10-28-2023, 06:31 PM
Since using USLM i realised the root of most of my problems, that is the trauma that prevents me from getting what i want (never thought the motivation i felt before trying something only to banish after a couple of hours without doing anything at all would be a defense mechanism to repress the traumatic emotions)
I also know more about my urge to be free, since childhood i was always coerced to obey others (because not doing it would result in me being scolded or something that i perceive as a threat so better keep my head down and obey) but that destroyed my freedom and since then i get the freeze response whenever i want something of my own (it appears i perceive stress as life threatening so no matter what kind of motivation i have i'm just unable to get myself do something, i just don't do it even if i want to without even feeling fear or something) but back on topic what i want is to be free from other people (even when no one is around those beliefs of submission remain) that also explain why i got so angry when someone tells me what to do (for that and for being unable to decline at the time, that might as well explain my hate for people specifically women)
Honestly i don't mind to isolate myself for the rest of my life since i'm very detached from people but at the very least i want to get rid of those submissive beliefs and don't give a damn about what others want from me or trying to please others, i'm sick of it but the wound remains open and i don't know if OGSF can deal with that, maybe wait until E6 is released.
I also know more about my urge to be free, since childhood i was always coerced to obey others (because not doing it would result in me being scolded or something that i perceive as a threat so better keep my head down and obey) but that destroyed my freedom and since then i get the freeze response whenever i want something of my own (it appears i perceive stress as life threatening so no matter what kind of motivation i have i'm just unable to get myself do something, i just don't do it even if i want to without even feeling fear or something) but back on topic what i want is to be free from other people (even when no one is around those beliefs of submission remain) that also explain why i got so angry when someone tells me what to do (for that and for being unable to decline at the time, that might as well explain my hate for people specifically women)
Honestly i don't mind to isolate myself for the rest of my life since i'm very detached from people but at the very least i want to get rid of those submissive beliefs and don't give a damn about what others want from me or trying to please others, i'm sick of it but the wound remains open and i don't know if OGSF can deal with that, maybe wait until E6 is released.