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Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
06-08-2016, 09:59 PM (This post was last modified: 12-18-2016 04:14 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #1
Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
So I lasted 3 nights into my week off and i'm sitting here feeling like crap today.. managed to resist it most of the day but then it got to the point where I just started E2. There definately seems to be some remaining 'intensity/emotions' from my WM run, the things that kept coming up to derail the results when they got good and didn't really clear just stayed in the basckground.

Maybe it's just in my head, but i'm 40 minutes in and my dad rang and something felt subtly but distinctly different. More 'open' even though it was only brief. This is one thing I hope for in E2, improve my relationship with my parents. In the last few years i've become more closed off from them in general.

I wrote a big post and then deleted it, recently i've felt less need to post big posts whinging about issues. But then I thought I also need to write some stuff so I can see the progress and not be like some people and go "nothing is different" when it obviously is. So i'll just list them in a 'matter of fact' way so I can look back after doing E2 for a while.

So some things I hope for E2 to work on.

-Finally let go of this big trauma of when I was attacked that keeps popping up and derailing efforts with girls and has also made me isolate myself more than I should compared to before it happened. I've done alot of work on it, but since it keeps coming up when I start having a little success with girls then it's obviously still affecting me.

-Another deeper thing that I believe is one of the underlying issues with my attachment to approval/neediness/desperation/continually looking to girls for validation. And that is the abandonment issues around being adopted. There's always been this whole feeling of "something is wrong with me.. why did she give me up.. obviously i'm not good enough" related to this.

-Develop the ability to make myself happy, feel happy even if girls aren't paying attention or I don't have a girl at the moment instead of relying on them to make me happy.

-Improve my relationship with my parents, I tend to not open up to them much because i'd always be criticized when I was younger even if I told them something I thought was good and communication with them has slowly got worse over the last few years despite the progress i've made in some areas. I can't say anything i've worked on has touched on this area in any meaningful way.

-Make new genuine friends and connect deeper with them. To be honest since AM6 I haven't really had a friendship group. Occasionally i'll see an old friend and I talk to alot of people at the gym even sometimes before or after my workout i'll talk for 20-30 minutes. But they aren't people I hang out with or see them outside of the gym. Since I disconnected from the friendship group I had in AM6 i've mainly been doing things on my own unless i'm with a girl. Actually nearly all my life i've always felt like an outsider and never 'part of a group' and always had issues making new friends.

-Of course increased self validation/self esteem/confidence/letting go of victim mentality.

-Open up more and reengage with life more. This is related to trauma as after it i've slowly shut down more and reading Peter Levine's book confirmed this for me again.

-Hopefully let go of some addictions that stick around. Not major ones but at the moment it's protein bars and costing me like $70 a week having 2 a day where before I was saving that money. The thing is times i've given it up it seems to have shifted to something else like drinking more coffee. So somehow there's an underlying thing there that isn't about the specific addiction but about something else. I wouldn't have considered this until Catman said E2 helped stop edging and drinking softdrink.

-Letting go of guilt, shame,fear... big thing for me.. especially fear in most areas. The fear I believe has really stopped me from fully integrating programming of AM and WM even after so much listening.

-I had planned to get Somatic Experiencing sessions along with E2 and I still want to, but there is actually fear around just booking a session and doing it because i'll have to confront something. Maybe after some time listening that will reduce.

-Hope to increase motivation to sort out other things and other areas in my life i've neglected for too long.

-Find more things that make me happy, that I enjoy, or maybe that I forgot I enjoy and haven't done for years. Be more happy in general.

Not sure what else to say, that is a good start.

-----
Restarted E2 on 6/7/16 after around a week of DMSI 2.1

Thursday 20/10/16 stopping TRE for now to observe the difference with E2 after I feel that it affected it a few days ago.

Stopped for a week and restarted on 1/11/16.

Somatic Experiencing - 4th Session 15/12/16. (Just so I can keep track).

Stopped E2 (last night of listening) - Sunday 18/12/16.
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06-09-2016, 02:30 AM
Post: #2
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
My mind does some weird shit.

So I start listening to E2 and now my thoughts are suddenly shifted to "what the **** are you doing, no wonder things don't work how you want if you can't even take a whole week to rest, you should rest more before starting".

And I can bet if I stop they would goto the exact opposite thought in notime.

Though despite that I had the strong urge to listen more. I stopped to give a few hours before bed then after an hour i'm like "ahh listen once more on headphones before going to bed".

I'm unsure right now whether I should just take a few more nights off. Done 5 hours today already.
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Jake2015
06-09-2016, 02:45 AM
Post: #3
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
I will say that I'm definitely closer to being fully myself around my parents since starting E2. Now I'm hoping that we can all get along in total peace.
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06-09-2016, 03:20 AM
Post: #4
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
Wishing the best for you Ben, and hope this sub works for you and me and all others here.

Not sure if this will help, but since you have addictions from 1 thing to another, how about trying to create a positive addiction? What I mean is, clearly you jump to protein bars or coffee, but why? could it be simply a matter of taste or convenience?

If its taste, when you can get sugar or fixes from fruit...sweet tasty fruit. Ripe delicious fruit.

If its also taste, it could be an issue with chemical imbalances, so do you or are you taking a good food based multivitamin perhaps that has minerals too.

If it is convenience, then perhaps it simply a matter of saying I'm going to stock up on fruit and fill my house with that and each time I want a protein bar ill have a fruit just before it. Don't stop the addiction but swap it with something else?

Also what really helps with addiction is both omega 3 fats (obtained from flax so your body can make it otherwise good fish oil) and also L-Glutamine powder. Take a teaspoon with a little water before you crave any addiction, and see if it helps.

Sorry to interrupt your journal

E2-78 & 48days=NIL.IYGSH-54=NIL.. START MLS 5.5G ON 21 JULY'17-using AudioEngineA2+ speakers & S4/S7Edge phone. 4 loops.Cool
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Benjamin
06-09-2016, 04:13 AM
Post: #5
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
(06-09-2016 02:30 AM)Benjamin Wrote:  My mind does some weird shit.

So I start listening to E2 and now my thoughts are suddenly shifted to "what the **** are you doing, no wonder things don't work how you want if you can't even take a whole week to rest, you should rest more before starting".

And I can bet if I stop they would goto the exact opposite thought in notime.

Though despite that I had the strong urge to listen more. I stopped to give a few hours before bed then after an hour i'm like "ahh listen once more on headphones before going to bed".

I'm unsure right now whether I should just take a few more nights off. Done 5 hours today already.

Interesting reaction, E2 has scripting to stop the urge from stopping or switching to another sub.

Go with your gut, E2 will be waiting for you when you are ready.

INTP-A
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When you imagine something vividly... your subconscious will bring it into reality.
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06-09-2016, 05:01 PM (This post was last modified: 06-09-2016 05:07 PM by CatMan.)
Post: #6
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
You really should have waited, mate. I know the urge to start is strong, waiting after SM3 was real tough for me. I felt like it was a waste of sub time or whatever, but after such a huge program, it's good to let it settle.

Having said that, I have found relations with the family improved already. THEY are better with me, but I am still a bit closed and awkward at times as it's still a bit jarring and new, but I'm sure that will improve with time.

And yes, I've read all addiction apparently stems from shame. So since E2 has OGSF and is a real powerhouse in words per second and dealing with resistance, and is able to go as aggressive or as slow as you need it to so it can always continue making progress somehow, it's a real winner. I've found it to be able to indirectly rid me of addictions as you know, already.

I'm positive this sub will be right for you. After it, we will run AOSI 2.0 and be BEASTS with women! Wish we lived on the same rock, I'd take you out for a pint to celebrate your E2 run, lol. Hey, it beats an old man doing it, right? Lmao!
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06-09-2016, 05:31 PM
Post: #7
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
Quote:I will say that I'm definitely closer to being fully myself around my parents since starting E2. Now I'm hoping that we can all get along in total peace.

Awesome, I definately 'censor' myself alot around them. And if they are around when relatives are aroudn i'm usually quiet. But then for example if I see relatives down the street I talk to them like normal which I assume makes them think "WTF". I hope to get to the point where it doesn't matter at all and I can fully relax with my parents, relatives and be normal around them.

Quote:Wishing the best for you Ben, and hope this sub works for you and me and all others here.

Not sure if this will help, but since you have addictions from 1 thing to another, how about trying to create a positive addiction? What I mean is, clearly you jump to protein bars or coffee, but why? could it be simply a matter of taste or convenience?

If its taste, when you can get sugar or fixes from fruit...sweet tasty fruit. Ripe delicious fruit.

If its also taste, it could be an issue with chemical imbalances, so do you or are you taking a good food based multivitamin perhaps that has minerals too.

If it is convenience, then perhaps it simply a matter of saying I'm going to stock up on fruit and fill my house with that and each time I want a protein bar ill have a fruit just before it. Don't stop the addiction but swap it with something else?

Also what really helps with addiction is both omega 3 fats (obtained from flax so your body can make it otherwise good fish oil) and also L-Glutamine powder. Take a teaspoon with a little water before you crave any addiction, and see if it helps.

Sorry to interrupt your journal

Thanks man. I can't really say why I goto those addictions, the one before protein bars was kabana. Coffee I do love the taste, but probably the effect of it too.

But I do like your idea of changing it to something better. You could say in some ways I do have 'positive addictions' but I don't call them that. Like the gym some people would say that but I wouldn't call it an addiction, just something I love and benefits me.

I take fish oil most days, i'll have a look at l-glutamine. I'm not sure if that's in my protein powder or not.

All good man, I don't mind.

Quote:Interesting reaction, E2 has scripting to stop the urge from stopping or switching to another sub.

Go with your gut, E2 will be waiting for you when you are ready.

At this point i'm not sure if that's really my intuition/gut seeing that it flipped to the opposite extreme. I think i'm just gonna ease into E2 using it a few hours during the day but not nights yet. I decided not to use it last night, but with how it affected my dreams way more than past programs I was like "wow". But i'll post that in a minute.

Quote:You really should have waited, mate. I know the urge to start is strong, waiting after SM3 was real tough for me. I felt like it was a waste of sub time or whatever, but after such a huge program, it's good to let it settle.

Having said that, I have found relations with the family improved already. THEY are better with me, but I am still a bit closed and awkward at times as it's still a bit jarring and new, but I'm sure that will improve with time.

And yes, I've read all addiction apparently stems from shame. So since E2 has OGSF and is a real powerhouse in words per second and dealing with resistance, and is able to go as aggressive or as slow as you need it to so it can always continue making progress somehow, it's a real winner. I've found it to be able to indirectly rid me of addictions as you know, already.

I'm positive this sub will be right for you. After it, we will run AOSI 2.0 and be BEASTS with women! Wish we lived on the same rock, I'd take you out for a pint to celebrate your E2 run, lol. Hey, it beats an old man doing it, right? Lmao!

I know, I don't know why it was so difficult. At this point i'm probably just going to do a few hours a day and not nights until next week.

Awesome, seems everyones relationship with their family is improving. I can't say it's something i've ever really worked on. Some things I guess when dealing with weight loss but I can't say it really improved our relationship just my 'relationship' with food.

Hahaha that would be cool. We could goto the old folks home and.. oh I mean to the club to get molested by sexy young girls.. not manly sexy girls though hahaha.
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06-09-2016, 05:44 PM (This post was last modified: 06-09-2016 06:03 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #8
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
I was conflicted last night whether to continue E2 or just rest for my whole week. I listened 5 hours yesterday and before bed I decided "Ok I won't put it on tonight". But then the way my dreams were affected were distinctly and noticably different than any other subliminal so today i'm like "holy **** I can't stop after seeing the power of this". So for the next few days atleast i'll do a little during the day but not the nights and ease into the listening. Guess it's half way between totally taking the break and going into it full on.

When I first went to bed I was having these thoughts of girls who had rejected me and a couple that I hadn't thought of for ages and somehow they all of a sudden felt better like something had shifted. I forget exactly the memories now though.

The first main thing is that E2 signalled a return of something that users who have been around since AM 2011 will remember well.. ZOMBIE DREAMS!

I don't exactly remember how it started. But I was in a group of people and we were trying to escape something but it was dark and we lost each other. We were feeling our way around a building. Then lights come on and there was these zombies and I was pointing them out to people. Then one come closer and some people with me and zombies were people I know that I haven't seen for ages. Turns out the zombies were still people but with a weird green tinge to their skin, like half zombie but still randomly could eat you. We went inside and one seemed to be kind of after me and I grabbed him around the throat to keep him away, then a second one with the other hand and eventually managed to push them away. Don't remember what happened after that.

And I think I had another dream. At the time it all seemed so obvious and I thought "ok i'll remember that tomorrow to type it up" but now it's slipped my mind. But it was something else around fear.

And I don't remember if it was the zombie dream or the second one but I woke up even though it wasn't hot and I was soaked in sweat. So definately a fear response/fear being purged. I've occasionally had this during my AM runs but E2 did it on the first night. I have a feeling it may happen alot more but usually when I get those physical reactions on waking I notice something has cleared. Today I can't really say, I don't know.

I also woke up with some disturbing thoughts of something that has disturbed me for years. And actually in earlier AM programs these same thoughts come up in Stage 1.

And also feel like i've had some shifts in thinking slightly which I was aware of earlier but i've totally forgotten that too.

That's already showing me it will be hard to notice what changes on E2 which is why it's good to have this journal so you guys can tell me "what chu you talkin about willis?!". Big Grin
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06-09-2016, 07:29 PM (This post was last modified: 06-09-2016 07:30 PM by Why So Serious?.)
Post: #9
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
Ah yes them disturbing thoughts. I had those to in the beginning from stuff years ago that I thought was taken care but obviously it wasn't. I don't seem to get them anymore and if it happens again I don't think I would care.

Alpha Female 1 year complete
E2 6 1/2 months. To be continued
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Benjamin
06-09-2016, 09:47 PM (This post was last modified: 06-09-2016 10:42 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #10
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
Quote:Ah yes them disturbing thoughts. I had those to in the beginning from stuff years ago that I thought was taken care but obviously it wasn't. I don't seem to get them anymore and if it happens again I don't think I would care.

That's good to hear they cleared after a while. I've also had memories coming up through the day I haven't thought of in a while. Mainly at the moment around rejection.

And a bit of a note on protein bars. I ate only one today then didn't feel like another at all, even felt disgusted at the thought. BUT I went down the street after the gym and wanted to talk to a girl and this fear and guilt and other stuff come up and stopped me and when I went home I went and ate one nearly straight away. So though I solved alot of emotional eating in the process of losing weight, emotions around girls like this seems to be one of the triggers for it still.
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06-10-2016, 03:11 AM
Post: #11
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
(06-09-2016 05:31 PM)Benjamin Wrote:  Thanks man. I can't really say why I goto those addictions, the one before protein bars was kabana. Coffee I do love the taste, but probably the effect of it too.

But I do like your idea of changing it to something better. You could say in some ways I do have 'positive addictions' but I don't call them that. Like the gym some people would say that but I wouldn't call it an addiction, just something I love and benefits me.

I take fish oil most days, i'll have a look at l-glutamine. I'm not sure if that's in my protein powder or not.

All good man, I don't mind.

Anything that you enjoy that you do a lot of is also an addiction you just called anything negative an addiction but you can have positive addictions and so reframing/renaming to realise this will help you to realise it is better to have positive addictions than negative. The positive addictions will also help heal and cure you thus set you free.

Most protein shakes may have L-glutamine powder, I know many BCAA's do as do Caesin, but whey seldomly does, however that isn't the way it is to be taken for addiction. If your shake has it so be it, doesn't matter.

However for all forms of addiction, you need to take ideally 5gs (thats usually 1 teaspoon amount, heaped is good) with a little water just whenever you are about to eat or facing that addiction. Take it and wait 5mins. If the addiction goes it goes. If it persists, then just take 1 more teaspoon and see. If it still continues fine then just enjoy the addiction for that moment. But persist until this changes.

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06-10-2016, 05:37 AM (This post was last modified: 06-10-2016 05:47 AM by Benjamin.)
Post: #12
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
I wouldn't say that would be a positive thing at all. What I would call an addiction is something inherently bad and unhealthy. Framing these good things in that way feels horrible as it kind of sets up the frame of 'something you want to cure'.

It is much better thinking of the gym and such as something I love and feels more right. Thinking about it as an 'addiction' disempowers how I feel about the gym.

But cool, i'll look up the l-glutamine stuff.. I did briefly and seen that people use it to give up alcohol and stuff.. interesting.

One other thing I forgot to report is I also slept better last night, I usually have alot of problems sleeping. Hard to say if it's E2 unless it persists. Maybe it's something emotional because there's no real explanation for it except on the days I have a coffee a little late in the day.

After that fear come up earlier I set an intention in my mind for E2 to work on the fears around talking to girls. Just before someone shared this dumb shit on facebook. A photo of some guy who approached a girl and said something sexual and she took a photo of him and this dude on my facebook shared the original post to which I find retarded.

But it really hit me and made me go "ahh" like "what the ****, is it going to be so bad one day that itll be like.. oh this dude said hi to a girl". And no wonder I have this fear, first there's my more core issues causing it that need to be healed and stacked on top of it is all this dumb shit from society all my life.

I hope the fact that it come up and hit me emotionally like that means it's E2 working on healing something around that.

Anyway, time for bed. I actually look forward to what dreams I might get tonight. Even though the dreams had some fear in them I enjoyed the different quality of dreams E2 brings.
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Jake2015
06-10-2016, 06:15 AM
Post: #13
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
(06-10-2016 05:37 AM)Benjamin Wrote:  I wouldn't say that would be a positive thing at all. What I would call an addiction is something inherently bad and unhealthy. Framing these good things in that way feels horrible as it kind of sets up the frame of 'something you want to cure'.

It is much better thinking of the gym and such as something I love and feels more right. Thinking about it as an 'addiction' disempowers how I feel about the gym.

But cool, i'll look up the l-glutamine stuff.. I did briefly and seen that people use it to give up alcohol and stuff.. interesting.
Oh let me try and explain what I meant. Any addiction is usually bad, its terrible which is why changing it is paramount but very hard. If a person can therefore decide okay the opposite of this addiction is what I need, that is 99% of the time very healthy for you. If you switch from 1 addiction that is bad to 1 that is good and every time you are about to make the bad addiction move, you immediately choose the healthy addiction route, not only will you not miss the negative addiction because you are fuelling still with a new addiction but you will also do something health.

When you start anything that is healthy, then 99% of the time, the body will appreciate it, get what it needs and reduce it naturally because your giving it what it lacked.

There is a reason people are addicted to carbs more than chicken. Ive never heard of anyone crave chicken but everyone craves carbs, so swap the carb for fruit and thus start with sweet fruit then move to the lesser GI fruit and eventually to vegetables and then greens.

Its only when any of us feel we are depriving ourselves that we resort back to the initial bad habit or addiction but if we can remove 1 bad move with 1 positive move, then eventually we win. thats all I meant.

And yes L-G is great for many addictions. Chromium helps with carb addiction too, if anyone can benefit from this, chromium picolinate.

Having a diet rich in green leaves, such as smoothies and juices will help tremendously too.

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Benjamin
06-10-2016, 04:51 PM
Post: #14
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
Cool, that makes more sense. I had in my mind suddenly labelling good things addictions, but you meant replacing these bad things with something more positive. That sounds alot better.

Hahaa so true, like I eat steak all the time now but i'd never say i'm addicted to steak. But ***** chocolate protein bars, yes definately.

And though I eat very healthily now, vegetables and most of my eating is healthy and I kind of like them, well atleast not hate them. But i've never been like "oh my god i've got to have some vegetables like I go oh my god i've got to have a protein bar".

I'm pretty good on the smoothie part, have a juice with kale, celery, lemon, ginder, turmeric, apple cider vinegar and cayenne pepper every day. And green vegetables.

And I don't really eat many other carbs, haven't eaten bread, pizza or anything for like 3 years.
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Jake2015
06-10-2016, 05:14 PM
Post: #15
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
Last night was nowhere near as intense with dreams. The one dream I remember was about my dog, who died probably 10 years ago and I still actually miss her but don't think about her alot now. Well in the dream it wasn't specifically my dog, just the same breed.

There was another dog of the same breed who was kind of mutated or something attacking her and I was trying to get the other dog away.

And I woke up thinking about my dog and missing her again.. hmm. I have no idea what else to say about that, just reporting it.

On an unrelated note, this is kind of strange. I messaged 2 girls yesterday, one who asked me to hang out like a month ago, she replied once and then today didn't reply again and the submissive girl on tinder replied but she's being kind of an idiot.

And it has stuck me the lack of emotion connected to it compared to usual. Usually i'd be really angry and annoyed. The weird thing is i've been having the exact same thought process like "what the **** bitch is wrong with you etc" but there's a distinct lack of emotion and when I noticed that the thoughts died down a bit.

But i'm actually sitting here half wanting to feel those old feelings because that is what i'm used to and feel comfortable with, it feels kind of strange and wrong not to be pissed off at them.

It's kind of like behind that there is a little sadness but it's very dull and different than usual. Usually when I get past the anger there is that sadness but it is much more obvious.

Obviously yes there still is some caring because I feel 'wrong' not to have as strong emotions but it's a good sign. I'd so love to get to the point where either way if they answer or not, if they react positively or not that I am not attached emotionally to it and actually feel good about it.

Not having the strong emotions but feeling weird about not having them is a step in the right direction.

Anyone else had similar with E2? Not necessarily around girls or anything but with any area?
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06-10-2016, 05:23 PM
Post: #16
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
(06-10-2016 05:14 PM)Benjamin Wrote:  Not having the strong emotions but feeling weird about not having them is a step in the right direction.

Anyone else had similar with E2? Not necessarily around girls or anything but with any area?

Sure. I think disconnecting from negativity plays a big role here, as well as rejecting feeling like a victim. The program takes up those triggers by the root - and the result is not having a negative reaction. It does feel weird.

The good news, as well, is the changes persist. I'm so much more even-tempered, accepting, and happy.

It's just begun, dude! Even a few weeks from now, you'll look back and shake your head in amazement.
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06-10-2016, 06:00 PM (This post was last modified: 06-10-2016 06:03 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #17
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
Quote:It's just begun, dude! Even a few weeks from now, you'll look back and shake your head in amazement.

I like the sound of that Wink And funny i've only done 5 hours one day and 4 hours yesterday and not listened at night yet. It was so weird but cool that I didn't feel the same emotions but the thought process started and seemed to end after I realized I wasn't feeling the strong emotions.

It's pretty rainy and cold but I feel like going for a drive today to a shopping centre a few hours away. Near where the girl I was seeing lives, I haven't gone up there for this for ages. Or if I get halfway there and am like "Ahh" then ill just goto the other shopping centre I usually goto.

I decided to get 1 listen of E2 in before going and physical reactions are coming up.

A strange tightness in my stomach and some in my chest, combined with some sadness. It's too coincidental for it to just come up after I started listening. What it is I really have no idea. My thought was that listening a bit while that old pattern was coming up with girls (though improved) that it might help clear it more. Hope so.

Something I can probably say is that usually if I was feeling how I am today i'd stay home and not go anywhere but today despite how I feel I still plan to go out somewhere. Cool.

I'm actually even looking forward to just the drive and listening to music on the way.
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DisneylandUSA
06-10-2016, 08:21 PM
Post: #18
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
On listening to the sub; I can relate to the 'tightness of the chest' as well. And also, craving water VS. alcoholic beverages. I am craving more coffee than usual during morning and now, in the evening.

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Benjamin
06-10-2016, 11:10 PM (This post was last modified: 06-10-2016 11:11 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #19
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
I remember Shannon commenting early on after it was released when someone else had physical reactions that it's most likely something being worked on under the surface but it's designed so we aren't fully consciously aware of what it is.

Definitely makes sense especially if these physical responses weren't around before.

Ok I found it.. I have a document with some posts form Shannon about E2 that stood out for me..

Quote:It's the physical manifestation at a conscious level of some sort of reaction by the subconscious to the script, but what exactly it's responding to with that or why, I'm not sure. Could be a number of interesting things, but I have no way of knowing for sure, so anything I say amounts to wild speculation, which I'd rather not engage in.

The subconscious knows things "we" consciously don't, and does things based on that knowledge. And sometimes this seems to make no sense to the conscious mind because of that lack of knowledge of what is going on.

And...

Quote:They notice these sensations because there is specific scripting in this program both to make anything helpful for healing obvious to the conscious mind, and the self optimizing amplifier. In that case, generally these sensations would be the result of the subconscious trying to get the conscious on board by giving it obvious signals that it is indeed working, etc.
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06-10-2016, 11:38 PM
Post: #20
RE: Wholeness (EPRHA 2.0)
Went to the shopping centre, well the one that's closer to me anyway. Walked around for like an hour, got a massage.

After a while these feelings of loneliness, frustration at feeling invisible, insecurity, fear, whatever come up mainly around girls and more than in quite a while. Guess E2 is stirring it up.

Also had all these other memories around girls come up when I was driving, can't really remember what though.

I also randomly run into an old friend I hadn't seen for a year or so. Someone mentioned old people from their life in E2 showing up, but who knows.
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