11-04-2013, 09:36 AM
(This post was last modified: 11-04-2013, 09:40 AM by AlphaScorpio.)
My mother's been in a bad mood today, when I was getting ready for college this morning I walked into the kitchen and my mum and dad were arguing, my mum said something about how she can't always be strong and how he has to be strong for once etc. Basically my dad has been trying to get my mum to help him work with a lecturing course at their college. My mum used to work there teaching and has now resigned due to having conflict with the people at the top, she says stuff like "That college is too male dominated". My dad thinks that if both of them work on this course and help eachother that would be best but my mum can't stand the people at the college who make the decisions. My dad got upset that she resigned, she is finishing off working there til christmas but then she's done and will have no job.
So I get home from college (I've started a new course in personal fitness training) and talk to mum, we ended up getting into an argument about sending my 3rd sister to an all girls school because she gets bullied at the current one she's at (boys making comments and doing inappropriate things like touching her) I said to my mum that instead of sending my sister away from the school instead why not try and help her become more assertive and have some higher self esteem (my sister has learning difficulties which isn't easy), I also said that by sending her to an all girls school she might not understand what the opposite sex is like (like my oldest sister who hasn't had a boyfriend yet, she's 15, nearly 16) . My mum then retorted saying well I don't think all your years at a mixed school taught you much about the opposite sex. You've lost confidence with the opposite sex and have developed a resentment towards them. I felt awful when she said this, I will admit though - yes I have lost confidence with women, I used to have a way with girls and had a few relationships (got worse as I got older though) but I really do not hate women or think they are mere sexual objects to be used. But that comment got me thinking about my lack of a male role model, people calling me gay and femenine and my mother and father's feminist views and how that all affected me.
I feel quite helpless as on one side I feel like I'll never be good with women again or get into a relationship (been roughly 2 years since my last girlfriend) and on the other side im confused about being too needy/dependant and focusing on other things in my life.
My mother had a bad relationship with her mother (gran) and she is talking more and more about how she is so hurt by her mother. I find this stuff really fucked up and it scares me.
So I get home from college (I've started a new course in personal fitness training) and talk to mum, we ended up getting into an argument about sending my 3rd sister to an all girls school because she gets bullied at the current one she's at (boys making comments and doing inappropriate things like touching her) I said to my mum that instead of sending my sister away from the school instead why not try and help her become more assertive and have some higher self esteem (my sister has learning difficulties which isn't easy), I also said that by sending her to an all girls school she might not understand what the opposite sex is like (like my oldest sister who hasn't had a boyfriend yet, she's 15, nearly 16) . My mum then retorted saying well I don't think all your years at a mixed school taught you much about the opposite sex. You've lost confidence with the opposite sex and have developed a resentment towards them. I felt awful when she said this, I will admit though - yes I have lost confidence with women, I used to have a way with girls and had a few relationships (got worse as I got older though) but I really do not hate women or think they are mere sexual objects to be used. But that comment got me thinking about my lack of a male role model, people calling me gay and femenine and my mother and father's feminist views and how that all affected me.
I feel quite helpless as on one side I feel like I'll never be good with women again or get into a relationship (been roughly 2 years since my last girlfriend) and on the other side im confused about being too needy/dependant and focusing on other things in my life.
My mother had a bad relationship with her mother (gran) and she is talking more and more about how she is so hurt by her mother. I find this stuff really fucked up and it scares me.
