+- Subliminal Talk (https://subliminal-talk.com)
+-- Forum: Men's Journals (18+ NSFW) (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals-18-NSFW)
+--- Forum: Men's Journals (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals)
+--- Thread: Am 6.0 first run (/Thread-Am-6-0-first-run)
RE: Am 6.0 first run - Kol - 05-22-2016
Im growing more cold and calculative, maybe somewhat more shallow in terms of feelings, detached. Its something I notice the last few days, that I have episodes of feeling barely a thing, but just being highly logical. I can seduce someone but its almost like an simple observation, aswell as an almost shallow investment. neediness reduced further and less involvement. Im also getting more strategic and sort out what works and don't. Im growing more secure and give less of a fuck. Also more of an push-pull without falling into the attachment trap. I can see this working with multiple girls. I'm definitely growing in this and its an matter of time before this becomes more natural. For some reason I am thinking about Ben's journal when he texted with girls. I can see this evolve way further. Im aware of myself more as an person. Im not attached to girls now, not even the one i'm texting with. There is still some guilt which im aware about, some anxiety responses. It makes me kinda foggy to even bring it up, yet the multiple girls dating feels slightly outside my control, like becoming this attractive person and just being that. Yet at the same time some sort of sigma wolf, with an raw darker edge.
Its an strong opposition to isolation and AM6 even makes me more extravert, more open, thriving and go get attitude-ish. Like violent and forcefull raw dominance to go out and fuck hiding or any of that stuff.
I experience more gratititude and had an nice experience this morning, like some theme in line with AM6, as if the universe threw that at me.
My bodylanguage and walk has changed again in an more "go get no bullshit" demeanor. almost rushing like getting into an fight.
Im feeling restless, more iritated, yet avoid drama. If she gives drama I directly turn off and grow cold and silent, like not rewarding such bullshit behaviour. Still slightly conflicting.
Reading deeper in power structures and strategies. Am aware that an few reads and putting into practice is more valuable then reading lots. Expression is the rule now. Marking territory. Branding it. Also having reoccuring thoughts of the disruptive sigma aura and how it translates.
I aswell am more agressive at the gym, more dominant, more focussed and am contemplating about going "on" and run an cycle.
RE: Am 6.0 first run - Sickologist - 05-22-2016
I like your thoughts, man. As Nietzsche would say, you're in the lion stage of life. Very powerful place to be in and completely necessary for every man.
The anger and coldness will go away when you're done slaying dragons, imaginary and real. From there you don't give a shit about people's perceptions cuz you have so much insight, power and patience to alter the big picture instead of punching unimportant walls in whatever-lane.
RE: Am 6.0 first run - AbundanceCH - 05-22-2016
(05-21-2016, 11:45 PM)Kol Wrote: My experience with women is that they Always seek to control your frame or want to break frame and turn you into an beta provider, even if they deny it, its almost hardwired and women nature.This right here is what we call an "affirmation" (they always seek to control your frame).
You are basically programming yourself to expect to encounter women like this by what you are affirming. You really need to check yourself (everyone should) and be wary of the stuff you tell yourself and others because those things create your reality.
This is an affirmation just like you or anyone else telling themselves "women only like jerks and bad boys." If you keep saying that then that's what you're going to get in your reality, but another guy next to you a nice guy he won't have that same reality. It's all about what you believe. Always choose the positive and check yourself when you get negative thoughts or feel like saying negative statements which will further grow your negative beliefs and those of others.
You are saying a lie because you know it's not ALWAYS women controlling your frame but just the women that happened to bruise your ego a bit and those are the ones you remember.
Why so negative? say instead "women are attracted to me and respect me" change your words change your life.
Quote:The whole drama with females and their bs makes me almost turn abusive in an way, total disregard for feelings and turning me cold.What you attract is based on what you are inside. You are making progress but try to stay away from the negative.
Your greatest teachers happen to be those women. Everyone is your teacher but those that make you angry and give you the most trouble just happen to be your biggest teachers. They are the ones that make you stronger and are healing your being. Remember that any anger caused by anyone is just showing you unhealed parts of your being.
RE: Am 6.0 first run - Kol - 05-23-2016
(05-22-2016, 11:06 AM)AbundanceCH Wrote:(05-21-2016, 11:45 PM)Kol Wrote: My experience with women is that they Always seek to control your frame or want to break frame and turn you into an beta provider, even if they deny it, its almost hardwired and women nature.This right here is what we call an "affirmation" (they always seek to control your frame).
You are basically programming yourself to expect to encounter women like this by what you are affirming. You really need to check yourself (everyone should) and be wary of the stuff you tell yourself and others because those things create your reality.
This is an affirmation just like you or anyone else telling themselves "women only like jerks and bad boys." If you keep saying that then that's what you're going to get in your reality, but another guy next to you a nice guy he won't have that same reality. It's all about what you believe. Always choose the positive and check yourself when you get negative thoughts or feel like saying negative statements which will further grow your negative beliefs and those of others.
You are saying a lie because you know it's not ALWAYS women controlling your frame but just the women that happened to bruise your ego a bit and those are the ones you remember.
Why so negative? say instead "women are attracted to me and respect me" change your words change your life.
Quote:The whole drama with females and their bs makes me almost turn abusive in an way, total disregard for feelings and turning me cold.What you attract is based on what you are inside. You are making progress but try to stay away from the negative.
Your greatest teachers happen to be those women. Everyone is your teacher but those that make you angry and give you the most trouble just happen to be your biggest teachers. They are the ones that make you stronger and are healing your being. Remember that any anger caused by anyone is just showing you unhealed parts of your being.
Very true and thank you for pointing that out. Applying the affirmation of "woman are attracted to me and respect me" is an enormous shift and makes sense in outcome independece. It reflects strongly on me.
And I agree those women are the greatest teachers. The more difficult and challenging the situation the bigger the lesson and make me indeed stronger. I have lots of negative stuff inside still but this has reduced lots. Have to ponder a bit on this post.
valuable post.
RE: Am 6.0 first run - Kol - 05-23-2016
Currently reading the blog of BD about alpha female's and : challenging women"and realizing that I have/had an scarcity mindset. If an girl gives drama she's out, but its an mature approach to see it as valuable to have more challenging women. His "problems are to be talked and discussed"is something I'm currently at and am honest to myself in that I can improve in that area. If she goes hysterical its an massive turn off and exit.
Approaching and being out and about, chatting women up, small talk and just interacting with women sets my mind back on track. Its unhealthy to have 1 option ( I have not fyi )
RE: Am 6.0 first run - Kol - 05-24-2016
day 26 incredibly tired yet realized I have some seperating walls in my mind holding me back, as in seperating home from work for example while it can be an all open field, which is empowering and causes some strong alpha vibe. I approach without second thought and am strongly reduced in being self-consious. Having lots of negativity coming up aswell as feeling very restless, stressed out and lots of emotions and feelings, causing me to become on edge.
Also bring up something in my mind to release it after which allows it to flourish.
RE: Am 6.0 first run - Kol - 05-25-2016
Manifestation kicks in again or is more obvious. I realize I'm Always encountering women and popening people is of no issue any longer. made me think about wolverine's seductive touch. This blond girl/women at the receptuion of my gym reacts submissive. At the gasstation I came across an ten ( this echoed in my mind, mindblown ) said hi. Also, thinkling about how cute an women is without approaching is pretty beta. Like, the approach has turned for me as something less stressfull then not doing it at all. Selfvalidation and entitlement. Just rolling and flowing with, almost like a dream.
* im feeling more zen, yesterday evening I felt some stonewalling, like some chainreaction of realizations, Feeling more at ease now. made me realize the absolute confidence and how fears are almost something tragic and sadness invoking, compassion even. ( selflove programming? )
Still getting angry about random things, making me feel like I'm going to lose it. having more memories popping up. realize letting go about things.
Going to evaluate my values and boundaries. Feel how AM seems to dominate my behaviour. people lock eyes with me more and women smile. Another women in an car did step out the moment I drove by.
Still the 10 at the gasstation feels different, like something different was about the whole situation.
feel like I can befriend anyone. Chatted some other people up at the gym and it was liek we knew eachother for years and it was as if I created my own party.
Deep psych and core changes going on due Alpha Male 6.0. fear release and looking into what the source of stress is, what the source of blocks are gives enormous sense of freedom. Im pretty sure the stuff I'm still dealing with will make sense eventually. feeling pretty awesome currently and breakthroughs are happening. Even if I'm dating an girl, im still the high value one. Some needyness, tenseness and anxieties where prese3nt the last few days sbut these seem to be solved somewhat, as if back to being the prize.
RE: Am 6.0 first run - Kol - 05-25-2016
Lots of stress coming up, lots of existential thoughts making me feel detached from reality, almost lost in thoughts and projecting, causing some rage to surface aswell. Discovered some black and white thinking and attachment and giving to much of an fuck about lots of things.
Recognizing limiting beliefs, want to increase Am exposure. Also not giving up space anymore, if this makes me being hated, so be it.
Welcoming challenges, My anxiety about people has turned in less respect and not giving an shit about people at this point. No justifications but rather backing up confidence.
refusing to break eye contact of first, itrs solid to the point that i cannot not lock. its like eyes glued with the other person.
having hot women in my life and encountering them lately more and more feels great.
Right now some rage is coming up and surfacing and lots of tension in my body. The end phase of stage 3 is heavy.
I also read people more from an observing point causing anxiety to be absent
RE: Am 6.0 first run - Kol - 05-25-2016
I begin to understand that I supressed feelings and had this convictiont hat alphas dont show feelings, and now its turning into acceptance. Its an process.
RE: Am 6.0 first run - Kol - 05-25-2016
Shifting between old feelings and confidence, not giving an fuck. ( day 28 ) Also, more release of negativity causing me to not wanting to write about some stuff, not out of supression but rather it feels negative and somewhat irrelevant. It is there but it feels old to write it out, like I am fed up with it.
Went full beta at the Phone yesterday, the thought makes me kind of resentfull. Need to set boundaries and staying true to myself without giving an shit about anyone in that matter but setting my frame.
The theme for the last few days on this stage seem to be mostly more garbage coming up and more negative feelings.
Also awareness of seeking external validation still affecting my mood, yet at the same time feeling awesome, my own, yet not lonely. It sets me back on track with an higher level of sense towards approaching and being in the world and amongst people.
Internal validation and self validation.
Listening the art of seduction audiobook now and realizing I don't need to have to do anything, no givign away of power and being more observant about it, letting my mind keep going on instead of being drawn into words. makes me very confident. Lots of thoughts surfacing and questions I am currently working out on it, such as facing the terrifying. Also, thinking about how to present myself, makes me think about pua and dhv. Its aswell an way of boundaries and applying logic, instead of setting one up for being seducted.
strong worry reduction and fairly calm and zen. what comes up doesnt get to me now, i rather accept it in an way. other blocks are dissolved and it was again different then I initally thought it would be. confident. Total removal of any layer moments resulting in being purely radiant, eyes are calmer displaying and have an certain different quality to them.
welcoming challenges.
In some ways I feel that this stage is subtle yet clearly working in my core.
RE: Am 6.0 first run - Kol - 05-27-2016
Im more stable ( day 29 ) then ever. My eyes just float and lock and I dont care anymore about if people show IOI's or not. made me think about what shannon wrote in a post on this forum. I also played with the projection of "i like you, i want to meet you"and this caused an direct eye lock from the other person, as if the picked it up. Other things are clicking, like some harmonic process, mastering my reality.
I still get defensive at times, I talked with some guy at the gym about form, and he shared one and another and noticed how I close off for a bit, as an emotional response rather then staying objective.
Had more eye fucking at the gym by different women, obvious, other people where shy or acted rather submissive, im getting more agressive and outspoken in my bodylanguage. I read people more easy and notice all kind of behaviour traits in people. Some people stand out like they have some natural quality to them or some sorts, like an aura.
Im feeling pretty awesome today, yesterday I felt so stable and zen I didnt want to go to bed in the first place, it was being pure content with myself.
deeper understanding in alpha and fearlessness, in seeking and welcoming the challenge, the harder the better. Alpha in many forms, subtle and not so subtle. Taking more responsibility and looking back on the old person. its like peeling some layers and renewal every time.
shifts between thoughts as to how AM changes me yet aswell not giving an fuck about anyone and just going all out gain maximum profit from the sub. Stage 4 will be empowering.
RE: Am 6.0 first run - Kol - 05-27-2016
beginning o understand the power the 48 laws of power has. Had an sort of panic attack, atleast an strong physical response but more of an detached kind yet realizing that it was tenseion and that I am still alpha. Getting aware of more internal patterns revolving around guilt.
having re-occuring thoughts of narcissism nd for some reason it makes me feel euphoric and something been set in motion. Strong thoughts aswell revolving presenting and the how. I feel something is being overcome and whatever it is, is okay. Even if this means becoming less sensitive and more narcissistic. Could be because i am exposed and my interests revolves back towards this stuff. Otherwise iot might be the ruthless business idea.
Also sorting out my time better.
RE: Am 6.0 first run - Kol - 05-28-2016
gtting aware of some stuff that blocks my long term happiness, such as "being alpha is hving tolerance and not caring". Well I do care, and in an way it feels unhealthy to not do so, thus its not really non caring, its an tolerance for drama negatively affecting me. soft nexting and hard nexting.
It turns basically out that I adopt BD´s frame yet its an old pattern to be to tolerant towards bullshit. Its empowering to be the Judge and decider.
having some thoughts around attraction switches, also getting increasingly agressive and am dominant and pacing aorund in the gym and want to smash shit up for no reason, just pure agression, it translates itself in not giving an fuck about anyone or anything, almost anti-social stuff and tunnelvision, crushing whatever comes on my path, translates itself in also less involvement/attachment and staying true without giving an fuck about the outcome, aware of my own person.
Taking lifting way more seriously aswell as in, more time spending on that
RE: Am 6.0 first run - Kol - 05-29-2016
day 31,
selfworth and self respect kick in. also more centred, being more selctive in rewarding behaviour and selective as to hows and whens instead of throwing myself at the feet of women. Disrespect somewhat angers me at this point bu have still lots of subconscious stuff in terms of beta behaviour causing conflict.
Am more dominant to the point I can look people straight in the eyes and even through them. people qualify themselves more, still this stage 3 makes me very tired, almost like the whole run makes me tired. Still questioning some beliefs of mine, causing conflict in terms of an paradox.
No woman is worth it to have goals, mission and long term happiness to be screwed over. Im feeling more mature. seizing directly control and when in public my second thoughts are mostly reduced to zero. one day to go on stage 3.
Sidenote: weed makes me beta as fuck. MAy quit all addiction except the gym. Also, I seem to recover faster in terms of, soreness in my body doesnt really phase me and I'm moving on
I begin to see peoples postures more and read them better, Like some are clearly beta, others gamma. Not sure where this comes from, its like how people walk, what they show externally, liek some sort of personality energy or some sort. People dont have to say anything yet I begin to spot alphas easier.
By interacting with people and talking, you stand out in an way, like you suddenly exist and an spotlight is directed on you, instead of being invisible. Its social proof. Still being the centre of attention is something to be getting used to.
Negative thoughts and affirmations surface but rather on the background, at times filling my mind, but in an sense my essence/core changes.
edit1: Im getting more detached, yet go deeper. Spome fear blockages are gone and am taking full responsibility as an man. She can get angry but it doesnt really phase me and guilt trip are less affecting me at all. It goes deeper, an skill develops or is brought out by the subliminal. The field once again opens up more and I feel at peace yet knowing there is more to come. Its an more cetred approach of it all, more of an masucline, less involved and sucked in kind of fram,e. Women get hurt, may give drama but now I can facve it without feeling all tense and anxious and what not.