2017 αℓ∂єη'ѕ мєтαмσяρнσѕιѕ

[alden]

For some obsessive compulsive reason, I just want to start a new thread for 2017. I have not used any subliminal for 2 months now. My plan is to use Stop Masturbating (STM) again for the whole month of January. And from February to July, I'll have my second run of AM6. What happens after that, I'll think of that later...

[alden]

My first PUA mentor chatted me on Facebook after almost a year. I told him I've been pulling girls more easily now, but still no lay. I couldn't figure out how to push my interactions to sex. I'm a virgin. To break my inhibitions, he advised me to go to a massage house, and pay for extra service. Just wear a condom.

I immediately contacted a former friend who already cut me out of his network. He's a patron of prostitutes. I treated him for some drinks and told him I need to get some teenage whore to practice lay, but he won't give me one. Wtf!

I got a little drunk though, watched porn and masturbated to ejaculation, but felt no orgasm. I had a dream at night. There's this girl I loved before. She's got a kind handsome boyfriend—that male heart throb girls fall for in high school. We're all in the same social circle, so I had to interact with him as well. I felt jealous.

[alden]

I'd been a virgin for so long. That even though I already kissed a neigbor's pussy when I was 5 years old. I'd kissed, fingered, boob licked, dry pumped my then girlfriend a number of times when I was 17-19 year old. When I was 23, I had intimate moments with an underage girl.

I never thought that getting girls is so hard until I turned 28, when I experienced lots rejections from girls. I did pickup arts, but I couldn't escalate beyond touching the girl's face and kissing her on the cheek. I had inhibitions. So, with my former mentor's advice, I thought I had to at least hire a pretty 17-19 prostitute to practice sex, to break my inhibitions.

I made attempts to find such girl, but it didn't happen. Add to that that I'm almost broke now because I previously bought a motorcycle, the purpose of which is still to lay girls more easily.

Then a friend of mine met me 4 days before the New Year. He wanted to have some facial treatment. We looked for a good derma clinic, but we couldn't find one at that time. In my place though, massage houses often offer facial treatments as well. We did went to one such massage house and I persuaded him that we take the massage service as well.

The massage therapist looked older than me, her chubby figure isn't something I'd desire, she's absolutely not a hot babe. But anyway, she offered to give me a blow job at the time I felt I needed to experience sex the most. So I paid her. Then I realized I don't have that much inhibitions. I made her do a lot of things, but still they didn't make me more horny.

I regret that experience for a few days. Technically, I'm no longer a virgin, though still, I haven't inserted it to a vagina. Looking back though, what the fuck is sex?! And why had I put so much importance on my own virginity? Social conditioning shits!

[alden]

AM6 2nd run | Stage 1 | Day 001 | +07h 56m = 007h 56m | 0007h 56m

I decided to hack my mind. I was able to accomplish most of the habits I set: drink water upon waking up, do yoga, listen to AM6, no fapping, go to the gym, do my laundry, and track my spending. I failed to do these other habits though: market my business, practice Cory Skyy affirmation, approach girls.

Here's something interesting though. I had a lucid dream, where I did lascivious acts with a young neighbor.

[alden]

AM6 2nd run | Stage 1 | Day 002 | +03h 00m = 010h 56m | 0010h 56m

I really don't know how long I listened to AM6 last night. The headset fell from my ear.

I masturbated several times yesterday, I couldn't even remember how many times. Some trending news about this 16-year old girl offering her body to an older man with a BMW surfaced on Facebook. I got distracted, I spent some hours dealing with that surge of libido.

Even before that though, I already failed to do most of my habits for that day. I failed to do yoga, eat at least 4 times a day, market my business, practice affirmation, and approach women. On a positive note, I drank water in the morning, performed my mind-hacking program, did my laundry and tracked my spending.

I'm going to meet one of my wingmen today and we will practice our game. Just writing this made me feel some anxiety in my stomach.

[alden]

AM6 2nd run | Stage 1 | Day 003 | +14h 22m = 025h 18m | 0025h 18m

My wingman failed to sarge with me on Day 2. I went out alone. My purpose was to reset the habit of going out consistently and standing close to nice-looking girls. I had no plan to approach though. I had 2 weeks hiatus, so I wanted to keep my social energy at a level I was comfortable with that time... just going out, no creepiness, no getting rejected at this point. I didn't know how long I'll stay in these stages though. The next step is saying something.

On Day 3, I messed up again. It was a day full of masturbation. I couldn't even count how many times I fapped. I was lethargic. At night time, I watched the movie Fight Club. I love that film, I could watch it over and over again. I particularly could relate to the anti-establishments attitude of Tyler Durden and his chode dual personality.

[alden]

AM6 2nd run | Stage 1 | Day 004 | +09h 42m = 035h 00m | 0035h 00m

The day before, a girl I met in a solo sarge texted me. I was so bad at sparking attraction that I eventually lost the girl after 7 exchanges of messages.

This day was almost good if not for the 4 hours of porn-watching I spent at night. I was worried about my debts, I entertained the thought of having a job. I searched for job hirings in the provinces nearby. Then I learned that my education and other qualifications are no longer relevant to the requirements of the industries I would opt to serve. And I'm getting past the age when most companies would be happy to hire me. Also, I made terrible exits in most of the companies I served, bad record.

Finally, I decided that I'll go back to school again this year. I have 4 options: a Master in Behavioral Sciences, an MBA, a BS Law, and a Master in Economics, in that order. This shall be the most important priority this year.

[alden]

AM6 2nd run | Stage 1 | Day 005 | +03h 06m = 038h 06m | 0038h 06m

Need to add for Day 6:
+08h 00m -03h 06m = +04h 54m
+04h 54m x 1.5 = +07h 21m

[alden]

AM6 2nd run | Stage 1 | Day 006 | +00h 00m = 038h 06m | 0038h 06m

Backlog from Day 6:
+08h 00m -00h 00m = +08h 00m
+08h 00m x 1.5 = +12h 00m

Backlog from Day 5: +07h 21m

Need to add for Day 7: +12h 00m +07h 21m = +19h 21m

[alden]

AM6 2nd run | Stage 1 | Day 007 | +04h 00m = 042h 06m | 0042h 06m

Backlog from Day 7:
+08h 00m -04h 00m = +04h 00m
+04h 00m x 1.5 = +06h 00m

Backlog from Day 5-6: +19h 21m

Need to add for Day 8: +06h 00m +19h 21m = +25h 21m

[alden]

AM6 2nd run | Stage 1 | Day 008 | +11h 30m = 053h 36m | 0053h 36m

Need to add for Day 9:
+08h 00m -11h 30m = -03h 30m
+25h 21m -03h 30m = +21h 51m

[alden]

AM6 2nd run | Stage 1 | Day 009 | +08h 45m = 062h 21m | 0062h 21m

Need to add for Day 10:
+08h 00m -08h 45m = -00h 45m
+21h 51m -00h 45m = +21h 06m

[alden]

AM6 2nd run | Stage 1 | Day 010 | +09h 13m = 071h 34m | 0071h 34m

Need to add for Day 11:
+08h 00m -09h 13m = -01h 13m
+21h 06m -01h 13m = +19h 53m

[alden]

AM6 2nd run | Stage 1 | Day 011 | +12h 00m = 083h 34m | 0083h 34m

Need to add for Day 12:
+08h 00m -12h 00m = -04h 00m
+19h 53m -04h 00m = +15h 53m