(10-15-2014, 10:56 AM)Natious Wrote: Stage 2 Day 26: This stage is almost over and the last week has been quite good, although there has been some deep depression and strong anger, I have noticed some amazing shifts.

So I tried doing 16h for 4 days which resulted the 3rd day with a headache, but the rest went rather good. First of all I want to point out that I have been starting to face my problems/emotions when they rise. I have hidden so much in the past when a negative emotion comes up, but I feel like now it's different. I do constant checks of how am I feeling and if the response isn't positive then I will compassionately listen to myself and try to tune in to what's going on, this is a HUGE step for me. Yesterday night and this morning were quite difficult in this sense, I had to spend around an hour and a half yesterday focusing on the pain for it to somewhat dissolve and this morning about half an hour which was followed by some upbringing thoughts that got me going.

I have had a few dreams of some girls that all seem perfect, this combine with some reflection about my past has made me realize something. I feel a bit lonely and I think that might be the cause why I "fall in love" too easily with women I see for the first time and then get too attached to them. This is not good for me on any level, getting too deep too fast isn't a good, especially for a sensitive person like me. There's a lot of issues related to the opposite sex which is why I might have to postpone BASE and maybe run AM again followed by WM, depending how this run goes.

I recommend a book called "The Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod to everyone, this book is simply amazing. A few of my favorite ideas from the book "Never sleep in a negative state or wake up in a negative state, before we wake up and fall asleep our brain is in Alpha/Theta state which is highly suggestible and will affect a lot on how we feel the next day." and "You don't have to figure out your life purpose, you get to make it up and change it over time".

I also had a strong argument with my dad after he screamed at my sister while having been really drunk. Basically I told him to stop being such a baby and start making changes or one day he will just wonder what happened and question how he pushed everyone away.

This stage has still been very rough and I kind of wish I had done LTU for a long period to get myself into a more positive state before taking on the challenge of AM. The big problem is that I am constantly looking at a lot of negativity in myself and it's so hard to take any kind of action at the moment. I feel like I am pretty much standing still in the sense of "taking action and making things happen".

I have been feeling very insecure again from time to time, so it's a very unstable road for now. Hoping stage 3 will be easier (joking, I know it won't).

EDIT: There's loads of negative self talk popping up now and then, I think it's somehow embedded in my subconscious and that's one of the most challenging parts. Not even without thinking much on the negativity, sometimes sentences like "I hate myself", "I just want to die" or "What use is there for me to live the same stupid life of work, earn, family, die" appear.

(11-30-2014, 05:45 PM)Natious Wrote: I've run into a bit of an issue, I developed an ear infection so I can only use one earphone while I'm sleeping. Due to this, I am using more during the daytime when I don't need to use the earphones and can use my headphones instead. I'm curious if it's still effective with one earphone though.