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Arctic Fox's EPRHA V2 Journal
10-20-2015, 07:51 AM (This post was last modified: 10-21-2015 07:43 AM by ArcticFox.)
Post: #21
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
My latest post is here. I was going to put it here but was better suited to my intro page. Link to my Intro Post and ramblings http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5785.html

NEW - Basic Speaker Setup for Subliminals - HERE

My EHPRA Journal - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5779.html

My Intro and Ramblings - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5785.html
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10-22-2015, 03:48 AM (This post was last modified: 11-06-2015 05:31 AM by ArcticFox.)
Post: #22
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
Day 30
Days completed 15
Days missed = 15

So I need to do another 23 days to complete my 1st round of EPRHA Sad I'm planning on doing at least 3 rounds so this could take me a while!! Big Grin

What I've learnt so far is that the first 30 days is mostly trail and error based around getting a decent set-up that works consistently. Now i have this down I think i can get some good consistency and runs in. I noticed the best results were from a long run of successive 8+hr sessions. At this stage I haven't even scratched the surface of this sub. I now aim to get a really decent run to finish the 23 days.

NEW - Basic Speaker Setup for Subliminals - HERE

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10-27-2015, 03:16 PM
Post: #23
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
I have been back on tinder and think its important to note that I dont think I am worthy of a lot of the girls on there, because I dont have certain material things: house, car, etc.

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10-27-2015, 07:13 PM
Post: #24
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
(10-27-2015 03:16 PM)ArcticFox Wrote:  I have been back on tinder and think its important to note that I dont think I am worthy of a lot of the girls on there, because I dont have certain material things: house, car, etc.

You are worthy of everything.. my brother.

"We never lose our demons we simply learn to live above them."
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10-28-2015, 08:50 AM (This post was last modified: 11-06-2015 05:31 AM by ArcticFox.)
Post: #25
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
Day 36
Days completed = 20
Days missed = 16

(10-27-2015 07:13 PM)zainuu163 Wrote:  
(10-27-2015 03:16 PM)ArcticFox Wrote:  I have been back on tinder and think its important to note that I dont think I am worthy of a lot of the girls on there, because I dont have certain material things: house, car, etc.

You are worthy of everything.. my brother.
(10-27-2015 10:52 PM)templecity Wrote:  
(10-27-2015 03:16 PM)ArcticFox Wrote:  I have been back on tinder and think its important to note that I dont think I am worthy of a lot of the girls on there, because I dont have certain material things: house, car, etc.

It can get frustrating with Modern Day Women in General; That the Majority of Women look at 'material things' of Men... Perhaps, the Majority of Women sum up Especially, the Men's 'Ambition' Based on his assets, material things.

Thanks for the support brothers!

I guess its society that deems what people should have in terms of assets, by certain ages. **** society man! A pattern has emerged this week that typically by mid week I have a couple of 'angry day's' then by Friday I have a really good day, and feel positive. This could be due to the fact i have missed nearly every weekend of subs listening due to partying and travelling. I really want to get some long consecutive runs in, even 10+ days would be good!

Thinking of old negative loops:
  • Angry at people
  • regret I missed chance to buy a house
  • short tempered at work
  • havnt got time for people, their idiots
  • pedantic to people on the phone
  • Spiteful - still want to un-match girls on tinder because they havnt message me back.
  • Still havnt stepped out of my comfort bubble, need to go meet new people / go on dates - but to stuck in my bubble.

just some of the positives (hard to list as underlying work is difficult to spot but I know its helping):
  • much more productive and 'on it'
  • slowly getting round to some chores and jobs I've put off for a while.
  • being a bit bolder and upfront at work
  • holding eye contact with people i walk past (girls) without feeling weird, normally i look down/away quickly

Note: My dreams are always different and new, I used to have very repetitive dreams

NEW - Basic Speaker Setup for Subliminals - HERE

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Benjamin
10-28-2015, 05:05 PM
Post: #26
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
Seems like you're noticing positives sooner than I did on my EPRHA run! Keep it up man, it's only a matter of time and consistency Big Grin
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ArcticFox
11-02-2015, 12:21 PM
Post: #27
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
ARGH!

Ok, so a phone call with my parents sent me on a spiral. I'll keep it brief, it was a normal call, i told them im fine and nothing really going on, they then talk about family, moan, misery, couple good things, then goodbyes.

I wanted to call to cheer them up but i ended up being a bit of a nob and not really talking to them. I wasn't horrible in anyway but I didn't do what I wanted, which was to cheer them up! I'm smarter than that and I let my spiteful, angry side get the better of me.

Since after the call literally in my head, I'm like "f**k everything"!! Planning on staying on my own at xmas and not visiting my mum, dad, family. Same with friends, facebook, tinder, everything. Im just like "f**k all y'all".

But that attitude is in my head, so clear and so angry. Yet on the outside, in person im being normal, polite, friendly, even chatty. But the contrast to between external calm(ish) actions and internal angry, irrational emotions is night and day!

My thoughts are "are these subs actually working"?
"Can 30 minutes of affirmations on repeat really make such a big difference?
Other subs (weaker, old) ive done have given me a boost, not amplified the issues im trying to fix?"
"Is my setup ok, are the ultrasonic really working as I sleep?"

Very intersting time in terms of my progression, perhaps im experiencing the DROP in happiness and progress that Dezemoo has very kindly explained in his "Happiness scale" post?

Who knows, either way i need to use wisdom in my day to day actions as I could overstep the mark, explode, overreact, do something stupid - so im wise to it and need to stay in control.

What i Have noticed is my mind is making some really deep thoughts into why I have these problems, and what happened to me as a kid that has made me this way - some very long and deep "thinks" Smile

Thanks for checking in!

NEW - Basic Speaker Setup for Subliminals - HERE

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My Intro and Ramblings - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5785.html
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11-03-2015, 05:42 PM
Post: #28
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
What you detailed in your last post was very similar to what happened to me. I had the same doubts and I too thought a lot about why I am the way I am and what happened to me when I was younger.
I even felt internally incongruent like you are.

Everything will get better with time. I do think using a masked track for some of the day and ultrasonic for the rest would be slightly better. I did almost all of my EPRHA hours via ultrasonic, very few through masked. But with what I'm currently on, I feel a mix of the two is the best balance.

Keep it up and stick with it Smile
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11-06-2015, 05:34 AM (This post was last modified: 11-06-2015 05:37 AM by ArcticFox.)
Post: #29
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
Day 45

Days completed = 28
Days missed = 17

This has been the toughest week for me, all of the negatives that i want to clear up with this sub have been out in full force. I managed to overcome most of the temptations, but have been more negative and withdrawn than I would have liked.

I can sense the good that is coming out, I just need to keep going through this dark time to see the light - hopefully sooner rather than later.

NEW - Basic Speaker Setup for Subliminals - HERE

My EHPRA Journal - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5779.html

My Intro and Ramblings - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5785.html
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11-12-2015, 08:05 AM
Post: #30
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
Day 51

Days completed = 34
Days missed = 17

Neutral changes to report. Don't wake up with butterflies in belly when thinking about my lack of assets in real world, no house, wife, kids, etc - less regret. This has now changed into a why bother, too late, what's the point attitude - but its not painful.

I think this may be due to sub fatigue but i really have let myself go since doing the subs, don't run or train much any more, not studying or bettering myself, going out less, and indulging in destructive vices more, and more time on my own as well.

I'm still optimistic about the subs work, I just havn't noticed it yet, too soon. Also the fact I havn't completed 1 run yet.

Seeds of doubt are starting to crop up, surely all the exposure to subs should pick you up a bit, even in the very slightest short term? To be fair I've been more depressed than I've ever been.

NEW - Basic Speaker Setup for Subliminals - HERE

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11-12-2015, 07:08 PM
Post: #31
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
(11-12-2015 08:05 AM)ArcticFox Wrote:  Day 51

Days completed = 34
Days missed = 17

Neutral changes to report. Don't wake up with butterflies in belly when thinking about my lack of assets in real world, no house, wife, kids, etc - less regret. This has now changed into a why bother, too late, what's the point attitude - but its not painful.

I think this may be due to sub fatigue but i really have let myself go since doing the subs, don't run or train much any more, not studying or bettering myself, going out less, and indulging in destructive vices more, and more time on my own as well.

I'm still optimistic about the subs work, I just havn't noticed it yet, too soon. Also the fact I havn't completed 1 run yet.

Seeds of doubt are starting to crop up, surely all the exposure to subs should pick you up a bit, even in the very slightest short term? To be fair I've been more depressed than I've ever been.

Just stick with it man! I had the same level of depression you are talking about here. I even had thoughts about how the world is so f***** and how nothing matters.

By the end I felt like "The world may be going downhill, but I'm gonna enjoy it while I still can" in a calm controlled sort of way.
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ArcticFox
11-16-2015, 03:15 AM
Post: #32
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
Day 55

Days completed = 37
Days missed = 18

Another missed day to the tally, urgh!. Got 10 days to go for my first run of EPRHA. I did a 12 hour stint on Saturday night, was pretty drunk before going to bed and putting on the US. Hit me hard on Sunday. Had feelings of being trapped in a mental prison, felt like claustrophobia, like reality wasn't real and I'm inside this invisible bubble.

Freaked me out! Its the third time ive had this feeling now, ive never had it before so im hoping its a sign of my subconscious trying to deal with issues, and battling with itself trying to repress them by making me fearful.

I was actually close to not doing the sub on Sunday night, I was fearful to put it on and do it - but I went for it anyway. I guess this is what you call resistance! Hoping for a solid 10 day run now to finish my first stage. Going for 6 with this sub.

NEW - Basic Speaker Setup for Subliminals - HERE

My EHPRA Journal - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5779.html

My Intro and Ramblings - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5785.html
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11-19-2015, 02:43 AM (This post was last modified: 11-19-2015 03:55 AM by ArcticFox.)
Post: #33
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
Day 58

Days completed = 40
Days missed = 18
Days required to complete 1 stage: 18 * 0.5 = 9 | 32 + 9 = 41
So tonight is my last night for stage 1 completion ExclamationBig Grin

Thoughts of the day:
  • early this morning urge to shun friends and close off which is fairly normal for me, although I'm over reacting over much more trivial things to trigger this.
  • Some thoughts and feelings to getting my shit together, training, eating healthier, focusing on study, career.
  • Feels as if I'm just about to make some small break throughs, or at least on the very cusp!
I have a cycle (well before doing subs) of going through being lazy, indulging, procrastination, heavy frap over pron and back to be productive, healthy, exercising, natural desire for women (no pornhub). This cycle pretty much disappeared during this 1st run of EPRHA , and I just amplified all of the negative parts and supressed the positive parts.

NEW - Basic Speaker Setup for Subliminals - HERE

My EHPRA Journal - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5779.html

My Intro and Ramblings - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5785.html
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maxx55
11-19-2015, 05:01 PM
Post: #34
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
Good job on finishing your first month's worth of listening! You'll have much more self control and feel more centered in the coming months if you keep it up and listen every day!
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ArcticFox
11-20-2015, 01:22 AM
Post: #35
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
(11-19-2015 05:01 PM)maxx55 Wrote:  Good job on finishing your first month's worth of listening! You'll have much more self control and feel more centered in the coming months if you keep it up and listen every day!

Thanks for your continued support Maxx, I really appreciate it! Review of my first stage coming soon!

NEW - Basic Speaker Setup for Subliminals - HERE

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maxx55
11-27-2015, 09:13 AM
Post: #36
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
(11-19-2015 02:43 AM)ArcticFox Wrote:  Day 58

Days completed = 40
Days missed = 18
Days required to complete 1 stage: 18 * 0.5 = 9 | 32 + 9 = 41
So tonight is my last night for stage 1 completion ExclamationBig Grin

Thoughts of the day:
  • early this morning urge to shun friends and close off which is fairly normal for me, although I'm over reacting over much more trivial things to trigger this.
  • Some thoughts and feelings to getting my shit together, training, eating healthier, focusing on study, career.
  • Feels as if I'm just about to make some small break throughs, or at least on the very cusp!
I have a cycle (well before doing subs) of going through being lazy, indulging, procrastination, heavy frap over pron and back to be productive, healthy, exercising, natural desire for women (no pornhub). This cycle pretty much disappeared during this 1st run of EPRHA , and I just amplified all of the negative parts and supressed the positive parts.

I've really enjoyed your journal. I especially like how you're honest about what you see to be your negative hang ups. Especially the cyclical habits, which basically every human seems to have too much of. Some are just a bit more extended than others haha

I would like to add, though, that these negative behaviors are not always negative. Especially when going through your emotional and habit formed "junk" our minds often times DO need a break. Isolation and sexual release can be very helpful when our mind is processing a lot, which this sub seems to be doing. Be kind to yourself bro, you're making excellent headway in an area that most people are not brave enough to confront. If these things do come up again it might be because you're doing so well that you need a break. Keep going man, it's awesome to read about your progress!
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ArcticFox
12-01-2015, 05:50 AM
Post: #37
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
Thanks for the encouraging words Nox!

NEW - Basic Speaker Setup for Subliminals - HERE

My EHPRA Journal - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5779.html

My Intro and Ramblings - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5785.html
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12-01-2015, 07:01 AM (This post was last modified: 12-01-2015 07:15 AM by ArcticFox.)
Post: #38
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
Day 69 Big Grin

Days completed total = 50
Days missed total = 19
Stage 1 complete
Stage 2 started: 22nd November
Stage 2 Days = 9
Days missed = 0

On the last day of stage one I had a very vivid dream, one which did not fit into my normal repetition of standard dreams that i can remember. It was one of those dreams that you cant stop thinking about the next day, and every time you do you get the same deep feeling - good feeling in a way.

The dream in the very simplest of terms: we were samurai, 2 men, a woman and myself - all looked Japanese and were dressed in Japanese style robes - all very hazey and not clear. The 2 men felt like relatives, maybe farther and brother, the brother was not really in the picture. The woman was important to me but did not feel like a relative, maybe a girlfriend.

I had a Samurai sword and it was my job to kill the woman, but it didn't feel like a harsh thing, it as if this is what needed to be done. She was ready for death and excepted her situation.

She was on her hands and knees waiting for me to executer her - but again it didn't feel that bad, like not a real execution. The 2 men watched and waiting as I prepared to finish her. I slashed the sword across her face down and across, with each stroke her face blurred, this was not gory in any way, her face just become more blurred.

The job was done and the the 1 man to my right, which felt like my father gave the slightest nod of approval. Following this i went to another room and looked inside a box which belonged to the woman (my girlfriend perhaps), in it a found a large disc shaped token with a dragon on it, the picture represented the woman and upon seeing it I instantly began to cry HEAVILY, like more than I have in a long time and it felt very real!! I then cried a second time. All due to the sadness of the woman no longer being present. Dream over.

When I woke up the first thing I thought was I hope i cried for real, but then realised it was a dream and I hadn't in fact cried in reality - you know that feeling when you first wake up and think it was real.

I have waited until now to post about this as it felt good in a way and I didn't want to ruin the mystery around the dream.

I'm not looking for any kind of comments or meaning about the dream, but if you do want to comment on what you think it all means then please PM me, don't post 'em here.

Thought his was a rather fitting end to my first stage of EPRHA.

NEW - Basic Speaker Setup for Subliminals - HERE

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12-07-2015, 01:52 PM
Post: #39
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
Thanks for the PMs on the dream. I feel the emotion has detached now so feel free to comment here!

I need to go back and try to tap on this I think!

NEW - Basic Speaker Setup for Subliminals - HERE

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12-21-2015, 08:54 AM (This post was last modified: 12-21-2015 09:13 AM by ArcticFox.)
Post: #40
RE: Andy's EPRHA Journal
Day 89

Days completed total = 66
Days missed total = 23
Stage 1 complete
Stage 2 started: 22nd November
Stage 2 Days = 25
Days missed = 4

Had a really tough end to stage 1 and was hoping stage 2 was going to get better. Got a very good start and had a nice combo run of consecutive days.

Things got worse during this run; I was very irritable, angry at friends, colleagues, just pissed off at life and everyone!! Hard to believe this now but I was soooo close to sacking the sub altogether.

I couldn't believe that a repetition of subliminal positive words repeated every 30 minutes for 8 hours would have no positive impact and even worse create negative emotions and make things worse for me!!

I persevered with the sub and had an accidental break when my sleep hones fell off one night (I switched to these as i thought US on speakers was causing anger issues).

After the break things started to get better or at least not get worse, I switched back to my speakers an US and continued on my journey. I've missed Thursday, Friday and Saturday due to partying and xmas parties. the break has done me the world of good though!!!

I got laid at the xmas party Big Grin This obviously made my weekend, really pretty petite blonde with a killer bum! But more importantly this is the first time ive got laid since splitting up with my ex a year ago!!!

This has helped me get over her so much more, and I wish i could have done it earlier! Its released so much of my tension and feel like im getting my mojo back!! Big Grin

NEW - Basic Speaker Setup for Subliminals - HERE

My EHPRA Journal - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5779.html

My Intro and Ramblings - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5785.html
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