Trip.1e Bag It - Wrapping Up with my Aura Jimmy Hat - DMSI V3.1

[RTBoss]

Yep, it's B. More specifically, it's how I'm handling/executing/not-executing B. Did 2x hybrid FLAC on earbuds, 8/15 volume as I fell asleep last night.

"A" - my wife's hot nurse coworker - has been at the gym every day I've been there lately, and today was no exception. She was acting strange again. Came up and asked about the baby, and in the middle of talking to me, just turned on her heel and walked away! So strange. Then she started chattin' up my lifting buddies. I stayed away, b/c I felt comfortable being the odd-man-out, and just paced like a lion until my next set. Then, when she left, she looked right at me. I waved goodbye, and it was like she looked right through me. I may as well not even been there, she just kept walking, like I was a stranger waving. Once again, I'm left thinking, "Okay..."

There was some stuff with some other chicks that I don't feel like talking about, not really a big deal. Just typical attraction stuff. I guess it's worth mentioning I felt tranced-out as one walked by me at some point, but it didn't cause anything to happen.

[RTBoss]

Took a "selfie" of some awake time I had with my daughter a few days ago, and it cracked me up. I thought I'd share it, haha:

[attachment=502]

[stratos]

cute! tired baby

[RTBoss]

Went with 2x hybrid FLAC again. Just gonna roll with it for now. It makes me super-tired, and the aura is misfiring - like a malfunctioning android walking around sparking and stuttering - sending all nearby women running for the hills, lol.

Speaking of tired, just got up from a 3-hour-nap. I had a few cool dreams, but they've already slipped my mind. I do remember one from this morning, however. My SIL was texting me that she would be coming over to get all the cuddling she needs.

At the gym, while on the treadmill, I had a "vision" of sorts. I was walking next to a few SDS-canidates and imagined - in my mind's eye - that my energy was having a conversation with their energy. In this "conversation," introduction, attraction, flirtation, rapport-building, escalation, and sealing-the-deal all took place energetically - and within seconds. This conversation took place with multiple women simultaneously. My energy was literally playing "the numbers game," for me. While nothing occurred consciously - no actual talking, flirting, or "hunting," it all was done on a subconscious, energetic level. After the work was done, eyes meet, and all I had to do was say, "Yes..."

Cool vision.

In other news, wife is being very nice and is over-talking. This post took way too long to write because she won't stop talking for more than 20 seconds at a time. :@

[RTBoss]

My subconscious seems to be throwing an energetic temper-tantrum.

I went to Walmart to get some things. On the way, I had two separate incidents where I wanted to throttle people. One car almost hit me head-on in my neighborhood, not following the rules of the road. I was RIGHT THERE, and they pulled a stupid move, like I was invisible! Two minutes later, I turn onto the main road, in front of a truck - with plenty of time. They slam on the gas and ride my ass (like I cut them off or something). I lost my shit. I hate that kinda crap. I looked in the rear view and yelled, "I'm going to FUCKING KILL YOU!" I don't know if they sensed my energy, or just got over it, because they immediately backed off by 30 feet.

I picked up an online order first, before completing my shopping list. The clerk - a glorious wart hog of a woman - jerked me around for a bit, and then yapped my ear off. Her attitude turned around to good after I felt myself getting pissed again.

As I completed my shopping list, I ran into a few decent looking young women. I was invisible, which didn't surprise me. At checkout, my body heat began to become excessive. I looked around, but didn't see anyone - except for a group of girls too young to have been legal.

Got home, put away the groceries, and a positive interaction with my wife turned negative, quickly. More anger. She was hostile, but got over it pretty quick as well. I've now been experiencing hot flashes for the last 20+ minutes.

I'll be running 2x hybrid again tonight.

[RTBoss]

Random post of the day:

My wife's tits are 36 F right now. Thank you milk ducts! Yeah, buddy!

She put my finger in between them. Holy shit. I've never titty-fucked anyone before, but I want to try it now. It's my only hope of getting any for the next 5 weeks.

Please help me, DMSI. You are my only hope.

[Shannon]

Stop teasing me, dammit! lol

[RTBoss]

Emotional today.

I got myself worked up about my in-laws again (1st time writing about it). This marks day 9 since my daughter was born, and not one member from my wife's family has met her yet.

Pure anger.

My wife asked me what's wrong, but I refused to tell her. It's selfish. I can't communicate to her how her family has made me feel. I can't tell her how I see their lack of interest being hurtful without making her cry. It's happened before. She doesn't need that on her plate right now, along with everything else.

This is 2 out of 3 major life events where they haven't been there for us. Our wedding was the first, now our daughter's birth.

Oh, they have their excuses. Some people would say they're justified, but not me. I'm there, hell-or-highwater, for the people I love. I don't make excuses. I would think you'd run headlong to meet your granddaughter or your niece. I fundamentally don't get it. I don't understand.

I left for the gym with my son in tow. I got there and just sat in the parking lot, steaming... fuming. I asked myself what right did I have to be mad for my wife? She acts like she's bot hurting, but she has to be, right? Then it hit me. *I* was hurt. I kept telling myself I was mad for my wife's sake, pushing away the fact that I care what these people think, too. With that realization, I just sat there and cried.

Thank goodness for my son. "What's wrong, Daddy!? Are you sad? Do you need hug!?" That cheered me up. I guess I'm learning that while I can't control others, or even always understand them, that I can make better choices for myself and the people I love. I will always be there for my family - even if they're not there for me. My son and daughter are never going to feel like I don't care or that they're not my number one priority. They'll always know I care. I won't leave them guessing.

EDIT:

Upon further contemplation, feeling this way seems connected to feeling like #2 or #3 in priority in my own family growing up - never feeling like #1. That further directly ties with never being the star athlete, the winner, the smartest, popular, and constantly feeling like a second-class citizen. I feel a lot better realizing this. It's not like these people are *my* #1's. My wife and kids are. As long as they got my back, and I got theirs, it's all good.

[swisston]

Sounds like the in-laws are the ones missing out. Feel sorry for them.

[Shannon]

Emotional today.

I got myself worked up about my in-laws again (1st time writing about it). This marks day 9 since my daughter was born, and not one member from my wife's family has met her yet.

Pure anger.

My wife asked me what's wrong, but I refused to tell her. It's selfish. I can't communicate to her how her family has made me feel. I can't tell her how I see their lack of interest being hurtful without making her cry. It's happened before. She doesn't need that on her plate right now, along with everything else.

This is 2 out of 3 major life events where they haven't been there for us. Our wedding was the first, now our daughter's birth.

Oh, they have their excuses. Some people would say they're justified, but not me. I'm there, hell-or-highwater, for the people I love. I don't make excuses. I would think you'd run headlong to meet your granddaughter or your niece. I fundamentally don't get it. I don't understand.

I left for the gym with my son in tow. I got there and just sat in the parking lot, steaming... fuming. I asked myself what right did I have to be mad for my wife? She acts like she's bot hurting, but she has to be, right? Then it hit me. *I* was hurt. I kept telling myself I was mad for my wife's sake, pushing away the fact that I care what these people think, too. With that realization, I just sat there and cried.

Thank goodness for my son. "What's wrong, Daddy!? Are you sad? Do you need hug!?" That cheered me up. I guess I'm learning that while I can't control others, or even always understand them, that I can make better choices for myself and the people I love. I will always be there for my family - even if they're not there for me. My son and daughter are never going to feel like I don't care or that they're not my number one priority. They'll always know I care. I won't leave them guessing.

EDIT:

Upon further contemplation, feeling this way seems connected to feeling like #2 or #3 in priority in my own family growing up - never feeling like #1. That further directly ties with never being the star athlete, the winner, the smartest, popular, and constantly feeling like a second-class citizen. I feel a lot better realizing this. It's not like these people are *my* #1's. My wife and kids are. As long as they got my back, and I got theirs, it's all good.

You can't control anyone but yourself, mi amigo. Setting expectations of others and then getting mad when they're not met is a futile attempt to control them, and that's just going to lead to you making yourself needlessly miserable. That is a hard thing to learn, but rest assured, the resulting happiness is well worth it.

[Theron]

You can't control anyone but yourself, mi amigo. Setting expectations of others and then getting mad when they're not met is a futile attempt to control them, and that's just going to lead to you making yourself needlessly miserable. That is a hard thing to learn, but rest assured, the resulting happiness is well worth it.

Thank you Shannon for the above. I happened to come across this post and I am so glad that I read it. I needed this so very much. Now I can let go of this need to control, it has been a source of sourness in my life,
Sorry for highjacking your thread RTBoss. This advice is golden!!!!

[swisston]

I've had this disagreement with my other half more than once. Putting expectations on to other people's behaviour only leads to disappointment and arguments.

Her arguement is that we have a right to expect standards of behaviour from those in our lives.

[Shannon]

I've had this disagreement with my other half more than once. Putting expectations on to other people's behaviour only leads to disappointment and arguments.

Her arguement is that we have a right to expect standards of behaviour from those in our lives.

I have the right to get angry when people do stupid things while driving. But getting angry at them only makes me unhappy... instead, I simply drive defensively and remain vigilant for the inevitable moron behind the wheel. I remain happy, and their stupidity does not cause me problems.

"Having the right to" make oneself miserable does not mean it is a good choice. It always makes me laugh when people argue for their limitations, as she is doing.

[RTBoss]

Ok, now we're cookin'. I don't know if clearing something earlier today is what's helped, but gawd-damn!

We went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. As we sat down, I noticed there was a college-aged blonde - EASY 9 - sitting at the table across the aisle from our booth. She was there with what appeared to be family (grandparents/parents, etc). No boyfriend.

She had an adorable dress on, perfect hair, light makeup (not that she needed any). This chick was probably too short, but I could see her as a contestant in the next Miss America pageant. I couldn't stop looking at her.

As the minutes ticked by, I felt undeniable attraction growing. My feet, hands, twig n' berries all started a'tinglin'. That's when she started taking peeks at me. She must have needed to be ignored, because I instinctively looked in her direction, but not at her (well, not when I felt she was looking for it, anyway). I could also see her foot tappin' under the table.

Halfway through our meal, it appeared they were done and ready to leave. She started to scoot along the bench, away from the table. She looked at me, uncrossed her legs...and then spread them wide. I could see every nook and cranny. And...I couldn't look away. I looked up and into her eyes...once again, not looking away. Then back down, and back up. Still looking, still spread wide.

We both snapped out of it. I went back to my conversation with my parents (who didn't notice, apparently). I looked back again, and her knees were pressed together, but her feet were apart and wiggling wildly. She then said her goodbyes to her family and left.

I can't get this whole experience out of my head. Especially those legs and panties.