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Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - Printable Version

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Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - X3CyO - 04-26-2015

:exclamation::angel:

Here I am once again to push through the journey that is Alpha Male V5. My first run through was erratic: I broke up with my girlfriend whom I was obsessed with, ran through depression, anorexia, sleep apnea, lost a lot of my friends, and was fighting an addiction to Drugs on a psychological level.
Originally I ran through each stage for around 40 days at a time due to weird thinking patterns, and thus, a poorly tracked experience (Which I can now deduce via my previous marked up calendar). My first journal was also falling apart due to my issues, and overall, it just plain sucked anyways.
After that experience, I followed through with the emotion/pain release sub for a month, and then proceeded to use the Charisma sub for a month and a half. After a month of stagnation again, I decided to use the charisma sub for a month, then confidence, then charisma once more.
Now that Ive beaten most of these issues, I think Im ready to truly immerse myself within the program. Ive gone through most recommended red pill works, and fully indoctrinated myself for a period of time in theory, science (Nutrition/Nootropics), as well as Entrepreneurship, and meditation. Chances are if you've heard of it, Ive done it, taken it, memorized it, studied it, etc, and Im well open to questions.

Ive been the silent type, and have transitioned from follower to leader/consumer to producer, but still am lacking in things to say. Because of my upbringing, I've never been interested in people really, and have always been quite introverted. All my friends came to me, and never vice versa. As A child, I used to be very alpha, mirroring my father, but somewhere along the line, I began to gain sicknesses: psychologically manifested, or physically, I don't know. But any who. Thats enough info.

TL;DR: 18 Alone, Sick => Going back to my old, real self via subs, and starting a business.

Day 2: Im sick from overtraining: Ive been working out 7 days a week, and sleeping 7 hours a night, and its finally caught up to me. Workaholic? Yeahh Big Grin. F*ck. Anyways, Its only been one night, and Im stoked to begin again. I think everything is still installed in my brain from the last time: Now its just piecing it all together. Throughout this sub experience, my brand will be finished, ill be Spinning Plates, Lifting Weights, and Eating Steaks. :Feelsgoodman:

#Toothpickdays


RE: Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - Darkness - 04-26-2015

(04-26-2015, 05:17 PM)X3CyO Wrote: :exclamation::angel:

Here I am once again to push through the journey that is Alpha Male V5. My first run through was erratic: I broke up with my girlfriend whom I was obsessed with, ran through depression, anorexia, sleep apnea, lost a lot of my friends, and was fighting an addiction to Drugs on a psychological level.
Originally I ran through each stage for around 40 days at a time due to weird thinking patterns, and thus, a poorly tracked experience (Which I can now deduce via my previous marked up calendar). My first journal was also falling apart due to my issues, and overall, it just plain sucked anyways.
After that experience, I followed through with the emotion/pain release sub for a month, and then proceeded to use the Charisma sub for a month and a half. After a month of stagnation again, I decided to use the charisma sub for a month, then confidence, then charisma once more.
Now that Ive beaten most of these issues, I think Im ready to truly immerse myself within the program. Ive gone through most recommended red pill works, and fully indoctrinated myself for a period of time in theory, science (Nutrition/Nootropics), as well as Entrepreneurship, and meditation. Chances are if you've heard of it, Ive done it, taken it, memorized it, studied it, etc, and Im well open to questions.

Ive been the silent type, and have transitioned from follower to leader/consumer to producer, but still am lacking in things to say. Because of my upbringing, I've never been interested in people really, and have always been quite introverted. All my friends came to me, and never vice versa. As A child, I used to be very alpha, mirroring my father, but somewhere along the line, I began to gain sicknesses: psychologically manifested, or physically, I don't know. But any who. Thats enough info.

TL;DR: 18 Alone, Sick => Going back to my old, real self via subs, and starting a business.

Day 2: Im sick from overtraining: Ive been working out 7 days a week, and sleeping 7 hours a night, and its finally caught up to me. Workaholic? Yeahh Big Grin. F*ck. Anyways, Its only been one night, and Im stoked to begin again. I think everything is still installed in my brain from the last time: Now its just piecing it all together. Throughout this sub experience, my brand will be finished, ill be Spinning Plates, Lifting Weights, and Eating Steaks. :Feelsgoodman:

#Toothpickdays

I'll be keeping track


RE: Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - X3CyO - 04-27-2015

Day 3:
Woke up at 12:30AM and had a hard time going back to sleep.
Dont remember it being this bad.
Anywho. Im also learning Tapping since a lot of people are calling it effective.


RE: Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - Shannon - 04-27-2015

A lot of guys here have concluded that tapping during the AM program is not a good thing. I'll let them fill you in further.


RE: Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - X3CyO - 04-27-2015

Crap. I thought since the first stage is letting go, and establishing a base that itd be a good combo at the moment..
Well. For future refrences, I imagined the memories and as I tapped, and felt the emotion, I imagined the image becoming covered in finger prints, and when I breathed out, Id imagine that the blurred parts of the image were kind of like eraser shavings, and blew them off the paper.

Thanks for The info Shannon: Couldve skrewed myself over there.


RE: Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - eternity - 04-28-2015

this should be fun to read. I see a lot of parallels in my own story; I'm subscribing


RE: Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - X3CyO - 04-28-2015

(04-28-2015, 08:36 PM)X3CyO Wrote:
(04-28-2015, 08:33 PM)X3CyO Wrote:
(04-28-2015, 01:55 PM)eternitys_child Wrote: this should be fun to read. I see a lot of parallels in my own story; I'm subscribing

Indeed. Very similar. Ive sustained damage via multiple cases of hypotension, and from drugs as well, and fixed it via nootropics too. I find that noopept just make me irratable though, sadly..
Speaking of which. Day 4: My sickness got worse, and i slept only 2 hours last night. I experienced Joint and Bone pain as well and almost passed out when I was in my jacuzzi. (Hypotension AGAIN). For some reason, I just dont get enough salt daily. Im gonna drink it with my water in the morning again from now on.

Anyways: Wont be posting daily, just been a trainwreck is all.


RE: Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - X3CyO - 04-30-2015

Cant seem to find any info on the negative effects of tapping on AM yet.

When I use the sub, and shortly after using it, a feeling of insecurity, and inferiority sets in, which levels out to an alpha attitude later on in the day. Ive also have more of a habit of slacking off in things like school work in classes that are irrelevant to me, and a strong compulsion to read, and study things that are applicable to my dreams and future. That's good I suppose, but I literally forget to do HW for certain classes in exchange for online classes and such. Even when I know I have homework, I just cant pull myself away from these other activities. Never dealt with this before.

Also, my ability to talk to people has expanded a little, and I'm not as reserved. Nothing major yet, but there is a lot of stuff that I should tap on..


RE: Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - Shannon - 05-04-2015

The issue seems to be that tapping creates a pressure release valve for the things AM is using to motivate you to create and face challenging changes. It's about like opening a relief valve on a steam engine and then wondering why the engine doesn't move. The pressure is why it moves. The pressure motivates.


RE: Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - eternity - 05-04-2015

locomotivates... hahahahaha.. i get it.................... bad pun


anyway x3cyo, i relate. stuff that's for my long term good gets far more prioritized than things that need to be addressed immediately, even when the prioritization is flawed.

but that's been a habit for a long time, so i don't expect subs to break that habit immediately. being in stage 4 of am6, i have found it to become more balanced, but still not to the effect it could be.


RE: Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - X3CyO - 05-04-2015

Got it. Thanks Shannon. Ever since I saw Geodudes AM thread, tapping has just been a main focus. Ill drop it for the time being.


RE: Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - X3CyO - 05-04-2015

Day: 10,
Depression is moving in, and I cant wait to move past this resistance. I wish I hadnt wasted my childhood playing videogames and watching anime all the time. I feel so socially awkward now, so im working on having more to say. I feel like although im doing all these different self improvement things, spending all my free time learning from online classes, and lifting on my own, that ive turned to a hermit.

I think my first step of breaking free is getting a gym membership as soon as I start selling my product. I cant go into game yet, since im still working on my one on one conversation skills, but getting out there more will definitely help me break free, and expose me to opportunities.
Spinning 1 plate atm nontheless.
[/quote]


RE: Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - TheRealJustin - 05-04-2015

(05-04-2015, 10:21 PM)X3CyO Wrote: Day: 10,
Depression is moving in, and I cant wait to move past this resistance. I wish I hadnt wasted my childhood playing videogames and watching anime all the time. I feel so socially awkward now, so im working on having more to say. I feel like although im doing all these different self improvement things, spending all my free time learning from online classes, and lifting on my own, that ive turned to a hermit.

Video Games and Anime is not wasting your childhood. That's time well spent. Don't get too into 'game' it'll only make you awkward. All you really need to know is don't be desperate, act jealous, act sad and girly. If you're not scared of girls, and you are nice but you don't let them walk all over you and take advantage of you, then you'll be fine. A girl wants to meet you, not what you think some pua wants you to be.

Joining a gym seems smart but I've never met a friend at the gym, but at least it will get you out and around people. Maybe you should think about getting any part time job anywhere so you can be around people and actually talk to them and interact and make friends.


RE: Silent & Deadly (AM5) x2 - Shannon - 05-05-2015

Video games and anime are things that spend time while giving very little in return. What you do get is only worthwhile in the moment. Sure, doing those things once in a while is fine, and fun. But spending too much time on them is a waste of your most precious resource of all - time. You can only spend your time one way, and you can never, ever get a refund. It may not be as much fun in the moment to spend your time wisely, but spending your time on things that will pay off for the rest of your life is always a better choice than spending your time doing something that will only give you a little pleasure in the moment.

I'll give you an example. I know a guy who inherited over a million dollars when his mother died. He quit his very well paying job as a mechanic and spent it all on guns and ammunition. Why? Because each time he bought a gun, he felt a little surge of pleasure, and he felt more like his idea of what a "real man" is. But guns require care and ammunition, and that is not cheap. But it IS expendable, and he ended up blowing through 1.2 million dollars in a couple years just buying and shooting guns. Hard to believe I know... but he did. When it ran out, he had to sell all his guns to pay his bills. He ended up losing his house. Then he had...

No money.
No job.
No home.

What did he have? Fond memories of having been a millionaire and spending all his time for those two years just shooting guns.

In other words, he didn't have jack. He wrecked his life because he chose pleasure in the moment over less pleasure in the now in exchange for sustainable benefit in the long run.

Video games and anime is only time well spent if it is a reasonable amount of time.