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(Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5->3.0
11-08-2016, 02:00 AM
Post: #21
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
When I am thinking about how often I had the idea to change/quit this sub (and also did several times) I am pretty sure this is resistance. However, if it affects your ability to take exams then this is still a good point to pause (but don't take it as excuse).

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Why So Serious?
11-09-2016, 11:12 PM
Post: #22
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
(11-06-2016 02:38 PM)Why So Serious? Wrote:  Now today is just going into a completely different territory. I feel like something is shifting but once again don't know what it is. It feels weird. Like I'm being pushed into a completely different direction. Well tugged would feel more appropriate. For some odd reason I really feel like somethings is tugging me like on the right side of my chest. Certain things that I used to do don't seem to make sense anymore. Like habits and certain thought processes.

This is probably the reality shifting tech. Powerful stuff. When I think back to who I was two years ago, it seems like that person never really existed, if that makes any sense. Memories feel hazy, I can't make out details.

All the cost of developing MSI.

[INTP] | β€œβ€˜Tis true without lying, certain and most true. That which is below is like that which is above and that which is above is like that which is below.” – Isaac Newton
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11-12-2016, 10:46 AM
Post: #23
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
Quote:When I am thinking about how often I had the idea to change/quit this sub (and also did several times) I am pretty sure this is resistance. However, if it affects your ability to take exams then this is still a good point to pause (but don't take it as excuse).

I could be resistance. I thought about it and it's not the first time I've been in this situation so it's not a good reason to quit.

Quote:This is probably the reality shifting tech. Powerful stuff. When I think back to who I was two years ago, it seems like that person never really existed, if that makes any sense. Memories feel hazy, I can't make out details.

All the cost of developing MSI.

It makes sense I can kind of remember who I was before starting DMSI but its the same hazy feeling you have. Your right about that reality shifting it's no joke.


Day22
The last few days were either filled with guilt trips or just dealing with B.S. I mean an abnormal amount of B.S. and stupidity.

Now during this time frame I did notice some guy's looking but they weren't attractive. Then all kept thinking about was B.S. Very difficult state to break out of. When I did something else would happen within an hour.

I did get asked out by that guy who I talked about earlier who got kicked out the office. I turned that offer down. I was glad my mind went blank but if I had said something when he asked I would have probably said yes and made thing worse. I'm sorry but I'm tired of settling.

Also yesterday I had thought about if I wanted to be like Oprah. Weird right. I don't want to be her. Something about her feels off. Can't explain it but it is what it is.

Then I thought about again how guy's don't seem to have a space to well be guy's. I mean you can see it. It's just sad. It's like I'm reminded of that a lot more lately and really does get to me. That's weird as well because it not like I haven't noticed it before but now it's all up in my face.

Also femininity is at an all time low. What happened?

Anyway I feel like I'm starting to get somewhere with this personal growth however I mostly feel like I have a very long way to go.

Anyway that all for now.

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11-12-2016, 11:09 AM
Post: #24
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
(11-12-2016 10:46 AM)Why So Serious? Wrote:  Then I thought about again how guy's don't seem to have a space to well be guy's. I mean you can see it. It's just sad.

Can you explain this a bit more?

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11-12-2016, 11:51 AM
Post: #25
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
I meant masculinity is being suppressed. Sorry about that.

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11-12-2016, 01:28 PM
Post: #26
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
(11-12-2016 11:51 AM)Why So Serious? Wrote:  I meant masculinity is being suppressed. Sorry about that.

Oh, yes, it is. Sorry, I am not a native English speaker.

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11-12-2016, 04:32 PM
Post: #27
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
(11-12-2016 01:28 PM)Mr. Anderson Wrote:  
(11-12-2016 11:51 AM)Why So Serious? Wrote:  I meant masculinity is being suppressed. Sorry about that.

Oh, yes, it is. Sorry, I am not a native English speaker.

Can u explain a little more? I wanna know from ur point of view

As a human being I only have so much time and resources to work towards something and if I spread myself too thin in an effort to be good at everything I'll be good at nothing.
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11-13-2016, 06:57 AM
Post: #28
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
(11-12-2016 04:32 PM)Zane Wrote:  
(11-12-2016 01:28 PM)Mr. Anderson Wrote:  
(11-12-2016 11:51 AM)Why So Serious? Wrote:  I meant masculinity is being suppressed. Sorry about that.

Oh, yes, it is. Sorry, I am not a native English speaker.

Can u explain a little more? I wanna know from ur point of view

Did you mean me? Or did you want a female opinion?

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11-19-2016, 06:39 AM
Post: #29
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
It could be all the different genders we have now. It's fashionable to be gender(insert preferred choice). A lot of nonsense but it's something people can use to their advantage.
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11-26-2016, 06:48 PM
Post: #30
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
(11-01-2016 06:02 PM)Why So Serious? Wrote:  Nothing special happened. Just in bad mood and really tired. I still have issuses with standing up for my self and authority and that great and wonderful stuff.

What does that have to with DMSI I have no clue. I'm now starting to question what the sub is doing right now because it doesn't feel like it doing anything. That dude I talked about in the last post who I didn't see often well I saw him today. Now I don't feel to much for him. Also the class mate who was more talkative than usual wasn't there and someone else was sitting in his spot. Not very attractive to say the least. Well the talkative class mate isn't either but I do like something about him. Just can't put my finger on it.

Hmm.... well off to shower, eat and go to bed. Hopefully tomorrow is better.

Come to find out he's running DMSI too LOL!
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Why So Serious?
11-29-2016, 07:13 PM (This post was last modified: 11-29-2016 07:34 PM by Why So Serious?.)
Post: #31
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
(11-13-2016 06:57 AM)Mr. Anderson Wrote:  
(11-12-2016 04:32 PM)Zane Wrote:  
(11-12-2016 01:28 PM)Mr. Anderson Wrote:  
(11-12-2016 11:51 AM)Why So Serious? Wrote:  I meant masculinity is being suppressed. Sorry about that.

Oh, yes, it is. Sorry, I am not a native English speaker.

Can u explain a little more? I wanna know from ur point of view

Did you mean me? Or did you want a female opinion?

Day 35

OMG I decided to post instead of being lazy.

I'm guessing he means my opinion. I'll keep it short. I fear I might get tldr and would mostly be ranting.

Men putting women on a pedestal like were these angels, putting up with womens b.s., not leading or least making decisions, giving off to much feminine vibes(this is big one for me), doesn't take action to get what he wants, no chilvery etc.
When a guy tells you that his girlfriend can abuse him physically but the moment he touches her it's all over for him. That's a problem. Doesn't matter how long the girlfriend has been at it.

No more feeling over the top happy. I think the sub might be pushing me in a more feminine direction because I don't want to compete at all when it comes to careers. I still like my Comp. Sci. class but I just like learning it. I don't want to compete with a bunch of men trying to get a job. Huh

Lately I don't care about college. I literately forget that I have to go sometimes. Which is very unusual for me.Undecided

Also at the job we have a new cute female temp. Unfortunately the snooze cooze HR told her not dress up for work anymore.Sad It's sad because she did look good in business casual.

Stuff like that has been happening lately. I thought I would get a break from the b.s. but nope it just keeps getting worse.

The men at work have been acting more friendly than usual. They wait till no one is in the room to talk to me. The day after thanksgiving the general manager walked in and talked to me for an hour. I would say it's DMSI but I'm not sure. I have been pretty frustrated and depressed lately so that could be it. Then again I'm like that 70% of the time so why care now? The attention kind of scares me. Something to get used to.

Also I think there is this weird challenge going on where the guy's are trying to get me talk more.Dodgy

Self image is starting to improve. I really feel like the change in perception could be permanent this time.

I'm starting appreciate and like men more. Thought I had that covered but apparently not.

I still sabotage myself unfortunately. The guy I talked about earlier who was at the front desk getting thing ready to start working at the job. I thought I wasn't going to see him again. Well I get to see him sometimes in the morning. He waits in the area I have to walk through to get to the office. I could stop worrying what others are going to think and just talk to him. My co-worker can even hook me up since she knows someone that indirectly works with him but I just don't go through with it.Sad
It's like a repeat of the other guy (let's call him C) at my last job. I have a difficult time thinking guy's that look that good wouldn't be with someone like me.Sad It's an annoying issue to deal with.
Another odd thing about this situation is that my co-worker wants to hook me up him.Huh Now from what little experience I have most women will not do that for another woman if that guy is that good looking. Especially if they agree and talk about how they would hook up with the guy. So it's strange. Even the a couple of women who I know would flirt with him haven't said much.

This post was longer than expected so sorry.

Oh and also I stopped listening to the sub Friday. At first because my nephews were over but I forgot to turn it back. Next version will be out anyway so I'll wait for that one. I was going to just start it up again but the guy my coworker want to hook me up with need some lovin. Tongue

Okay time for bed can barely keep my eyes open.

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E2 6 1/2 months. To be continued
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11-29-2016, 07:18 PM
Post: #32
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
(11-19-2016 06:39 AM)Ricardo Wrote:  It could be all the different genders we have now. It's fashionable to be gender(insert preferred choice). A lot of nonsense but it's something people can use to their advantage.

I guess it would be fashionable if I told other people about it. I keep that to myself except on here. Tried telling my parents that didn't work well but my sister noticed something was off awhile ago. Other than that no one knows. How sad can't even use that to my advantage.Wink

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11-29-2016, 07:19 PM
Post: #33
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
(11-26-2016 06:48 PM)Zeroxmachina Wrote:  
(11-01-2016 06:02 PM)Why So Serious? Wrote:  Nothing special happened. Just in bad mood and really tired. I still have issuses with standing up for my self and authority and that great and wonderful stuff.

What does that have to with DMSI I have no clue. I'm now starting to question what the sub is doing right now because it doesn't feel like it doing anything. That dude I talked about in the last post who I didn't see often well I saw him today. Now I don't feel to much for him. Also the class mate who was more talkative than usual wasn't there and someone else was sitting in his spot. Not very attractive to say the least. Well the talkative class mate isn't either but I do like something about him. Just can't put my finger on it.

Hmm.... well off to shower, eat and go to bed. Hopefully tomorrow is better.

Come to find out he's running DMSI too LOL!

Oh God no. LOL! I highly doubt he would be open to stuff like this.

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12-01-2016, 07:38 PM (This post was last modified: 12-01-2016 07:43 PM by Why So Serious?.)
Post: #34
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
Still having resitance. Woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick and very uncomfortable under my skin. Feeling like I want to quit at life and all that good stuff. And not in the mood for sex.Confused Also more self sabotage. I try extremely hard to resist doing cute nerdy things that I know would be attractive. The moment I do something I instantly go back to doing whatever it is I'm doing.

Okay got that out of the way. Now on to the somewhat interesting stuff with a rant.

I got a 3 month supply of birth control. Don't have to worry until February.Big Grin

I also think I don't look as bad as I think I do. Well not that I look bad just some things that could be worked on. I had guy's tell me that I'm in okay shape just get toned. They give me a strange look as well when I even mention weight so I'll go with toned.Tongue Women........ eh tell me I'm good shape but tell me I don't need to do anything. Yeah....Dodgy that's typical.

Also what happened? Why is it now appropriate for women to call other women bitches? I mean I know it's been going on but now it's becoming okay for women to say that even if they don't know you to well. And the cursing geez. You don't have to say mother f**ker every other word to get your point across. It's bad enough when a guy does it but it seems worse when a woman does.
What happened to classy women? I was hoping to look for some my age so I can hang around and study from them. I don't think that's going to happen. I even talked to my mom about it and she said it would be difficult this day and age. Makes me sad and very frustrated.

P.S. Since It would be award if I posted in Shannon's journal as it seems to be late news. I'm sorry about what happened to MIR 2.0. I hope the the 6g one will blow our minds when ever you decide to work on it.

Okay I'm off

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12-02-2016, 02:49 AM
Post: #35
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
I love your threat title.
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12-02-2016, 07:15 AM
Post: #36
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
Still on DMSI 2.5 or already changed to 3.0.1-A?
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12-03-2016, 02:21 PM (This post was last modified: 12-03-2016 02:35 PM by Why So Serious?.)
Post: #37
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
@ RealDude
Thanks

@Changer
I'm not listening to anything right now. It's been a week since I last listened to 2.5. 3.0.1 will most likely have to wait until 12/15. I could try it for a day but I'm worried that the resistance could get worse as far as studying goes. And with finals and a couple of other test around the corner and I'm already struggling to focus on studying. Just couldn't be bothered with it right now.

Edit: Now that I think about it I'm always lazy when it comes to finals but this time the fear of not getting them done isn't there. Well it is there but it's 70% gone from the feel of it. Oh well gotta pull myself together and get this over with.

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12-03-2016, 09:55 PM
Post: #38
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
Wasn't going to post this but I figured why not. I need to get back into the habit of posting more anyway since I'll be running 3.0.1.

Anyhow right now I feel like I'm becoming a very annoying person. My thought process about certain things are changing and feel like that is going to make me very unlikable if it hasn't already. I also feel like something is screwed up about me and will only get worse from here. Which is weird because I don't think that's what's happening externally.

I remember reading something to the effect that masculinity will present itself in a feminine presence. Wait why have I been caring about this so much lately? I thought I would be the last person to care. It's like it's got some weird grip on me. Think it might be time to give this subject a break and maybe this journal too.
Wish I had another woman's opinion on this who is on the same path.

I'm off to bed .

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12-09-2016, 04:46 PM (This post was last modified: 12-09-2016 05:36 PM by Why So Serious?.)
Post: #39
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5
Okay just started 3.0 last night.

I don't think I'll say anything new so I'll keep this short.

Very tired right now. I have never felt burnt out at the job no matter how bad it got. Today was the day.

I keep trying to hold out at this job till I can get my teeth pulled and all that stuff but I might be moving on sooner.

So far I keep having this very strong feeling that I am a multi-millionaire and the money is coming. Even spaced in the car(it was parked) about me wearing something expensive and never having to wear the same cloth's twice.Huh I had a dream about being a my on the break from dmsi 2.5.

A little hungrier than usual.

I'm actually being a little bit friendlier. I'll go out my way to say hi to certain people at the office.

That's it.

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12-10-2016, 07:40 PM
Post: #40
RE: (Insert Clever Title) DMSI 2.5->3.0
Day 2

Being in public really drains me and the sub making me exhausted doesn't help. Didn't pay any attention to see if any guy's were interested. (Would say women too but I think it would be extremely hard to find interest.) Oh I take that back did notice a couple of good looking guy's.

My mind has been racing with all these possibilities on making money. They are all weird ideas too. I feel like I'm being pulled in multiple directions. Unfortunately noting to help to me study for finals.Sad

Which reminds me I started looking into astrology for career stuff. Which is weird because I never would thought about doing it this way. The free stuff seems to point to a writer of some sort, but I don't think I'm good at it and more importantly don't like writing. It could also be completely wrong and I might be misinterpreting something.

Oh and for everyone thinking why is this working on career stuff. It would help out some with anxiety and I would be able to relax more and not be so negative.

There now seem to be idea's about places to socialize as well.

Been horny off and on these last 24 hours. I had an urge to look at porn which I hadn't done in a few months. Soooooooo I figured why not and went with it. This actually helped to increase said horniness. I didn't really drain me like it usually would. I guess the shame isn't there which could have cause that draining feeling. I also seem to a better idea of what I want in guy........and women. At least I THINK I know.

Also I saw a guy with an incredible body and just wanted to lick his abs and other things. A part of my brain felt like it shut down as well. Felt like I needed to hunt for guy's like this. I never let myself go that far. You know gotta feel in control and all that jazz. Oh yeah and fear lets not forget that.

Anyway I haven't studied all day and need to start. Once again that's all. Oh and I'm listening the hybrid track which reminds me I need new speakers. Ok now I'm done

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