11-18-2013, 07:24 PM
(11-18-2013, 07:13 PM)AlphaScorpio Wrote: Yeh makes alot of sense, guess I'm gonna have to just bite the bullet with life.
Think I tend to suppress a lot, as soon as I feel a negative emotion I switch off and disconnect from whatever I'm doing and get in my head.
e.g. I was with a close friend on sunday and we were just having good talk about the night before at the club for my bday etc. was in a good mood.
Then this other guy comes to pick us up cause we were going up a hill to chill and smoke.
When he gets there me and my friend both get in. I start talking to this guy and he talked down to me and made me feel bad, so immediately I got offended started feeling rejection and went quiet and in my head, that was it pretty much for the rest of the journey and when we got to the hill the guy who picked us up answered a phone call while me and my good friend went for a smoke, I still felt in my head and it ruined the vibe, I still managed to talk but just didnt feel much emotion because it was bottled.
I think this is why I avoid a lot of stuff in the outside world in case I get this triggered response...
Seems to be. I know from what you've said before in this journal, you have trouble with how people perceive you (saying you're gay, or whatnot).
Thing is, words are meaningless.
I want you to think about that for a moment.
Then say something out loud that you know for a fact is not true. Like, say "I'm a millionaire right now." or "Human's live on the moon."
Play with how meaningless words are, and that might help you realize that words people say are just as meaningless. Furthermore, you can have fun with whatever people say.
I told you about how I was talking to a guy once about my movies (a thing I'm VERY passionate about) and he called one of them "gay".
I just accepted it. "It is kinda gay." I said, without even being serious. I wasn't siding with him, I was dismissing what he said by agreeing with him, if you know what I mean.
Also, when you do, finally, start grabbing life by the balls, other people who are less-developed than you in terms of personal growth, well, their opinions aren't worth the air they take to say. Honestly.
The more you distinguish yourself for your OWN reasons, the better life gets.
