Post Reply 
Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
10-23-2014, 03:26 AM (This post was last modified: 10-23-2014 03:50 AM by Ivaylo.)
Post: #1
Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
Hey guys! I've been lurking around the forums for quite a while now, but I never actually felt the need to join in the discussions.

Actually, I didn't *need* to join even now. I'm very heavily under the impression, that the more BASE starts to settle in, the less I would need to journal anything. However, I would like to give back to this great community here, since you guys helped me a lot without even knowing it. I'm becoming more and more aware, that this is the healthy/right thing to do. Especially with BASE being mostly about creating value.

Some background:
So, I'm 26 years old, from Bulgaria. My country is currently in a pretty bad shape financially compared to most of Europe. However, since I've been into SEO/IM for about seven years now, that has very little influence on my success as an entrepreneur.

I used to be pretty successful. Before some algorithmic updates in Google kicked in, I was doing pretty well, with a very comfortable passive income that I had to do very little to maintain. However, I was pretty immature as well. I just enjoyed the passive income, without reinvesting and diversifying my income streams.

I used to spend my free time learning about all kinds of self-help stuff, including NLP, EFT, Sedona Method. Back then I mostly used those to get better with girls, although I did use NLP-type stuff in all my sales copy. I got pretty good at those techniques (and improvising with them, of course), at least according to feedback from friends. (the feedback was really over the top in some cases) So it wasn't all unproductive.

My goals:
So right now, I'm starting almost from scratch. Except for all the experience I already have, of course. I do have one subscription-based SEO service, that me and a friend are running together and it has some profit. One affiliate site is still making some money occasionally, despite me not being able to find it anywhere in Google.

I'm becoming more oriented towards building brands. Two SEO-related pieces of software I'm involved in are going to launch in the next month. One is an online platform, the other is desktop-only (for now). My goals are to find and capitalize on any opportunity I find in this area, while also building a self-help digital product empire.

I am also working on learning programming. I would like to communicate better with the teams of programmers, that I'm working with. I don't intend to start writing software myself, but I do want to understand in depth what is happening and what needs to be done.

BASE Progress:

Stage 1, day 13
I'm highly impressed with the effect this sub has on me. I've never been so productive in my life. I'm focused, I need very little rest, and I distract myself with a TV series episode only when absolutely want to.

Last night was the first night in the last 2 weeks, where I needed as much as 7 hours of sleep. That was only because I got about 3-4 hours of sleep two nights in a row before that because of a common cold. Before that, I went 10 days straight on 5-5.5 hours of sleep, waking up refreshed, motivated and fully ready for work. Before the sub started, 7 hours was the minimum for me.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 5 users Like Ivaylo's post:
Mystic Pymp, zen, TheChosenOne, Mr. Anderson, LionKing
10-23-2014, 04:13 AM (This post was last modified: 10-23-2014 05:40 AM by Alpha360.)
Post: #2
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
Thanks for the posting, while you think you don't need to join, there is always a benefice from it.
I was thinking the same thing before joining and writing. Then I realize that I couldn't have found all the thing that I found without writing and getting feedback from the forum.

Everything you read from me is unless indicated otherwise my opinion so you are free to not agree with me. I expect that a lot of people won't agree with me, it's fine, it's normal, it's life.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-23-2014, 04:46 AM (This post was last modified: 10-23-2014 04:48 AM by Ivaylo.)
Post: #3
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
Well, I did 150 days of EPRHA before starting BASE, but it was always more of a preparation, than a journey in itself. I was already doing tapping, releasing, etc and I did not find much change in my behavior from that particular sub. Although EPRHA did give me a great appreciation for maturity and how my previous immaturity had affected my life.

BASE, however, is a journey for me. A journey is easier if you know there are other people going through a similar thing. And yeah, you're right about the benefits. I'm already feeling a huge release of energy just by starting this journal.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-23-2014, 07:48 AM (This post was last modified: 10-23-2014 07:49 AM by koshas.)
Post: #4
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
How many hours of sub use are you doing every day?

"Your purpose explains what you are doing with your life. Your vision explains how you are living your purpose. Your goals enable you to realize your vision." - Bob Proctor
"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, or the past,but you can change yourself." -- Jim Rohn
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-23-2014, 10:29 AM
Post: #5
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal

Somewhere around 10-12 hours a day. I've been trying to get used to sleeping with sleepphones, but for some reason I still find them uncomfortable.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-23-2014, 06:07 PM
Post: #6
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
(10-23-2014 10:29 AM)Ivaylo Wrote:  @koshas

Somewhere around 10-12 hours a day. I've been trying to get used to sleeping with sleepphones, but for some reason I still find them uncomfortable.

I had problems at first using subs while sleeping .but I became accustomed to it.
I bought a pair of sleep is made to wear during is a fleece headband with 2 thin speakers inside.i can sleep on my side with no problems.

"Your purpose explains what you are doing with your life. Your vision explains how you are living your purpose. Your goals enable you to realize your vision." - Bob Proctor
"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, or the past,but you can change yourself." -- Jim Rohn
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-24-2014, 04:49 AM (This post was last modified: 10-24-2014 04:49 AM by Ivaylo.)
Post: #7
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal

Yeah, I have a pair of sleep phones. You must have misread above. Smile

I got the one-size-fits-most size, and apparently I have a big head, because there's quite a bit of pressure on my forehead.
Not very comfortable for sleeping. I'll have to find something to stretch them out with.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-27-2014, 01:24 PM (This post was last modified: 10-27-2014 01:35 PM by Ivaylo.)
Post: #8
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
Today, it has become quite apparent to me that my way of thinking and behaving has undergone a complete change. It literally feels as if I'm in a different body than before. This body experiences different kinds of emotions, which make it act in subtly different ways. I've had more superficial experiences like this, but never such a deep, complete change. (at least as far as I can tell)

So, a little backstory. 2-3 days ago, I found myself resisting the subliminal furiously. It was as if I did everything I could to stop it from working. I was sick, I played video games throughout the day, I ate junk food even though it was making me sicker... and to top it off, I got to bed in 3.30 AM when I knew I needed rest and should have gone sooner.

I rationalized the time-wasting by thinking that I couldn't work when I'm sick. However, when I lied in bed in 5AM, still "unable" to go to sleep, somehow I became aware I was sabotaging myself and decided to do everything to stop.

Now, there's this discussion going around the forums of whether you should use other emotional clearing methods with the subs. For me, the answer turned out to be a resounding yes. In that particular situation, it was as if part of me was ready to let me die, instead of change. I was really getting worse physically. That's probably why everything is so different now.

How I used emotional clearing:

Really easy approach. Nothing, that Shannon hasn't already said actually. (if I understood him correctly Big Grin)
The subs give us an inner voice, that always tells us what to do according to the goals of the sub (and our perfect expression of them). To notice that inner voice, you would just need to get out of your head and feel your body. Feel your body and where and how it drives you to behave. For me, sometimes I only need to remind myself of the feature list of 80-something points in Shannon's journal to start feeling where my body wants me to go and what to do. At other times, I already have the inner feeling from the get-go.

Then... just clear the resistance. The great thing about Shannon's subs for me is that the biggest change has already happened. I already know how the new "me" fits together, I already know it's safe and natural to be that person. I just have to clear the rest of the resistance. It probably could happen by itself, but why wait? After all, the more change happens in the first stage, the more you can build on it in the latter stages.

I wouldn't necessarily use tapping, sedona or whatever to install new beliefs. I assume that 80k+ words of instructions per stage know better than anything I can think of consciously. That's why I'm just using it to get out of the the way and let the sub work.

I hope that's helpful to somebody. It definitely felt good to write it. Smile

P.S. I think I'm getting better at selling. That whole thing seems very sales-letter-y in its approach of delivering information. Big Grin
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like Ivaylo's post:
Fonzy3, Zyggy, FREAK4LIFE
10-30-2014, 12:45 AM (This post was last modified: 10-30-2014 12:46 AM by Ivaylo.)
Post: #9
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
Stage 1, day 19

A lot of feeling of worthlessness is going away. I realized that up to now, even when I'm objectively good at something (i.e. getting results), I've always explained that away with "being able to fake it". And to top it off, I've felt guilty for leading other people on. It sounds absurd, and I get that now.

That whole thing has to go away. There's a difference between doing (impressive) things effortlessly and being fake. The former comes from tons of practice (which I've done), the latter comes from arrogance. I guess I'll have to give myself credit for being dedicated and stop hiding.

In other news, the software developers I'm working with seem to be way behind schedule. Hopefully this Saturday I'll know more, but one piece should have already entered beta-phase and it hasn't. Judging by a phone call with the guy, it doesn't sound like it's near beta.
I used to think, that giving software developers a cut of the profits will motivate them to work their @ss off. Make them feel as part of the project, you know? Now, it seems as if negotiating a fixed price would have been a better option for all involved. The good news is that I still have no competition and there seems to be a lot of demand, which is nice.

The scripting about managing people doesn't start until stage 2 or 3 if I remember correctly. Really can't wait to get there. All the productivity in the world is worthless if I have nothing to get my hands dirty with. I'll have to spend some time developing a self-help product for a relatively uncompetitive niche. That should be fun, although not as fun as testing my own SEO software.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Ivaylo's post:
Fonzy3, TheChosenOne
11-04-2014, 04:54 AM
Post: #10
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
Stage 1, day 25

In the last five days, I've been reading a lot. And I mean, A LOT. I burned through David Deida's "Way of the superior man" again, Peter Thiel - Zero to One, some audio self-help seminars (Jerry Stocking - Unconditional Sex), and I'm currently reading Mantak Chia - The Multi-orgasmic Man.

I feel a real hunger for new information and I'm not sure if that's procrastination, or doing what's needed to build me up to where I want to be. I tend to think it's the latter, because I can truly see each one of those books I mentioned as being beneficial in terms of becoming an entrepreneur.

Especially Mantak Chia's book seems to be able to pay off greatly in terms of creativity and motivation. If I understand it correctly, having more energy will also give BASE more "resources" to work with.

I'm also, out of curiosity, giving "The Lean Startup" a chance, although I would rather not read more books on entrepreneurship. However, this book seems to be quite popular in entrepreneurs' circles so at least I would like to be able to hold a conversation about it.


Otherwise, the person, who's doing one of my software projects is still out of reach, we have another arrangement to hear each other tonight. I think I'll have to be more bossy with him, because our current business relationship doesn't seem to work.

The guys, who are working on the other project, are taking their time trying to make it perfect. Consequently, they are starting it from scratch for the second or third time (I lost count Big Grin). The piece of software is pretty simple and straightforward, so I'm pretty sure they're trying too hard. I've mentioned that, but I can't seem to get through to them. I used to think that being bossy hurts business relationships, but in these cases, it seems like the only working solution.

So, I desperately need some people managing skills. BASE apparently doesn't include such programming until stage 4, so I'll be experimenting with that on my own. I still feel the drive to do so from the programming I'm currently getting.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
11-05-2014, 02:21 AM
Post: #11
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
There is a difference between being bossy and being firm. Lead with confidence, self assurance and assertiveness. State the facts. This does not work for me. This is the issue. I need this instead. You can do it without being a jerk, but sometimes being bossy is what gets the job done. You're worried that someone might not like you still. That does not get business success accomplished when you're working with people who are doing a job for you. Be reasonable, be understanding, be polite... but also be firm, clear in communicating what you need and want, and factually to the point with confidence and without worrying what they think of your assertiveness. The end goal is success, not letting others drag you down as they take advantage of you and waste their time and yours. Perfectionism has to be balanced with getting bills paid.

In all this, you need to be able to find that balance between nice/understanding/polite and assertive/firm/direct/motivational. The leadership aspects don't come in right away because there are other things that must be installed first and that those things must be built upon. But you can work on them before you get there from the sub.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.)
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Shannon's post:
DameKim, Morgul
11-05-2014, 06:59 AM (This post was last modified: 11-05-2014 07:01 AM by Ivaylo.)
Post: #12
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
Thanks, Shannon. Usually in these situations I consciously alternate between the two extremes in my behavior until I learn what exactly is appropriate and works in any given moment. Your advice seems to also be along these lines. Bossy is simply the other extreme of what I was doing up to this point, not the default state I'm aiming at. Although I do realize I didn't make that clear before.

I also enjoyed your mention of being motivational. Since we're partners, I somehow considered that it's their own responsibility to keep themselves motivated. Now it seems foolish that I thought so. After all, I'm the one with the vision of how these programs will satisfy people's needs and possibly dominate a market. It's only natural that I'm able to get much more excited about it. I think I have to be more transparent about this in my communication with them and definitely try to find what motivates them. Right now, I know absolutely nothing about that. And then I wonder why things don't work.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
11-14-2014, 06:58 AM (This post was last modified: 11-14-2014 07:00 AM by Ivaylo.)
Post: #13
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
Stage 1, day 32 + 3

This is my last day of stage 1. I decided to add 3 extra days because I couldn't get enough listening time while I was sick.

I'll start with the only negative impression I had over the last month. Out of all the programming for stage 1, the only one I'm not satisfied with is "Goal orientation" and to a lesser extent - "Action orientation". The truth is, this may not be the subliminal's fault.
One of the guys, who was developing software for me is officially fired. He forgot about our meeting (twice) because he had other things on his mind. My management skills have to improve a lot before I start benefiting from "goal orientation".
Right now, I'm disappointed of myself for how this month has gone in this regard. Not a big deal, since this is just stage 1, but still. The only mistake I actually made was to devote a lot of critical tasks to people, who didn't live up to my expectations. Top short-term priority for me is to learn from that. With direct experience and some help from the sub, the only way to go is up.

Other than that, I have no words for what BASE is doing. I can't even call it "change", that's how natural it feels. I only know that I've never experienced such constant, coherent, well-grounded personal growth in my life. All emotional healing techniques and thought systems that I've studied over the years are now elegantly put into perspective by BASE. All my knowledge and skills to this point seem to serve one goal.
Before BASE, my goals used to be all over the place. I would go for something just because it seems interesting at the moment and from then, it depended on for how long it would keep me interested. I suspect that "losing interest" was my euphemism for "scared of being a lot more successful". Whatever it was, it is gone.

Other improvements I've noticed:
- I'm better at connecting emotionally with people.
- Consequently, I'm better at influencing people when I want to. (sales success)
- The topic of money used to induce anxiety for me before starting the sub, now it doesn't.
- Although I've always considered myself a good learner, I've never been this aggressive and effective about learning what I need to learn
- I sleep about 6 hours per day. Usually at this time of the year, I would need about 7.5 - 8.
- I'm much more concerned with my own opinion and I only take into account other people's opinions when I absolutely want to. I'm instantly able to discern whether it's beneficial for me to hear a person out, and when it's better to ignore them. When I reflect on my choices later on, I always find out I've made the right one.
- I'm much more inclined to see the value of (and make) mature decisions, even if they are uncomfortable and far out of my usual comfort zone.
- I experience a lot of fulfillment out of simply doing something and doing it right. (great for further motivation)
- I'm a lot more confident about speaking up with authority and presenting myself as such.
- I'm getting more and more comfortable perceiving myself as a high value human being in business and in romance/seduction.

I can go on and on. There are all kinds of improvements I'm noticing. There are also a lot of improvements, that over the course of this month I've already started taking for granted. Smile
The most impressive thing for me, however, was how my overall view shifted. As I said, I used to self-sabotage a lot. I still do, actually, but I'm deeply certain that entrepreneurship and/or making change in the world is the only worthwhile way to live. My self-sabotaging behaviors will have to bend to this commitment sooner or later.

Externally, there have been some positive developments, that at this point I'd rather not go into details. It's nothing that will explode my progress as an entrepreneur, but exactly what I need to keep me going. All the actual entrepreneurial programming is yet to come.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 8 users Like Ivaylo's post:
Pau Ko, FREAK4LIFE, ImFreeman, zen, brightike, TheChosenOne, DameKim, Aventus45
11-19-2014, 05:15 PM (This post was last modified: 11-19-2014 05:26 PM by Ivaylo.)
Post: #14
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
Out of necessity I have to internalize, that I'm beginning to seem like a prize for women. I'm dead serious. It's not going to be easy, but it is necessary for me to function well in social situations. In the last 10 days, I would say I've had about 1 'incident' per every 2 hours, in which I'm in a social setting.

Just off the top of my head:
- Female cashiers and sale assistants in general flirt shamelessly in at least 50% of my interactions with them. One particular awkward over-the-top 'incident' from today made me think I have to start considering such events as likely so that I can react better.
- Another particular story involving a cashier is from a few days ago. I went to a small 24/7 supermarket close to my home to get a snack. It was around midnight. I get to the cashier only to find that I left my wallet at home and I can't pay for what I wanted to get. The woman at the cash register (in her mid 30s) insists that I should just take it and pay for it the next time I'm there. I go back home, I get my wallet and return to the store to make things right. She says in a sad voice that there was no need to do that because she knew I was honest. I have never met her before in my life.
- I'm passing a quite cute girl on the street. She locks eyes with me for a split second, then gets a 'deer in headlights' look and starts looking down at the pavement with a mischievous smile, avoiding my gaze, as she passes me by. I'm not sure if I'm describing it properly, but I'm almost sure I intimidated her a lot.
- Quite a lot of eye contact from girls on the street in general. I guess I'm more comfortable making eye contact with complete strangers, so that helps too.
- Female acquaintances, whom I haven't seen for a long time, now universally greet me with at least a huge smile and lots of eye contact. Some of them are even single. Smile I can't help but think, that they are just being polite, although it could very well be something else. Still, it's a noticeable change.

I can't remember such things happening before with such frequency. I would imagine this is happening because I'm a lot less focused on girls and a lot more on myself and where I'm going in life. I haven't followed up on any girl's signals, though. I could try, but I don't have any interest in a relationship or even sex right now and I'm sure that's going to influence the outcome. Smile
I have this prejudice that I will only waste my time. That might be true, although I think there's a lot of insecurity there as well. I haven't completely developed the habit to take care of myself first.
I'm getting a clearer vision of how I can become a true innovator and entrepreneur in the last few days. As this vision develops, I'm guessing it will get easier and easier for me to make my needs a priority all the time. BASE will probably help as well. I intend to put my romantic and sexual needs on hold until then, unless I find a way to make it all work.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
11-28-2014, 01:57 PM
Post: #15
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
Stage 2, day 15

I'm hitting great amounts of resistance in the last few weeks. Procrastination has gone way up and I can't seem to motivate myself or focus on doing anything productive. I've been thinking of using brainwave entrainment to solve that problem, but I always seem to forget, which I can also attribute to resistance.
Well, probably things have to get worse before they can get a lot better. I'm exposing myself to the subliminal regularly, though, so hopefully I'll get to a breakthrough soon.

Otherwise, I can now easily see how wrong I was in my approach with people before. As a result I'm witnessing myself developing more inspiring and challenging (in a good way) relationships. It still feels a bit unnatural to me, but that will go away with time.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Ivaylo's post:
12-08-2014, 04:56 PM
Post: #16
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
any updates Ivaylo?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
12-09-2014, 02:31 AM
Post: #17
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
Hi, zen

I've decided to mostly use this journal to process things. Writing them in front of me seems like a great way to do that. However, this also means less entries, but hopefully more honest and useful to others.

So, I overcame my lack of productivity about 12 days ago. I was very productive for about a week. Then, there was this entrepreneurship get-together event, there was alcohol and a girl involved, and on the next day I just didn't feel like working. That extended to about 4 days of total non-productivity, playing "Dead State", which I was waiting to come out for a long time. Now I'm getting back on track again.

I'm truly having fun learning and doing my job as an entrepreneur. Old habits kick in and try to distract me from time to time. Sometimes, obviously, they succeed. But I know it's not in my best interest - not financially and not emotionally. Playing games can be fun for a while, and probably still will be in moderation, but I find that no game is as fulfilling to me as the challenge to create and ever-improve great/successful products and services. I'm just as hungry for this now as I was 5 days ago about playing Dead State.

In terms of actual work, I killed one of the two projects I've had in mind when I started BASE. It was a race for who can get to a working solution for the problem first. Well, add an infantile programmer, who can't keep his word to save his life, to the equation and it's easy to figure out why the project is dead. I take full responsibility for hiring the wrong person, of course. The other project, though, should be ready in two weeks maximum.

I'm working on something completely different now, and probably I'll have to use kickstarter to fund it. It should be a low-to-medium sized project in terms of programming work. I first need to figure out how to best use the money I get, though.
I still feel a bit like a fish out of the water when it comes to hiring people to do programming for me. Friends and acquaintances, whom I can trust to a certain degree, all have jobs and not that much free time for other work. Paying someone anonymous (to me) on the web still doesn't guarantee results plus the added risk of being scammed. After all, the web developer will know my website's vulnerabilities. There have to be ways to minimize the risk, and that's one of the things I'm going to research.

I'm definitely making progress with being a leader on my own, but I'm still at that stage where an overwhelming amount of new things for me to consider pop up every day. At some point this storm has to subside, or at least become manageable, but it's not going to be right now.

Stage 3 starts in about a week. A lot of stuff from stage 2 is not present there, the most obvious things for me being "Ultra Success" and "Laser like focus and concentration". We'll see how that plays out.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
12-12-2014, 03:20 AM
Post: #18
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
It looks like that BASE is the new WM.
I like your journal because I work at the same of luck.

where attention goes energy flows and result show
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
12-12-2014, 09:01 AM
Post: #19
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
Great to see another SEO/IMer here. Thanks for the wishes! Smile

Regarding the comparison with WM, I have thought about that as well. BASE focuses a lot on social skills, so there's probably room for comparison with WM. BASE also makes me learn new things every day, everything I learn is more structured and I have great confidence talking about those subjects. This all can make for very interesting conversations, which aside from the professional benefits, can also work to solidify an initial attraction with some types of girls.

However, I don't think I'll develop into a playboy and an entrepreneur at the same time, although the thought has crossed my mind. My confidence as a human being and as an entrepreneur has improved a lot, but the same cannot be said about being a playboy, as far as I can tell. Confidence comes with action and experience (and subliminal programming Big Grin), and I'm not actively working toward becoming a playboy. I would expect that WM will push people a lot more in that general direction and get better results faster.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
12-18-2014, 10:37 AM
Post: #20
RE: Ivaylo's BASE 2.0 Journal
Last day of stage 2 for me. Strangely enough, I appear to be much more emotionally stable internally, although it might look different from the outside. Smile

Shannon's feedback in Quote's thread put a lot of details from my experience into perspective. I'm resisting forgiveness, that's for sure. Forgiveness in this case means allowing other people to do things, that seem unproductive. It seems that it has to be self-forgiveness as well, since I was the one to choose to associate with such behaviors and waste, literally, years doing them. Forgive and take responsibility for yourself - that seems to be the way out of this.

Another insight I got was regarding my procrastination issues from this month. The thing is, I was only playing games, that got me to manage stuff. Dead state is somewhat of a managerial game. While playing it in and of it self isn't productive to business, I believe it gave me the training wheels I needed to start my way to becoming a manager. I find it completely non-interesting now (although I'm probably halfway through), because I'm ready for a larger context, in which to practice my managerial skills. I might (and probably will) screw up a lot, but I'm ready for it and I'm guessing that's what BASE was leading me towards. In a way, I was right - it was resistance, but there was also growth taking place.

I'm not going to list any changes I'm witnessing, because my sight is firmly on my goals and vision. I truly don't care how exactly I'm changing, as long as I reach my goals and keep my integrity. I guess that's still reporting a change, because I didn't use to be like that. Anyway, stage 3 starts tomorrow.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply 

Forum Jump:

User(s) browsing this thread:
1 Guest(s)

Return to TopReturn to Content