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Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal
07-01-2016, 09:21 PM (This post was last modified: 07-01-2016 09:25 PM by Athena.)
Post: #21
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal
Hiya.

Yeah, it's subtle but I THINK EHPR 2 is helping to balance out my moods. I feel more likely to WANT to think positive, when I start to get in my funks. And less like life is hopeless. Sometimes, yes I still feel that and on a weekly basis! But less strongly than before, I think. :-) :-)

And while weekends can sometimes still be tough for me, that extra thinking time and at the moment too tired from work to rush around either (like I sometimes do)
I'm not getting in SUCH long funks and so down and I think the last couple of weeks, I've been a bit more able to relax and enjoy my weekends, without being SO plagued by the dark, despairing thoughts that love to come and find me at such times!

It's still not been easy but it's been easiER, you know? To enjoy a kindle book, a chat, a program a game, without it being so overshadowed by that depressing feeling that my life aint sheet. And it's incredibly nice to have a bit of a break from THAT. It's still there and on a weekly basis, but noticeably less strong.
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07-02-2016, 01:33 PM
Post: #22
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal
Sounds like you are making progress; 'Helping to balance out the moods,' that is great Smile

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Athena
07-02-2016, 11:05 PM
Post: #23
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal
Thank you, DisneylandUSA!
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07-02-2016, 11:06 PM
Post: #24
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal
I had a dream early this morning before waking up from it. It was about work stuff I have already been through that was quite stressful for all of us. I wondered why am I dreaming about work stuff that's done and dusted already and I didn't like going through the first time?!

But then I thought perhaps it's the sub and it's helping me clear some of that.
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Nox
07-03-2016, 04:48 AM
Post: #25
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal
(07-02-2016 11:06 PM)Athena Wrote:  I had a dream early this morning before waking up from it. It was about work stuff I have already been through that was quite stressful for all of us. I wondered why am I dreaming about work stuff that's done and dusted already and I didn't like going through the first time?!

But then I thought perhaps it's the sub and it's helping me clear some of that.

Sounds about right. Things need to be neutralized before they're really able to be put away.
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07-03-2016, 07:36 AM
Post: #26
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal
Hey Athena, I was reading your Attract your perfect bf journals. Since you've switched to EPHRA, has there been any progress on the dating front? I mean the guys who were texting you, did it go any further...or did it die down after you stopped with AYPB?

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07-03-2016, 07:29 PM
Post: #27
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal
Not at this point. An ex lover has come back into my life, not sure if I put that on the journal or not?

We matched on Tinder it was a hard decision which way to swipe him!

He still mostly talks sexually, but with him it's like there has ALWAYS been a bit more there too, like he's proposed to me in the past, introduced me to his mum etc. But he still wants marriage and kids and I don't and I still want a live-out boyfriend. And I am attracted but I've never been, like I've always had some attraction to him but not loads? But I like that he's smart and funny and SOME things about him are cute. So we text now and then and have talked about meeting but so far our schedules have clashed. So, I've said maybe during the summer. And there's also another guy very interested but I'm not attracted to him. I went to Plenty of Fish again too and tried hiding my profile and only messaging first to guys I thought seemed good. But I think i messaged 30 and got about 4 replies or 5 and one of those wasn't interested. And of the ones who WERE one was married which is a HELL NO for me!

So, not yet but I guess who knows? Nobody who i REALLY fancy. The last one was this guy Aaron a guy from Tinder and we chatted for a month and then he wanted to meet as did I but he disappeared.

And no dates since that Belgian guy, I think that was early June. That was a lovely date though. But he was just passing through.
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07-04-2016, 05:51 AM
Post: #28
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal
(07-03-2016 07:29 PM)Athena Wrote:  Not at this point. An ex lover has come back into my life, not sure if I put that on the journal or not?

We matched on Tinder it was a hard decision which way to swipe him!

He still mostly talks sexually, but with him it's like there has ALWAYS been a bit more there too, like he's proposed to me in the past, introduced me to his mum etc. But he still wants marriage and kids and I don't and I still want a live-out boyfriend. And I am attracted but I've never been, like I've always had some attraction to him but not loads? But I like that he's smart and funny and SOME things about him are cute. So we text now and then and have talked about meeting but so far our schedules have clashed. So, I've said maybe during the summer. And there's also another guy very interested but I'm not attracted to him. I went to Plenty of Fish again too and tried hiding my profile and only messaging first to guys I thought seemed good. But I think i messaged 30 and got about 4 replies or 5 and one of those wasn't interested. And of the ones who WERE one was married which is a HELL NO for me!

So, not yet but I guess who knows? Nobody who i REALLY fancy. The last one was this guy Aaron a guy from Tinder and we chatted for a month and then he wanted to meet as did I but he disappeared.

And no dates since that Belgian guy, I think that was early June. That was a lovely date though. But he was just passing through.

Damn that's romantic. /swoon
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Athena
07-04-2016, 09:07 AM (This post was last modified: 07-04-2016 11:28 AM by Athena.)
Post: #29
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal
LOL, Nox not sure if you're being sarcastic there! Or not. It made me giggle.
And, actually the date WAS romantic!
I nearly declined to meet as I knew he was only in my city for a few days on business and we might only get to meet one of those days, PLUS MONDAY after work was the best time to meet - terrible time slot for me! But I went for it and we chatted in a pub before going to a café nearby for dinner. (We split the bill.) the food was gorgeous I had yummy pizza & we had refreshing cokes - it was hot. And chatted some more. Then we walked back to the station after the chat, laughs & food and when we said bye, he pleasantly surprised me by kissing me! So I kissed him back and we kissed four times!

I didn't contact him till he was back in Belgium and he said it was nice and he enjoyed kissing me and wished we'd kissed more but he said if we HAD, it wouldn't have stopped with a kiss!

Though I said I'm glad it did stop there cos I'm trying to be good.

He was cuter in real life too! And gorgeous accent. So it WAS quite romantic, even though it's all the way back in early June now!
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07-04-2016, 09:14 AM (This post was last modified: 07-04-2016 11:28 AM by Athena.)
Post: #30
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal
There's also a third guy who JUST wants a hook-up...I've been "good" so far though
he would be interesting to be "bad" with. So that's love life in a nut shell & I probably WILL meet ex lover & one I don't like in that way (he knows) but meet as friends - we DO get on so far so why not. But that's all.

But no meeting anyway most likely for the next three weeks; work has been tiring, end of term, waiting till the holiday. So maybe end of this month?
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07-17-2016, 12:35 AM (This post was last modified: 07-17-2016 12:37 AM by Athena.)
Post: #31
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal
SO RELIEVED TO HAVE THIS!


My summer break is coming up soon and ironically when I have TOO MUCH time on my hands (and believe me I DO try to keep a bit busy doing fun stuff but also by that time I'm usually pretty exhausted from all the hard work at work) well, my mind tends to atrophy. My thoughts and my mood dip into a dark place.

Usually near the last week off I am back to feeling good again or at least more OK, but I'd love to NOT fall into that emotional psychological nadir THIS summer break. And I am hoping EHPR2 can and will help me there.

Overall, I feel like my moods and thoughts ARE less dark than they were, not in SUCH a bad place. And I am very grateful indeed. That, from what I can see, EHPR2 is one of the main things helping me keep on a more even keel. A bit - yet noticeably! - less down about life and a bit more grateful and hopeful. And THIS I REALLY REALLY appreciate.
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