11-24-2013, 09:03 AM
Last night I went out to the clubs/bars where my mates live. The beginning of the night I was with one of my best mates jake and we had a pint, played some pool and watched football, pretty chilled but I was bored after a while. We then went and met about 15-20 people in this bar that we knew and some new people as well. My ex was there and I found it pretty damn awkward, when I was there I felt pretty bad, taken out of my comfort zone and when talking to people I just found the more I tried to hide the fact I was anxious/out of my comfort zone the less they looked interested in what I wanted to say. This girl who had too many drinks throughout the night called me faggot, not a real man and gay...bare in mind this girl has daddy issues and is a radical feminist lol. She kept slapping my face and putting her hands on my cheeks in a patronizing way infront of my ex and this other hot girl, I found this shameful and I looked at her like wtf are you doing "Don't give me that look!" she said and I walked off.
When sat down on the sofas I just gave up trying to make conversation with anyone, felt pretty negative and disconnected, invisible barrier between connecting with people. When I had a few more drinks though this all dissolved, became super chatty/not giving a fuck and flirted with the girls and had a masculine presence. Sigh. I hate the fact drink makes me how I want to be normally...
then me, jake and some others all left the bar and headed to this club, I enjoy clubs after a few drinks I really let go and dance 24/7, as much as I thought that they wouldn't be my scene, they actually are really fun for me. Don't need to sit down awkwardly in a pub/bar to chat you can just dance and have women grind on you etc. Me and my mate met this girl who I had known of previously from my old school, she was a HB9 for sure with massive tits lol. She hung around us for the rest of the night and we had a good time, was a funny dynamic having 1 girl between me and jake cause we both were thinking, who's got who? lol
I find that I get started on by other males at clubs fairly regularly, last week one guy grabbed me and told me to stop dancing into him etc. and threatened me, so I just looked straight at him and put my hand on his arm (which was on me) and said "It's all good mate, no problems here, do you have a problem?" with open and relaxed body language, that guy then got escorted out by the bouncers. and last night the same thing happened this big dude just walked over grabbed me and told me fuck off or something so I just did the same thing, calmly and assertivelly said there isn't a problem here whilst looking at him, my mate wanted to fight him and told him to lay off me etc. I just held jake back like nah it's ok. Felt good, I wonder why I seem to attract these kinds of people at clubs?
Overall It was a crazy night, so much more happened but I cba to write that all down. I'm very frustrated that I feel I can't let myself go without a few drinks, it's a shame.
When sat down on the sofas I just gave up trying to make conversation with anyone, felt pretty negative and disconnected, invisible barrier between connecting with people. When I had a few more drinks though this all dissolved, became super chatty/not giving a fuck and flirted with the girls and had a masculine presence. Sigh. I hate the fact drink makes me how I want to be normally...
then me, jake and some others all left the bar and headed to this club, I enjoy clubs after a few drinks I really let go and dance 24/7, as much as I thought that they wouldn't be my scene, they actually are really fun for me. Don't need to sit down awkwardly in a pub/bar to chat you can just dance and have women grind on you etc. Me and my mate met this girl who I had known of previously from my old school, she was a HB9 for sure with massive tits lol. She hung around us for the rest of the night and we had a good time, was a funny dynamic having 1 girl between me and jake cause we both were thinking, who's got who? lol
I find that I get started on by other males at clubs fairly regularly, last week one guy grabbed me and told me to stop dancing into him etc. and threatened me, so I just looked straight at him and put my hand on his arm (which was on me) and said "It's all good mate, no problems here, do you have a problem?" with open and relaxed body language, that guy then got escorted out by the bouncers. and last night the same thing happened this big dude just walked over grabbed me and told me fuck off or something so I just did the same thing, calmly and assertivelly said there isn't a problem here whilst looking at him, my mate wanted to fight him and told him to lay off me etc. I just held jake back like nah it's ok. Felt good, I wonder why I seem to attract these kinds of people at clubs?
Overall It was a crazy night, so much more happened but I cba to write that all down. I'm very frustrated that I feel I can't let myself go without a few drinks, it's a shame.
