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Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
08-03-2012, 03:56 AM (This post was last modified: 02-19-2013 07:50 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #1
Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
So my journey started with Alpha 2010 in 2010, I got up to stage 2 then Shannon released Alpha 2011 and I started that again and completed it. There was alot of great adventure, but also alot of anger and frustration, but that was an important part of it.

Tomorrow I start Alpha 5.0. I'm both slightly scared and excited. Excited about the changes that will happen, and scared about the changes that will happen.

That sounds weird haha. I guess because last time it really shook up things but in the end I got some great results. I know I have lost some of them, some have stuck and there is still alot of things to work on. I am one of the guys who will need a few runthroughs.

I printed out John Alexander's book and have been reading it again. Just reading stuff like this can make me analyze too much and it has showed me how much I have to improve and it seems overwhelming. But I don't just have the book, the subliminal will help majorly like last time. I don't think I even finished the book last time, this time i'm going to try to read it a few times as suggested.

So a few of my intentions -

-To become more social, go to different places and events to mix it up a bit and find more opportunities.

-Improve confidence definately.

-Stand up for myself more (i've improved alot with this, it's pretty easy if someone is obviously being a dick, but in more 'neutral' type situations like with friends and family it's alot harder and I have trouble)

-Strengthen the positive friendships in my life. There is a few that have fallen away due to me making changes. One guy I haven't seen since before my first Alpha runthrough I seen last week and though we got along I realized after it 'I don't really want to be around this guy anymore.

And another friend has been slowly drifting away (seemed to start happening when I started doing inner work) and started drifting away even more when I started making more changes, he was talking crap about my changing my sleeping times from getting up at 3pm for so long to now getting up in the mornings and when I stuck to it he went funny because I mostly would see him late at night.

-And attract new friends that help and support my new developing confidence, alphaness and will support me, who are positive and who I can learn positive things from.

-Get back in the swing of things with meeting new girls, I haven't done much with this at all for a long time. I've been seeing a girl who I met when doing my first Alpha runthrough and even though I organized it more just as a friends with benefits thing, I haven't gone out of my way to meet other girls and I want to change that.

-Get higher quality girls, the ones that I am really attracted to.

-Eliminate neediness more and let go of caring what people think of me as much as possible, I still have a big problem with that alot of the time.

-Get more motivation and drive to fully step into my own power in my EFT coaching business, martial arts training and teaching and even helping subliminal-shop grow even more successful. Wink

-Become more adventurous, develop the ability to go out of my comfort zone consistently again.

-The self image of a man is a big thing, i'm glad it's included in the new version, as I still feel like I could be 18 and don't feel like an adult.

-A big one is becoming independent, living on my own again. I really have got into a hole since moving back in with my parents and have been depressed that I haven't been able to get out and at the same time it seems like such a big thing now due to alot of the things i've had happen over the last 5 or 6 years. But i'm setting the intention now.. to become independent, earn enough money to be able to do so and to move away from here as there is barely any opportunity to do the things I want here.

That last one is a big one I never wanted to admit to anyone or even myself, but it is something I have to face.

Anyway, my intention isn't to have a sob story, it is to set these intentions (and even better intentions that I haven't thought of yet!) for during Alpha 5.0.

So tomorrow night I will start my journey.. this nice leatherbound journal right here on the forum will allow me to record my journey, see my developments, challenges and all the awesome things that happen!

Cool

EDIT: I'm glad I was able to edit the title before anyone noticing I spelt it 'jornal' and me being embarassed. Big Grin

Started Stage 1 - Saturday 4/1/12 - New stage 1 finish date - Thursday 13/9/12 and Start Stage 2. (added 8 days due to interference by hypnosis audio)

Started Stage 2 Thursday 13/9/12 - Finish Stage 2 Monday 15/10/12 and start Stage 3.

Started Stage 3 Monday 15/10/12 - Finish Stage 3 Friday 16/11/12 and start Stage 4.

Started Stage 4 Friday 16/11/12 - Finish Stage 4 Tuesday 18/12/12 and start Stage 5.

Started Stage 5 Tuesday 18/12/12 - Finish Stage 5 Saturday 19/1/13 and Start Stage 6

Started Stage 6 Saturday 19/1/13 - Finish Stage 6 Wednesday 20/2/13 and Alpha 5.0 Complete!

Alpha Male 5.0 Complete!

Single stage program -

Ultra Motivation - Started Friday 4/1/13.

Overcoming Fear - Started Saturday 17/11/12 Finished - Tuesday 1/1/13.

Single stage completed - Overcome porn - Started 27/9/12 - 4 hours a day (used about 40 days)

-Ben
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08-03-2012, 04:01 AM
Post: #2
RE: Ben's Alpha Jornal Mark II (5.0)
All the best with your new adventure Ben! Looking forward to see your results! Smile

- If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. If you let go completely, you will know complete peace and freedom
- F.O.C.U.S = Follow.One.Course.Until.Success
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08-03-2012, 06:44 AM
Post: #3
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
this is cool! good luck
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08-03-2012, 07:22 AM
Post: #4
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
I;m excited for you Ben. 5.0 will be awesome! Hang tough though.. after this run through I don't want to do alpha again. even though 1 more time will take the cake.

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
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08-03-2012, 09:15 AM
Post: #5
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
Alpha 5.0 is going to be the best for you. And its your 2nd run, hope you will see some major epiphanies . All the best.
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08-03-2012, 05:31 PM
Post: #6
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
If it works on you as it is working on me, you may need to tie your mouth shut, or you'll trip over your jaw every time you realize what an impact it has on you by the end of stage 1.

It is amazing. And that's saying something... cause I built it, and I thought I knew what to expect.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
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08-03-2012, 11:16 PM
Post: #7
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
Thanks for the encouragement everyone Smile

Quote:I'm excited for you Ben. 5.0 will be awesome! Hang tough though.. after this run through I don't want to do alpha again. even though 1 more time will take the cake.

Yeah that would be ideal, I guess it does effect other areas of your life though as confidence and drive is important for anything.

Quote:If it works on you as it is working on me, you may need to tie your mouth shut, or you'll trip over your jaw every time you realize what an impact it has on you by the end of stage 1.

It is amazing. And that's saying something... cause I built it, and I thought I knew what to expect.

Wow.. I hope to be pleasantly surprised. The only thing is reading such good reports tends to make me have alot of expectations. Tongue

Ok so i've started listening. I've got it going on my headphones using ocean waves right now. I plan to do 8-9 1/2 hours at night (that is what the listening rounds off to, about 9 1/2 hours for the last track to end) and 3 listen throughs through the day on headphones as much as possible. Which is about 4 hours. Is that too much? Should I take off one of those listenthroughs for the day Shannon?

I will edit my first post in a minute to reflect my listening and edit it when I start every stage.

Started Stage 1 - Saturday 4/1/12 Finish Stage 1 - Wednesday 5/9/12 and Start Stage 2

Hmm I think i've been doing 33 days the way I figured things out before, whoops, I was doing that night on the 32nd day and starting the next stage the next day without realizing that. Oh well.

I also just finished reading John Alexander's book. It's shorter that I expected and left me thinking 'is that all' because of course i've been taught it should be complicated. I have had enough experiences to realize it doesn't have to be, but my beliefs still need to catch up to that.

Interestingly after about a hour or so of listening i've had thoughts and images come up, one is about a friend (the one i've been drifting away from) being untrustworthy and a liar and several situations where that has been the case and realizing that I didn't acknowledge the red flags. Alot of that is the insecurity and finding it hard to make new friends and keep them. Obviously this issue will be improved upon seeing that it has already come up after an hour of listening.

-Ben
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08-04-2012, 08:02 AM
Post: #8
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
I don't think everyone will see the effects I am seeing, because of where I am and how many times I have used it. But those who have their eyes open should notice some really nice results. I have found that several times, just during stage 1, I was really pleased with what I was doing differently. So I suppose it depends on how much you resist... but its doing wonderful things for me. And much faster than previous versions.

One thing I have noticed is that a lot of people seem to get results so easily now that they attribute the results to something else.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
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08-04-2012, 06:51 PM
Post: #9
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
I know what you mean about that last part Shannon, I have noticed sometimes i've found it hard to attribute changes to a certain thing because it starts to feel more natural. I mean when I made my first post setting those intentions I noticed a difference that night, and now 5.0 will help support those intentions and make them stronger. Usually the intentions last a bit and then my programming stops them, but in this case it will be replaced.

I feel pretty tired today after my first night of listening and it was hard to get up, but I know that means something good is happening. I woke up not being able to identify it, but I was just like "I feel different somehow" and can't put my finger on it.

There is even a few things though subtle I see them as early results. First thing I went to see a girl i'm sleeping with last night and she is always up for nearly anything with me, but at one stage she just goes "you can do anything to me that you want" and was saying "your making me into your little sex slave". Wow.. she is pretty sexual anyway, but hasn't said this before and I see it as something in my aura shifting maybe from listening to it yesterday.

And the other subtle thing, is my dad was using a leaf blower real loud when I was in bed, I though it was a chainsaw at first. But anyway usually i'd just not say anything at all and just get angry. I didn't fully say "why were you using that while I was trying to sleep" but I made a comment "that thing is very loud" which I would have never said usually and I felt it was a way of letting him know without being too aggressive about it. I can be more assertive in other places but not with my parents, that is really hard.

And a interesting thing, my grandma, auntie and uncle come around yesterday and I noticed just talking to them by myself i'm normal but around my parents i'm quiet. But the interesting thing was when they were leaving we were standing in the kitchen and suddenly there was a perceptual shift and they all seemed so small all of a sudden and I felt big and kind of more powerful. It's hard to explain but was kind of like a twilight zone type thing.

Anyway, i'm glad for the commands about it being more obvious in this version as I can already attribute these things though subtle are definate signs of what is to come.

-Ben
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08-04-2012, 07:09 PM
Post: #10
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
The set sounds really powerful Ben, Enjoy!

1. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
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08-05-2012, 05:34 AM
Post: #11
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
Finally bro! I've been waiting for you to start with the Alpha Male 5.0
Big positive changes are already on the way. I wish you best of luck in this journey!

"Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
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08-05-2012, 04:57 PM
Post: #12
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
Quote:The set sounds really powerful Ben, Enjoy!

Thanks, I certainly will! Smile

Quote:Finally bro! I've been waiting for you to start with the Alpha Male 5.0 Big positive changes are already on the way. I wish you best of luck in this journey!

I've been waiting for myself to start it too Tongue Thanks mate, is that because of my last journal and all the good stuff I reported?

I'm not sure if you were around then, it was about 2 years ago. Smile

-Ben
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08-05-2012, 05:24 PM (This post was last modified: 08-05-2012 05:52 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #13
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
So last night the dreams started. I can pretty much identify when the dreams i'm getting are from the subliminals or not, there is just a different feeling to them and I tend to remember them much easier.

With my 2010/11 runthrough I noticed my dreams had a pattern that was slightly different with each stage. The first few stages it was mainly me getting attacked by groups of people and beating the crap out of them and they just kept coming.

Last night isn't enough to establish that it's a pattern but the dreams seemed alot different. The first one was I was in a building that kind of resembled a shopping centre, but in one part it was like it was a prison and I was on the outside watching and a prisoner went off and 3 guards were trying to restrain him but not having much luck. I was watching with curiosity and then a couple of big guys come over to me and told me to leave, that it was there territory or something. And I had my hands up passively in front of me like 'sorry guys, I didn't realize I will leave" and they were doing the old thing where somebody who wants to fight just turns everything you say into a insult to them, I was apologizing and stuff and backing off from them. I don't remember what happened in the end, I think it ended there. But it's a distinct difference as in 2011 I probably would have beat them all up.

I was thinking about it and a few thoughts come up, that back then my definition of Alpha may have been different thinking some guy who is tough and fights all the time and now i'm out of that scene and don't identify with it much anymore and I realized that in a situation against 3 big guys having a go at me it wouldn't be Alpha to try to fight them if I didn't have to and get hurt and that i've stood up for myself too aggressively at the wrong times in the past. I dunno it's just me trying to interpret it.

The next dream was me speaking my mind about something that I hate, that doesn't seem to be very popular opinion anymore, and if I say it here I know there will be a flame war probably, so I won't. Anyway a few people in the dream were giving me angry, dirty looks because of that and it was kind of like I felt more comfortable with that disapproval. I can definately see that is working on helping me express myself better. But also not indiscriminately as sometimes it's just better not to. The whole pua alpha type that they try to teach seems to be about being inappropriate all the time and just saying all kinds of harsh things.. but what if that isn't Alpha, it is another way of approval seeking through wanting to get a reacton. Hmm..

A few other subtle things I can report.

-Went to my friends, the one who I seem to be drifting away from, after a while he was like "wanna go get a drink soon" (as in goto the servo and get a drink, not the pub) usually we go for a cruise and chat.

And he always takes forever and it is annoying and I was getting tired, in the past i'd just wait and get annoyed, this time I said "if were going to get a drink, let's go soon because i'm getting tired" and he was like "ooh umm... oh I don't really need anything" and I said "ok, i'm gonna go then" and left. In the past I would have just got pissed off and waited like an hour and then nothing, now I found out as early as possible.

And on another forum there was something I thought was entertaining and funny that I posted and several people are whinging and telling me i'm inmature and really talking crap and I noticed i'm not getting as emotional and for the long replies they are making trying to attack every part of it, I just said 'that's quite an emotional response' and it didn't effect me much.

Today they come back with "yeah because we have grown up" and a few other things and it annoyed me that they were trying to frame it as them being grown up when they are the ones really whinging and attacking me, not much grown up about that. So I got a bit annoyed and said "**** off, stop trying to talk crap and frame it as you being grown up, it's not going to work with me".

It's one of these things I can't seem to leave alone when people want to talk shit, that might be one thing to learn now, to choose when to and when not to stand up for myself as I said.

Again subtle things, but important because even things that seem little I didn't do before at all.

Oh and i've had a bit of a frustrating conflict come up. I am meant to listen to a hypnosis track for 30 days from the weight loss seminar I went to, but I realized listening last night that it has a part about being gentle and forgiving on yourself and others. And I know this will probably conflict with Stage 1, it does say in the manual not to use the forgiveness subliminal with it so I assume it will be the same with this. So i'm conflicted whether to continue that hypnosis or not.

-Ben
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08-07-2012, 01:27 AM (This post was last modified: 08-07-2012 01:30 AM by Benjamin.)
Post: #14
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
So i'm feeling kind of sick and a bit of a headache, i've had this from subliminals before i'm pretty sure so I might cut down my listening a little bit, 9 1/2 hours at night and about 4 hours with headphones is more than i'm used to.

It's my birthday tomorrow and last time I didn't invite some people out for tea thinking they wouldn't come, only a few friends. This time I invited a few more and most of them are coming, one didn't reply which i'm a bit upset about but the main thing is I went and did this as organizing stuff like this isn't something I ever really do. It seemed like a big thing at first, but after the first person it was okay. It's another thing that is subtle but if this is something I start to be able to do more then it is a great change for me.

Other than that, I seem to be getting resistance already, along with the headache i'm feeling a bit down. It's a similar feeling to 2011 where I was bored with everything I was doing but couldn't think of anything else I could really be doing. Martial arts would have been an outlet for that tomorrow but the guy i'm teaching cancelled. Sad

I had more dreams about the thing that I hate, one about somebody making a forum post on it and me getting pissed off and typing an angry reply and I just realized this stuff come up during my first runthrough of Alpha (2011) and I don't really know what is going on and it is slightly worrying what it could be. It's something I don't really want to share but something to make note of for myself.

Oh something very interesting happened that was quite uncanny. There is a girl I am attracted to and I never really considered anything as I wouldn't have thought it was possible. Last night I was able to actually imagine myself with her at some stage, but then I started feeling sick and it reminded me of when I did the overcome pornography subliminal when I looked at porn and felt sick, it was a way of getting me away from it. So it was like an internal warning not to go for her for some reason.

But then today all of a sudden she signs up for a dating site i'm a part of. Weird.

But I just looked at the script of overcome pornography and it doesn't explain the feeling sick, so maybe it's just the way I manifest making certain changes myself.

-Ben
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08-07-2012, 02:54 PM (This post was last modified: 08-07-2012 02:59 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #15
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
Happy Birthday to me! Smile

So I feel better today.

A dream I had last night that is related.. I was walking near the supermarket in my town and seen a really cute girl and approached her and said "you look cool, I wanted to meet you" and she just said nothing and walked off, I kind of laughed in the dream and was okay with it. But now waking up i've got upset about it because in a way it confirms why I don't approach much. Hmm, maybe it's the program working on my fear of rejection which I have alot of, so hopefully it reduces alot.

And I remember having some thought in the dream after it that it's easier to approach really cute girls instead of just average ones because of the feeling that just hits me like "wow" and makes me want to go talk to them.

Interesting, because I very rarely get that and it's more alot of the time I logically know they are cute but only a few give me that feeling.

Then there is the thing where alot of the time I don't really even consider approaching and just look, like not thinking i'm good enough so not even thinking it's possible. When I woke up after that dream I was having new thoughts of myself deserving better girls and at the same time a little dissatisfied with the current girl i'm seeing, this happened last time by the end of Alpha 2011 and I ended it with her (I met her at the start of my first Alpha runthrough).

-Ben
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08-07-2012, 03:12 PM
Post: #16
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
Happy B-day Ben, may you be blessed to see many more!Big Grin

Popular recent questions to Shannon:

1. What are the "sniper modules" in V3.1?

2. What is "reality bending"?
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08-07-2012, 06:09 PM
Post: #17
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
Thanks mate.. things will only start to get better and i'll be more blessed! Smile

-Ben
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08-07-2012, 06:17 PM (This post was last modified: 08-07-2012 06:17 PM by Spiral.)
Post: #18
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
Ben, the only poll option you should have included was "YESS!!!!!!!!!!!"

That's the only option I would have chosen anyways..

And enjoy your journey my friend. I must say my second run through has been nothing short of enlightening so far.

edit: Happy Birthday! Smile

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
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08-07-2012, 06:18 PM
Post: #19
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
Happy birthday Ben I know you will have an awesomee ride with AM5

The only person in life that can ever hold you back is yourself. So get out of your own way and start living the life you always dreamed of
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08-07-2012, 08:48 PM
Post: #20
RE: Ben's Alpha Journal Mark II (5.0)
Happy birthday to Ben, happy birthday to Ben, happy BIRTHday to Benjamin, HAPPY birthday to Ben. Smile

I thought I'd posted that already, guess I got distracted.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
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