Spiral's BAMM Journal

[Spiral]

I experienced my most purest, confident, self assured form tonight while at dance. One day I can feel tense because I am attached to eliciting a certain response from someone or experience something and then another day I can be completely opposite. I'm really starting to loosen up and truly enjoy everything in my life. I am still reserved when it comes to meeting new people but I've started taking some initiative. I'm becoming a much more sociable person and starting to enjoy talking. I'm also improving my listening skills which is key when it comes to making new connections. People are becoming very predictable in general as well.

Things at work were making me feel stressed for a bit but I've turned it around and getting things done. I'm also cutting off all the fat and going for that 8 pack.

BAMM is awesome and helping me achieve new levels of personal growth and spirituality. Not only am I benefiting myself but I'm glad to see other people are benefiting from it too. Stage 8 I feel like cut my ego almost in half of what it already was. I experienced very intense emotions including impatience, jealousy and fear and then a few days later I was completely born anew. I'm way more accepting and I know that becoming a multi millionaire is not too far away.

The main takeaway from stage 8 is my increased self discipline and strong desire to succeed. I'm developing a passion for being awesome too and sharing it with others when the time is right.

Long ago I remember saying I wanted to seriously look for a girlfriend but I was never ready. I kept sabotaging myself with one particular woman because she was so atuned to my vibration that it actually blew my mind in the moment how aware she was. I have a feeling all women are like this.. only some have a strong sensibility of being aware of other people's negative vibrations. Anyways I made a vow I never ever wanted to repel anybody again. When I made that decision my "goodness" began out-weighing the "badness" consistently and almost without any effort on my part. Sure I still have to consciously be aware of it but in NLP terms I'm at the conscious competence level of "being real". Not sure how else to describe it. Non-attatchment is the best way I can describe it. Anyways, that's part of the secret to making friends instantly.

I think I'll sleep pretty soundly tonight.

[Spiral]

I've finished with stage 8 and I'll do my best to describe the things that happened.

The pain is gone completely now but general anxiety remains when I think about my relationships with people. I have no reason to beat myself up anymore because I have become accepting of my current situation whether I'm happy about the result or not. I have complete control and responsibility but I still take my life for granted. I find it frustrating to take action in some areas of my life but I'm getting better about pushing through. Stage 8 has brought me more peace of mind and I'm ok just being and accepting what I'm doing in the moment of doing rather than worrying about whether it's right or wrong. As long as I'm living true to my values and morals I can do no harm to myself or anyone.

[Spiral]

Stage 9: 11/25/2013 - 12/26/2013
12/10/2013 <-- 16th day off

Things are starting to get interesting. Probably won't have a real update for awhile.

[Spiral]

Secret to Success:

Work smart with passion and purpose; Expect success.

Do everything possible to increase your chances of success and doing the rest of the above, success becomes inevitable.

This is universal for everything in life. The kicker is this: you have to be ok with failure. The difference between ultra successful people (sharks; entrepreneurs and billionaires) and ordinary successful people (minnows; 9-5 corporate workers) is that they know they are not alone. They get what they give. The external forces are always there and want the best for those who are true. Their purpose is their life.*

*all this relates to anything and everything you do in your life. We have our greatest purpose and we also have many small purposes. Be as true to yourself as you can and the world will follow. In others words your reality will bend at your will and you will know with 100% certainty that success is your birthright.



Happy holidays everyone!

[Shannon]

If every choice and action you make is one that takes you closer to your goal... even if it seems to be a failure at first... success is inevitable.

[Spiral]

Stage 10: 12/27/2013 - 1/28/2014
1/11/2014 <-- 16th day off

[Spiral]

Hey Larry,

No need to envy me. We'll all get to where we want to go soon enough.

I don't have my own business right now. I spend a good amount of time helping Shannon and Andrew promoting the products here at IML. In fact, I'll be doing more advertising and video work for IML for the foreseeable future which is giving me a reason to quit my job I've been trying to get away from for the last couple of years. My life is starting to turn around for the better. I'll be working with people I truly respect and I know respect me. We also connect and resonate well with each other. This is something I've missed for some time now.

So I'll still have to do the whole 9-5 thing but this is the next step up. Doing my video work won't feel much like a job anymore. What comes next should be exciting.

[Spiral]

All I can say is is that I'm doing some brainstorming. Taking initiative on some projects but am also open to a couple of opportunities that could manifest much further down the road.

My focus is mostly on my own self growth right now. With a higher vibtration (as geodude mentioned in his journal) more opportunities will show up. I will take action if necessary.

Stage 10 has been a bitch for me. I've felt like dieing a few times. Been really angry and very sad. The anger and sadness usually last for a few minutes then I just laugh it off. The feeling of dying lasts for just moments. I love it though because I know something seriously deep within me is being brought up. I have everything necessary to overcome these demons. Taking action is becoming easier but I am still taking my slow steady pace. I guess I could get used to it but I notice I'm becoming slightly depressed in not pushing forward faster which I'm going to start doing. I'm visualizing like crazy and trying to be sociable with others as much as I feel I need to be. I'm still very closed off though. Some victim mentality shit still left.

I'm just ready to move and get out of here. I'll miss my old friends but it's time to close out this chapter of my life.

[Spiral]

Stage 10 is very interesting for me. I find that I'm getting alot of physical sensations throughout my body as well as many doubts flowing through my mind. It's been more down than an up kind of experience during this stage but I've been completely fine psychologically. I am making a big move soon and with that has come some amounts of stress but I've started packing up things and hopefully by packing up little by little for the next 10 days I can keep my stress levels though and well being high.

In addition to the physical sensations I've had many nightmares. But none I would consider actually scary. They have more or less been emotional nightmares. Being in situations where I just feel completely worthless or helpless. I've had a couple dreams where I'm crying and I feel EVERYTHING physically consciously as well. I think alot of what's being brought up is the fact that I lack self-acceptance and have for a long time. So I am rectifying that slowly by consciously reminding myself that I'm doing great at this thing we call life. I'm taking nearly every opportunity I can to overcome fears but I could push myself more.

All in all BAMM is pretty awesome to me. In time my self-acceptance will solidify and my sense of purpose in everything I do in life will become more clear. When it comes down to it if I want something I have to make the choice and commit to it. Looks like my lack of commitment to desirable opportunities is directly related to my lack of clear purpose (in those specific opportunities). BAMM is definitly making the "bigger picture" purpose clearer and clearer every single day though, and that's why I'm always in a good mood these days. THAT and I'm leaving my job to embark on a new and exciting journey filled with lots of money. haha

[Spiral]

Coming in on the last week of Stage 10.

I feel amazing! Emotionally charged full of positivity and optimism! Moving to Florida in a week. Swam 50 laps straight in the lap pool earlier. I'm happiest I've ever been. I'm conquering every moment more than ever! I enjoy cooking alot more and am much more willing to experiment. Not taking myself so seriously. Going with the flow, basically. I want the best for myself and everyone. I don't expect to slow down

[Spiral]

Stage 11: 2/5/2014 - 3/8/2014
2/20/2014 <-- 16th day off

[ncbeareatingman]

Cool! Go Spiral Go!!

[Spiral]

So, the new chapter has begun. I've moved up to Washington and am working more closely with Andrew on this business and some of our own projects. Shannon, there's plenty of room for you in WA when you finally make it up

I feel like I've learned a ton from just the entire move alone. Had alot of truck issues and had to do some hands on roadside maintenance with the help of Andrew. Good thing he's well versed in car maintenance or else we would have been waiting for a tow truck for hours where we broke down. I learned how to be more patient on this trip with the things I cannot control, myself and others. It's refreshing now to see where I was 2 weeks ago and where I'm at now. Maybe I was just getting soft or that move came with so many different obstacles I just plowed through them. EDIT: Probably both, haha.

I'm much more emotionally healthy and all I want to do is mature into a great person and do hard work that matters. BAMM is still doing it's thing but now I'm not sure how much of it is BAMM and how much of it is my own spark of action and initiative. Whatever it is the combo of BAMM and I is a good one.

I would like to add that there are plenty of "scary" things ahead. They aren't so scary though anymore once I just take a step back... take a look at the situation(s) and decide to "take it as it comes" or let it take control of me which creates anxiety and fear.

There's a quote in my signature that has much more value than I originally perceived. "If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown

Relax and own yourself and let go of the things out of your control.

[Spiral]

Stage 12: 3/9/2014 - 4/9/2014
3/24/2014 <-- 16th day off

Hey everyone. A month has passed since my last post and that's because I havn't had a desire to post. Though I feel there is something to post about.

I lost my sense of self unfortunately when making the move. What was worse is I didn't know the difference of being me and not being me. I built up some things in my head and made it hard on myself. I have a painfully long history of beating myself up. However over the past month my sense of self has been re installed. However, someone had to give me a dose of reality. Now I'm leading myself again. and for the better. Still gotta fix the wounds that remain.

I think it's time to balance my focus again from not just myself but to include everybody else.