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Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
07-12-2016, 05:18 AM
Post: #81
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
(07-12-2016 02:36 AM)cataleya Wrote:  Also, I have serious issues with my dad and was REALLY hoping it would do some healing there too. Nothing so far. I still get annoyed after just 1 minute of talking to him. I don`t feel the need to have a relationship with my dad. Just talking to him without thinking "when is this conversation gonna end so I can leave" would be great.

I find that healing with my family members is taking longer than the other changes that have happened during E2. It is working for me but its more about my realisations and how I need to change, accepting that they probably never change, and then making sure that the time I spend with them is about them and not me.

Give it time and the right things will happen for you to deal with family, and you will soon realise what they are.

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cataleya
07-13-2016, 07:05 AM
Post: #82
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
(07-12-2016 05:18 AM)ArcticFox Wrote:  
(07-12-2016 02:36 AM)cataleya Wrote:  Also, I have serious issues with my dad and was REALLY hoping it would do some healing there too. Nothing so far. I still get annoyed after just 1 minute of talking to him. I don`t feel the need to have a relationship with my dad. Just talking to him without thinking "when is this conversation gonna end so I can leave" would be great.

I find that healing with my family members is taking longer than the other changes that have happened during E2. It is working for me but its more about my realisations and how I need to change, accepting that they probably never change, and then making sure that the time I spend with them is about them and not me.

Give it time and the right things will happen for you to deal with family, and you will soon realise what they are.

Yes, I remember reading someone`s E2 journal and thinking how we are in a similar situation regarding our family. It must have been your journal Smile It was like your wrote what I was thinking. And I am also thinking of running LTU after E2 Big Grin
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07-13-2016, 09:10 AM
Post: #83
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
Sounds like a Good idea of 'running LTU after E2'.... perhaps, family member have more resistance than us Smile

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07-13-2016, 08:50 PM (This post was last modified: 07-13-2016 08:51 PM by ncbeareatingman.)
Post: #84
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
cool- Cataleya !!
The rejuvenizer might also be an additional reason your 'new' 1 year old freindship,friend is hugging you more..hows it going with the rejuvenizer? kudo's for hanging in there with E2,too!! Keith.

' Money doesn't Change People,Man,don't U know that,it ONLY reveals them"-'Hawk' from Spencer for Hire TV show
lighthealing.com -personal rejuvenizer midnight blue-men's ring pictured(Keith)
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07-14-2016, 12:42 PM
Post: #85
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
(07-13-2016 07:05 AM)cataleya Wrote:  
(07-12-2016 05:18 AM)ArcticFox Wrote:  
(07-12-2016 02:36 AM)cataleya Wrote:  Also, I have serious issues with my dad and was REALLY hoping it would do some healing there too. Nothing so far. I still get annoyed after just 1 minute of talking to him. I don`t feel the need to have a relationship with my dad. Just talking to him without thinking "when is this conversation gonna end so I can leave" would be great.

I find that healing with my family members is taking longer than the other changes that have happened during E2. It is working for me but its more about my realisations and how I need to change, accepting that they probably never change, and then making sure that the time I spend with them is about them and not me.

Give it time and the right things will happen for you to deal with family, and you will soon realise what they are.

Yes, I remember reading someone`s E2 journal and thinking how we are in a similar situation regarding our family. It must have been your journal Smile It was like your wrote what I was thinking. And I am also thinking of running LTU after E2 Big Grin

Remember that E2 works on the "ball of yarn" model. It starts unravelling the issues at the point of best opportunity, and then unravels them at the pace you can best handle.

Some of the "yarns" it is unravelling may go very deep into the ball, if they deal with things you've been facing for many years. Some of them may not even be accessible to begin unravelling until other layers of the ball have been unravelled first.

Be kind to yourself. Patience.

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The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.)
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07-21-2016, 11:29 PM
Post: #86
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
Day 50

So yesterday I had a stressful day at work. I was hoping I would be able to handle the stress better since I am listening E2 for the last 50 days. I was even feeling stressed the day before cause I knew I had a stressful day coming up. I thought I would dwell less on the stress...feels like a step back...Undecided

Also having bad dreams for the last couple of days. Like dreaming of getting shot in the throat, being in jail and then last night I dreamt my parents kicked me out of the house cause they found me talking to my boyfriend while laying on the bed without telling them prior I would bring him Rolleyes
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PinkGreenOrangePug
07-27-2016, 05:34 PM (This post was last modified: 07-27-2016 05:41 PM by PinkGreenOrangePug.)
Post: #87
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
(07-21-2016 11:29 PM)cataleya Wrote:  Day 50

So yesterday I had a stressful day at work. I was hoping I would be able to handle the stress better since I am listening E2 for the last 50 days. I was even feeling stressed the day before cause I knew I had a stressful day coming up. I thought I would dwell less on the stress...feels like a step back...Undecided

Also having bad dreams for the last couple of days. Like dreaming of getting shot in the throat, being in jail and then last night I dreamt my parents kicked me out of the house cause they found me talking to my boyfriend while laying on the bed without telling them prior I would bring him Rolleyes


(07-21-2016 11:29 PM)cataleya Wrote:  Day 50
kicked me out of the house cause they found me talking to my boyfriend while laying on the bed without telling hem prior I would bring him Rolleyes

aw I had that happen to me also when (guy here) my gf was over and the parents came home and we were on the bed she was straddled on top of me and we were talking. Then the rents came to the place and saw her on top and did not like obviously because the way she responded was of a shout in a lower tone voice. ***edit*** that was real and this next part was a dream Smile *** and the throat Yeah...I had a dream of recent where some guy was running after me like the gladiator kind of movie what was the scene looked like, and another guy threw a spear and pierced that guy.

I am running Alpha Male V6 on stage 1 day day 32
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cataleya
08-30-2016, 02:59 AM (This post was last modified: 08-30-2016 03:00 AM by cataleya.)
Post: #88
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
Day 82

It should have been 90 days so far but I have been travelling so 82 so far.

I am not sure what to say about E2...due to this Naturalizer thing it is hard for me to see clear changes. I wish I could say "yes, E2 is definitely doing/healing xy!". I will mention some stuff but is primarily speculation on my part.

1. Had a fight with a friend recently. He was mad about something. He is the type of person who always has to be right which makes it impossible to argue with him. Anyway, I think I reacted pretty well this time. I calmly told him my point of view. I got upset later on but it did not last a long time. I detached from the whole thing pretty quickly. Normally, it would be something that would bug me for awhile. I just wish I could be more present when I am arguing. I just get overwhelmed with emotions and shut down. Only after when I cool off,I am able to have an argumentative conversation. It is getting better though.

2. Ok so everyone is reporting resistance, depression, bad mood every now and then. I have been listening for 82 days so far and I am still not having any of that Huh I am pretty happy and positive. I get some negative thoughts, it is mostly negative self talk but that is about it.

3. Still no improvement regarding my relationship with my dad. Still irritated with him as in day 1.

4. I noticed in the last 7 days or so I am getting like 10-minute spikes of massive motivation. Then it`s over Big Grin hopefully E2 is doing something in that area.

5. Great relationships with my friends and coworkers. I can feel that they are more loving towards me. Lots of compliments. I feel loved.

Just a comment unrelated to my journal...I read lot of other people journals here. Everything from E2 to DMSI. Regarding DMSI, I just wish people here could be more patient with the testing phase and less attacking Shannon. Shannon, sir...you have nerves of steel.
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08-30-2016, 12:46 PM
Post: #89
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
(08-30-2016 02:59 AM)cataleya Wrote:  Day 82

It should have been 90 days so far but I have been travelling so 82 so far.

I am not sure what to say about E2...due to this Naturalizer thing it is hard for me to see clear changes. I wish I could say "yes, E2 is definitely doing/healing xy!". I will mention some stuff but is primarily speculation on my part.

1. Had a fight with a friend recently. He was mad about something. He is the type of person who always has to be right which makes it impossible to argue with him. Anyway, I think I reacted pretty well this time. I calmly told him my point of view. I got upset later on but it did not last a long time. I detached from the whole thing pretty quickly. Normally, it would be something that would bug me for awhile. I just wish I could be more present when I am arguing. I just get overwhelmed with emotions and shut down. Only after when I cool off,I am able to have an argumentative conversation. It is getting better though.

2. Ok so everyone is reporting resistance, depression, bad mood every now and then. I have been listening for 82 days so far and I am still not having any of that Huh I am pretty happy and positive. I get some negative thoughts, it is mostly negative self talk but that is about it.

3. Still no improvement regarding my relationship with my dad. Still irritated with him as in day 1.

4. I noticed in the last 7 days or so I am getting like 10-minute spikes of massive motivation. Then it`s over Big Grin hopefully E2 is doing something in that area.

5. Great relationships with my friends and coworkers. I can feel that they are more loving towards me. Lots of compliments. I feel loved.

Just a comment unrelated to my journal...I read lot of other people journals here. Everything from E2 to DMSI. Regarding DMSI, I just wish people here could be more patient with the testing phase and less attacking Shannon. Shannon, sir...you have nerves of steel.

Glad your relationships with your friends and co-workers are doing well. That in itself is a blessing. Sorry to hear about your Dad's situation hasn't changed... yet, most importantly, that you are improving yourself in the meantime; Sometimes, we can't change others, even with the best intentions. Yet, when they see positive changes with us perhaps, they choose jealousy, uncomfortable or they feel left behind/disconnected Angel

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cataleya
08-31-2016, 02:46 AM
Post: #90
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
(08-30-2016 12:46 PM)DisneylandUSA Wrote:  
(08-30-2016 02:59 AM)cataleya Wrote:  Day 82

It should have been 90 days so far but I have been travelling so 82 so far.

I am not sure what to say about E2...due to this Naturalizer thing it is hard for me to see clear changes. I wish I could say "yes, E2 is definitely doing/healing xy!". I will mention some stuff but is primarily speculation on my part.

1. Had a fight with a friend recently. He was mad about something. He is the type of person who always has to be right which makes it impossible to argue with him. Anyway, I think I reacted pretty well this time. I calmly told him my point of view. I got upset later on but it did not last a long time. I detached from the whole thing pretty quickly. Normally, it would be something that would bug me for awhile. I just wish I could be more present when I am arguing. I just get overwhelmed with emotions and shut down. Only after when I cool off,I am able to have an argumentative conversation. It is getting better though.

2. Ok so everyone is reporting resistance, depression, bad mood every now and then. I have been listening for 82 days so far and I am still not having any of that Huh I am pretty happy and positive. I get some negative thoughts, it is mostly negative self talk but that is about it.

3. Still no improvement regarding my relationship with my dad. Still irritated with him as in day 1.

4. I noticed in the last 7 days or so I am getting like 10-minute spikes of massive motivation. Then it`s over Big Grin hopefully E2 is doing something in that area.

5. Great relationships with my friends and coworkers. I can feel that they are more loving towards me. Lots of compliments. I feel loved.

Just a comment unrelated to my journal...I read lot of other people journals here. Everything from E2 to DMSI. Regarding DMSI, I just wish people here could be more patient with the testing phase and less attacking Shannon. Shannon, sir...you have nerves of steel.

Glad your relationships with your friends and co-workers are doing well. That in itself is a blessing. Sorry to hear about your Dad's situation hasn't changed... yet, most importantly, that you are improving yourself in the meantime; Sometimes, we can't change others, even with the best intentions. Yet, when they see positive changes with us perhaps, they choose jealousy, uncomfortable or they feel left behind/disconnected Angel

Yeah not sure how many months of E2 is gonna be neccessary to deal with my issues with my dad Dodgy Big Grin but it's ok, I am not obsessing over it. I am enjoying everything else Smile
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DisneylandUSA
10-02-2016, 09:17 AM (This post was last modified: 10-03-2016 05:16 AM by cataleya.)
Post: #91
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
Day 106

I missed in total of 8 days of listening time since I had 2 business trips in September.

The last time I wrote a post I mentioned my motivation levels. Let me quote myself "I noticed in the last 7 days or so I am getting like 10-minute spikes of massive motivation. Then it`s over. Hopefully E2 is doing something in that area." Well, 24 days later and I can feel something has definitely shifted in that area. I now have a deep desire/motivation to change some things in my life. It started 2 weeks ago and it hasn`t waned since then. So I have been thinking a lot, making plans, doing some research and so on. I will post some more on this topic soon.

Also, I keep catching myself appreciating things in my life more. Simple things. Like the other day I was driving with my friend and thinking "It such a beautiful day. The sky is so blue. I love this song. I am so happy to have her as my friend."
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10-06-2016, 09:34 AM (This post was last modified: 10-06-2016 09:34 AM by cataleya.)
Post: #92
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
I would just like to add something here for everyone who is doubting if the subs are doing anything. Maybe it can help someone.

I remember the first time I turned on a sub (Ultra success) and went to sleep. Except, I couldn`t fall asleep cause it felt like my brain was going to explode Not sure how to explain it. I could feel the wheels turning Big Grin
It was like it was driving 500km per hour instead of 5km per hour it was used to and it was going to overheat any second. So after like 30 minutes I turned off the sub cause I knew I wasn`t going to fall asleep anytime soon. So that was my proof there is something going on. And when I have doubts, I always remember that Smile
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10-13-2016, 12:28 AM (This post was last modified: 10-14-2016 07:59 AM by cataleya.)
Post: #93
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
Day 107

So last night I suddenly began feeling sad, hopeless. Feeling like a victim, feeling sorry for myself. Like I am not in charge of my future, my life. That I will become estranged from all of my friends...not sure where the hell this is coming from...I haven`t felt like this in months. And I really REALLY don`t like feeling this way Angry

This morning when I woke up I felt better but the bad feeling has not passed entirely. I hope it goes away. Fast.
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10-14-2016, 08:04 AM
Post: #94
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
Day 108

I feel good again Big Grin
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11-05-2016, 08:07 AM
Post: #95
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
(10-14-2016 08:04 AM)cataleya Wrote:  Day 108

I feel good again Big Grin

Glad you're feeling Better. Big Grin

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cataleya
12-04-2016, 01:44 PM
Post: #96
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
This will be my last post as I will no longer be listening to E2. After 130 days of E2 I have decided it is time to move to BASE so I will be creating a separate journal for that. All in all, E2 was great. Made me feel deep gratitude towards little things in life. Before, I never understood how feeling grateful and being in the present can contribute to being happy. That was my favorite thing on E2.
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12-30-2016, 02:22 AM
Post: #97
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
Well done on your E2 run and good luck with BASE!

Always good to see people follow through with runs and not pull out or switch

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cataleya
12-30-2016, 06:03 AM
Post: #98
RE: Fresh start - EHPRA 2.0
(12-30-2016 02:22 AM)ArcticFox Wrote:  Well done on your E2 run and good luck with BASE!

Always good to see people follow through with runs and not pull out or switch

Thanks, I wish I could run E2 even longer but I gotta switch to BASE, gotta get my business in order. While I was running E2, I had my doubts whether it was working but now that I am off E2 I can clearly see that it was! When E3 comes out, it will be awesome Big Grin
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