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SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
12-03-2016, 10:16 AM
Post: #41
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
(12-03-2016 09:28 AM)robstar Wrote:  I dunno. Dealing with my life and my emotional/mental state being a wreck atm. Neglected certain aspects of my life for too long and it caught up to me.. there's smart hedonism and then there's the way I was living. Anyway it culminated in a big panic attack 2 months ago that landed me in the er thinking I was having a heart attack, chest pains and all. Ecg and blood test came back negative nonetheless I'm mow dealing with constant health anxiety despite having dealt with the issues that led to the first one. So I'm running E2 indefinitely, or if Shannon tells me that the healing in DMSI will also be effective in helping this, then I'll be on that straight away!

I can relate man. Not only have I been in the ER for the same thing multiple times, but now I'm nearing the end of a lot of things. I've been quite careless with my life and I'm finding it hard to reconcile things.

I'm really scared that I may truly end up homeless this time or worse.

I'm disappointed in my family but more so in myself. None of us have done anything to pull ourselves out of the mess we've made of our lives, and all my own personal success has all but evaporated as if it were a mirage.

I'm reading a book by Gerry Spence (a defense lawyer who never lost a case) and he's big on trust and telling the truth. I've realized I'm not very trustworthy, but that I often tell the truth in some areas to make up for lies in others. I'm trying to reconcile this as I said but it's hard when he says you have to be honest about what you want.

If I'm honest i really DO want to just be a leech. I feel like I've given more than I've gotten in life and I don't know why that is. I feel like in order to "make up for it", for there to be such a thing as justice, I need to get everything I want handed to me on a silver platter.

And then I'm faced with how life doesn't [seem] to work that way and I get confused, and then I think "well, why not lie, cheat, and steal then? If living one way doesn't work, do the opposite" so, that's where I'm at atm and it's not fun.

Years ago my ideal life was to be able to stay home all day watching porn and masturbate, though now I may want women, the sexual desire and inlaid "destitution" is still there. :/

“A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”

― Thomas Carlyl

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
The second-best time is Now. " - Chinese Proverb
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12-03-2016, 10:40 AM
Post: #42
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
(12-03-2016 10:16 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote:  
(12-03-2016 09:28 AM)robstar Wrote:  I dunno. Dealing with my life and my emotional/mental state being a wreck atm. Neglected certain aspects of my life for too long and it caught up to me.. there's smart hedonism and then there's the way I was living. Anyway it culminated in a big panic attack 2 months ago that landed me in the er thinking I was having a heart attack, chest pains and all. Ecg and blood test came back negative nonetheless I'm mow dealing with constant health anxiety despite having dealt with the issues that led to the first one. So I'm running E2 indefinitely, or if Shannon tells me that the healing in DMSI will also be effective in helping this, then I'll be on that straight away!

I can relate man. Not only have I been in the ER for the same thing multiple times, but now I'm nearing the end of a lot of things. I've been quite careless with my life and I'm finding it hard to reconcile things.

I'm really scared that I may truly end up homeless this time or worse.

I'm disappointed in my family but more so in myself. None of us have done anything to pull ourselves out of the mess we've made of our lives, and all my own personal success has all but evaporated as if it were a mirage.

I'm reading a book by Gerry Spence (a defense lawyer who never lost a case) and he's big on trust and telling the truth. I've realized I'm not very trustworthy, but that I often tell the truth in some areas to make up for lies in others. I'm trying to reconcile this as I said but it's hard when he says you have to be honest about what you want.

If I'm honest i really DO want to just be a leech. I feel like I've given more than I've gotten in life and I don't know why that is. I feel like in order to "make up for it", for there to be such a thing as justice, I need to get everything I want handed to me on a silver platter.

And then I'm faced with how life doesn't [seem] to work that way and I get confused, and then I think "well, why not lie, cheat, and steal then? If living one way doesn't work, do the opposite" so, that's where I'm at atm and it's not fun.

Years ago my ideal life was to be able to stay home all day watching porn and masturbate, though now I may want women, the sexual desire and inlaid "destitution" is still there. :/

Sorry to hear man, yeah thinking you're dying sucks.
In terms of the leech thing, I often feel like that, except that I truly love singing/performing, so if I could make a career out of that I would be "giving but it would really feel like work.

Just be glad you never got into recreational substances.. added to the whole staying home an masturbating thing, it's a whole nother level of hedonism and can really mess things up further.

Turning super saiyan.
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SargeMaximus
12-03-2016, 10:55 AM
Post: #43
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
(12-03-2016 10:40 AM)robstar Wrote:  Sorry to hear man, yeah thinking you're dying sucks.
In terms of the leech thing, I often feel like that, except that I truly love singing/performing, so if I could make a career out of that I would be "giving but it would really feel like work.

Just be glad you never got into recreational substances.. added to the whole staying home an masturbating thing, it's a whole nother level of hedonism and can really mess things up further.

Yeah I've thought that my selfish attitude could be giving in a way because if people took lessons from how I value myself and applied it to themselves, maybe lol. I dunno. I've read that some people value people who can be my kind of selfish.

As for singing tho, you ARE busking now aren't you? Have you made progress in that as far as careers go? Like, have you looked in to how you can monetize it?

And drugs, yeah I am glad, tho lately I've been wondering if masturbating excessively is much different. I don't believe the "yourbrainonporn" stuff, but it kind of can be like a drug. It's weird because the arguments made on "yourbrainonporn" don't hold up to testing (because I've tested going without many times) yet you can definitely lose a lot of time to it if you let yourself, like I did.

“A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”

― Thomas Carlyl

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
The second-best time is Now. " - Chinese Proverb
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12-03-2016, 12:18 PM
Post: #44
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
I'm monitoring this thread on a daily basis waiting to read that you got laid then I can buy DMSI.

I'm rooting for you sarge.

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12-03-2016, 01:04 PM
Post: #45
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
(12-03-2016 12:18 PM)AbundanceCH Wrote:  I'm monitoring this thread on a daily basis waiting to read that you got laid then I can buy DMSI.

I'm rooting for you sarge.

Lol thanks man. At this point in my life though, I need money. Sugar momma is ideal.

“A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”

― Thomas Carlyl

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
The second-best time is Now. " - Chinese Proverb
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12-03-2016, 06:19 PM
Post: #46
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
I'd say you need to outgrow your belief system just as much as anything, if not more. That is the root of what you experience outwardly in life.

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The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.)
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12-03-2016, 11:28 PM (This post was last modified: 12-03-2016 11:30 PM by SargeMaximus.)
Post: #47
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
(12-03-2016 06:19 PM)Shannon Wrote:  I'd say you need to outgrow your belief system just as much as anything, if not more. That is the root of what you experience outwardly in life.

Hey Shannon, would love to know what you mean by this. You always hint at it but I never clue in. Just saying, I'm willing to listen if you ever want to brave trying to explain it to me again Smile


____________________________________________

ION went to my first party EVER tonight. o.O

It was at my supervisor's house. It was his birthday and he's just got back from Australia. My boss was there also. As were 20-30 other russians. lol.

Before you ask: no. I did not take any pictures. I didn;t think it would be right to do.

However, there were lots of cute girls. They're all russian after all. Smile

Here are the notables:

- One russian girl was definitely interested in me. Kept hovering around until I decided to make small talk. It fell flat. Then she came and sat beside me later to talk, we talked about what we did and she asked me about my job. Once again, it fell flat. She excused herself.

- I spent most of the time staring at walls or the tables while everyone spoke russian around me lol

- I was chatted up by my boss's wife. She seemed really sociable and was doing a weird ioi where she kept swinging her foot towards me (maybe a subconscious "go away" signal?). We talked about introversion and she said she was a bit of an introvert too, but then, after a while, she was like "you're funny" while standing up, then she said "I'm gonna go be an extrovert now" I'm like "ok, have fun"

- When I was leaving, someone I had not talked to asked me if I was ok to drive. asking me how many drinks I had and stuff which was cool.

- My boss and supervisor both decided to take me aside and talk to me about our plans moving forward with this new legislation. apparently I'm going to have the chance to do B2B sales. However, my boss made it clear it's mine to lose.

- As I was leaving my boss's wife called at me from a few feet away, she's like "you leaving sarge?" I'm like "yeah" she's like "ok, well merry christmas" I'm like "thank you, you too" and then the girl who hovered around me also said goodbye as did her friend. They both waved.

So yeah, not a bad experience, would have liked DMSI to work harder on the hovering girl but i must have put her off somehow.

“A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”

― Thomas Carlyl

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
The second-best time is Now. " - Chinese Proverb
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12-03-2016, 11:33 PM (This post was last modified: 12-03-2016 11:37 PM by Darkness.)
Post: #48
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
Harasho,sarge, harasho: good in russian

Vee krasivaya: your beautiful(girl)

Kak dela: how are you?

Privyet: hello
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12-03-2016, 11:45 PM
Post: #49
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
Quote:So yeah, not a bad experience, would have liked DMSI to work harder on the hovering girl but i must have put her off somehow.

Are we back to blaming DMSI again?

It does what you let it do. If you don;t let it do that, it focuses on clearing and healing instead.

It sounds like DMSI did it's job, and you did the rest. Experience will help.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.)
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12-04-2016, 03:35 AM
Post: #50
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
Quote: Besides, you can't be a virgin because you don't have a hymen.

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12-04-2016, 04:24 AM
Post: #51
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
(12-03-2016 11:45 PM)Shannon Wrote:  
Quote:So yeah, not a bad experience, would have liked DMSI to work harder on the hovering girl but i must have put her off somehow.

Are we back to blaming DMSI again?

It does what you let it do. If you don;t let it do that, it focuses on clearing and healing instead.

It sounds like DMSI did it's job, and you did the rest. Experience will help.

Hmmm. I felt like I engaged her just as much as the hair dresser tho, that's why I say that.

“A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”

― Thomas Carlyl

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
The second-best time is Now. " - Chinese Proverb
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12-04-2016, 04:31 AM
Post: #52
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
I'm just saying that:

A) The program is very obviously not fully focused on executing the script that causes this to happen because there is a 100% chance that it is trying to clear something that 2.4 didn't try to, and

B) It is very obvious that you are inexperienced, and that seems to be the primary issue you're having at this point: not knowing what to do with attraction yet.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.)
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12-04-2016, 04:35 AM (This post was last modified: 12-04-2016 04:37 AM by SargeMaximus.)
Post: #53
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
(12-04-2016 04:31 AM)Shannon Wrote:  I'm just saying that:

A) The program is very obviously not fully focused on executing the script that causes this to happen because there is a 100% chance that it is trying to clear something that 2.4 didn't try to, and

B) It is very obvious that you are inexperienced, and that seems to be the primary issue you're having at this point: not knowing what to do with attraction yet.

Hmmm, ok. It's just confusing. Isn't she supposed to seduce me a little?

“A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”

― Thomas Carlyl

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
The second-best time is Now. " - Chinese Proverb
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12-04-2016, 04:40 AM
Post: #54
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
(12-04-2016 04:35 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote:  
(12-04-2016 04:31 AM)Shannon Wrote:  I'm just saying that:

A) The program is very obviously not fully focused on executing the script that causes this to happen because there is a 100% chance that it is trying to clear something that 2.4 didn't try to, and

B) It is very obvious that you are inexperienced, and that seems to be the primary issue you're having at this point: not knowing what to do with attraction yet.

Hmmm, ok. It's just confusing. Isn't she supposed to seduce me a little?

What do you think she was trying to do?

Also keep in mind, this is not the final version and this program is currently trying to clear and heal the reasons why you're not getting maximum possible results.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.)
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12-04-2016, 04:52 AM
Post: #55
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
(12-04-2016 04:40 AM)Shannon Wrote:  
(12-04-2016 04:35 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote:  
(12-04-2016 04:31 AM)Shannon Wrote:  I'm just saying that:

A) The program is very obviously not fully focused on executing the script that causes this to happen because there is a 100% chance that it is trying to clear something that 2.4 didn't try to, and

B) It is very obvious that you are inexperienced, and that seems to be the primary issue you're having at this point: not knowing what to do with attraction yet.

Hmmm, ok. It's just confusing. Isn't she supposed to seduce me a little?

What do you think she was trying to do?

Also keep in mind, this is not the final version and this program is currently trying to clear and heal the reasons why you're not getting maximum possible results.

Yes I'm aware it's not the final version. I'm also not attacking it, I'm just stating the observable difference between her and the hairstylist.

I don't know what she was trying to do. She seemed a bit locked up, or maybe I'm projecting, or maybe I was too loose. Either way, she didn't put as much effort in (nor did she seem as "head over heels" as the hair dresser).

“A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”

― Thomas Carlyl

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
The second-best time is Now. " - Chinese Proverb
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12-04-2016, 05:03 AM
Post: #56
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
(12-04-2016 04:52 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote:  
(12-04-2016 04:40 AM)Shannon Wrote:  
(12-04-2016 04:35 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote:  
(12-04-2016 04:31 AM)Shannon Wrote:  I'm just saying that:

A) The program is very obviously not fully focused on executing the script that causes this to happen because there is a 100% chance that it is trying to clear something that 2.4 didn't try to, and

B) It is very obvious that you are inexperienced, and that seems to be the primary issue you're having at this point: not knowing what to do with attraction yet.

Hmmm, ok. It's just confusing. Isn't she supposed to seduce me a little?

What do you think she was trying to do?

Also keep in mind, this is not the final version and this program is currently trying to clear and heal the reasons why you're not getting maximum possible results.

Yes I'm aware it's not the final version. I'm also not attacking it, I'm just stating the observable difference between her and the hairstylist.

I don't know what she was trying to do. She seemed a bit locked up, or maybe I'm projecting, or maybe I was too loose. Either way, she didn't put as much effort in (nor did she seem as "head over heels" as the hair dresser).

I only have your account to go by, but... both of them were trying to express interest to the degree they believed they could given the circumstances.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.)
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12-04-2016, 05:11 AM
Post: #57
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
(12-04-2016 05:03 AM)Shannon Wrote:  
(12-04-2016 04:52 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote:  
(12-04-2016 04:40 AM)Shannon Wrote:  
(12-04-2016 04:35 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote:  
(12-04-2016 04:31 AM)Shannon Wrote:  I'm just saying that:

A) The program is very obviously not fully focused on executing the script that causes this to happen because there is a 100% chance that it is trying to clear something that 2.4 didn't try to, and

B) It is very obvious that you are inexperienced, and that seems to be the primary issue you're having at this point: not knowing what to do with attraction yet.

Hmmm, ok. It's just confusing. Isn't she supposed to seduce me a little?

What do you think she was trying to do?

Also keep in mind, this is not the final version and this program is currently trying to clear and heal the reasons why you're not getting maximum possible results.

Yes I'm aware it's not the final version. I'm also not attacking it, I'm just stating the observable difference between her and the hairstylist.

I don't know what she was trying to do. She seemed a bit locked up, or maybe I'm projecting, or maybe I was too loose. Either way, she didn't put as much effort in (nor did she seem as "head over heels" as the hair dresser).

I only have your account to go by, but... both of them were trying to express interest to the degree they believed they could given the circumstances.

Fair enough. I just feel like I have to do most of the work. If that's the case, then I would say I could have been a bit more serious with her to match her serious demeanor. Or I could have suggested she and I go for a walk or something. Beyond that I could have sought her out later (her and her friend watched TV away from the party for much of the night), but then I'm entering into "chasing" mode. So yeah, I get she was expressing interest, but you're right: I didn't know how to act on it, and was hoping she could steer things.

“A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”

― Thomas Carlyl

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
The second-best time is Now. " - Chinese Proverb
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12-04-2016, 05:15 AM
Post: #58
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
Believe me, I know how you feel. I was not exactly very far off of that situation until I lost my virginity.

Ideally the goal is, she does all the work.

But we have to see what happens with this version's healing for a while before we can know just how much it is achieving that goal.

Plus, it's only a few days in.

We will get there, but I have to know what each version does first.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.)
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12-04-2016, 05:27 AM (This post was last modified: 12-04-2016 05:29 AM by SargeMaximus.)
Post: #59
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
(12-04-2016 05:15 AM)Shannon Wrote:  Believe me, I know how you feel. I was not exactly very far off of that situation until I lost my virginity.

Ideally the goal is, she does all the work.

But we have to see what happens with this version's healing for a while before we can know just how much it is achieving that goal.

Plus, it's only a few days in.

We will get there, but I have to know what each version does first.

I hear you.

One thing that is interesting is how DMSI seems to be making people more forgiving and not only that but put you in a positive light. That alone is hard to get used to and being so hard to adjust to the new paradigm could be why I don't take the necessary steps.

I remember back when I did pick up how one time there was this girl who recognised me from an approach I did weeks prior on the opposite end of the city. Anyhow she was ecstatic to see me but I was in "Approach girls" mode and treated her like another approach. So it could be I was in converse mode when I should have been in some some other mode. Just a guess.

Almost like I still think I have to earn it if that makes sense.

“A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”

― Thomas Carlyl

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
The second-best time is Now. " - Chinese Proverb
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12-04-2016, 03:24 PM
Post: #60
RE: SargeMaximus: V is for... Victory [DMSI 3.0.1-A]
I just read about your party with the Russians and your supervisor returning from Australia. This is why for some reason I thought you were from Europe (German). I know that you reside in Canada.

What does B2B mean? When you talked about B2B sales...

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