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The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
01-09-2017, 10:38 PM
Post: #81
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
Atta boy, Ben , that's good *****
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Benjamin
01-09-2017, 10:42 PM (This post was last modified: 01-09-2017 11:20 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #82
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
It seems at the moment girls aren't sure how to respond, but also i'm not being persistent enough.

I've been getting moments where i'll just see a girl and want to go for her, in the supermarket there was one and I walked near her a few times but didn't do anything. Then somehow when I was on the self serve checkouts she appeared on the one next to me.

I was like "do you know the special codes so it spits out money" and she looked at me in a weird way and I think she said something really quietly. In that moment I thought she was actually a little retarded the way she responded. But I did open a door for a few people at maccas later on and she was one of them and she said thanks normally, and she showed recognition of "oh it's that guy again". So it seems she just didn't know what to do at the time but something makes me think they are responding badly and don't persist with these strange reactions i'm getting.

In maccas waiting to get a served, a sexy girl was sitting down close. And she was giving me a pretty direct look when I was standing there, and again and I made strong eye contact and she very obviously went submissive and looked down and in that moment I was like "mmm that's pretty obvious" where in the past I may have discounted it.

Even better, after I ordered I sat in the chair next to her and was like "are you taking macdonalds selfies" and she barely answered, then I said something else and she barely answered and just kept playing with her phone and I was like like "huh.. that is weird after how she was staring". I wanted to persist but something was stopping me.

But despite that, these actions i'm taking are a step above what i've done for ages, and several of these girls i've been talking to are more attractive than i'd usually talk to. So it seems i'm getting to that point then they are reacting a little strangely and then fear comes up stopping me from talking more.

Also I went into a chemist and there was one sexy girl by herself with headphones. I wanted to talk to her because she was sexy and by herself, but I was drawn towards these 2 other girls in another aisle.. but because of fear I didn't consider it. They seemed to be staring and when I walked past they started giggling.

What I feel DMSI is doing is focusing me on certain girls over others and i'm just choosing to go for those ones instead of trying to talk to 'all of them' like in the past.

But ***** if I know what these weird reactions have been. I probably haven't talked to enough to really say, but it seems different than in the past.. like initially they just can't talk like those girls in bikinis I mentioned the other day who only started answering when I had already walked past... like it's taking them longer to be able to process it and come up with a response and weird looks i'm getting.

The other thing is some girls that will walk past i'll be making strong eye contact and they seem to obviously go out of their way to put space between us and walk around me.

EDIT: The other thing is, even today which is my day off the gym this morning I had a strong urge to go and workout. I didn't because I know I need recovery and i'll be doing the next 3 days, 2 of them the gym and one a group fitness class.

Oh and I went to the doctor to get a form to get my testosterone tested. For some reason he strongly tried to discourage me, first saying it's only for people 50+ or that there should be a medical reason or whatever, then asked if i'm doing it because i'm on steriods and then "if there's not a medical reason then there's an out of pocket cost". And I said "that's fine, I want it for my own interest" he was like "err ok" and finally wrote a thing and told me about it. I asked him the price and he had no ***** idea, so pretty useless paying like $50 for that. But it was strange why he would try so hard to discourage me to even take the test even when I kept saying it's for my own interest to see if it changes from what i'm doing and he was even trying to discourage that. WTF, atleast I persisted and he wrote out a request form but still told me since it's not medical there will be a cost to me. I'm going to have to ring up the people that do it at the doctors because he wasn't very helpful at all.

I hope I don't have to go back to him and pay for another appointment just to get the results.
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01-10-2017, 05:06 AM
Post: #83
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
(01-09-2017 10:42 PM)Benjamin Wrote:  It seems at the moment girls aren't sure how to respond, but also i'm not being persistent enough.

I've been getting moments where i'll just see a girl and want to go for her, in the supermarket there was one and I walked near her a few times but didn't do anything. Then somehow when I was on the self serve checkouts she appeared on the one next to me.

I was like "do you know the special codes so it spits out money" and she looked at me in a weird way and I think she said something really quietly. In that moment I thought she was actually a little retarded the way she responded. But I did open a door for a few people at maccas later on and she was one of them and she said thanks normally, and she showed recognition of "oh it's that guy again". So it seems she just didn't know what to do at the time but something makes me think they are responding badly and don't persist with these strange reactions i'm getting.

In maccas waiting to get a served, a sexy girl was sitting down close. And she was giving me a pretty direct look when I was standing there, and again and I made strong eye contact and she very obviously went submissive and looked down and in that moment I was like "mmm that's pretty obvious" where in the past I may have discounted it.

Even better, after I ordered I sat in the chair next to her and was like "are you taking macdonalds selfies" and she barely answered, then I said something else and she barely answered and just kept playing with her phone and I was like like "huh.. that is weird after how she was staring". I wanted to persist but something was stopping me.

But despite that, these actions i'm taking are a step above what i've done for ages, and several of these girls i've been talking to are more attractive than i'd usually talk to. So it seems i'm getting to that point then they are reacting a little strangely and then fear comes up stopping me from talking more.

Also I went into a chemist and there was one sexy girl by herself with headphones. I wanted to talk to her because she was sexy and by herself, but I was drawn towards these 2 other girls in another aisle.. but because of fear I didn't consider it. They seemed to be staring and when I walked past they started giggling.

What I feel DMSI is doing is focusing me on certain girls over others and i'm just choosing to go for those ones instead of trying to talk to 'all of them' like in the past.

But ***** if I know what these weird reactions have been. I probably haven't talked to enough to really say, but it seems different than in the past.. like initially they just can't talk like those girls in bikinis I mentioned the other day who only started answering when I had already walked past... like it's taking them longer to be able to process it and come up with a response and weird looks i'm getting.

The other thing is some girls that will walk past i'll be making strong eye contact and they seem to obviously go out of their way to put space between us and walk around me.

EDIT: The other thing is, even today which is my day off the gym this morning I had a strong urge to go and workout. I didn't because I know I need recovery and i'll be doing the next 3 days, 2 of them the gym and one a group fitness class.

Oh and I went to the doctor to get a form to get my testosterone tested. For some reason he strongly tried to discourage me, first saying it's only for people 50+ or that there should be a medical reason or whatever, then asked if i'm doing it because i'm on steriods and then "if there's not a medical reason then there's an out of pocket cost". And I said "that's fine, I want it for my own interest" he was like "err ok" and finally wrote a thing and told me about it. I asked him the price and he had no ***** idea, so pretty useless paying like $50 for that. But it was strange why he would try so hard to discourage me to even take the test even when I kept saying it's for my own interest to see if it changes from what i'm doing and he was even trying to discourage that. WTF, atleast I persisted and he wrote out a request form but still told me since it's not medical there will be a cost to me. I'm going to have to ring up the people that do it at the doctors because he wasn't very helpful at all.

I hope I don't have to go back to him and pay for another appointment just to get the results.



Have you considered the fact that you turn them on so much they dont know how to respond to you or are just lost in your sexual aura?

Maybe look into your own past as to how you might have reacted when a hot female started talking to you and how you responded? You might find the answer there.

I know how I was before in the presence of a sexy ass female and being lost for words or just being shy, introverted, self-consicous.

You maybe so ***** sexy for them that they are lost for words and you need to keep pushing to make them feel more comfortable and give them a chance so to speak. Maybe they dont know that they have a chance with a guy like you.

You ever considered that?
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01-10-2017, 04:31 PM
Post: #84
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
Damn, no I didn't actually think of that Smile I just figured it had 'something' to do with DMSI since it started then.

I can see that the issue is my own fear coming up and assuming the negative about their response. Because the one yesterday in maccas the way she looked down was really obvious but then when I talked to her she's just like "err look at phone" haha.

It will improve as I adjust to it. E2 helped with some things around girls definately, but the whole time on it I had no desire to really talk to new girls especially in public and now i'm getting the urge to again. The next step is to persist a little longer.
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FREAK4LIFE
01-10-2017, 04:38 PM (This post was last modified: 01-10-2017 04:38 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #85
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
Dreams last night that confuse me because I have no idea how they are related to the DMSI goals.

One was about my cousin, well he's my cousin by marriage but has been around since I was a kid. I had a dream about him, can't remember the specifics but I woke up thinking about him and how when I seen him at my grandmas funeral at the after thing that he wanted me to sit down with him but then just wouldn't talk much even when I was asking him stuff and I found it unusual.

I think other dreams about other people that were similar, but I can't remember now.

But again I woke up and looked out the window and things looked slightly different and similar to when that happened last week I just walked outside and enjoyed the atmosphere and getting some fresh air.

The desire for work today is lower, but the desire to just go outside in nature is higher. I just looked outside and want to go sit out there but instead I know it's best to get some more work done. I can go outside later after the gym.
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01-11-2017, 06:10 PM (This post was last modified: 01-11-2017 08:56 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #86
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
This new aggression seems to be becoming a little more natural. Like today I woke up feeling good and thinking "I feel strangely calm today" but then when I seen comments from idiots on facebook I get annoyed and instantly have to confront those comments.

And I don't feel comfortable just ignoring them, it's kind of like if I ignore them it eats at me, but when I confront it then it feels like it's 'released' for lack of better term. That i'm pushed to express it then I can let it go, instead of being like "oh nah i'll pretend it's not there".

Honestly I like this much better than the whole 'just let it fly' thing on E2 and it makes me feel alot stronger in myself. Of course it has to be balanced, and some things i've actually realized "There's no point arguing with this person". But i'm pretty happy how i'm confronting things, and hope it extends to in person more too. Though I haven't been able to test that yet, as the things you see online you don't really hear as much in person. So I haven't really come across situations where i've wanted to say something.

I woke up today not feeling that good, wondering if I did something wrong. And I wondered if my visualizing my ideal body has been affecting DMSI, because I did it longer last night as i've been in the habit of it for a few years and Shannon said it's okay while I was doing AM and today I feel like I woke up and it had disrupted DMSI a little. Then I had the thought that DMSI is full on driving me to go hard at the gym, take on an exercise class on top of my normal workout so it obviously has an image in mind of what i'm going towards physically so I could just stop this visualization but it's hard to after it being such a habit. Could that be affecting it Shannon even though it was fine on AM6? I didn't even think until last night as i've been doing it so long and it didn't seem to have a negative affect.

Anyway, possibly the feelings when I got up were simply normal tired feelings when I just get up seeing that the assertiveness kicked in when it was needed.

The drive to work on other stuff isn't as strong as the first week unfortunately, and it's harder to focus. But it's like the baseline increased and i'm doing more work every day than I was before DMSI.
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01-12-2017, 12:43 AM (This post was last modified: 01-12-2017 12:49 AM by Benjamin.)
Post: #87
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
Cool, so even though today I had some doubts and potential excuses and I was like "hmm i'm not sure" I still just went to the exercise class tonight even though in the morning i'll be doing qigong and then going to the gym early as i'm seeing the girl from POF in the afternoon.

This was interesting. At first there was just the same women as last time. And they kind of ignored me a bit when I said something, notably the least attractive one (by far) was the one who was ignoring me the most. I wasn't interested in any of them or her especially, I was mainly being polite and joining in on the conversation.

Then funnily enough these 2 sexy milfs with good bodies come in. They signed in and I forgot that I didn't and I went over and talked to them, one made a joke that her friend had too much vodka before coming to workout and i'm like "oh how much vodka" and she was laughing like "quite a bit" and I said "that'll make the workout more fun" and they both responded well and were smiling unlike the less attractive ones.

So the unattractive one ignores me, the attractive ones are happy to talk. Hmm.

And also in the workout at the end of some exercises the instructor gets you to high five. The unattractive one was weird about it, but one of the milfs happily come over several times and gave me a big high five.

And interestingly also I was more unsure with the initial women but when the milfs come in I was just drawn over to them and to talk to them.

And funny just on facebook, someone posted a photo of a new tv. And some girl was making retarded comments saying that maybe men wanting a big tv is overcompensating because something else is small. Retarded but I decided to just have fun with it.

I'm like "So does this mean if you have a really small tv you have an incredibly large penis" and she tries to go into bitch mode "So i'm assuming your tv is 120 inch". And i'm like "121.5 inches not including the cardboard I put around it to make it look bigger" and she goes "they always try to make it look bigger" with a smiley face.

I was considering commenting about wonder bras and stuff aswell that girls wear and how it's the same. Or just continue joking like "using pairs of socks? Just don't put it down the back or it looks wrong".

The way she responded threw me a bit and I don't know if it's fear or a blockage, but looking at her photos and such she strikes me as somebody who would just annoy me and I don't have much desire to continue the conversation because it will probably just be her trying to come up with more shit. I pretty much just closed the window because I don't want to bother to continue it.
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01-12-2017, 01:45 AM (This post was last modified: 01-12-2017 02:55 AM by Benjamin.)
Post: #88
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
Hmm, i'll see if I can explain this. It's definately related to how my mindset is shifting from DMSI and how i'm perceiving things differently. It feels pretty natural, but it's a distinct shift.

Most of this realization come from interacting with this weight loss group online.

To sum it up it all amounts to "Feel good *****".

First thing is the group is way more women than guys which probably adds to the bs. I've upset 1 or 2 women by being direct and strong in my opinions, where they have no actual experience to back up their opinions other than their 'feelings' and I have several years experience of it.

And the person running it just made a post...

Quote: I shouldn't really have to post this for the second time now as we're all adults but please keep your negative comments to yourself.

Everyone's weight loss journey is DIFFERENT, some use shakes, that's okay, some have supplements, that's okay. Just because you don't agree does not mean you need to force that opinion on people.

THINK before you comment - have they asked for your opinion? Is it constructive? And is it positive?

Can anybody say retarded? So if somebody is doing stupid shit that I KNOW won't work from experience, a ton of research and seeing it way too many times and I warn them off it and instead direct them towards a better solution.. oh nooo you're being negative and you might hurt their feelings, even though if what they are doing is incredibly ***** stupid and will only waste their time and money?

I believe it's partly aimed at me because of the couple of arguments I had and that I actually posted an article I wrote where I said that somebody told me I shouldn't shame somebody for doing something that can potentially help them and said "that is the stupidity I heard today" and I continued that every way of losing weight is NOT just as good, that directing someone off a certain way is NOT shaming and that she pulled that out of nowhere because of her feelings.

And I ended it with some good advice on weight loss.

Funnily enough NOBODY replied to it. But then this post appears "oh don't be negative you might hurt feelings, if they didn't ask for advice about the shakes or weight loss pills then don't be negative.

And since alot of my posts were warning people off just relying on pills and shakes it's most likely directed at me and maybe another guy who posted a meme about weight loss shakes and people sooked about it. I say that because I haven't seen many other people telling them the shakes aren't sustainable for long term.

Instead most of the comments amount to stupid ***** like "you go girl" and supporting them no matter what, must not tell them the truth because 'feelings'.

And also of course it's not dealt with directly, just a post about "don't be negative and hurt their feelings" in general.

And she's going on about "If you don't agree, then don't comment". Right now with my mindset on DMSI I can't think of something that is any weaker than that, not that i'm saying to indiscriminantly tell your opinion all the time. But the whole "if somebody is doing something incredibly stupid, stay positive and don't tell them your opinion". That whole mindset is pissing me off right now. I want to say to her "To you want positivity all the time, or do you want results?" but it will achieve nothing.

That about sums it up. It's pissing me off and is also GOOD because it's a sign of a distinct shift in my mindset that at the same time feels like it just happened pretty naturally.

I have to try to balance it, because the group is pretty massive and a great potential resource for me with weight loss coaching. But with my mindset and directness on DMSI I don't know how long it will be until people whinge.

Definately a difference from my mindset on E2.
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Have at ye
01-12-2017, 01:55 AM
Post: #89
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
It's like the saying goes: "pearls before swine". Big Grin
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Benjamin, eternity
01-12-2017, 03:20 AM
Post: #90
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
Man that was a rant haha. I mainly posted it to show how my mindset is shifting in a more aggressive way.

The thing is I want to help these people so it's learning to be able to communicate it in a way they will get it.

What's interesting is this same mindset that is upsetting the women in this group is the same mindset that gets women turned on. But in the case of giving advice it may cause them to shut down a little.

That's the learning to balance it part that we've all seen on AM and i'm now seeing on DMSI.
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eternity, Have at ye
01-12-2017, 03:57 AM
Post: #91
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
Welcome to my world. Working on the weight loss sub, I think that is what made me bald. More than a decade of dealing with "Help me lose weight!" Followed by sabotaging the results and gaining even more weight.

The thing is, most people are overweight because there is an emotional component to their personality driving them to gain weight seeking security in some way. When you try to argue logic, it is not comprehended because they are not thinking with logic. They think with their feelings, which are by nature irrational.

They want to have it all. Eat unlimited calories, do nothing, have a perfect body. They want to believe the lie that all they have to do is pop a pill. They eat for comfort, and they pop a pill for comfort in dealing with the consequences of eating for comfort. Doing what it really takes to lose or prevent weight... that's not comfortable!

Which makes them want to seek comfort. And how do they do that? By eating...

So you see, telling them how to lose weight is an issue because they don't want to lose weight. They want to feel good. Self control, taking responsibility for their level of intake vs burn, exercising... these things don't feel good! What part of that don't you get?

Inevitably, you can know what a person really wants by observing what they have - and what they're doing about it.

Stop arguing logic to irrational thinkers.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.)
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eternity, Have at ye, RTBoss, apollolux, Benjamin
01-12-2017, 05:24 AM
Post: #92
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
This is what happens any time a woman is involved in a group. She wants to tame it, make it all about her "feelings." I'm part of a number of men's only masterminds and mentorship groups for this very reason. The moment we'd let women in, they'd go about dismantling it with their BS focus on "feelings" over results.

[INTP] | “‘Tis true without lying, certain and most true. That which is below is like that which is above and that which is above is like that which is below.” – Isaac Newton
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01-12-2017, 08:09 AM
Post: #93
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
(01-12-2017 05:24 AM)chaosvrgn Wrote:  This is what happens any time a woman is involved in a group. She wants to tame it, make it all about her "feelings." I'm part of a number of men's only masterminds and mentorship groups for this very reason. The moment we'd let women in, they'd go about dismantling it with their BS focus on "feelings" over results.

With this I would disagree. It's not just a female thing. People in general tend to do this, as human beings in general are irrational - men just tend to mask it differently, or come up with different sorts of excuses.

Females are as capable of self-mastery as males.
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01-12-2017, 09:01 AM
Post: #94
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
(01-12-2017 08:09 AM)Have at ye Wrote:  
(01-12-2017 05:24 AM)chaosvrgn Wrote:  This is what happens any time a woman is involved in a group. She wants to tame it, make it all about her "feelings." I'm part of a number of men's only masterminds and mentorship groups for this very reason. The moment we'd let women in, they'd go about dismantling it with their BS focus on "feelings" over results.

With this I would disagree. It's not just a female thing. People in general tend to do this, as human beings in general are irrational - men just tend to mask it differently, or come up with different sorts of excuses.

Females are as capable of self-mastery as males.

lol. We will respectfully agree to disagree.

[INTP] | “‘Tis true without lying, certain and most true. That which is below is like that which is above and that which is above is like that which is below.” – Isaac Newton
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01-13-2017, 03:29 AM (This post was last modified: 01-13-2017 03:30 AM by Benjamin.)
Post: #95
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
Quote:Welcome to my world.....

Yep, one idi.. woman on there told me that I was 'shaming' somebody when seriously all I said is that without developing the long term habits that shakes are going to be temporary. She seriously pulled 'shaming' out of her ass because it was nothing of the kind.

And then a "you don't know them, don't judge them, it works for some" with all my points going over their head. I realized after what happend and your post that instead of trying to 'convert' the ones like that and convince them instead just present my experience and learnings which will naturally attract the people open to it.

Quote:This is what happens any time a woman is involved in a group. She wants to tame it, make it all about her "feelings." I'm part of a number of men's only masterminds and mentorship groups for this very reason. The moment we'd let women in, they'd go about dismantling it with their BS focus on "feelings" over results.

Yep I feel that was one of the issues, I personally can't see a group that is run by a guy coming in and telling me that simply telling someone that weight loss shakes are just temporary unless they have everything else in order is 'negative' and that i'm only allowed to support them because... (I have no ***** idea because she really had no argument).

But I also have to learn how to communicate it to them in the right way, or atleast as I said find the ones that are open and not waste time arguing with the ones who just want to 'feel' like they might be achieving something.
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01-13-2017, 05:01 AM
Post: #96
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
(01-13-2017 04:29 AM)Benjamin Wrote:  I don't know, it was strange that I was like "I don't know how i'll go seeing 1 girl one night then another the next night if this one stays". Then the one I usually see cancels.

It sounds like you are complaining. LOL
This is what DMSI is all about!! Getting more sex, more often!!
Play it cool and maybe you'll be having a ménage à trois with both of them.

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Benjamin
01-13-2017, 05:15 AM
Post: #97
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
Hahaha, well it's a good 'problem' to have. I'd prefer a few days inbetween as usually when I see a girl i'm worn out from a fair bit of sex. Especially since the one i've been seeing lives a while away.

A 3some would be good, never had one.
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01-13-2017, 10:32 AM (This post was last modified: 01-13-2017 04:14 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #98
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
Holy ****. I had the most disturbing dream ever. With all the healing ive done with other methods and subliminals this disturbed me more than any dream I remember having.

It feels like it went for ages. I was in the house I lived as a kid upstairs in my parents bed but at the age I am now. A woman was in it I recognized as someone I seen briefly. Somehow she changed my paypal to her email and got access to all the money in my bank. Then showed up but I was hiding in my parents bed upstairs covered up. Note that comes to mind - ive always slept with covers over my head and cant sleep without it since I was a kid.

She was mad at me and I was hiding. Eventually I got up then got back into bed to talk to her as somehow she was laying there. She said she got some kind of article from paypal and they were now sending her my stuff to her address cos she put her email in.

Then she showed me these tattoos all over her body that were somehow from paypal but also from someone else who was making death threats. The one that stands out is an outline of a body like a chalk outline with a quote anout going to die or something.

Next minute im going back up the stairs and shes dressed and packing and looking disturbed. Theres a dead guy in the bed and somehow I knew some other woman that was there that she may have invited I think randomly rang a number to meet guys for sex then he showed up and got killed.

She said she was leaving and im like "what about my money" and she told me after that she needs it to live and im like "but what about me" and "cant you atleasy send me half" but no.

Then it changed me to coming up the stairs and the door was still open with the disturbing view of the dead guy. And my mum was in the other room crying and lacking up because after that we couldn't live there anymore. I sat with her briefly then went to pack up my room. But I had no boxes to put clothes in.

I went into the opposite room which was my sisters room as a kid. But was represented in the dream as my parents room though upstairs was their room for real as a kid.

My mum had boxes and the room was full of ralph polo lauren shirts that may have been my dads (wtf hes far from wearing anything like that).

I asked for boxes but couldn't find any and somehow had a thought we were moving to our second house that we somehow owned in the dream.

I woke up ***** disturbed. Then realized I laid there a bit feeling numb and then noticed I was laying there awake.

Went to the toilet then opened the lounge sliding door for air and even wanted to go outside but its cold. I wanted to cry but couldnt but had tears trying to form.

Then went back to bed and laid a bit with my eyes open then ipened the window and sat at the end of my bed getting air. Stl wanting to cry but couldn't. Feeling very disturbed but strangely no sweat like ive had waking up from other healing type dreams and not feeling fear in my body in a recognizable way. Just feeling extremelt disturbed is the best way to put it and now I feel slightly sick.

I feel like I cant sleep now and had to come write it up because it hit me as a pretty big dream with how disturbed it got me. I still wish I could cry.. feel sick. My hands kind of just want to shake. Damn.

Sidenote I woke up fearing having random sex and some fears about the girl yesterday. And thinking about how im going to get depressed for some reason though things are starting to go good. And I also had thoughts that I can never use DMSI after this because I dont want to feel like this so I should stop. (Im not entertaining them just reporting.)

Any ideas on meanings Shannon?
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Aventus45
01-13-2017, 12:22 PM
Post: #99
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
Well obviously something deep is being dealt with... beyond that, I am unfortunately too tired right now to try to work out some sort of interpretation.

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01-13-2017, 04:55 PM (This post was last modified: 01-13-2017 04:57 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #100
RE: The Beast Is Back! (DMSI 3.0.1a)
Yes definately, after I calmed down I slept pretty well. A few other dreams but I can't remember.

I did wake up feeling horny like something was kicking in briefly, but then the old "oh this is good" then my mind trying to let it go and it went. But it briefly had this feeling that it could have potentially built up to just being really horny and wanting to ravage someone.

Today i'm just feeling tired, though I went to bed later than usual so that could be part of it.

The other thing is I have the urge to just stay at home and do nothing, or play games or something. No urge to work on the things i've been working on this week but instead to take a few days off that and distract myself. I'd say that goes along with whatever is coming up.

Sitting here since I got up, every now and then I notice a subtle sadness kind of behind my eyes. Similar to how I felt after the dream but not as strong now.
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