but made sure she kept in touch with me because she'll be a networking asset down the road. All in all part of me wishes that I could have done things differently but when I relax and realize that all I need is me and my own vision I know things will turn out fine and I will find an awesome girl that will really like what I have to offer and say.

Spiral, I agree you will find that loving and understanding woman, and once you do; it makes me wonder the consequences. When it rains, it pours!!

[RainbowAbyss]

You know in the beginning of SM I felt like I was unable to ever get a woman again or have a girlfriend. I felt like I was always going to loose them. As time went on with Sex Magnet, I began to feel like I'll never need one. You'll get there.

Also, having that happen to me in the beginning of Sex Magnet really helped me see things clearly as I went through the set. Think of it happening for a reason that beneficial to your grow.

Ryan

that is not how I feel at all-I meant it as a reference to the fact that in my past my pattern was that I slept with woman a couple times and then we became friends or I lost touch with the them-mostly out of my volition. The last few woman I have been with I have been progressively more and more intimate and I feel the possibilities stronger than ever now-caring more and more has been very important to me-some peoples pendulum care to much-some to little and I was swinging on the d---khead side of the fence-if anything I say the greatest fault of subs so far for me is the dissonance between what I expect and the results or reactions I get in real time-there is always a period during subs-for me-where my mind and body are like "yeh I got this I'm the s---t" and then circumstances, or people lol, blow up in my face-lessons in arrogance perhaps

[RainbowAbyss]

Right now the results are matching my expectations though-
feeling really good-its like parts of my mind have been freed. For the sake of fostering gratitude and keeping track:
I have actually been approached three times this last week by very attractive woman, nothing direct but for directions, she was looking for the address of my house because its next to a famous store, and I said "oh that's my house" and she said really flirty "lets go there".
Another time while I was on the phone literally my perfect girl walked by me-we made really hot contact and then she literally turned around after she past, came back and asked for a light-even though her cig. was still on fire.
I don't remember the last one-but the super sexy-cute-girl who works at best buy gave me her gamertag when I bought Modern Warfare 3-I guess that's kind of like getting a phone number handed to-just more nerdy. I've never used xbox live to hook up-but well put SM to the test lol

[Spiral]

Rock on Rainbow! Sounds like fantastic results to me.

[Cortez]

Right now the results are matching my expectations though-
feeling really good-its like parts of my mind have been freed. For the sake of fostering gratitude and keeping track:
I have actually been approached three times this last week by very attractive woman, nothing direct but for directions, she was looking for the address of my house because its next to a famous store, and I said "oh that's my house" and she said really flirty "lets go there".
Another time while I was on the phone literally my perfect girl walked by me-we made really hot contact and then she literally turned around after she past, came back and asked for a light-even though her cig. was still on fire.
I don't remember the last one-but the super sexy-cute-girl who works at best buy gave me her gamertag when I bought Modern Warfare 3-I guess that's kind of like getting a phone number handed to-just more nerdy. I've never used xbox live to hook up-but well put SM to the test lol

Nerd culture is hot right now. I fully expect you to hook up using X-box live! XD

[RainbowAbyss]

thanks guys
I plan to do stage one for an extra five or six days
because I have only gotten 3-5 hours of sleep some nights and in general
I don't listen for longer than eight hours a day so I figured some extra day will be of use.
I also plan on starting a 1 hour meditation brain entertainment hypnosis based on gaining clarity and motivation in one's life-i the background. Its more like listening to an audio book with brain entertainment in the background-no real affirmations. I figure I can use the extra days of stage 1 as and experiment since I have been on stage 1 without anything else for 30 days already.
My immense motivation and action towards sleeping with as many woman as possible has died down significantly the last week-in fact I have been doing really nothing but working and lying around the last week.

[RainbowAbyss]

Tonight is my last night of stage 1
things are pretty crazy. New realizations, growth, pushing out of the comfort zone
is def. happen. Lot of days which seem to bring my deepest issues with woman come out with intensity and then those issues seem gone for good.
I've been and off a porn craze 2 days like crazy-5 days off, 4 days like crazy-4 days off etc-and I can definitively say for myself
that while on one hand- I'm sure porn is no big deal, unless your an addict,-my level of success with woman and my own motivation and happiness in life is at least 3x more powerful and better when I've gone a 2 day without it-the first day is always a kind of re calibration day. Apparently it has some serious non-beneficial/negative qualities on your brain and your energy levels...all ethics and 'natural character' vs. 'social character' conditioning discussions aside-the shizz just straight up not worth it. As of now I'm committing to zero porn for the rest of the next month and then only if I'm watching it with a girl I'm also willing to bet that if any male on this forum who may 'indulge' were to 'abstain' for a week many subtle issues with woman and angst's concerning woman would simply vanish and be replaced by something very powerful.
I will say before sex magnet I had been off the lust juice for a while lol (I was really into natural grounding and avoided porn like the plague ) and when I did go on it even for a bit-it wrecked me-like send me into a spiraling depression-on SM it has become 'no big deal' but still a preference I'd rather not dabble with anymore-its like eating the diet of a professional athlete+non harmful steroids vs. eating twinkies all day long.

[RainbowAbyss]

Stage 1 changes-I'll try to be kind of emotionally and results specific
1. Feel much more in tune with woman-like the kind of guy who just relates with them and talks to them where ever
2. Stronger sexual tension everywhere I go
3. Much more driven from within myself-WAY more than even on alpha
4. Feeling totally afloat or a drift yet extremely certain
5. Approach and talk to woman more when I feel like it-I can say the stupidest or most mundane shit like I'm shooting the sh--z with someone I'm barely paying attention to and it 'lands', as in great reactions-smiles sexual eye contact, like a cannon going off.
6. In the last 3 weeks my friends are always commenting on how I have crazy 'game' and every time they look away some girl and I are all up on each-other-while this is very true-its still not leading anywhere with consistency-and while that rep from my friends and the respect with it is nice-and very masculinity empowering within my 'tribe' -I've only had sex 2 times so far in stage 1 and would rather more of that than a 'rep'
7. Self image and Self Esteem are WAY higher, than they every were on Alpha even, my sense of self worth is much greater and at the same time I feel less concerned with self image-more humble
8. More 'alpha' in that I stick by my mood, I don't placate, I'm slower in movement and responses and way crazy and faster when I feel like it.
8. Way less neediness-excluding the rough days
9. My focus is very present-on how I feel and what I am doing-its easier to pull myself out of ruts and/or depressions and everything feels very driven yet carefree-even though I don't always feel very 'happy' I feel much more carefree while not being apathetic
10. My presence is huge now-I almost try to reel it in sometimes when I don't want attention or feel a tension in certain scenarios
11. Much more comfortable with myself and in my skin
12. Sex drive is way higher-and that is with smoking cigarettes and drinking when I'm out partying-which brings me to my next point
13. Strong drive to just have fun and be wild and reckless-double edge sword-I'm approaching way more woman and trying new things but-this month I think I drank and smoked more than I have since college-possibly more-and I wake up feeling fantastic...which is almost worse lol
14. Of course everything in my life seems to be pushing/urging me to become someone very new.
15. Most obviously-my body language feels like I'm some jungle cat-there is a new swag in my walk-

All in all I'm generally very impressed with stage one-the beginning was rough at times and I had one experience of jealousy+ disappointment that felt like it castrated me, which was the worse and it took about 32 hours to get over to a point where it felt like that issue wont exist inside me anymore.

While I like just playing the sub and getting on with my life this next month I plan to be very conscious and proactive with really filling out my life with activities and things I enjoy that have nothing to do with woman and/or 'drugs'-as well as being very conscious and proactive about bringing more woman into my life. While I have the night scene fairly well down-there is definitely way more progress to be had there- and I'm looking to start up some online dating and start taking classes with things I'm interested in where they will be awesome woman. As of now my motivation feels very balanced between independent self and really getting into some amazing experiences with woman.

[RainbowAbyss]

Oh I agree with Wildflower-I love being on this set-even stage one-it feels like everything I have been waiting for-and is the only sub I have been on where I really don't care how long it takes-hence 37-(38?) days of stage on.

[RainbowAbyss]

wow-don't everyone blow up this journal at once...

2 nights on stage two-drastic difference.
Its like all the tension and motivation and drive I had in stage 1 got lifted over night.
I feel super open and relaxed, all the time and very indifferent. Not really feeling that horny any more except when I focus on it-I can bring up a sexual state really quickly by focusing on my body.
Its seems this stage is doing something to refocus my means of generating sexuality. As of stage 1 I was very into visual sexuality-like my mind would be running with images whenever I experienced strong sexual desire-now its just open and there with a clear mind.
My energy feels like it connects to many woman seamlessly
I don't feel very edgy-which is very strange feeling to have because edgy-ness is a quality I have become very familiar with and even come to love.
I'm getting a lot of eye contact as well as feeling like doing whatever I do, or being social in whatever way, with total focus and disregard to whoever is around except the person I am engaging.

My friends and I all threw together a pre-thanksgiving thanksgiving party-where we all cooked and baked and brought stuff. I was the only one of my male friends there without a girlfriend, and by the end of the night everyone was cuddling with each other. All six present were some of my closest friends so it was a lot of fun and by no means strange for me to be around but it was the first time ever-without feeling needy and without feeling like 'I just didn't give a shit', that I felt a strong desire for that without really caring at the same time. I don't know if its an effect of stage two but it seems more possible and super simple to me now to just get a girl to come to stuff like that with me which I never even thought about before for whatever reason.

[Cortez]

It only gets better too. Sounds like you're already really enjoying the effects of this.

[RainbowAbyss]

yes sir...absolutely

[RainbowAbyss]

lot of changes going on, some very enjoyable
others upsetting and dissapointing
I've become AMAZING at getting my friends laid, without even trying, but not myself
really f-ing pissing me off
in general I am much more Alpha and have great sexual chemistry with alot of woman.
I've had a lot of satori's concerning my independence and putting woman in their place when they cross the line-
I'm way hornier but my sexuality comes in waves, I really feel a strong transition from dispersing my energy in mental and fantasy sex-to 'trying' to have real sex and this is a very emotionally painful process that at times evens off into a bleakness about life. Right now I feel worthless since all I want, as a matter of intention and oscillating physical desire, is to be having sex with woman I find attractive yet I can't always bring myself into alignment and when I do things don't always go as I like/escalate towards. I'm also finding myself like a SUPER PUA rather than just that guy who gets laid. By this I mean I feel like some instinct is missing in me, I go through the motions of whats right but somethings missing-I feel like letting go and being carefree is a trap and so is pushing and/or pursuing in a badass way-lot of confusion. All I know is that I want to feel control with myself over this and be confident and have total 100% belief that when I am attracted to a woman, I can make things happen-now obviously not a 100% but more often than not. I just don't understand how this is not happening in my life-its been so easy in the past-I'm not interested in becoming more and more withdrawn as in Alpha, I'm interested in being more and more engaged and making real progress in this area-and it just feels frozen-I'm thinking of adding some conscious mirror affirmations to address this area-in any way intellectually I know it doesn't fucking matter but its causing me a lot of emotional pain lately. I feel like I'm giving 100% without being a 'try hard' and its not good enough.