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+--- Thread: Devil of Hells Kitchen Journal (/Thread-Devil-of-Hells-Kitchen-Journal)
RE: Hercules Guilt, Shame and Fear Eradication Vol. 1 - Shannon - 06-11-2017
You keep saying "you will", but this only applies to you. Others may have entirely different experiences.
RE: Hercules Guilt, Shame and Fear Eradication Vol. 1 - Daredevil - 06-11-2017
(06-11-2017, 03:02 PM)Shannon Wrote: You keep saying "you will", but this only applies to you. Others may have entirely different experiences.
What do you mean? The amount of days?
RE: Hercules Guilt, Shame and Fear Eradication Vol. 1 - Shannon - 06-11-2017
(06-09-2017, 08:09 AM)Daredevil Wrote:E2 15 Month Reviewand One on January 1st 2019 which is the last day of E2.
So I am Here with My Review of E2 460/1031 days in.
Most of my surface fears have gone away such as the fear of being late and the fear of not doing work. This has conversely made me more of a procrastinator. Its hard to actually tell what is going on with me because of the naturalizer and my subconscious 3 monkeys societal programming of See no evil, Hear no evil and speak no evil. Although I cant see my own changes clearly, many people say I have changed alot.
E2 side effects
--If you play E2 out loud in your room and nobody is in your room and the noise doesn't go out your room nobody will be affected by the subliminal.
--If someone walks in your room and stays in for 2 minutes, they will start to act weird the rest of the day and most probably get angry at you for the simplest stuff.
--I have been getting spasms in different ares of my body. First it was the Legs from March 2016 to February 2017 and from then on it has been the jaws and the neck.
--Its not crazy spasms but more like facial tics.
--If you masturbate earlier in the day then run E2 later you will have some weird ass DARK dreams.
--Most dreams on E2 is dark for me and about fighting somebody. Onetime my father snapped my neck in my dream.
-- You will go from feelings of universal love to wanting to do some dark shit to people you are mad at and will bring up thoughts of just stabbing yourself for no reason with no emotion behind it.
--E2 will also deliver you out of a lot of trouble and accidents. I cant recall the amount of times I have been saved from traumatic events.
Well that is my review, if you want to ask questions leave them below. I will be having 2 More Reviews. One on March 6th 2018 (2 year mark)
The things in bold... may not be universally applicable, as you have asserted them to be by what you have said.
RE: Hercules Guilt, Shame and Fear Eradication Vol. 1 - Daredevil - 08-25-2017
I just used Ultra Sonic for E2 for the first time ever and within a few minutes I had the urge to take a dump. I took a YUGE dump. I wonder if it's because of me releasing pain in my body that it corresponds to me Releasing Shit in the toilet to be flushed away forever.
I have decided also to jump on the DMSI train and Run that Starting November 1st 2017 instead of running E2 because this is not giving me the results I wanted.
I am in a down cycle in my life where things are coming to an end and I am stuck restructuring my life goals and aspirations as my childhood dreams come crumbling down and new structures are being built in my mind.
The main thing I want is to be able to do is express my anger outward. I can not for some reason push my anger outward and it always collapses in on myself.
RE: Hercules Guilt, Shame and Fear Eradication Vol. 1 - Daredevil - 08-25-2017
I had a dream of going to a witch to see if her power was real and I volunteered to be put under her curse but it didn't work and she was a fraud and then she attacked me for finding out she was a fraud.
Had some trippy dreams in the past few days also of me being abducted by aliens, being trapped in pocket dimensions etc.
RE: Devil of Hells Kitchen Journal - Daredevil - 08-29-2017
I have been Running this Sub for 541 days and all I have seem to be getting is Wisdom Enhancement. Whatever is going on with me under the roof I cannot see it. I know I am not full emotionally healed but there are some things that have been going down recently.
Whenever I think of the wrongs people did to me I feel compassion for them and want to forgive me, but if I meet them again like my parents and they upset me all that goes out the window and I get judgmental again.
Also this Sub is pushing me to run DMSI or UD so I have set a Landing Stage time where I Max out the Hours Run then I start tapering off in the beginning of October, Stop in the Middle and Run DMSI on November 1st 2017.
The only reason I am running DMSI instead of UD is because DMSI will be the first 6G sub and I want the Latest tech in order to get a thorough healing experience. The Sex factor is just a Side effect and I am not looking for that as a main dish.
There also was confirmation that I am healing because My mother found something from when I was Six that was a Good memory but it was the start of the time when I felt lonely and out of place, like I don't fit in even with children. I had a good friend in my class and we used to talk a lot but the teacher wanting to assert her authority broke us up and separated us. I used to call him on the phone at 5 years old talking to him and socializing and he was one of the only true friends that I have ever had I my entire life. Needless to say, the administration probably was told by the teacher that we were a nuisance and needed to be broken up so next year in 2nd grade we were broken apart and we grew apart. In 3rd grade I started to get bullied because I gave off a different vibe and thought so differently and was highly intelligent so I started getting bullied by girls. Now I know that they were probably shit testing me since they saw that I was like the only boy in the school with A Deep voice. I failed the tests and became depressed.
One thing that has stuck with me to wrap up is the fact that when I graduated, I got my book signed by a teacher and he told me in the book that once I focus I will become successful. I could not read his handwriting and I looked over that book many times over the years. It was only in 2016 that I was able to read the message. It is true, I am not focused and am scatter brained. This is one of my biggest weaknesses. I think that things happen for a reason and some doors don't open before it's time and this is one example of this.
RE: Devil of Hells Kitchen Journal - Daredevil - 08-29-2017
Around that time at six I pierced the veil and saw Animals and spirits in my room with definite shape and texture but lost that ability as I went on.
I started to get the ability back on E1 where I started having intense poltergeist experiences with being pulled off the bed by What you can say are ghosts (maybe can be rule 4, but ghosts are Morre paranormal that religious) and seeing people in the corner of my eye along with seeing black outlines of people walking in my room. It went on for 2 months along with Heart Palpitations and Bioenergetic type tremors that were light in my head. I also had extreme anxiety and was afraid of everything and could not sleep during that time.
I see black figures and I feel things touch me at night or while I am washing dishes while nobody is touching me but it isn't as bad as when I started running E1.
RE: Devil of Hells Kitchen Journal - Daredevil - 08-29-2017
Interestingly enough as a go through my Sub History since Hindsight is 20/20, the first dream I had while running ASC which was my first sub is that I was being Chased by a lion in the Savanna and another part was that I was watch a person being strangled by a snake in my living room as my house flooded.
I didn't know about Shannon and his avatar then, I just saw the site and good advertising so I was like, Fvck it I'll just run this sub called ASC because it's free. Later in the month of September I joined the forum and then I saw Shannons Avatar but I haven't made the seeming connection until now.
RE: Devil of Hells Kitchen Journal - Daredevil - 08-29-2017
I also Have been getting instructions in my dreams to go places and read stuff like one dream I was Told that I should read Rumi and his poetry, I haven't read it.
Another day I was told that something would be waiting for me at a place, I haven't gone to that place.
I was lucid in those two dreams but I wasn't controlling the person who was talking to me and I didn't create him consciously.
Along with Instructions I have been in a Classroom situations and been taught by someone and I can feel whatever there teaching me is important but most times I forget what has been taught. Sometimes I remember what has been said and I take what has been said and put it on the forum in the form of answers when people ask me a question which is similar to what has been taught to me in my dream state.
RE: Devil of Hells Kitchen Journal - Daredevil - 08-29-2017
I have been reading my Old Journals that are offline and I see over time I realized that I have 2 main problems. I have a problem with fear of my own power and because of that I am always running from myself and not facing who I am and becoming what I need to be. Basically I am at the Refusal of the Call in the Heroes journey. I lack self love also and overall I just hate myself because I am not accepted by others. My whole life I was always rejected. I tried to fit in but that made me stand out even more. It's like I wasn't made for this puzzle set. I don't even know who I am. I must be hitting something because all this is just coming out today.
RE: Devil of Hells Kitchen Journal - Daredevil - 08-30-2017
Im Gonna Post some old Posts in my Offline Journal that I never got to post.
RE: Devil of Hells Kitchen Journal - Daredevil - 08-30-2017
7/20/16
• So during E2 I have been having weird dreams that were incoherent and had no logical start and end point for me. Also I am starting to experience spasms in my skull muscles and the rest of my body as I run more hours of E2. The spasms only used to come in the legs but now they are coming everywhere. I think that because of no fap my dreams are getting started again. I haven't had wet dreams yet and I think this is due to me tapering off of sexual thoughts and lists due to me fantasizing going out of control now and I can see most of my shadow side junk coming out due to my sexuality. I wrote down an analysis of me yesterday that really outlined that if I want to heal myself and be a better person I had to change my dominant mind patterns, which are holding me back big time in the long run.
7/21/16
I dreamt in this nights dream that I was a closet psychic in WW2 England and that I worked as a butler for the royal family. Somehow I overheard at the Royal dinner table about a ship being downed in the sea and I stated that I had a vision that was gonna happen. Then I started to tell the people at the table about somethings I intuitively know about them that was impossible to know at first glance
7/22/16
So I have been realizing that I have been getting the spasms in my head again but unlike the spasms that felt like worms in my head in E1, I am getting spasms in my cranial muscles at random times. The Spasms in my legs have been gone for a while and they have recently gone up to my upper body and pelvic area with one time I felt spasms in my thoracic spine. I have been having thoughts of me hating myself constantly and it really has been debilitating. I never have been so insecure in the past year and it seems that E2 is taking me back to pre- E1 levels of being and state. I still don't know or understand what this mechanism is for but an interesting thing is that when I held my fathers hand I felt this sensation too. It's probably trying to tell me something but I haven't put 2+2 together. I had a dream last night that a white snake with small black spots on its skin was chasing me and I was apart of the knights Templar and we killed the snake. While the Snake was chasing me I felt fear towards it. I also had a wet dream in the night. This is very strange but it shows that I am going through some profound changes.
7/24/16
In the dream I had this night I had a dream that I saw Jada Pinket naked with her body out. Also I dreamt I was eating humans for a meal and I saw a tounge in my food.(I do not promote Cannabalism) Earlier that day I had a dream that I had to save the world since it was going into chaos and to do that, me and 6 other chosen ones who had no past lives together had to activate it. It was a spaceship and we flew into space.
7/26/16
So I have been learning more and more about emotional healing and trauma and I can see how trauma manifests in my body and character. I find it hard to breathe deeply and I cannot breathe down into my body since my pelvic area won't open up much with my breath and this is a manifestation of me being cut off from my balls or my masculinity. This has affected me in many ways and one example is that I was succeptible to bullying in school and didn't assert myself like how my father was a tyrant to me and any assertion to him was seen as a threat to his power. When I assert myself against the bullies he doesn't support me 100% and gets mad at me so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. E2 is now bringing up shit and it seems like I'm staring the Oedipal complex storyline with my father. He's Saturn and I'm Jupiter and he is afraid of me usurping him. Every student must kill his master . (I'm not gonna kill him for real). And for the past day I have been getting so angry for no reason and anger just keeps on coming up and I had a dream about me fighting with my father yesterday. But one thing for sure is that the bell can't be un rung. I started E2 and now it is impossible to stop until I finish clearing the trauma. I don't know how you guys could just switch subs so much when you have E2 to heal you but you desire superficial things more.
This is all I could Salvage
RE: Devil of Hells Kitchen Journal - Daredevil - 08-30-2017
Last night I was listening to the ultrasonic track and I felt intense fear and hate. It seeks like the US is more effective so im just gonna run the US for now instead of the masked track. No dreams recalled but another thing is that something happens with my eyes when listening to the ultra sonic track wherenit gets kinda sleepy but im not sleepy if you get what I mean. At the same time it feels like alot of energy is concentrated there.
RE: Devil of Hells Kitchen Journal - Daredevil - 08-31-2017
I hate Every Second of healing after a while seeing that I could be doing a more interesting sub like DMSI or LTU, or BASE, or AM6. I see people running DMSI and slaying poon or poonteasing women while I'm here just healing my past traumas. But it is Nescassary for me and that's why I am doing It. I saw the detrimental effects of Sub hopping and Shannons warning against it and that's why I ran E2 for this long. I am still contemplating DMSI vs UD but I am Leaning towards UD because I really need to get rid of the negativity In my life and clear out all the Vaccines, heavy metals and Pesticides in my body. I still don't understand how a person can run a sub for only 90 days in my mind since no sub really run that long gives lasting results from what I see. I'm building foundation for AM7 so when that time comes to Run that Sub It will be smooth sailing. I will also be Shannons test subjects on what happens when you run a healing Sub for an extended period of time then run a heavy set program. Does it really get rid of Resistance?