09-18-2013, 07:41 PM
I have been on and off some subliminals for a while now. And because I was never really consistent, I didnt notice any chance nor did I think it will work.
While looking more into this, I came across this forum and followed a lotta you guys. So initially to see the results, I thought of giving Absolute Self confidence a try. Its been around 5 days since I have started listening to ASC and I havent seen much chance in my thoughts yet.
This mostly because I am studying for a major national board exam coming up Oct 30. If I do good on this, I may have a chance of getting matched to a medical residency in Canada. So its big for me. I have always been scared of exams even though I have given so many exams all my life.
I notice myself postponing exams, never being completely prepared for them, have anxiety attacks and panic at the last moment, take the exam somehow manage to do good or pass and then move on. I always feel like I never put my 100%. But then time and again I rinse and repeat the cycle.
However, I am not in a great position now for the upcoming exam. I have noticed a change in my behavior pattern. These days, I dont feel panic. Even though I have a little over 40 days left before the exam. I analyze plan accordingly and study. I still have negative thoughts coming my way. But I less get tangled up on them. The worst of all is a recent break up, 4 months back (lol not that recent), that makes me feel guilty. The worst part was that she moved on the next day from a 6 yr relationship and if it was nothing. My frds say that i never made her realize my value, always doin things. I have convinced myself she wasnt the one. But what makes me feel guilty/scared/sad/bad is that even though I helped her from gettin in dental school to all the way thru her 4th yr; that she already has secured herself a dental residency for next yr. But if my exam doesnt go well, I might jeopardize my chances of gettin medical residency next yr and will have to try again.
I am almost 27 and being from an indian origin, my parents get few marriage proposals from distant relatives. And I feel like I havent accounted to anything yet. Sure, I will finish my 4th yr of medical school by the end of 2013 but that doesnt mean shit if you cannot secure a residency, which will give you licensing rights to practice.
I pictured myself to be a certain way by 27, good solid physique, well on my way to be a doctor, support family a little bit financially. But here, I am with no physique, maaan my hair is shedding because of this stress...
Its like a domino effect. A vicious cycle that juss gets worse lol
So anyways these thoughts cloud my mind, which distracts me from preparing for exam.
Anyways, I Dont want to think of all those things again. ASC kinda makes me feel more relaxed about these things. Its like my mind telling me. STFU! give your best shot leave everything else to God. So, I see more like an opportunity in this negative turmoil. An opportunity of growth.
In these 5 days of ASC, ASC has not taken the pain way. But I see pain as an opportunity for progress. Be friend with it and be thankful that it came your way.
I think I will update this journal every 5 days or week.
Hope for the best!
While looking more into this, I came across this forum and followed a lotta you guys. So initially to see the results, I thought of giving Absolute Self confidence a try. Its been around 5 days since I have started listening to ASC and I havent seen much chance in my thoughts yet.
This mostly because I am studying for a major national board exam coming up Oct 30. If I do good on this, I may have a chance of getting matched to a medical residency in Canada. So its big for me. I have always been scared of exams even though I have given so many exams all my life.
I notice myself postponing exams, never being completely prepared for them, have anxiety attacks and panic at the last moment, take the exam somehow manage to do good or pass and then move on. I always feel like I never put my 100%. But then time and again I rinse and repeat the cycle.
However, I am not in a great position now for the upcoming exam. I have noticed a change in my behavior pattern. These days, I dont feel panic. Even though I have a little over 40 days left before the exam. I analyze plan accordingly and study. I still have negative thoughts coming my way. But I less get tangled up on them. The worst of all is a recent break up, 4 months back (lol not that recent), that makes me feel guilty. The worst part was that she moved on the next day from a 6 yr relationship and if it was nothing. My frds say that i never made her realize my value, always doin things. I have convinced myself she wasnt the one. But what makes me feel guilty/scared/sad/bad is that even though I helped her from gettin in dental school to all the way thru her 4th yr; that she already has secured herself a dental residency for next yr. But if my exam doesnt go well, I might jeopardize my chances of gettin medical residency next yr and will have to try again.
I am almost 27 and being from an indian origin, my parents get few marriage proposals from distant relatives. And I feel like I havent accounted to anything yet. Sure, I will finish my 4th yr of medical school by the end of 2013 but that doesnt mean shit if you cannot secure a residency, which will give you licensing rights to practice.
I pictured myself to be a certain way by 27, good solid physique, well on my way to be a doctor, support family a little bit financially. But here, I am with no physique, maaan my hair is shedding because of this stress...
Its like a domino effect. A vicious cycle that juss gets worse lol
So anyways these thoughts cloud my mind, which distracts me from preparing for exam.
Anyways, I Dont want to think of all those things again. ASC kinda makes me feel more relaxed about these things. Its like my mind telling me. STFU! give your best shot leave everything else to God. So, I see more like an opportunity in this negative turmoil. An opportunity of growth.
In these 5 days of ASC, ASC has not taken the pain way. But I see pain as an opportunity for progress. Be friend with it and be thankful that it came your way.
I think I will update this journal every 5 days or week.
Hope for the best!
