OFv3 journal

[fab10]

Starting tonight: 1 loop ultra-sonic

This is my first OF experience, I am very much looking forward to it. 

I remember it was discussed but I am not sure whether it’s been established that ASRB should be 2 days rather than 3 for a start, so I’ll listen for two days and see how tired I am vs. how much happens during those two days.

[Shannon]

Starting tonight: 1 loop ultra-sonic

This is my first OF experience, I am very much looking forward to it. 

I remember it was discussed but I am not sure whether it’s been established that ASRB should be 2 days rather than 3 for a start, so I’ll listen for two days and see how tired I am vs. how much happens during those two days.

Start with the instructions.  The, reduce days off by 1 if need be, and then in the cycle after that, start increasing loops - again, if need be.

[fab10]

Thank you Shannon, I will keep it in mind when I start, which is not now sadly.

If my subconscious is orchestrating this to keep me from facing my fears, it’s doing an amazing job - yesterday I was verbally attacked  by a family member so vehemently that his face morphed into a monster, he was literally showing teeth. He was extraordinarily aggressive and hurtful. Even the dog reacted, he came between us and first growled, then barked at him. The dog is as attached to him as he is to me, picking sides this time was an objective call on his part.

All I could think of was: DRS. RIGHT. NOW. DRS worked as amazingly as ever - his attitude softened somewhat in 15 minutes but I’ll have to run DRS daily until this settles. 

That much for my OF run… hopefully I will be able to start on it soon.

[fab10]

So it’s been over a month and I haven’t started on OF yet… but I do have a hard date: Sept. 1st

What happened is: first I needed one cycle of DRS as explained above, then I realized I needed healing urgently, both emotionally for the two hells I had been through and physically because I had this horrible pain in my throat and cough that would just not go away (after 3 doctor’s visits, two long courses of antibiotics, 2 Covid tests and whatnot.) One month of LTU refresher did the trick. Amazing program btw, but we knew that. I am now in the final bloom days, so I figured a week of rest and then start on OF3, at last.

TID hit me LIKE. A. TRAIN. Not pleasant, in fact the ugliest side effect I ever had on the subs. I had several dreams that were not literally nightmares but were all about fear. I woke up in very bad shape, my heart was pounding, and it would not stop, I had lost the feeling in both my arms and I just could not think anything but ‘Am I having a heart attack?’ I had no notion of time but it must have taken one or two hours for me to come back to normal functioning. Fell asleep again, more weird dreams. Next night I had a similar experience but much milder.

With this kind of TID and the awareness of the terrible fear buried deep in my past, I bet OF3 is going to be an interesting ride… I’ll have to be careful not to over- or underdo it.

@Shannon , given that my fear is very old (I was literally 24/7 terrified for my entire childhood), and the above strong reactions, should I start with lower volume or a more gentle format?

[fab10]

Last night I had very intense and very unpleasant fearful dreams again. I woke up confused, with my heart pounding, a panic attack practically. It took me almost one hour (still in bed) to calm down a bit and come to terms with reality. After that, my first thought was to masturbate to ‘get out of that’ but I realized it would have been an escape from what I needed to process. I picked up my HeartMath thingy instead and worked with it for quite a long time.

I was planning to start listening tomorrow but I’ll start tonight instead. Hopefully that will pull me through this fears faster than just the TID.

Frankly I think that E5 (which I already bought) would be a better choice for me now, but OF needs to happen sooner rather than later. We’ll see how it goes.

[MegaMan]

@Shannon , given that my fear is very old (I was literally 24/7 terrified for my entire childhood), and the above strong reactions, should I start with lower volume or a more gentle format?

Hi fab10,

Shannon recently elaborated on volume and Subliminals here https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-Volum...#pid248867
Maybe this can be helpful in your decision for format and volume. Posting just in case you didn't read it yet

Wishing you victory over fear
MM

[fab10]

Thank you bro. I started on 13/16 (ultrasonic) on my iPad Pro, which is my standard, and I am doing well so far. The first night I went down one notch because I was getting a headache. The second night I stayed on 13/16.

[fab10]

I started at last.

I listen at night, I start the track as soon as I go to bed. Setup: iPad Pro right behind my head in bed. Airplane mode, Do-Not-Disturb on, Foobar2000 as player, FLAC.

Day 1
Volume 13/16, u.s., then dropped a notch. 1 loop as per instructions. I slept much better than during TID and the next day I noticed a huge improvement in my mood and productivity. (I was not doing well at all.) DRS is very noticeable, it instantly improved my family relationships.

Day 2
Volume 13/16, u.s. I think I am executing, otherwise nothing special while listening and sleeping. Still doing much better during the day.

Day 3
Bloom, some dreams, feeling well.

Day 4
Bloom. Did well during the day but become very restless and nervous at night. I was hyper vigilant, heard all kinds of noises in the building and got scared (fear!) that they were breaking in. It took me hours to fall asleep, got out of bed half a dozen times.
I was tempted to listen to 1 loop and see whether it would get better but I opted to follow the instructions at least for one ASRB2 cycle and let what needed to happen happen.
If tonight I get so fearful and restless again, however, I will take it as a sign that my fear needs a beating and listen to 1 loop.
My intuition has been 2 days / 2 days off since the beginning but I want to give the original instructions an honest shot. We’ll see how tonight goes.

[RTBoss]

Congrats on starting OFv3! One of the best subs @Shannon has ever put out, hands down!

[fab10]

Thanks. One of the best subs and also the one I undoubtedly need most. I am very much looking forward to this.

[CatMan]

Welcome to the OF V3 club.

Enjoy the ride man.

[fab10]

Earthquake: in-the-moment OF3 for an exceptional situation

A couple of days ago we experienced a Richter 7.1 earthquake. It was “exciting”, and not in a good way. Thankfully there were no victims and no major damage in our area but the fear was intense. After the quake, there was still a lingering, very powerful fear that was not going away. Even my dog was very stressed. 

Instead of reaching for drugs*, I grabbed my iPad and blasted OF3 ultrasonic full volume. I was not watching the time but well before the end of the track (maybe 20 to 30 minutes), the fear disappeared completely, for me and every human in range. I just … relaxed. Soon after that I went to bed and slept like a baby.

The dog, however, whined periodically during the night. Unfortunately, subs don’t work for dogs (not until Shannon learns dogspeak.)



* prescription medication, doctor approved for emergency situations (rule 16 disclaimer)

[RTBoss]

Glad you're okay, and awesome how OFv3 works so fast!

Acapulco?

[fab10]

It will be six months of listening tomorrow, time to evaluate and I am having difficulties doing that, it’s not easy to objectively watch my own fear.

I think I can safely say that all conscious, logical fears are gone. E.g. I got an aggressive form of Covid last month, after seeing a specialist I knew it was a real possibility that it would not end well (I was already using oxygen and it kept getting worse) and yet I did not feel any fear at all, not for one second.
I also don’t get emotionally overwhelmed any more. There was a time before using OF when my resilience was so low that even the smallest emotional stimulation, positive or negative, would make me cry.

What did it not do? It didn’t get rid of an undefined, vague anxiety that prevents me from doing things. That’s still an issue that affects the quality of life majorly. It’s worse than procrastination, it’s paralysis. Maybe it’s not even fear, I don’t know, but it does feel like a knot in the stomach that I associate with fear and anxiety. @Shannon , if you read this, do you think that it is a different issue that could be addressed by E5? (I do know that I have PTSD issues.) Or should I keep going with OF? (That’s separate from the need for DRS I mentioned in another question, that is only temporary.)

Edit: I just read the instructions for E5 again, the following sentence seems relevant to this issue. 

In [E5], the approach is designed to safely make stagnation, avoidance and the like from the subconscious impossible when it is necessary to deal with issues it may not want to deal with.

“Stagnation” and “avoidance” are exactly the words that describe what is happening to me right now.