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Andrew's BAMM Journal
03-01-2013, 07:49 PM
Post: #61
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
Well, still catching up. I've had some "duty" obligations to fulfill over at theSoup.org. Still building things up over there but progress is slow and steady.

I really want to write the next big journal entry, but I have to catch up before that so my mind is centered and focused enough on the big picture. Travelling can sure make to-do's pile up! I'm hoping I can get all caught up tomorrow, but it may take both saturday and sunday Sleepy

Andrew // Site Architect
"Truest SUCCESS is but the development of self" - Charles Atlas
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03-03-2013, 10:10 PM
Post: #62
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
The journal I really want to write keeps getting pushed back. But, it's for very, very legit reasons. What a roller coaster...BAMM you joker you...

A lot of it lately has been writing important things over at thesoup.org . So you know what? I'm not going to predict again when I'm going to write this journal post. All I know is there's things I need to finish before I can write it. Stage 3 is coming up but I'm not going to force it. I'll get that journal entry out there when it's right Smile

Andrew // Site Architect
"Truest SUCCESS is but the development of self" - Charles Atlas
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03-12-2013, 01:07 AM (This post was last modified: 03-12-2013 01:10 AM by Andrew.)
Post: #63
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
Death

Growth must inevitably result in death of the old, death through molting. The old must die, yes I must leave it behind. No matter how painful, I have outgrown my own skin. Faith, yes, faith that life will not continue the same as before. A brighter tomorrow I shall find, a tomorrow in which I will grow again.

As promised, I said I'd write when the time was right. I'm already on stage 3 and have been so nearly a week, but it takes about 1-2 weeks of a new stage to start noticing effects, and usually an equal amount of time to wrap up lessons from a previous stage. The sum of stage 2 reached its apex tonight. I haven't dealt with such drastic change since AM '08. I wan't to fight, I want to weep, I want to talk to anyone at all, I want someone to comfort me, I want a distraction...any distraction, so I can go back into my old shell and hide, that old skin I know so well. But there is no one here. No one responding on IM, too late to call anyone, I am alone. As I should be, and this is no coincidence. Except, I'm not really alone. My grandfather died when I was 10 or 11. Can't really remember when, but I remember his funeral well. A couple years before he died he developed Alzheimer's so I have spare few memories of who he really was. He was the artist that inspired my mother to paint and his skill was comparable to watercolor legends of old. I am his only male heir. He would always call me "handrew" since I was a lefty and so I'd certainly be an artist (actually mostly ambidextrous now). Drove me nuts...I was not an artist back then, I could hardly draw the outline of a bird. I couldn't play music, there was nothing artistic about me. Nothing, I started with zero skill in all art, probably even negative if there's such a thing. I've payed in blood, sweat and tears for every little inch of artistic ability I have. But he was right, I was to become an artist, and much more.

When he died, he left some things for me. They were transferred to my grandmother (she is 95 now and my last remaining grandparent) and then transferred to my mother. They were to be given to me when I was "ready". I was visiting my parents over the weekend, showing my mother some carving techniques and seemingly out of nowhere my mother mentioned that he had left some things for me...she had completely forgotten and had just remembered. One of the things he left me was a handmade swiss diver's watch from the 60's or 70's (worth a lot now, back then too). I put it on...it fit perfectly. I've never been much for watches...I grew up on technology, if I want the time I bring up any of 6 different digital devices, none of them a watch. But I'm a man of style, and I was immediately drawn to it as an accessory. I sort of remembered he had style, but I had assumed I was the only one on both sides of the family to dress sharp and not cut corners when it comes to self-presentation. Well, I wasn't the only one... It fit like a glove to pair with everything in my closet. To continue I will have to go back a few days first.

The last few days, I knew something had to give. I knew that I was going to have to deal with something major, or I would be dealing with it in next year's stage 2 (explained in next post). I knew a lot of what was the problem, but I didn't want that old part of me to die. I broke my schedule and went to my family as I was getting lonely and experiencing mood swings. My intuition of course, also told me this was necessary (that O.E.). Fast forward to the watch. I started wearing it the last couple days, and noticed it had a very, very big conscious and subconscious effect on me. I don't know what it was, years of society programming about classy watches, movies...I guess it doesn't matter. But ever since I put that watch on I couldn't stop looking at it, nor noticing how I felt. I felt more confident than ever. Successful, capable, Alpha to a degree I had thought to be myth. So a little farther forward to tonight. I was faced with going to the symphony concert that I could not participate in due to injury (although the injury turns out was necessary, and it was essential for my growth to not participate anymore), and I saw my old "family" play. I saw a woman I have feelings for but we are not compatible at this point in time. My fingers moved along automatically with the violins. The concertmaster (a woman) got a lot of solo-sections this time. A lot, and they weren't easy. All of a sudden I no longer looked at her as a brat upstart, but as attractive. I saw the program that (should?) have had my name. I saw two fellow alpha males who sat next to me sit "skinny" because I'm radiating so much alpha now people just make room for me. I saw so many things that told me that now it was time to move on, that things were a-changin'. I felt the last of a "boy" in me dying. It hurt. It hurt a lot. And then, I saw the watch, I felt the watch, and I said "Thank you Grandpa."

Andrew // Site Architect
"Truest SUCCESS is but the development of self" - Charles Atlas
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03-12-2013, 01:15 AM
Post: #64
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
This post is a logical deduction continuation of the previous post.

As stated, stage 2 was rough. Really rough. In the beginning it helped me make sure I would always do what I said I would. Just accomplishing all my "to-do's" and "daily" tasks meant a successful day. But my available time working on business projects suffered. But I trusted BAMM would allow me to learn in a way that is necessary and I understand. So what at first was exciting success, became a sharp reminder that just "making sure to do everything I promised myself I'd do daily" was NOT enough. It was a victory in mindset, a big shift in thinking and holding myself accountable for the little things I expect of myself. In fact, I made so much tremendous progress on the little things in stage 2 I could list pages of changes I've made. Little things like every time I get out of bed I fix the sheets and covers, instead of fixing them at night. Literally pages of that kind of thing. I cleaned up my life in so many ways I had avoided for years it's astounding. I would be yelling form the rooftops how much amazing success I made if it was any other subliminal. But, this is BAMM, and not for the faint of heart. No, I realize now those pages of "little things" are just the basics I had to get done. Stage 1 was uncovering reality, and realizing what I must do. Stage 2 has been the beginning of "doing", learning through "action" or process. There's always 2 phases of learning concepts-discovery (what's possible) and doing it (applying it and learning from using/experience). Basically, I just learned the missing letters in the alphabet. All those achievements I made was just step 1, the groundwork of clean success-focused action. That is why it simply isn't good enough. But then again I knew what I was up against when I started this journey, and I am learning now because I understand my pain is molting pain. Being one of the longest users here of Shannon's subliminals, I've learned a thing or two about how to ensure I get the results I'm looking for and "resistance" (bad word) is faced.

A lot of you say "resistance". Well I've made my stance on this quite clear that there is no such thing and will continue to say so for anyone that will listen. I've tried to get people on this forum to stop using the word because it's complete ********** and promotes ignoring problems and "toughing it out". Attributing signals your mind and body are telling you to "resistance" and "pushing through" is like trying to empty a lake with a bucket while there's a dam right behind you and only reason you won't go open the dam is cause there's some scary alligators and bears that live by the entrance. Well they aren't going anywhere. The word itself is not conducive to actually facing your fears, hang-ups, what-ever might be conflicting and actually making the change. When subliminals come in conflict they bring up issues you must deal with or you can go do that 6-stage set again until you empty your lake with your bucket. Hey, it'll work eventually. So here are some things I had to deal with and am still dealing with. I've faced these head on, a lot of which I've already resolved but they've been hard. But I'm no stranger to change, and when necessary, pain:

-A fear of losing "revelations", "ideas", "insights", if I was too involved in my work.

-Holding on to what I'm calling "boy" (not man) beliefs of: #1 Idealism #2 the idea that you can "make up" for something you didn't do when you said you would as long as you get it done eventually (greater accountability) #3 Over or under optimism when dealing planning out project completion dates

-A fear of having my taste in women change, into actually being attracted to women that are better than me in a skill that I specialize in (I'm not sexist, there's just a huge bag of mixed feelings and hang-ups I am going to have to deal with regarding if it's "OK" or even "GOOD" for a woman I'm pursuing to be better than me at something I take great pride in). And I don't mean just better, I mean makes me look silly, like if I were to start dating a famous female violinist in my age range.

Other than that, I came up with an idea I am now working on (separate from Indigo) while I was visiting with Shannon that has the potential to either make millions or at least a lot of funds to jumpstart other projects. I am very closed about my ideas so unfortunately I can't be more specific than that. I'll show it when it's completed and has hit the market.

Andrew // Site Architect
"Truest SUCCESS is but the development of self" - Charles Atlas
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03-12-2013, 10:28 PM
Post: #65
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
Andrew, to say the least, I'm impressed with your attitude, progress, and method of dealing with resistance. I'm also impressed with BAMM and what it is doing to both you and Shannon. I've had time to observe you both. I can see a marked change in your journal entries.

BAMM is the real deal.

AYD
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03-13-2013, 02:36 PM (This post was last modified: 03-13-2013 02:36 PM by ncbeareatingman.)
Post: #66
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
U Nailed it AYD,You Nailed it Man. MY sentiment exactly. BAMM Is indeed the real deal. Mine begins tonight with BAMM.

Andrew's Yer recent journal was so fierce that ALL I can say is DO it Bruder,Do it! I could write a book here on what all you shared/rendered/and relayed to us all. As Jimi would say in his song
"If 6 was 9" - 'Sing on Brother,Play on Drummer!' Keith.
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03-14-2013, 02:09 PM
Post: #67
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
Andrew I'm ON BAMM,now as of this afternoon. Purchased it last night. thank Yawl sooooo much for the 6 week extention. YOU dont know how very much I appreciate it and others do as well,they benefited from MY Plea/Request to YOU and SHannon. thanx Man. Ya saved MY ass,on this investment. thank you truly!!! I can feel it Man,I can really feel it ALREADY! HAVE posted in my journal here, today about BAMM and investments in other programs & Modalities while remaining 'generic' in naming those other things,90%'s worth anyway. thanx. Peace. whew I can feel it. I'm hyped man,this is deep,cool,.refreshing and wild.whew, its NO Joke! yep da real deal. Keith.
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03-14-2013, 02:17 PM (This post was last modified: 03-14-2013 02:19 PM by ncbeareatingman.)
Post: #68
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
PS: What did Shannon put in this 'blank-ka-tee,blank" mofo Man? dang this thang is industrial strength. While IM excited Andrew and pleased with MY own accomplishment of getting it together to get BAMM, I Know and can see that this thang is gonna kick my ass but royal!! A
gain T'aint NO Joke Brother,t'aint no joke. Shannon wasnt playing when he created this Monstrosity! I feel so good & yet so weird while listening to this extensive program Andrew. I'll leave it at that. Its been over an hour, now.Wow!! Keith March 14th 2013.
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03-15-2013, 11:41 AM
Post: #69
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
AYD,

Thank you for telling me that. I get pretty absorbed in day to day stuff I have to force myself to look back sometimes. Looking back now at what I was when I started this, it's been a big change. I was a good person with a bright future, but now I feel like a great person with a legendary future. I will be subscribing to your journal.

Keith,

As always, love reading what you have to say. If I could bottle up your excitement and send it to stores around the country I'd already be a millionaire Wink I bet you'll be unstoppable once you get going. The number you called is indeed our store number, but it functions as a voicemail right now for business matters until we get someone who can answer calls.



Things have settled down since my last couple posts. Some simple lessons are sometimes earned in blood sweat and tears. But, when someone has got a big hangup, sometimes a lifelong behavior, what may seem simple for say Shannon is agony for me and vice versa. But since I'd say most likely all of us on this journey are Alphas, just different expressions of Alpha, it's all about respecting where each other are.

The last year I've been working hard to judge people less, and come up with logical algorithms to direct my focus instead of pointing fingers. Is someone fat and complaining about it? All that means is, we have a food/health education problem first and foremost, second subsidy and agriculture problem, third a societal problem that promotes unhealthy foods in various ways. All things that can be fixed. But it's not my business if that person complaining is going to do anything about it. Do I possess more knowledge than most nutritionists, trainers and doctors about how to fix their problem? Sure, but again, it's not my problem...they are complaining. If they were complaining to me while on a stationary bike dripping with sweat with a meal plan and workout log in front of them then I'll probably help them Wink

What I'm emphasizing is, individual people are no longer my problem. I don't offer to help, my friends have the right to ask me time to time, but my concern is addressing underlying issues that make the world a better place.

Since then my stress level has gone down, I'm rarely angry at anything anymore. Occasionally if a person is important to me I have to politely ask them to stop complaining to me and if I phrase my request in a way they can relate to then they stop every time without fail. This really came to a peak a few days ago after having worked on this goal about a year. While on BAMM it really started internalizing quickly. Whenever I hear of something bad, or a big problem, or someone complaining, due to establishing these logic algorithms of underlying root causes I already know how fixing the problem as a big picture issue and can shift any emotions I have about it into determination of my work. And to anyone that's on BAMM, you already smell the money involved with everything I just said relating to scale and magnitude. And to that I say welcome brothers and sisters, future multi millionaires Wink

Andrew // Site Architect
"Truest SUCCESS is but the development of self" - Charles Atlas
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03-16-2013, 03:05 PM (This post was last modified: 03-16-2013 03:05 PM by ncbeareatingman.)
Post: #70
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
BOttle and sell MY exictement Andrew and Make Millions- Boulderdash Man,as the 5th element said" NEVER without MY Permission!"
There is No such thing as coincidence,only the illusion of conincidence- V-for-Vendetta....5g/OE.;-)
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03-17-2013, 06:51 PM
Post: #71
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
When did this happen!? two of you are NOW here in the BAMM journal section....I counted what I Know as in there @ least 5 of us utlizing BAMM right now....spirial,keith,tholt,andrew and shannon.
wonder if we'll all wind up here @ the BAMM Bar n grill ??? Hummmm.
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03-18-2013, 12:50 PM
Post: #72
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
This thing is like living a DREAM- Keith
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03-18-2013, 09:12 PM (This post was last modified: 03-18-2013 09:14 PM by Andrew.)
Post: #73
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
(03-17-2013 06:51 PM)ncbeareatingman Wrote:  When did this happen!? two of you are NOW here in the BAMM journal section....I counted what I Know as in there @ least 5 of us utlizing BAMM right now....spirial,keith,tholt,andrew and shannon.
wonder if we'll all wind up here @ the BAMM Bar n grill ??? Hummmm.

If you want a journal moved here, or want to start one here you're more than welcome. Spiral and I relocated here, but obviously we're not forcing it on anyone. Just a general area to keep our journals and start BAMM-related threads. Edit: There's 12 total using BAMM, so hopefully more will join us here. If you don't have privs to start a new thread and are using BAMM send an email to our store.

Andrew // Site Architect
"Truest SUCCESS is but the development of self" - Charles Atlas
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03-21-2013, 01:31 PM
Post: #74
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
I've had a fallout with myself last few days. My internet went down, following a very strict diet for bodybuilding purposes, had to re-assess some things and force myself to start reading again. Motivation went to zero so it was time for me to go back to the lab. Because of getting isolated like this I made a "final breakthrough" about what has still been holding me back. For once I actually know, that I will not be making any more major breakthroughs with regards to my journey to BAMM. I now have all the right tools.

Recently I came across an invisible wall, I did not know was a wall. Behind that wall was a box, that I could not open for it was locked. When I finally found the key, I realized the wall was me, for I had built it to find the key. But the key, it did not fit, rather the box had no lock. So, I opened it.

I speak in half-riddle often, because I cannot divulge the "answers" "truths" "discoveries" or "secrets" I come across. To give someone the answer, is to of course rob them of the question.

Other than that, I'm here, ready to go, going. I haven't tried to figure out stage 3, but I don't care anymore. My "applying meaning" phase is over. Very necessary, but very over. I suppose I'll assess for fun a week into stage 4 or so but now that I've got all the tools and resources I'll ever need for anything and everything I'll come against. Everything from here out is fine tuning.

Andrew // Site Architect
"Truest SUCCESS is but the development of self" - Charles Atlas
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03-21-2013, 05:52 PM
Post: #75
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
Andrew, I agree. when I'm given the answer without the experience of finding the question, I'm rob of the learning and effort required to find the question. I do not grow as much. Giving the answers before the learning binds and restricts the set of questions. Given the easy water the tree still grows, but fails to dig deep enough searching for the spring on wealth.

Giving the answer will mold the students why of finding the question. Its not a student but the master artist, genius inventor, adventurous explorer, or in this case a BAMM that will creates the most exquisite masterpiece, the most useful invention, most important discovery, or the best achieved BAMM because they are unbound.

My journey will be the same yet completely different because its unbounded.

AYD
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03-22-2013, 01:54 PM
Post: #76
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
Awesome!
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03-28-2013, 10:59 PM
Post: #77
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
Considering the move over to BAMM journal ,here. Keith.
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04-11-2013, 09:08 AM (This post was last modified: 04-11-2013 09:15 AM by Andrew.)
Post: #78
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
I've been on stage 4 now for almost a week. Things have stayed interesting. I'm having to work with change in a way I haven't in the past because the way I used to handle change is not compatible with being a MM. In other words I have to completely change how I adapt or I will not become a MM. This is a bit about my journey applying the "breakthrough" I mentioned in my previous post.

The new way is completely unfamiliar territory for me. I don't even know what the new way truly is, I have been making educated guesses. Post Stage 3 - metaphorically I know what direction to go, but not the coordinates. My mind is in a fog this stage because I can no longer get to where I want the way I knew how. I am learning a completely new skill-set that is alien to me. I constantly have to project a "guessed" duality of how I should be handling situations from now on which is constantly changing since I don't understand this new mindset yet I only have a general idea. Then I have to go against, sometimes opposite of whatever I'm doing.

When I set out for Tasmania, I set many goals. Am I going to make those goals? I don't know. I will at least be getting half this I know. But, I am calm because I now see that even though my mind is foggy from being in unfamiliar territory that this uncomfortable transition is completely necessary. So even more so than the goals I set, now most important to me is to finish this transition of becoming the new me that handles things in a different, better way and it is impossible to set a date for this... (although I am full aware the old way was necessary to get me here and I would have missed out on important things if I had been the new way all along). Part of me I think will actually miss the old way, I achieved many amazing things in my life and for others using it. When I say "way" I'm talking about overall life approach and root beliefs. All foundation. There's no going back, I can only emulate, simulate the old one once I finish the transition.

I'm changing things at the foundational level in my brain and restructuring an entire root belief. Replacing a root belief that affects many, many other beliefs is not easy for anyone and I am not exempt. I knew it was coming though, and the odd thing is that...this is the most important item for me now. Yes, I have a list of important landmarks I want to accomplish before May 31st, and many more after that date but they have become secondary. I am becoming a MM right now, at a rate I will understand and is natural for me to do it safely and make it permanent. Will I be the first? The last? Doesn't matter. All that matters is making the change and living it. Money is unimportant, it is a bi-product of the correct applied mindset.




On a semi-related note, my values which I've followed the last few years meticulously I had suppressed vocalizing or being clear about because some of them aren't the dominant mentality of my culture. Shannon says this is the included OGSF. I found this quote fitting.

Quote:"The Roots of Violence: Wealth without Work, Pleasure without Conscience, Knowledge without Character, Commerce without Morality, Science without Humanity, Worship without Sacrifice, Politics without Principles."

Mahatma Gandhi

Andrew // Site Architect
"Truest SUCCESS is but the development of self" - Charles Atlas
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04-11-2013, 07:10 PM
Post: #79
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
I love the quote.
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04-16-2013, 08:43 PM
Post: #80
RE: Andrew's BAMM Journal
Well I've had an extremely rough few days dealing with taxes. I thought I had been reporting partnership taxes correctly, apparently not. It was like pulling teeth getting what I owed down to a reasonable amount, and now I find out I have to re-submit.

Why? Well the fed tells me apparently PayPal reported my K-form as sole proprietor both years. So I get a letter in the mail today, saying they want $3300 for 2011. Yes, that's right, a year later after approving everything and even issuing a refund, they say "oh, actually we're going to need 3300 because of what paypal said, and we're going to send this to you 11 months later right as 2012 taxes are due just to **** with you".

I've been pinching every penny getting ready for Tasmania, and now I have to send a letter saying " **** no I don't agree to this" to the IRS (because if I had reported as sole proprietor I would have had TWICE the deductions so I wouldn't owe anything anyway!). I don't know what's going to happen but the fed is basically acting like a schoolyard bully asking for my lunch money right now. Hopefully I can get on with my business and not be forced to immediately pay, and can deal with this by mail. I am not going to change my travel plans, and unless they steal the money right out of my bank accounts, hell even if they do I'm still going. I'll play my Violin on the streets if I have to and work on business in internet cafe's.

Anyway, what was first despair is now anger. People, landlords, the gov, the state, corporations, they can bully me with false accusations when I am just doing the right thing to the best of my ability but they can't control me. It doesn't matter if they win a battle, in the end I always win for I am not cursed with taking from those who have little. They can take my money but they will never take my Violin Wink

Personal things aside, it's time for me to get an Accountant and start tracking everything that ever happens. If the fed steals my money, fine, when I make enough I will set up my business overseas somewhere with a cleaner tax system that treats its taxpayers better.

I don't know if BAMM is helping me through this or making sure I become sharper...probably both Wink

Andrew // Site Architect
"Truest SUCCESS is but the development of self" - Charles Atlas
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