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DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
12-20-2016, 12:54 PM
Post: #21
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
This is the first time in a long time that I've missed a day of posting. I honestly just haven't been in the mood for posting or interacting much with this community.

I set foot in my parents house yesterday with a complete and utter lack of fear. My anxiety rocketed up a little bit when my dad came home, I recognized that these were simply old patterns and I am now an adult who can handle these things.

He's been clean of drinking for the last 4 or 5 months - the first time in the 30 years of marriage my mother has had with him. I'm genuinely proud of him. My mom is the same old woman she was before, narcissistic to the core, but she's at least pleasant to be around.

I wasn't dealt a bad card in life, it's just taken me time to understand how much I have going for me. I'm in quite the sentimental mood if you couldn't tell Tongue

Along with the reduction of fear and anxiety I feel that I've tapped into my masculinity in a way I never have before. I never had teen years filled with experimentation or rebellion because both were dealt with physical punishment. The message my unconscious heard is "it's bad to be yourself."

I've been expressing myself more openly now, not with a lack of fear and anxiety, but working through fear and anxiety when it arises. Angry, Depressed, Happy, Sad - I'm just being me.

Dreams

Last night while listening to DMSI and half-asleep I got this insane fear reaction centered in my heart. In my dream I was yelling out for someone to take the pain away. This woman came into my dream and I was screaming at her to yank out my heart, but she just stood there and looked at me. Finally I grabbed her hand and put it inside my chest and she grabbed my heart and pulled it out. I finally felt some relief and was content with having a void where my heart should be. Except I could still feel the energies of my heart, they weren't gone.

Today my heart is very open. It's just flowing full of love and positivity.

If anyone wants to be a Joseph and interpret that dream feel free, I have no ***** clue what it means.
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12-20-2016, 01:47 PM
Post: #22
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
(12-20-2016 12:54 PM)Bookstacks DC737 Wrote:  Dreams

Last night while listening to DMSI and half-asleep I got this insane fear reaction centered in my heart. In my dream I was yelling out for someone to take the pain away. This woman came into my dream and I was screaming at her to yank out my heart, but she just stood there and looked at me. Finally I grabbed her hand and put it inside my chest and she grabbed my heart and pulled it out. I finally felt some relief and was content with having a void where my heart should be. Except I could still feel the energies of my heart, they weren't gone.

Today my heart is very open. It's just flowing full of love and positivity.

If anyone wants to be a Joseph and interpret that dream feel free, I have no ***** clue what it means.

couldn't tell if you were being sarcastic or not, but i'll assume that you were being serious and i'll give you my opinion on what the dream meant.

a woman taking out your heart: sounds like heartbreak due to women
you forcing her to take out your heart: sounds like women broke your heart but you were the cause of it and the one to blame.
void in heart: broken heart has been removed

____

from what i understand, the heart area activity is pretty common for us during 3.0.1a. I personally just had a physical pain in my heart like 20 min ago while listening to this sub. deep and intense clearing of the heart and things that are related to the heart (emotions, etc)

Confused ENFP

............c__c......................................g__g
......e__e.....o__o...........................n__n.....!__!
b__b................m__m................i__i...............!__!
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12-20-2016, 07:16 PM
Post: #23
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
Yeah I was being serious and thank you very much for your explanation! That matches exactly the situations that are happening at present.

I'm also in the process of completing my wardrobe. Got a few new pants, shirts and jackets Smile

A woman messaged me on Tinder on the 13th... a whole 4 months after I sent my original message lol. Speaking to her the aura projects and autopilot takes over.

i can now feel the aura projecting off of. me, where as before I was only healing.
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12-20-2016, 11:25 PM (This post was last modified: 12-20-2016 11:29 PM by Bookstacks DC737.)
Post: #24
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
Date this Thursday:
[Image: 4iFcqyhm.jpg]

Two possible prospects from Tinder as well.

Not trying anything, not following any models or guides, just doing whatever comes naturally. This is actually fun now, where as before it felt like work.
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eternity, Aventus45, Benjamin, Kol, Mr. Anderson
12-21-2016, 02:00 PM
Post: #25
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
I'm seeing some hints that I'm coming out of exclusively healing. People seem more courteous to me, getting strange prolonged stares from women, etc. I don't think I'm 100% healed, but DMSI has at least removed enough garbage that I can run part of the program. Yippee!

Last night was a pretty emotionally involved dream where I was a child, pleading with my mom to take care of me, but she just kept going back to my alchoholic father. It seems that I accepted it, cried what there was left to cry about, then felt a void in myself. Not a negative void, but detached emotionally I suppose.

And I shed a tear last night thinking of how much I love my siblings.

Could be DMSI, could be the medications I'm on. As of right now I feel that the Wellbutrin is giving me energy, and the other two meds I'm taking are on very low doses. Hopefully by the tail end of January or Early February I'll be able to discontinue them. That's also when DMSI 3.2 is coming out, so double whammy!
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eternity
12-22-2016, 08:32 AM (This post was last modified: 12-22-2016 08:32 AM by Bookstacks DC737.)
Post: #26
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
I think the universe is trying to tell me something Rolleyes
[Image: VkoFn07l.jpg]

Have to confirm my date for today. Have no idea how to lead a woman through a whole date so I'll be learning that and just winging shit. **** it, you know?

Also many more Tinder matche I have to Set dates with.. Cashiers and employees still extra courteous. No real IOIs that I can see from regular women.

Seems that I'm manifesting more and more positive scenarios in my life.

Case in point: helped a neighbor out yesterday and he let me go wild on his food stamps card and I picked up $150/250 limit he gave me. My gas+ some extra cash will also be given to me with his first paycheck. Not too bad, not too bad at allTongue

I also have a burning desire to continue exercising which I will certainly indulge.

Desire to continue becoming a better chef constant and increasing.

Becoming more and more fearless in my presentation of self, expressing full range of emotions etc.

I have a pretty solid group of friends as well. I leave my house at least once a day, if only for 30 minute, just to establish that habit. Often though I'll be pulled into some late night adventure with neighbors and other friends. This really only started happening after DMSI 3.0.

Finally cleaned my ***** room! After all this time! Well it's not sparkling clean, but before you could barely see the floor. Same with the car. Just a dedicated 15-30 mins and I'll have cleaned out both to a great degree.
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12-22-2016, 04:06 PM
Post: #27
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
Hahaha
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12-22-2016, 11:36 PM (This post was last modified: 12-22-2016 11:44 PM by Bookstacks DC737.)
Post: #28
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
Date with J got cancelled because "her car is having problems" and she wanted me to drive 45 mins to go pick her up. Nah Bruh.

I ended up going to NewPort Beach instead with 3 friends. My alchohol and drug consumption has like tripled at least. I've gone 3+ months without a drop of alchohol and a whole year without marijuana. Now both seem to be a constant. I can tell the healing is hitting at something very deep because this is way out of character

I keep re-experiencing emotions related to past trauma, emotions I've managed to dutifully stomp out and repress. I had no ***** idea the amount of baggage that I had repressed. But I'm truly expressing these things now - before I could only think of them and no emotion was associated. Feeling things often lead to punishment, and I didn't have time to process a daily barrage of physical and mental put downs.

But now they're coming out like a flood.

One emotion in particular was this toxic neediness, like needing female approval and a willingness to do absolutely ANYTHING to get it. I felt that today for about 30 minutes, then it dissipated.

I have also begun EMDR therapy officially - so my results are certainly invalid. From what I've learned of the therapy it works on the deepest part of the brain and nervous system, just like the trauma release exercises. I believe this treatment has to be completed forms to experience full results. I keep shutting down and am unable to do many basic things without exerting a lot of effort and concentration. I'm not sure if DMSI is able to target and heal these wounds by itself.

In January I should be discontinuing one medication. Depending on how the rest of my treatment goes I may be able to discontinue a second one in February.
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FREAK4LIFE
12-23-2016, 08:01 AM
Post: #29
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
So, Bookstacks... what is doing what?

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.)
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12-23-2016, 10:21 AM
Post: #30
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
(12-23-2016 08:01 AM)Shannon Wrote:  So, Bookstacks... what is doing what?

From what I can tell the Wellbutrin is increasing my levels of emotion and DMSI's healing is bringing more stuff to the forefront. The Wellbutrin is certainly interfering with my state shifting, especially as I've transferred to a higher dose.

The two medications I take for sleep have elimination periods of 6hs and 10-12hs so they're relatively done by the time I'm awake and moving - although they're also stored up in my body I would imagine.

I decided to not take Wellbutrin today because my naturally smooth communication became ***** last night and I couldn't spit proper game lol. I've taken activated charcoal as well to adsorb whatever parts of the medication may still actively be working.

I will report back with further information when I have it.

The plan for tonight is to rent a hotel and go clubbing with my neighbors - 1 guy, 2 girls. We'll be sharing a bed and I had an opportunity to see one of them, let's call her P, in her underwear and what looked like a various assortment of IOIs that I'm not clear on. We will see.
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12-24-2016, 09:48 AM (This post was last modified: 12-24-2016 09:51 AM by Bookstacks DC737.)
Post: #31
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
Okay here's the med report:

Off meds I see autopilot functioning and natural Seduction functioning. I was just completely on point in all my interactions for the day.

Didn't end up going to the hotel as one of the guys threw a temper tantrum at some of the staff here and was basically sent to his room lol. P got called into work and N went to turn up w/ her family.

Plan tomorrow is go to Big Bear, CA and sleep over at a woman I'm emotionally close to - like a mom. My day will probably be filled with adventuring and snowboarding which will be cool. The girl, J (it's actually S haha) well S works in Big Bear so conveniently ill get to see her on Monday.

My Wavy Life
I'm learning Spanish through the methods Gabriel Wyner suggested in his book Fluent Forever. I believe my unconscious thinks that I'll be sexist when I'm bilingualBig Grin Being California there are a lot of Latinas and knowing Spanish and learning about said culture would only be an advantage. Spanish is so widely spoken here as well that once I become partly proficient I can even do immersion style learning - which is the fastest way to learn.

Interest in working for charity as well, both out of the kindness of my heart and the awesomeness of my resume Tongue
Went Thrift Shopping for clothing + more interest in Yard Sales.

I have created a calendar of events for myself and I'm constantly adding shows/events and things of that nature in town so I never have an excuse for staying home.

Beginning to work out again quite hard. Only working out at home right now doing the basics.

Learning to program an app I have an idea for. Looking into the market of developers it wouldn't be impossible for me to get a job without a degree as long as I can show proficiency in a few key areas.

I'm finally off my **** PUA kick as well. I need some sort of linear structure to get the types of results I want. I now understand that confusion is a natural part of learning, and actions and experiences are the best teachers - not books and simple videos. With a more mature view and understanding of the PUA market I believe I can actually gain much use out of what I study now.

And coming from a more logical perspective with this stuff I can simply work on busting sticking points rather than following a bunch of advanced shit I'm not ready for.
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12-24-2016, 11:16 PM (This post was last modified: 12-24-2016 11:21 PM by Bookstacks DC737.)
Post: #32
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
Not sure if this has anything to do with DMSI or not, but it was some strange coincidences.

I was going up a mountain and through a series of complications had to go back down and then up again and then back down to my house. I was pissed off about the whole thing. Come to find out There's a 100+ cars STUCK in the snow. I would likely have been one of them.

Also I found some men who have good experiences with women who I will emulate/learn from. I honestly admit what I'm doing is not working. It's worked before and seemed like a great way of doing things. Now that I've increased my sample size I can see some huge holes.

I've embraced the fact that I need and work best with structure, I'm not trying to avoid being vulnerable with a plan. I decided to create flash cards to help me remember and utilize all the information I'll be taking in.

So that's that. My main focus is becoming more masculine - which DMSI has already been helping me with. I'm not leveraging my very real experiences. This year I've been homeless, abandoned by my own family, broke, become psychotic- you name it. And I'm scared of talking to a ***** girl? Nah bruh I can't let this continue. I'd rather fail and fail again than have this be a sticking point for another period of my life.

I feel like sometimes what I'm thinking and often say is just so far out of people's comprehension. "You don't have a family? How does a person not have a family?"

The second thing I'm doing is building an interesting life. DMSI has already initiated that process, but it took my mind some time to catch up. Yeah what's the point of pussy if my entire world is falling apart? Giving value to myself is another key.

Keeping it all simple is the best. People have been getting laid without PUA for eons. It's just meeting someone who's available, creating sexual tension, and helping her get past her social conditioning so you can duck her.
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12-25-2016, 08:24 AM (This post was last modified: 12-25-2016 10:47 AM by Bookstacks DC737.)
Post: #33
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
Two dreams last night, both related to my little sister:

First one is I'm carrying some clean dishes to where they need to go. As I'm passing by my little sister she refuses to move and I drop a plate. Every adult in the room (I'm assuming I'm young in this dream) immediately focuses on me and becomes angry with me. I try to blame it on my little sister but they won't believe me. She's their angel. Because of my dad threatening me to kick my ass I raise my fist and he raises his. But I'm small and he's an adult so I begin to backup into a corner. Dream ends.

The second one is me in my room toweling off when I get the strange sensation I'm being watched. My little sister is peeking at me through the door while I'm naked. I try to tell my parents again and they all become angry with me. Of course she couldn't and wouldn't do that. They all step into the room and close the door. My dad says I can tell him anything. That's just the other side of his mask: raging alchoholic and a charming manipulator. I'm probably getting my ass beat for sure. Dream ends.

If someone can interpret these for me it would be very welcome. The first one is almost completely true to life. Second one has happened in that she peeked at me constantly when I'd come out of the shower. I only ever told my mom and she didn't even believe me.

Edit: it makes an awful lot of sense that I've turned to alchohol and drugs during all of this. These were memories I had deeply repressed. I'm very impressed that DMSI tunneled that ***** deeply.

Today I have no craving for alchohol and drugs. Just sunshine, exercise and healthy foods.
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Shannon
12-26-2016, 02:32 PM (This post was last modified: 12-26-2016 02:38 PM by Bookstacks DC737.)
Post: #34
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
DMSI continues to tunnel deeply. I'm not sure what it's doing now, but I'm seeing old habitual responses change daily.

@House remaining clean.
@In general, procrastination is down by a lot.
@Trying out a new recipe tonight.
@Talked to my room mate about banging girls in the house - he's cool with it.
@Date with S delayed due to snow. Looking forward to snowboarding with her.
@Efforts to learn Spanish are continuing. I'm now learning how to use the flash card deck Anki to make learning more effective.
@Beginning the early stages of learning about becoming a Pharmacy Technician. They on average make anywhere from $13-17 dollars starting out. That's a 30-70% increase on minimum wage, which is all I can get as a student. I'm actively working on budgeting and my goal is financial independence.
@Getting passport photos taken soon. I plan to go to Columbia in 2017.

Last nights dream was actually somewhat positive. A strange mixture of elements.

I was staying at my friends house, where I crashed when I was kicked out of my parents house. I ask him if he wants to go to my house to play Xbox(?) He says yeah, but his car is too old and he doesn't want to drive it. His grandma pops up and then his older car is transformed into a pretty cool sports car. We drive to my house, go up the stairs and see my dad. He actually avoids eye contact with me and seems intimidated.

We set up the Xbox and play some games in my room. I'm freely expressing my love of video games and going into all sorts of nerdy topics. The rest of the dream was completely out of space and time - it's a bit hard to explain but I'll try.

I entered this period of the dream where things stopped happening linearly - the present and the future were being experienced at the same moment. I was feeling emotions from the whole period of time we were in my room, all my movements, all responses, smells, sounds and thoughts all at once. I believe parts of this was me experiencing pre-cognitions of knowing exactly what to say and do. I was just absolutely lost in the experience of what's going on.

I actually have some explanation of this one. The main one being I invited a friend into my room - my sanctuary of sorts - and was free to express myself, rather than trying to calibrate to everyone else. Losing myself is something I've found very difficult to do recently, so it shows I'm letting my guard down a bit.
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12-27-2016, 01:53 PM
Post: #35
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
Last Night

Saw Rogue One last night with some friends - loved it. I can understand it's criticisms, but I don't really see Star Wars as a movie to analyze. The visuals, music, references and humor were all on point and it was definitely a good use of 2 hours.

I love that DMSI generated a group of friends for me. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then experiences must be worth a million because it's one thing to learn to interact from a book, and a whole 'nother thing to actually interact with others. I can tell I'm calibrating more and more to other people again. Makes sense that DMSI would use this as a means to heal. I now have women in my life that I have little sexual interest in and can interact with little pressure.

Today

@I feel like an animal. Like a predator. Very physical, very dominant. It's reflecting in my language which is now more commanding than passive. I'm setting frames and leading rather than just falling into others frames.

@The healing is now triggering a physical effect in me. My legs are shaking like they do in Somatic Experiencing.

@Nailed a job interview today as well. I can't go into detail on the products we're selling but it seems to be a good fit for me. It's a new company that wants to expand. My job is basically customer service, but I'm going to provide as much value as I can and make as much money as I can. I HeartHeartHeart that there's a layer of flexibility in the job, that how much I'll be earning will be directly tied to my efforts.

Being a new company they want to attract and keep customers. I have no experience in this but I do have a lot of resources for learning about this kind of thing - then gain immediate feedback from customers. I'll also be seeing how a new company is managed and I can use that knowledge later when I begin my own business.

@My productivity is at least 2x what it was when I began this sub. I have what feels like a literal hunger to conquer my day and kill anything in my way. I feel incredible.

@My hygiene and self-care routine has increased. I'm working on whitening my teeth right now and I shower twice daily every day instead of just some days. I never leave the house looking ragged either, I always have a clean presentation when possible.

@DMSI seems to be focusing me on eliminating Candida. I've gotten rid of as many offending foods as possible and am using a regimine to kill off the candida. I'll be restocking probiotics sometime soon.
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12-27-2016, 04:35 PM
Post: #36
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
You doing Somatic Experiencing too?

I've done 5 sessions so far, it's definately interesting.
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Bookstacks DC737
12-27-2016, 11:07 PM
Post: #37
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
(12-27-2016 04:35 PM)Benjamin Wrote:  You doing Somatic Experiencing too?

I've done 5 sessions so far, it's definately interesting.

Yeah I've been pursuing it for about a year, but seems I forgot about it these past few months. I just had one of the best sessions of my life today, though. I was able to go through all the exercises for extended periods of time and finally felt the response where you just begin laughing as the body reduces stress.

I'll be adding it to my routine to combat what's left of the traumas I've experienced.

Tonight
Decided to do two loops of B tonight on a whim. Had some interesting results but came to the conclusion that besides healing just to execute the program, I would like to continue healing as much as humanly possible in addition to my therapy so I can finally get off all my medications safely.

I am 100% certain that all the medications are blocking DMSI's effects. The choice though would be: withdraw from medications and be unable to function but sexy, or experience some effects of DMSI while on medication with the eventual goal of getting off medication and experiencing all the effects in the next 4-6 weeks.

So tomorrow we're back to A.

Some of the effects of B:
@My heart felt very, very pained when I began my first loop.
@I've become emotionally aggressive and automatically putting myself first and projecting a very strong reality.
@I felt an extreme psychological hunger that was even more intense than on A, like I needed to do absolutely everything there is to be done because one day I'm going to be dead. Just this absolutely primal push towards life.
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12-28-2016, 12:42 AM
Post: #38
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
Are you saying you believe that the clearing and healing modules in A are going to get you to a point within 4 to 6 weeks where you can safely get off your meds for good?

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The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.)
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12-28-2016, 07:57 AM
Post: #39
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
(12-28-2016 12:42 AM)Shannon Wrote:  Are you saying you believe that the clearing and healing modules in A are going to get you to a point within 4 to 6 weeks where you can safely get off your meds for good?

I am speaking of therapy with a trauma specialist, Somatic Experiencing and learning effective coping skills. I want the assurance of well-researched and well tested methods that can completely eliminate my symptoms.

DMSI has done some incredible healing and clearing in the time I've used it, but as of right now it's not guaranteed it will completely release trauma.
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12-28-2016, 03:15 PM (This post was last modified: 12-28-2016 03:17 PM by Bookstacks DC737.)
Post: #40
RE: DMSI 3.01A - Back To The Grind
My Experiences From Today:

@My purpose drive seems to still be going up and up. I just busted a plateau for what I thought I could get done in a day and I'm ready to keep going.

@I just jogged two laps and did 3x 100km sprints at my college race track.

Few interesting things is that
A. I actually went out and did the damn thing
B. I wasn't stopped by my thoughts ("can I even be here when school is closed?") and
C. I completed my sprints to the best of my ability even though there were a few people around, and especially this cute black girl jogging on the football field.

I took my time, focused on proper form and exceeded my current comfort zone and then went home.

I had the thought pop up "what does that cute girl think of me? What if she thinks I'm a pussy for only doing a little running?" then experienced an immediate state shift of "who cares what she thinks of me? Do ya thang girl"

I'm really sourcing my value from myself and not from other people.

I'm embodying the part of the script that says "make yourself worthy of self-love." I'm not satisfied with my life at all and I can see all the recent efforts to get out of my house, planning and creating my desired future, seeking help, and doing what I can to help myself as being a result of that part of the scripting.

I can not and will not satisfy that part of the scripting until I know I'm doing 100% of what I should be doing and can be doing.

@ The way I've been experiencing women is changing. I think I'm in this sort of dead-zone/gray area between my old paradigm and a new one.

I think it was the first day I started DMSI and I was talking to a woman and my reality came into sharp focus. I was acting and speaking towards the thought of this woman and then the reality slapped me in the face. The dark bags under her eyes, the wrinkles on her face from the years spent partying - although she's only 4 years older than me.

Women are ***** ugly lol. Shockingly ugly. But I suppose that's part of the phase of growth I'm on. Spend a lifetime projecting an ideal on a group of people and growing out of it will do that to ya ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@ I believe the group of friends I manifested have an additional purpose besides just socializing: they are very quickly de-conditioning me.

**** the Red-Pill, go get some female friends who are completely open to speaking with you.

One of my friends was talking about how she was planning to **** her manager. She felt bad because he had a family, but it was his responsibility not hers, which I agreed. Then she spoke of how she met her old english teacher at her work and he'd given her his number and invited her over for dinner. As we were driving back from breakfast I remembered she said something about having a boyfriend.

"Oh yeah... I wanted to break up with him, but it was Christmas and he gave me a $200 jacket and if I break up with him now I'd probably have to return it."

I thought the whole thing was hilarious. It seems I've gotten rid of many feelings of helplessness towards the actions of women. I'm fully in tune with myself and what I want, there's no need to ask anything of any woman.

You gotta love it thoughTongue
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