DMSI 3.2 Magnus

[Magnus]

So I thought I'd just write a quick post to give credit to the in the moment state shifting that is present in EPRHA 2.0

I have been talking to an ex girlfriend a bit lately to work through a few things and noticed a lot of anxiety and insecurity coming up, so chucked on EPRHA to see what the in the moment state shifting could do. Before it was put on I was feeling a lot of tension in my solar plexus, after 10-15 minutes this had died down to a dull tightness, a marked improvement. Have been a bit adhoc with EPRHA with all the goings on lately. I was made redundant two weeks ago and so have had that combined with the ex contacting. I've noticed I'm not so worried about the redundancy as I thought I would have been. Time to get back onto EPRHA consistently.

[Magnus]

So now that I am sure I'll stick with EPRHA2 consistently (although its really tempting to get AOSI ;-) ) I'll post some of my observations.

Been listening for 1 week so far and have found that every night there has been intense fear based dreams. Last night I dreamed I was being chased by a spider that was half the size of me and no matter where I hid it would find me and chase me, even somehow coming through walls it ended with one of the spiders legs going through my arm. There have been many dreams like this, the surprising thing is unlike say AM in the past I'm not affected by the dreams emotionally when I wake up.

Onto real life, there has been a few subtle changes going on. I started a new job this week and noticed I have been rather social there and have been able to talk to people without fearing they will judge me, this is the stark opposite to what usually happens. I was also out with a mate the other night and he couldn't believe how good I seemed within myself. With him I was able to also tell him to turn down the music because I could hear him. This may not seem like much but for me this is huge and it felt so natural, in the past I would have been afraid that someone would get angry at me if I spoke up and vocalized what I needed and this would lead to them rejecting me or not accepting me.

I've also noticed a lot more smiles from people women in particular, I've been feeling a lot more self love lately and this seems to be emanating off onto other people. Pretty unexpected but I'll take it

So as much as I want to do AOSI I know I need to to EPRHA so the journey will continue...

[Magnus]

E2 has been subtlety working it's magic. Started a new job last week and have found it very beneficial there, I've been able to fit in very quickly. A large part of the role is around management of leaders in the organisation and I have found thus quite effortless where as in the past I would have felt inferior or not good enough. Another part is facilitating groups of people again which I have found quite effortless. Had comments from various people around me being a very likable person.

Works been using my of my time and effort but for a few days before I got sick was noticed a increase in smiles etc from women. I've also noticed I'm not much in my head while dealing with women I find attractive.

Outside of that dreams have been insane. Vivid and detailed and slowly working back through my life. I had a dream about my ex last night that was intense and was revolved around my family hating her (I remember at one point having a really strong feeling of her being really evil). Speaking of which I haven't heard from her in a few weeks might be OE working it's magic and allowing me to heal. Another dream focused around a friend who used to give me shit but in this dream I was sticking up for myself in a very assertive way.

There's definitely been a reduction of fear in general and that seems to have reduced procrastination as a lot of that came from fear of making a mistake and being judged as not good enough.

[Life]

I could notice it in the change of your writing awesome

[CatMan]

There's definitely been a reduction of fear in general and that seems to have reduced procrastination as a lot of that came from fear of making a mistake and being judged as not good enough.

This in particular makes me smile VERY much!

I have a huge issue with procrastination. I'm really hoping E2 clears it once and for all. I need to expand my company, have already done a lot of legwork, but for some reason I am stalling and doing avoidance behaviours when I could be working on it. I don't know why, I am glad your procrastination is being worked on with E2. That gives me hope mine will be dealt with, too. I have issues like fears and hurts with women, but the business issue is my biggest priority at the moment.

Thanks for the encouraging post!

[Magnus]

No worries catman, glad you got something out of it.

I decided to try out the two loops of AOSI the other night to see what would happen and wow. I had an intense dream that night that I was being chased by and eventually killed by a women, it felt very real but it definitely cleared something. So the next I was out at a beer festival and noticed this one girl checking me out who was by herself she wasn't really good looking but not bad either so I went over and had a chat to her. Bumped into numerous times more so decided to get her number. This may not seem like a lot but it's the first time that has happened in about 1.5 years and I never get girls staring at me like that. Looking forward to running v2 once that is out.

Back to E2 have noticed I'm fitting in at work really well after only a few weeks which is awesome feels a lot easier than in the past. Have only some fear coming up around aspects of the job but the majority of the time I feel confident in what I am doing so just get on and do it without any worry at all. Also have been feeling healthily detached from my ex which allows us to catch up every now and then without it having any negative effect one which is awesome.

Planning to continue on E2 till AOSI v2 comes out then reassess from there currently on day 24 so should be at 1.5 months by the time it comes out.

One other thing with E2 is I've only felt patches of resistance which is a vast change from other subs and this is the longest I've been able to run a single stage as the others I've given up due to resistance. I'm excited to see what happens with resistance once full 6G comes out.

[Magnus]

So it's been a while, I switched over to MSI for a bit but quite quickly realised there was still a lot of resistance coming up so it was back to E2. E2 has been producing a lot of both internal and external results I just never notice them because its smoother than any other sub I've done. Feeling very happy with where life is at the moment, have also rediscovered my passion for scuba diving and continued education in that area. Fear is so much less than it used to be and I find myself doing things that I used to think were hard and doing them so automatically that they seem like they were never hard. Lots lots more could be said but I'm on my phone and life is really busy at the moment.

Had an awesome dream where I was speaking to Shannon. He was asking how I know that I'm never good enough. I said "it's just me, it's who I am at my core". He then said "Keep going on E2 for one more month". Very interesting dream indeed and definitely touching on something very very deep that has caused me a lot of emotional pain my whole life

[Magnus]

The E2 journey continues with more and more layers of the onion being pulled away. It's starting to hit quite deep now and some resistance is coming up, gone are the feelings of self love and happiness but it is part of the journey. Loneliness and lack of intimacy in my life are currently being hit on as well as a feeling on never being truly understood in my life. Each time I think I've reached the core it goes a little deeper. So while it feels like I have now hit the core of my emotional issues I never quite know. What is interesting though is I've just stopped trying to run and hide or try fix these issues which is what I would have done in the past. It does all feel like a very solitary journey though. While this post sounds a little somber it is progress.

Oh and Shannon the new possible way to overcome or reverse resistance in 6G sounds very exciting as that is my biggest issue.

[Magnus]

There are some more little things popping up here and there that having looked back are far different from how I used to be. I ran a workshop the other day with ~90 people, last time I just had to do a small piece in this workshop and was riddled by anxiety. This time I had to run the whole thing and while there was still some anxiety there it was a lot less than it was last time, I was a lot less afraid of being judged.

The gym is another place when I look back at how self conscious I was in the past and how I am now its quite different. I've only just started going back which is usually when I feel the most self conscious but today there were only fleeting moments when I thought people were judging me. Its times like these, these little realizations that make the hard times worth it.

[Magnus]

Finished up E2 and moved onto DMSI 2.4. What I've noticed so far
* insane amount of hunger
* bit tired in the mornings but soon goes away
* girl I'm seeing at the moment has suddenly changed to be more receptive in the last few days and I haven't seen her in the last few days
* went in for a meeting with an older lady and she commented afterwards how hot it was in there
* increase in confidence and self assurance
* state shifting working it's magic. Girl from tinder commented on how much of a natural I seemed to be
* heat the first night was so crazy I started sweating.
* no major increase in iois in person since I started running it

[Magnus]

So feeling pretty depressed this morning, I know it'll pass but the healing module seems to be having a major hit. Very different from the last few days.

Neediness spiked up a lot and had some really intense dreams about things that have been very emotional for me in the past. I'm very glad I did E2 for 3 months to start off with as I'm sure that cleared out a lot of stuff. I'm hoping this will pass quite quickly.

[Chris P. Bacon]

So feeling pretty depressed this morning, I know it'll pass but the healing module seems to be having a major hit. Very different from the last few days.

Neediness spiked up a lot and had some really intense dreams about things that have been very emotional for me in the past. I'm very glad I did E2 for 3 months to start off with as I'm sure that cleared out a lot of stuff. I'm hoping this will pass quite quickly.

I feel you man. Yesterday was like that for me as well.

[Magnus]

Yea dude definitely a bit of a roller coaster at the moment going from depressed, to needy, to feeling calm and collected. I know the healing module is definitely working away and for me most of my emotional healing that is needed is around relationships so this may well be better suited that E2 for that purpose.

So observations
* Still nothing from females in real life
* Hunger is high
* Heat while I'm listening to it is crazy, it was cold last night and I was sleeping without a blanket and still hot
* Guys are initiating conversations a lot more and opening doors and apologizing when they get in my way
* Girl I'm seeing seems to have backed off a bit, shes a bit of a oneitis for me so that is quite likely blocking me as well, I seem to be switching between being needy with her and NGAF at all so I suspect this is being worked on quite heavily
* Having a lot of banter with a girl off tinder and its just flowing nicely
* Socializing seems to have gotten a bit better

[Magnus]

Had some feelings of rejection come up around my ex which I'm currently kind of seeing. The difference was that instead of stuffing them down and feeling anxiety I cried. Quite a different reaction to in the past so these healing modules are defiantly doing something. I've come to realize I most likely have a fair amount of healing to do around relationships before I can really see the benefits of the aura.

Notice Automatic pilot does kick in from time to time. Talking to the girl from Tinder she kept commenting on how funny I was and she was getting quite needy, called multiple times yesterday so I had to tell her to just relax a bit and back off.

Healing feels like its a lot more pointed towards what I need than E2 was so will be interested to see how that goes over the next few weeks especially with the new tech in there as well.