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Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
01-10-2017, 06:46 AM
Post: #1
Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
Short break is over.

I have powered up AM. And after not even the first round I feel home. Like summer outdoors. And Janis Joplin sings Piece Of My Heart in my head.

So good.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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yeah!
01-10-2017, 04:14 PM
Post: #2
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
OK. Some observations.

Have been playing AM all afternoon up till now in the middle of the night. And it is still playing. When I went to sleep everything was normal. After about one complete cycle or a bit more than 90 minutes of sleep I just woke up because of a fully powered up aura that enveloped me.

A mixture of strong heat sensation and something similar to an electrically charged envelop. Made me fully awake like suddenly jumping into higher beta wave range. I can still feel it as I write.

I think AM is interacting with DMSI here. I had that before when I tested AOSI v1 while I was on BASE when it was somewhat unclear if AOSI could be used along side another sub for short term effect. Although this time the aura is way more pronounced.

While actively on DMSI there was no incident of me feeling the aura at all. On my 48 hours break there was no incident of me feeling the aura.

My emotional/mental state is clear. I feel no kind of turbulence. I experienced turbulence before when playing around with earlier versions of DMSI and BASE, so I know how it feels like. Right now, not the case.

I have no idea what kind of aura is projected, whether it is the intended DMSI aura or a highly powered AM aura (if it is part of Stage 1). Only thing I know it is mighty strong Wink

And now ... back to sleep. If I can.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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01-11-2017, 09:18 AM
Post: #3
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
Inspired by the recent discussion over at chaosvrgn's place about personality types and how they perceive and react to the world around them, I have taken a test myself. The result: Raz is INFP-T.

Interesting to read about how the generalized INFP thinks and acts. And for some parts eerily accurate. So what better time than at the beginning of AM to get to understand how this personality type works, what its weaknesses are, and what its strengths.

Great inspiration.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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eternity, Have at ye
01-12-2017, 12:36 AM
Post: #4
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
Nice! Another INFP people, as me. Big Grin
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01-12-2017, 12:37 AM
Post: #5
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
Lol infps dominate the internet I'm not surprised how many are on this forum.

AM6>WM2>AM6 (Current)
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Different Heaven
01-12-2017, 01:58 AM
Post: #6
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
Dreamers in a dream world.

It's interesting to learn about INFP's. Although it is quite generalized there are some nuggets to be found that shed light onto things that I am or have been struggling with. At the same time I am a bit reluctant to take everything at face value and blindly believing that this is the exact way I tic.

Dreamscape is changing. I haven't really figured out themes yet, but the difference to last week or month is noticeable. No direct challenges, more like observing some perceived flaws or weaknesses of mine.

A direction will become clearer after some calibration time.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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01-12-2017, 11:57 AM
Post: #7
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
My appetite for reading in the forum is in free fall. As is my desire to consume news of any kind. I'm kind of not interested any more.

I'll keep posting though. It's an activity through which I convert my thoughts into a deeper understanding. I used to dive into related journals whenever I started a new sub, but this is different now too. Every journey is so different that it somehow stopped to make sense to read what may be up ahead.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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Have at ye
01-13-2017, 04:50 AM
Post: #8
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
Still thinking about personality types.

Can somebody of you with experience in the realm personality types give me a clue whether those traits are inborn or develop through environmental conditions?

I'd think a mixture of both. And is it possible that personality types change? And I don't mean changing because of some traumatic incident but because of conscious self-development and the like.

Thanks.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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01-13-2017, 08:01 AM
Post: #9
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
You are inborn with your personality type, but how deeply you fall on either side can change throughout your life due to circumstances. I have a 8 month old niece and I can tell she's an ESF but I'm not sure if she is a J or a P yet. Once you know what to look for you can easily identify most people. However, how far you lean towards one trait over another can fluctuate. I was a 60% Introvert for a while but I know now that I am much less introverted than I was before, and that was due to the clearing of some fears.

If you dig into the MBTI you find out that there is a certain timeline for developing your weaknesses.

INFP Big Grin
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Raz, Different Heaven
01-14-2017, 06:55 AM
Post: #10
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
(01-13-2017 08:01 AM)Wharrgarbl Wrote:  You are inborn with your personality type, but how deeply you fall on either side can change throughout your life due to circumstances. I have a 8 month old niece and I can tell she's an ESF but I'm not sure if she is a J or a P yet. Once you know what to look for you can easily identify most people. However, how far you lean towards one trait over another can fluctuate. I was a 60% Introvert for a while but I know now that I am much less introverted than I was before, and that was due to the clearing of some fears.

If you dig into the MBTI you find out that there is a certain timeline for developing your weaknesses.

Fascinating, thanks.

Brings me to the inevitable 'How?' but I know at the same time there is no satisfying answer to that with our current state of knowledge.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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Wharrgarbl
01-14-2017, 07:16 AM
Post: #11
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
Something is changing. Cannot quite put a finger on it, but there is a shift.

I am getting a bit more serious and less 'it's all flowers and bumblebees'. Had a slight anger flare up this morning and I relished it. I am isolating myself ... less or a bit differently. Feels as if a battery is charging up to let me jump wholeheartedly into outside world adventures. I'll call it lust for life or zest.

Reminiscing about times in my life where I plunged into the world without a second thought and how this faded in and out after that period but never reached the same high point. I'll get back there again.

Before I never felt quite ready or deserving to run AM. Now I know it is the right thing for me. It's as if every sub before helped me to prepare for it. To take up the cocoon metaphor from two or so weeks ago: this is the stage where I break out of my cocoon, breath life into my transforming self and start to fly. A lot of my old hold ups have been removed before and now it is time to get into the business of expanding and unfolding.

Right now it is still all in my head, but the sap is spreading.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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01-14-2017, 07:33 AM
Post: #12
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
(01-13-2017 08:01 AM)Wharrgarbl Wrote:  You are inborn with your personality type, but how deeply you fall on either side can change throughout your life due to circumstances. I have a 8 month old niece and I can tell she's an ESF but I'm not sure if she is a J or a P yet. Once you know what to look for you can easily identify most people. However, how far you lean towards one trait over another can fluctuate. I was a 60% Introvert for a while but I know now that I am much less introverted than I was before, and that was due to the clearing of some fears.

If you dig into the MBTI you find out that there is a certain timeline for developing your weaknesses.

Another INFP yay! ROFL.

Yeah, INFP dominates the internet, and some artist or story teller, even musician.
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Wharrgarbl
01-14-2017, 07:53 AM
Post: #13
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
Another thing I just realized is that the masked track raises my mood noticeably while the silent one keeps me neutral/serious.

Thinking back to LTU, which till today is the sub that gave me the highest in-the-face and overall changes, I remember that I ran that one exclusively with the masked track. I'll keep listening to US over night because of the sheer comfort of silence, but will try to get more exposure during the day with the masked track.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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01-16-2017, 02:26 AM
Post: #14
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
I am getting more thoughts of doing what needs to be done. At the same time I don't really get the fire going and could stare against a wall all day and do nothing.

Staring at the wall is like a displacement activity. I am torn between hiding from the world and becoming a vegetable on the one hand and realizing my potential and be the big brained monkey I am on the other.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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01-17-2017, 01:46 AM
Post: #15
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
A little less conversation, a little more action.

Knowing how I am somehow binary in getting work done, either all in or nothing depending on how much the task gets my mind going, it boils all done to self discipline for me. But discipline is also not one of my strong points at the moment. So instead of banging my head against the same wall over and over again, I'll try something different.

It's a concept borrowed and slightly modified from the edge. I'll call it incremental discipline. Works like this: to overcome my tendency to sleep too long into the day I'll put my alarm to a comfortably late time. It goes off, I'll get out of my bed without remorse. Next day my alarm is set to 5 minutes earlier, the day after that another 5 minutes earlier and so on until I get to a wake up time that suits my self.

Positive One: no resistance.
Positive Two: it's habit forming.

Same with work stuff which does not interest me much but has to be done. Today I'll work on it for 10 minutes. No biggie. Tomorrow I'll work 15 minutes on it. Easy. Repeat incremental increase until the task is done or I have a stable and extended work time.

Accepting this weak point of mine and doing something about it. Nice.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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01-21-2017, 02:50 AM
Post: #16
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
Been holed up the past few days and ordered myself a cut from all networks.

It's nice to go dark from all digital for some days from time to time. Well, it resulted in a friend coming knocking at my door today and ringing the phone on and on. While I appreciate the concern it bugs me at the same time. I don't owe it to anybody to be on call at any given time. But it made me feel guilty quite a bit. Why the heck do I feel guilty about it? It's not like I made a mistake or tried to hide for another reason just pure and simple peace of mind by taking a break. Why guilt?

No matter why, although I'd like to understand, it has to go away.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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01-22-2017, 09:42 AM
Post: #17
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
Slowly I am feeling like I get my ability to reach for new branches of the tree of knowledge, plucking new leaves, back. The past years it seemed as if I was no longer able to thirst for new input. Not as if I knew everything there is to know, but as if my cup was full. So full that I that nothing new could be added. The gathered knowledge got more and more stale but still there was no space for something fresh.

I am in need of a bigger cup. And I will get it.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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Yesterday, 02:08 AM
Post: #18
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
I am really unfolding my antennae again. I am reaching back into evidence based and not so evidence based fringe science and am able to wrap my mind around it. Ever since I forced myself to exclusively concentrate on one thing/goal I lost this sense of wonder and my explorer side. BASE was the final deathblow to my adventurous self ever since I started it in 2014. It never came back. Until now.

I have come to understand that I cannot solely work on one single thing alone. I need variety. If I shut down this variety seeking side, everything becomes stale and dull and finally I don't see a point in going on with this single goal. Now that it is coming back, I feel a pull to get back on track with my overarching mission.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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Yesterday, 11:11 AM
Post: #19
RE: Sunshine ♚ Raz digs AM
[Image: giphy.gif]

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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