LTU 5: The Journey

[ichigo]

6 loops Ultrasonic
13/15 played on iPhone 6S speakers

Potential TID:

Stopped DMSI, got bored of sexual things, no point when I have a girlfriend and it just felt empty in general. IOIs stopped meaning anything to me, and I love my girlfriend and know I would rather be happy with her than have the ego boost of attraction from others. Felt a strong urge just for knowledge or truth. Read some books I found on a bloggers site I randomly came across once that I often return to. Started semen retention and attempted to stop sexual thoughts and viewing others as objects of lust, instead trying to view them as brothers and sisters. My interest in spirituality has far deepened.

2nd Feb 2019 (last DMSI listen about 30 days ago)

Listened to 6 loops as I slept last night, making my first day under the influence of LTU. During my loops, I remembered a memory of a past romantic interest that I had completely forgotten about since I last saw her, over three years ago. The memory made me laugh out loud which is rare. Something being dug up and processed perhaps. My breathing felt deeper and my dreams were particularly vivid, two of them involving women chasing me for sex.

Set myself the conscious goals of: overcoming lust, being more loving, developing spiritually

Listened to more loops after work, about half way through the first loop at around 6pm I dozed off for a bit

3rd Feb

Dreams consisted of being chased by a girl I haven’t thought of in ages with a knife, and asking another girl I knew for forgiveness

Met one of my friends in London. Got a fine because my railcard had expired 2 days prior. The fine was totally disproportionate and I was worse off having bought a ticket than if I had bought no ticket at all and tried to just get away without having bought one in the first place. The ticket seller was quite nervous and I didn’t want to start an argument with him so I just accepted the fine trying to be as polite as possible. There’s an online appeals process which I’ve filled in but I’m not hopeful.

4th Feb

Downloaded a large collection of books I’ve started reading. It feels like it’s the knowledge I’ve been looking for my whole life. Part of me is loving all this new information and can’t stop reading, the other part of me is worried because how do I know if it’s true? I’m just trusting the words of others… I don’t have much innate intelligence to be able to discern what’s true and what’s false, so how do I judge what the truth is?

Felt really down and unmotivated in the evening. Didn’t bother cooking dinner, ordered myself a pizza instead. Wanted to read my books but felt demotivated so watched a film. Also haven’t showered in days.

5th Feb

Dreams of incoming nuclear bombs and trying to find shelter. Felt better today, in mood and energy to start with. I’ve being pushed toward starting a vegetarian diet, so going with it. My only concern is how I will get my protein requirements.

6th Feb

Extremely tired and depressed feeling. Reading more but struggling to understand it conceptually. A weird mixture of depression, tiredness but also fearlessness. Ordered another pizza. Life seems to be taking a downward turn. The emotional pain reminds me of occasions during E2, really tough to get through it, you start to forget how it feels to not be down and in pain.

7th Feb

Slept well last night, started off the day with energy but this died when I got back to work. I’m realising my job is taking the life out of me, because it’s not helping anyone. It’s just a marketing job to make money, but it doesn’t do the world any good. It’s not creative, just account management. I’m feeling pretty worthless about it. Still haven’t mustered up the energy to shower, no energy to socialise or even pretend to be good-natured with co-workers who are starting to avoid me.

8th Feb

Felt really loving toward my girlfriend this morning. Back at work and back with the feeling of depression. The reading is starting to make sense and I’m really starting to understand I’m unhappy because I’m not serving anything, or contributing to the world in anyway. As we are all one, that means I’m not helping myself, which is why I feel so shitty. Need a job change, an overall lifestyle change.

Summary so far: Making me tackle difficult times. This might be down to my conscious goal of spiritual progress, rather than the work of the sub without my conscious goal. Motivation is low, but I’m being led to insights and knowledge that I have wanted but not been able to find, or not been inclined to find, until the TID from LTU started kicking in.

On the flip side, I know the sub can work well, because my girlfriend has been receiving incidental exposure when I listen. Since Day 1, she has been a different person. Usually she’s a major procrastinator, doesn’t cook or eat well, is messy, stresses about her job, etc. Since the sub, she’s been happier, cooking proper meals, cleaning/tidying after herself, and has been searching for and has an interview for a new job. This is literally in the 6 days of incidental exposure she’s been getting.

So I know the sub is incredible, it’s just taken to working on me and my girlfriend in very different ways so far!

[ichigo]

9th Feb

First day of the 3 day break. Didn't sleep too well last night, had the loops running for the first portion of my sleep until about 2am, so woke up with a headache.

The reading continues. Trying my best to feel unconditional love for everything around me, and to understand the idea that things being separate is just an illusion. Can't go into detail due to Rule 4 but it's hard to know how to know what's genuine truth and what's made up. Reading such things is helping to broaden my horizons as I'm considering things in a manner I hadn't previously had access to - the more I read, the more I realize how little I know about anything, and how much there is to learn. But I'm determined, the more I read, the more exposure I have to these kinds of concepts and ideals, the more likely I am to find the path my life should take for it to have had meaning and purpose.

Had a haircut today. The girl who was cutting my hair, she was fairly attractive but not stunning, but I just knew that energetically she was very sexually attractive to me. I did my best to view her completely non-sexually, in a platonic and loving manner. I avoided eye contact unless it was to smile, and I tried to speak kindly without any hint of sexuality. I felt myself heating up during it, the old DMSI feeling, and despite my best efforts I knew I was pumping out some serious sexual energy toward her, despite my best intentions to keep things completely non-sexual. She got the red cheek sex flush after a while. Shouldn't be DMSI as I'm outside the 35 day period, but having not ejaculated in weeks it's very hard to control.

Now I find my mind keeps wandering to her, I found her on Facebook as we have mutual friends. When will I be able to stop viewing things at such a surface level and value people, especially women, based on things more important than their appearance or sexual viability?

[Shannon]

DMSI can still work. Even outside the 35 day period. It becomes long term and possibly permanent programming if you use it long enough. My question is, why try to stifle your natural sexual response?

[ichigo]

DMSI can still work. Even outside the 35 day period. It becomes long term and possibly permanent programming if you use it long enough. My question is, why try to stifle your natural sexual response?

I was using DMSI on and off since v1, so that would make sense.

Reasons why:

A.) I have a girlfriend and want to display 100% loyalty
B.) To demonstrate I have self-control to myself
C.) To continue semen retention, its easier to not think sexual thoughts in the first place
D.) I always come from a place of selfishness and wanting to take from people. I want to be able to feel unconditional love for all, treat all equally without wanting anything in return, rather than putiing sexually attractive people on a pedestal because I want something from them
E.) I want to raise my vibration and “ascend” my consciousness

Essentially I’m trying to progress spiritually along the path and discover what that path actually is. I know you’re strict on Rule 4 so I cant talk about the theories/concepts I’m reading about, so this journal is intended to track my ups and downs and other aspects of the sub like motivation/detox/etc.

[Shannon]

It may also be helpful for you to take a deep look at how much of, and how much, your originating motivations are based in guilt, shame and fear.

[Have at ye]

It may also be helpful for you to take a deep look at how much of, and how much, your originating motivations are based in guilt, shame and fear.

"Ascension" might be tricky otherwise.

[ichigo]

Been on a break for 1 week while waiting for the update to LTU. Emotional pain has died down over the last few days and feel better than I did before listening at all. Very reminiscent of E2 which sucks whilst you're going through it, but then you feel better than you did before listening when you come out the other side.

Shannon, would it work to set a conscious goal to be to discover your innate talents and what you can focus them towards to provide the greatest contribution to humanity? Could you help me with the phrasing of such a goal, please?

[Shannon]

I'm not able to get to a computer right now and typing on my phone is a PITA, but just turn your question into a statement and see how that works.

[ichigo]

Glad to see the site's back up and thanks for the release of LTU v5, Shannon.

Doing my first 5 loops tonight, will see how they impact me tomorrow.

4 days on, 2 days off.

[Greenduck]

I can relate to the place you are ichigo, I have also been there. Trying to apply concepts I read into real life. But it doesn't work, those things need to come from the inside (thereof the word insights). You need to work on the more basic stuff and then you will (from my understanding) experience things like unconditional love. If you haven't read about chakras I could recommend it for you. It's 7 major energy centers in the body which you work on from the bottom to the top (from survival to cosmic awareness). I find it a great framework to use in working on myself. Right now I'm working on my lower 3 chakras, which are needed to be stable and fully developed to provide a foundation for the upper 4. So I'm working on basic stuff.

[THolt]

Glad to see the site's back up and thanks for the release of LTU v5, Shannon.

Doing my first 5 loops tonight, will see how they impact me tomorrow.

4 days on, 2 days off.

How long are the loops? 60 minutes?

[whome]

How long are the loops? 60 minutes?

LTU 5 loops are 1h24m long. Five of them = 7 hours.

[ichigo]

LTU 5 has been a much smoother ride so far. Far more manageable for me.

Most noticeable benefits have been less fear, less stress, and more self-esteem. I'm less worried about speaking up and believe more that I have a right to be heard.

From somebody who works in marketing and has spent their life interested in psychology, persuasion, seduction, literature, film, TV, I'm slowly having a change in mindset. All the things I thought were important, or to be respected, such as great actors, writers, etc. seem less important now. I've realized at best all a great work of art can do is to inspire somebody to advance civilization, and at worse is encourages escapism and an excuse to hide away from problems instead of confronting them... something I've been doing my whole life.

I'm less concerned with being sexy and having a great body. This is big for me, as it was always one of the primary focuses in my life. My idols are changing from people like Marlon Brando and fictional characters like Don Draper to people who have advanced humanity through innovation like Tesla and lately Musk.

My knowledge of subjects like physics, engineering, maths and generally anything that uses the left brain I thought of as lesser than right brained subjects, but now I think my avoidance was based in fear of the fact I know so little and to start learning now is such a huge mountain to climb. But I think it's time for the climb to begin. I'm 27 so although it's late to start, I don't believe it's TOO late.

My current goals are to learn scripting and then begin to tackle things like engineering, biology, physics. Eventually I want to be able to contribute toward things like curing diseases, sustainable energy, artificial intelligence. LTU has me feeling very motivated in these directions.

My biggest hindrance is that I'm not very naturally intelligent. I don't have random insights, creative moments, a great memory or a super logical brain. I'm just a pretty standard guy... which causes me frustration as I think how can I make a difference without the faculties to make it happen?

[Shannon]

"It's not that I'm so smart, it's that I stick with problems longer." - Albert Einstein.

Believe it: motivation, perseverance, persistence, determination and specificity of goal will beat raw intelligence all day long, every day for anyone's lifetime.