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+--- Thread: ASC 5g journal (/Thread-ASC-5g-journal)
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 01-29-2016
day 52 ( 44 days remain + ? )
Its as going back to the basics. ASC changes from the inside out and the very core. My head is an mess. Im getting aware of more negative self talk and limiting believes. Fine. It will be solved. To get aware of them is half the work, only to realize these limiting beliefs are ridiculous and based on nothing in the end.
I experience some disdain in general aswell towards people and an sort of separation. Its not isloation or depression but something else. It feels meaningless but not in an depressing way, aswell as sensing an deeper sort of confidence being installed/formed.
Did read this morning Sigma shock and it resonated somewhere and its where those sense of disdain came from. My vision is way beyond as it once was. Not really helicopter view but definitely visionairy.
It all seems to come together.
I think limiting beliefs of deserving are surfacing now. Im getting aware of negative self talk aswell lately. It feels slighly paralyzing, like being kept in place. Even when I'm very confident, those still will pop up but are dealt with.
The responses of people yesterday were clear. Some turn their heads almost 180 degrees but not many are able to hold it and an big amount of people look down or avoid doing so even from afar as some automatic response. Eye contact is there and it happens automatically. I literally dont care who it is, couples, my eyes lock, and know this is causing responses in people, including arousal in females. I naturally work the room and set the frame. Its mostly subconscious.
As Lionking says, ASC takes control of the body and part is watching. Its exactly that. Its just happening yet I feel not passive at all, rather fuelled and motivated.
Im really thinking to take it beyond 96 days right now. It might have been resistance before wanting to switch subs. But now ASC's influence only grows and increases.
My libido and sex drive is still low right now, tied to internal changes.
Slightly anxious to make some jump again, perhaps tied to some beliefs regarding communication with the subconscious.
Tiredness still continues.
Edit: again I feel on fire right now. Thinking over social rules has triggered an masive response inside and might have been key to some release. This topic is huge and makes up lots of the mind of many, programming and what not. Its an dissection of whats imposed on and structured. It places one in an different position and causes some "objective" shift. It resonates strongly and thats enough to transcend even further. Im feeling more mature, more confident, more capable then I ever was. Its reading upon 'sigma male' which caused this switch. Game over. Its endless possibilities without following the norm, not out of defense, I dont care about hurt anymore or risk. Its inate settled now. Disruption is fun. My sexual approach is more primal, more intense now, Its all coming together and the excitement burns inside.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 01-29-2016
Currently reading Sigma shock. Overwhelming similarities, like an almost 1 on 1 reflection of myself. Its mindblowing. Now I'm thinking about disruption in my life and how this is linked to the subs and the way it changes. The dark before it gets better so to say. My approach has shifted now towards many things, I cant pinpoint it still, but my confidence is getting rock solid. The changes that stir and dig up fear and feelings are so worth it. Change is never easy which could be seen as an limited belief. Had yesterday also some insight in punish-reward system and how it is related to push-pull and tension, and how this tension may be seen animalistic mating aswell as stirring up in relationship. Another change and sign the goodguy badge is undone, yet I remember some taboo regarding this punish reward stuff. Kinda social stigma.
I seem to get aware of vibes aswell. Neediness has an different vibe/origin then non-neediness, like some sort of energy current.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 01-30-2016
day 53 ( + 43 remain + whatever is needed )
Okay, the social circle thing is definitely something I gravitate to and should look into further. Its running wild right now. I can make connection with people easily, although there is slight resistance at times depending on how upfront ASC is at that moment. I can connect easy with people but want quality connections, an true social network instead of the few true connections now. Feel like an breakthrough now going on, and am deciding to not lay it in the light of neediness or non neediness, Im thinking about female connections, its playing in my mind currently and how social events may become an part of it.
Lots of plans but all over the place. Time to put it to work, no excuses, no hesitation.
It makes me think over the friend manifestation of AM 6.0
I reverted yesterday back into my head and I couldnt stand it. When I recall, my mood drops directly affecting confidence. Its an ongoing theme. I am unaffected by tension although, as in, I dont pick up on peoples moods so extremely easy and let it affect me.
My bodylanguage has improved again, or atleast, changed and way more dominant. It just happens by itself, chest out, laid back a bit. When people call me out, I can hold unrelentless eye contact without flichning at all. I can look them straight in the eye no matter what they try to play on me.
Sexual thoughts surface in my head aswell. Its all tied to confidence. It all make sense. Im taking full reign now. Dressing better, taking better care of myself and instilling routine. I dont care simply right now.
Im thinking as to what this fear of calling out is actually. Overthinking matters like this causes an instant frustration response. If it is actually confidence and will be convered by ASC or that something else is needed, like OGSF or OF 5G, emotional healing sub or what else.
ASC is raw. Its raw energy. My business mindset is reaching new hights. Im flowing currently, trusting deep in the sub knowing it will take everything on. Im connecting on social media more and more with business accounts and am thinking about my goals, my plans and what not. At times im total disinterested into other people. I notice but its that, noticing, no secundairy atatchments to them. Im reviewing where my passions lie, to become more selfmade. Im also thinking about my lifes passion, how it might be an combination and coming together of multifactors. Im undoubtly presenting. My heart feels elevated in excitement and euphoria.
I notice lots of subconscious responses, like an whole different way of communicating, like some underlying something.
Currently Im very focussed driven and new stuff is dissolved and let go due sheer flooding by the sub, its an lock feeling, an being put with my face into the tidal wave. Repeat after me; I dont care. Its freeing.
The sub will often put me aside, not isolating, but more of reduction in social desire and wanting. More of an lone wolf, while other times I absolutely feel the need of company and even become soft? reframe the 3 month not as some limit but as an walk with ASC seems to reduce some resistance.
There is so much to notice and so much to add and I wonder how much matters of it. I can analyze it till death but it doesnt get me anywhere. yes, the sub works and thats about it and is enough. I feeling way more confident then I was and I am am confiden t because I am. I am dominant because I am. Electrifying. Breakthrough. I notice some sort of vibration around the heart area aswell. Pleasantly. No go out and make it happen, even if it is internal changes, all eveidence is welcome. Not because of insecurity and lack of confidence, but because I can and all experience = growth aswell. Not because to look for evidence into other people. That just happens aswell and doesnt matter in the end.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 01-31-2016
Again, I feel writing an journal brings up excuses. Am I to hard on myself? probably. Going out and connecting isnt so much of an problem, its more biting the bullet, taking the step to go out. I keep somehow resisting this. Once I recognize and acknowledge that going out will only bring benefits with itself in the end for my social circle building, the brakes are removed, only to slip back into it.
It feels like the ultimate mindfuck currently, while in the end experience = experience = growth and it doesnt really matter. There are many feelings tied to it, and im getting slightly agitated about it. Stop chasing only good feelings.
Whole lot of negativity is surfacing right now, its like an review of all the crap.
Also, 2 weeks ago (?) my plane was running ASC -> DAOS/BIATBWS -> AM 6.0 - > BASE?
now its more appealing to run ASC -> AM 6.0 -> BASE
-> SM/WM
I now notice an shift in organisation. I look back on things and its Obvious how much of an shift has taken place,
Side note: Escalation/woman and the such is no problem. I only seem to encounter situations where it is not appropriate, or I tell myself its not appropriate to do so. Escalation has clicked in more then once but my mind currently seems to be focussed on other thiings. I do recognize my subconscious communicating what to do next even? Like impulse towards sub and not so towards others ( AM 6.0/ OF 5G ) Right now im running my current sub and should stick with it.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-01-2016
day 55 ( 41 days + what is necessary remains )
Im getting more opinionated on things, more militant and agressive.
At times I wonder whats happening, my approach towards feelings is getting more mature. It makes me think as to working through the feelings instead of having them dominate me and being reactionairy. I still am at times.
Im wondering how ASC seems to create some aura lately. When I look in the mirror I radiate confidence, its almost like some sort of second body, some energetic body. Im feeling incredibly sure in myself. Yes, I still think about things occasionaly and walk still against walls (blocks? defenses being dissolved? ) interms of what I want, but hesitation is reduced. Occasional thoughts seem to bring up the same responses over and over again, in terms of approach, going out and the such. It causes some slight panic in me, some uneaseness and confusion as if it stirs up conflict. Its an block like some fort. ASC doesnt just deal with inhibitations, it floods and takes the person to an whole different new level of existence and living. Its transcending, electrifying and can get only more obvious. Im having deep trust. External responses are just that. Its mindblowing. yesterday it was as if the sub created some sort of blanked slowly falling down on my shoulders and around my neck. Vibrant. My brain was hot and glowing.
I have thoughts of opposing approaching girls. Instead im being thrown back in confidence, like an magnet, reducing in neediness and what not. It keeps changing me in new ways and feels very natural at times that I barely to not notice and wonder if the sub is working ( lol )
Im gravitating towards more leader stuff, economics and politics.
After the rut of yesterday, eventually I relaxed, causing the sub to solidify. It was almost some sort of lesson, that acceptance is an part aswell, instead of aiming high and striving, my mind is quite busy with lots of plans. Its very frustrating to not get to an plan as of now.
I feel the sub getting even more and more powerfull and dominating, all will eventually being dealt with. I had flashback before I went to bed about my dad being all humiliating in the presence of other people and disrespecting me and what not, traumas and the such. Stirred up anger. Could watch it come up and pretty easy let it pass.
Now that OGSF 5G and OF 5G have been released, its tempting, but i am currently more sure then ever that I should go on with ASC. As if an new level of acceptance has been reached and settled. No more doubts, ASC is the way to go.
Im feeling an sense in my heart. I was thinking how ASC seems to affect and change on deep levels and how it relate to the heart. I dont know really. Its some sort of itchy feeling right now, other times it feels vibrant. Having mental images of glowing when i present myself and people fall in awe. All is confidence right now.
Im more and more drawn to high status lifestyle and high value stuff. Suits are very appealing, work ethic is going to the roof. Multiple projects are appealing in my mind, aswell as involving in several social circles. Im thinking about signing up for toastmasters and am absolutely unshakable in my self belief and belief in my skills. Being surrounded by an crowd is great. Quality is greater. Abundance. Still having some old beliefs coming up from my former life and more trauma coming up and stirred up from the subconscious.
Also may skip journalling for days just to let asc do its thing without documenting it. Time to move on.
Ultrasonic is playing currently. Listening to Ben Shapiro aswell.
RE: ASC 5g journal - LionKing - 02-01-2016
I picked up the Sigma book as well and I'm reading it now. Good tip. There's a lot there that I identify with, more than I thought there would be. I think its a good note that you do indeed need to become a different person to survive the fight of breaking free and making your own way. Really fits in well with ASC. He talks about using external sources of motivation until your inner voice becomes louder; I'm thinking this is the same as using subs until the programming sinks in and you learn to expect and demand it of yourself.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-02-2016
(02-01-2016, 02:30 AM)LionKing Wrote: I picked up the Sigma book as well and I'm reading it now. Good tip. There's a lot there that I identify with, more than I thought there would be. I think its a good note that you do indeed need to become a different person to survive the fight of breaking free and making your own way. Really fits in well with ASC. He talks about using external sources of motivation until your inner voice becomes louder; I'm thinking this is the same as using subs until the programming sinks in and you learn to expect and demand it of yourself.
I havent yet finished it but when i start reading it, it was like an reflection and an outline of my life basically. The idea came from AlphaMind's journal.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-02-2016
(02-01-2016, 11:21 PM)helloworld Wrote:(01-10-2016, 12:20 AM)Kol Wrote: Day 32
The last few days i notice an increase in focus and drive. Im getting even more confident then i was before. What used to cause tension and anxiety is pretty much gone. Im getting waves of wanting to approach people even more strongly. It feels very automatic. Im getting more in an active position instead of mere bystander. each limit is seen as something that can be overcome and shoudl be tested.
Im pretty sure im turning into an approach machine.
Plans are formed in my mind but nothing concrete in terms of jobs. wearing suits is appealing. I notice how people respond different to me in conversation. I hold eye contact even longer which is interesting. My bodylanguage is open and I tried to see if I could take on an close posture but this didnt work.
Im beginning to fall in acceptance, an trust in ASC. I dont have to prove myself any longer i can hold eye contact with people, it just happens naturally and autmatically. I naturally establish dominance but not in an loud kind of way. Its my presence, my being.
When I went to the gasstation, some guys which I clasify as typical around here, which used to somehow cause an reaction in me, looked directly away, i was absolutely solid. Conversations go even more fluid.
Sexuality is affected. Im my first post I wrote how the sub seems to cause an reduction in interest in girls, porn and sex in general and throws it back on myself. I notice one moment i can be very attracted and basically am "whatever, i will take you both" while the next moment it just doesnt do it for me, even to the point of strong dislike in an cocky way and shutted down disinterest. This involves an strong eye gazing aswell, an sort of lock trance kind of thing.
I have images in my head pop up about owning the place and inviting myself in, in places. being the top dog, the alpha. Being the one setting the frame and owning, being the dominant one in an natural way. connecting, leader of man, that kind of stuff. Its in an bar aswell, or atleast the setting is like that.
Im thinking back to where I came from and how much I have changed. I used to fall into other peoples frames till the point of suffering out of surviving, which eventually led to breakdown. Now, ASC corrects me, it attacks those former situations and pushes me right on the spot, causing an aggressive response inside towards such damaging patterns.
I chatted up with an old friend. I also have an 10 year plan in mind but its nothing concrete yet.
Another thing I notice is that I feel light, as in, less garbage, which seem to be an effect through clearing the subconscious by the sub.
Day 33
Today is day 33. I had lots of dreams which i still sense but cannot recall. I woke up multiple times with my earbuds out and listened to trickling stream. Im driven, like solid and foussed.
I have also been in the situation of falling into other people's frame all the time, and even loosing my own frame, I don't even know if I have one. I decided to go back to ASC as my confidence is so damn low and my trust for my own ideas is basically zero. However I'm becoming some kind of disrespectful douche, which compares to my old self was a happy uncaring dude. Did you experience this? Is this the way that boundaries are shaped?
It took some time for me to have an frame as I had almost none. Now its solid. Boundaries came more from inside as far as I recall, an sense of "no more"but without any fear, you will know when this happens. I have had moments of getting more antisocial, becoming cocky, arrogant, laughing at things. Its all part of the sub. ASC has made me voice myself instead of hesitating, as since yesterday i have an growing sense of continueing momentum and that all is important, only to flow more unbroken. Thoughtless action.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-02-2016
(02-01-2016, 01:36 PM)FrostedFake Wrote: I just realized, you are kol from the vampire diaries
Hehe
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-02-2016
day 56 ( 40 remain + whatever is needed )
- flow momentum and no breaks. all that is approached is met with value. if not, discard. the sub burns from the inside. the flow momentum allows me to be on fire all the time, to flow without break, as if you did one approach and set an chain reaction in motion.
- yesterday i had many beliefs going on regarding the sub, how and what it does, only to eventually have it discard and realize asc will dominate that. Replaced. Im going in many different directions. Having many options. Right now, high value sense is here and im utterly capable.
- new girl at work yesterday. I noticed an different way of interaction and handling. I was calm, collected. No thoughts of what to do, my stance was more confident, thumb to crotch, legs spread, taking space like some cowboy, walking away from her. She was attracted like some wasp to honey, all chatting me up, following me, mi-micking. Eye contact are not the only IOI, she threw eyes at me multiple times but other indicators where way more obvious. At this point, I have no interest at all as I type this. My mind projected all kinds of sexual thoughts on her, envisioning her moist, getting physical, like something set in motion.
- reduction in hesitation, my mind is on fire now. I will, I get. no second thoughts currently, only sheer confidence.
- when looking in the mirror, my eyes have an intense quality. I notice little censoring, some humbleness maybe?
- people fall in my activity instead of me involving in theirs.
- I can do anything. nothing hold me back, at all. Its felt in my heart. My whole body is vibrant and slightly shivering.
I was thinking as to how to compare this feeling of radiance and vibrance. Its a bit similar to the technology that tony stark has in its chest ( the guy from iron man )
Inner changes get even more and more big that I lose track just because its so all involving and changing. Yesterday evening I noticed that when I feel nothing, not an calm, but an eerily sort of nothing, it set me into motion with feeling slightly negative and frustrated and from there is escalated. Some sort of energy unable to release and let go. .
Im living more in the now, pushed out of my head, automatic.
Feeling bit sad right now.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-03-2016
The sub changes me into an approach machine. Hesitation is dealt with even more. Made instant eye contact with an new girl at danceclasses and gave eachother multiple eye checkouts.|Did revert to old ways at dance, which was suprising as on the way to it I had massive confidence and my mind was nowhere near that, breaking one after another barrier down, turning me into pure confidence. Teased the new girl to participate into class and she did eventually,
Eye contact was still pretty solid with other people, like with 2 other girls, there is no loss in eye contact, only win win. I dont really care any longer about responses from people, another girl at dance walked in, i greeted, made eye contact and she didnt even respond. before I would be concerned but now it was rather funny.
Yesterday my heartrate went skyhigh to the point I had to take a break from listening, it was almost pounding right out of my chest so something deep has been possibly hit. My whole body tensed up, fear runned, Thought i was going to pass out and had panic sensations aswell as nausea. At work some new persons were present, and I walked automatically towards one woman and hold firm eye contact with her and shook hands. she didnt know how to handle that at all. | realized what adding value is instead of taking. Its obvious really.
My talking has more expression, the sub pushes me out of my head. Im using my hands, more expression in talking. Im comfortable, and if im not, then even thats fine. Im having an clear sense of self importance, selflove, confidence. Im curious as to where I will be after these 3 months +
My dream was clear this night. dysfunctional balance of relationship, being blown out, having conflict with some guy, to eventually grasp girls left and right, and make out with them. The dream was lucid and i woke up from the dream very confident. The girl with who I made out was shocked but gave in pretty quick. It was intense. Lots of symbolism and woke up pretty sure it was the sub doing this. It was very real. makes me even more driven
As if something felt into place. am feeling very sexual currently, not horny, but sexual seductive. After waking from the dream ( around 3 o clock, sp00ky shitz! ) i was very energized and wide awake. The next dream was with familiarities, but this was more awkward.
Ones frame is also an subconscious communication, like being solid and an sense of boundaries. Its non verbal communication and statement. Like an "dont fuck with me" kind of vibe.
have some millionair rockstar kind of sense going on at times.
have lots of interest right now in abundance of woman and sleeping with multiple woman. Escalation is easily triggered into doing. I tend to trigger myself in frame. Other times Im totally disinterested. The dream I had has definitely caused some shift as im more certain then ever to escalate and seduce. I also have an sense that seduction is part of this, of confidence, being sexy, like an trait.
Im seeing asc being pure confidence in many ways and covering everything, almost disembodied and sheer force/confidence.
I get at times an sense of my bodylanguage, how it is different or slightly off. Right now, my mind is fully turning into action, calmth and confidence. Also lack of needs present itself more and more. Just confidence and being okay with yourself. yes, I am aware of the polarizing effects of ASC, but this is perfectly fine.
Did had some conversations with people involving leadership roles. Euphoria. Lots is becoming "normal" and self explainatory. Also at times I get really cocky and bitchy, a-social even. I at times have an sense that my eye contact might be to intense and burns right into people causing responses, other times they seem to be an relaxingseductive gaze. Im noticing its just there and other times its an wave of interest and curiosity. This non neediness confidence is actually liberating. Im wondering how I did function before all of this. Im still getting aware of new things, neediness, agenda and what not, making me slightly insecure sometimes.
I had thoughts about the inner child.
Acceptance plays an massive role.
Defensiveness is being dealt with. Due my ptsd being defensive comes with it. On the road towards dance I had this realisation ( perhaps due listening to Ben Shapiro's safespace stuff which is basically the opposite of confidence ) that defensiveness comes from an place of insecurity. I have multiple experiences and occasions how I felt vulneratble, yet being fully in the open, present. I tend to want to make stuff click from there ( or is it the sub? i dont know. )
I greet people openly, start converastions randomly with people right of the bat and hold eye contact, I dont shy away anymore, well, 95% of the time, depending on my inner state and what happening internally.
I have an strong pull towards group speaking, involving an crowd.
When I notice statements in my head coming up, im getting critical. Its like being aware of them and going beyond them, another direction. Right now, the thoughts of "female friends" set me in an more sexual light, like "thats not right" causing an increase in confidence. This sub is pretty addicting. Self made. No agenda/hang ups(n re-thinking this suddenly ) seems to turn me into an magnet, or atleast, letting go seems to somehow turn table and charges me sexually and attractively. Some sort of freeflowing? I sense something way more beyond all of this. Im on fire, im calm.
The sub burns right through shittests. Game is internal. Also saving for WM/SM as of now ( Already got AM 6.0, will decide what to do after running that )
Im feeling foggy, and am laughing for no reason, im getting aware in terms of how i communicate with woman and caught myself thinking "i couldve be your father". Its more of an change in piosition away from nice guy stuff but not fully yet, asc seems to attack multiple things at once. Its bit confusing my feelz. Its just, I want to no longer censor myself but I feel partly chained.
I might've have an fear of succes. Lots of asking out has Always been in my mind but never made it through just because "then what?"there is no doubt in my selfworth and value whatsoevetr, and in fact i feel an change going on. When ASC hits full force it swallows the world and my reality, sort of lighten up and all can become dreamy at times. I do wonder if I hype myself up at times to the point of derailing. Asking out and the outcome of it seems to be an confidence issue, yet then again, im high value. Its flip-flopping. I need experience I guess, how much it might be external, my mind might need evidence. Nothing worng with that. Easily directed. I have to go through with it, its basically now right at my door waiting to break through. ASC can be like an soft blanked at times. It gives definitely insight in my inhibitions and internal blocks, such as the party life. To recognize this seems to be causing an push through. Same as with eye contact, its there, just there, if I am aware or not. Like it takes the world. Same goes for bodylanguage and state, its total freedom, lightness perhaps, supercharged yet not. Not sure how to describe it but its great. Its an all falling into place kind of feeling and nothing qan bother me. Its where to magic happens, as if being taken by the sub and being told "look"being checked into place. Like the situation doesnt bother me because the sub overrules all.
Its perhaps some shifting eachother that seems to happen lately. One moment i can be all in my head while the next all becomes oppurtunity. And the oppurtunity will win out! Shifting between anxiety and apathy, and oppurtunity overflow and chainreaction. Im not really aiming for anything today other then listening to the sub and relaxing and letting the inner changes happen as effective as possible. Trusting in the sub and relaxing seem tom dissolve blocks. Tension and stress might be indentified right now. Pretty sure they are.
Edit: Im thinking about the status thinking and hold myself absolute high value even if I am not aware to it. I am adding value, high status, and this is coming from none neediness. Its truly liberating but i dont care really. At times i feel its not me writing this, but im absolutely sure it is. This is why I love this sub. Its win win. Like, owning the place and adding, not out of approval but because it simply is. I love this stuff!
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-05-2016
day 59 ( 37 days remain + whatever is needed )
Feeling pretty annoyed right now. Strong thoughts and feelings of doubt regarding the sub and perhaps resistance. Its one big mindfuck currently. I know the sub works but right now, its as if being in nothingness. No feeling or whatsoever and just plain nautral doubt. Its like an battle in my head going on, faint feelings popping up, feeling overtly monitoring resulting in being to much in my head. feeling somewhat sad aswell and slightly depressed. Slight discouragement overall
Yesterday the sub seemsd to push towards doing it for 192 days. It shows how addicting it is and how strong this sub is. It felt right to run it for 192 days. My mind was on fire, visionairy thoughts came up and my head was hot. It also gave an sense in relief and an realisation as to how much playground it gets that way and how serious its been taken. My mind combats right now.
Also confidence is an wide spectrum and area of my life.
Ultrasonic plays. Wave masked track played with sleepphones. Woke up several times with sleepphones off or slipped. Unsure amount of exposure.
Edit: Fuck I am annoyed. Yes, if this is in violation, ship it over to the men's section, i dont care. Nothing personal, just mere bluntness currently now. Some deep wound has been opened right now and now im on an annoyance stream goling on, this rawness and lack of censoring is exactly that. Im still indifferent and acceptance is key. I realise that ASC polarizes, sets me apart, causes an opposition in everyday life aswell all for the self-made puprose and deeper independence and confidence. There is no way i can decide how the sub works only that it works, how it works, as it works. Doubt is slowly fading away. Its massive. Im feeling all charged yet currently frozen on spot while its processing and working through. Its also pretty neat how the sub seems to steer me away from the internal changes and causing an development of deeper trust in the listener and oneself. Like, "Im taking it from here, dont worry". Its no denial of the inner world, its just going even deeper then it went before. Developments. In the end I can only listen to the sub and go through the changes. Press and play and thats that.
The resistance thats pops up, the doubt and such seem to be outside my scope of control for some reason. It just happens. Might sound victimized but its not. It just doesnt matter. The sub takes me whole again. Its going under to later surface again subtle and not so subtle, getting more obvious as it reveals, like rising tides and build up water.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Darkness - 02-05-2016
Keep going!
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-06-2016
day 60 ( 36 + ?? days remain )
My energy is high, I am ecstatic and reeling. I cant even begin to start saying how strong this sub is. Its integrating in my very being. Im off the charts. Im still in an fight between procrastination but so sure in myself aswell. Im utterly and completely changing. Almost crying as to what this sub is doing, all is rolling, all time high.
Its an whole different level of living, being, existing. To think what this sub can do when someone runs it 192 days is incredibly profound.
Offline journal snippit ( yet is freeflow writing, no structure basically )
i see all woman as sexual creatures now, sexual machinary
overwhelmingly approach confdence yet not neediness in an way but option
an natural sense of status and value, the internal changes towards myself are obvious
what bothered me before doenst do now, high value in my mind and being
its building itself up like coming towards climax in it getting more and more solid
changing towards curiosity and no longer entertaining that fear but to bite the bullet
whos to say you NEED AM 7.0 ( this really this! caught me by suprise as to how liberating it is )
high status and high value really are settling now in terms of woman, wow.
lots of coming up form my subconscious
might be an lack of status belief in oneself regarding woman, an limited belief so to say. conviction.
not all girls qualify, this is very striongly solidifying and give an equal sense of freedom. i see myself with high quality females
i can make it way more special this way. like next level shit. its choice, not neediness.
change in viewing it
needingh? hell no. swap lol, walking away
porn is reaqlized as non helping and even fruitless and waste of whatever
whats in my head. boundaries> gettign aware of whats playing
eye contact gets firmly and aggressive in fix, overflowing sense of confidence and plain clearness
breakthrough in nudity amnd nudeness. breakthrough sense of going,l wider interest and explanation if wanting, such as the esoteric and what not, bigger interest in now and bigger confidence supporting it. once some light is shed./breakthrough has taken place, other things surface
overjhwelming self support instead of. its self sufficient
no longer is deservedness linked to my horniness but to an inner realisation of it.
directly clear action, lack of fear and hesitation aswell as an freedom through abundance and non neediness, hang ups will be lesser? its like an settling if reality and an shift of it
an deeper independent sense of going and being absolutely certain an dominant confident, its not all dominance yes.
changing internal beliefs
Woke up very confident. my dream revolved around people busting me and another people involving some 3rd world environment in terms of living place and building, firewoks and blacklivesmatter movement. throwing off fireworks around and me all being anxious around that because we could get busted.
The sub is bursting through, breaking through. im feeling very uninhibited and off the charts. i want to escalate and see all as something to push further and further through automatically.ASc was and is right. no need to be nice and liked. less needy, big sense of importance in listening to the sub, like an bigger sense overcome. feeling pressure and completely being sure
sexually charged. i can be quite militant and tribe minded. catch myself in "do i play her games, am i needy?"asc will deal with this eventually and push me out of my head. change in lifestyle. taking care of your duaghters hahaha,.
getting aware of turn offs for a reason. internal changes are huge. big energy.
getting conscious of peoples voice qualities and liking of the kind of voice? bodylanguage nd eye contact aswell.abundance definitely clicking, its liberating
confidently wanna kiss you.
appraoch becomes duty?? more to it then that. getting high value. more rounded and conplete, ethos coming out. calm in an storm.almost lone wolf in terms of independence at times. getting aware ofm my posture./ also forced to watch ( spiders for example, its trance like ) random frustration and aggression, hostility and opposition. what all happens in the world doesnt make sense at all and causes some emotions to spike.im sexy as fuck, no guilt or fit out. strong internal shit.
strong sense fo confidence everywhere i go
cutting ties with former life, its limited beliefs, the character and self image of being grown up and what not, ones capability and what is ones "true self?"
and at times in simply dont care at all
its great that women are otherly wired
im feeling light and content, smiling
The internal changes are massive. My status mindset is solidifying, it keeps returning and repeating itself. I do still have difficulties with online chat at times, as for some reason im getting all in my head, which makes sense actually. I want to be skilled everywhere eventually, online aswell as offline flowing. In the end even being fully offline like that face to face, being in abundance and living in paradise which is pretty reachable as of now. Im off the charts. its insane as to how much im flowing and am lacking hesitation right now. Im radiating confidence. The sub is fully overwhelming me right now and all is good. Like, one thought pops up and is directly directed otherwise, overcome or anything like that. Its so so natural.