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+--- Thread: Absolute Self confidence journal (/Thread-Absolute-Self-confidence-journal)
RE: Absolute Self confidence journal - mat422 - 12-12-2010
12/12/10
Feeling better. Happiness is a choice, I always have to remember that. That is the default state of mind. I find when I don't have happiness its just my resistance to it. I'm still balancing between accepting emotions vs being attached to them.
Also I'm interested in the Law of Attraction and I'm doing a little experiment right now. I'm going to attempt to manifest a quarter with a red dot in the middle. I figured quarters are too common so I'd make it a little more interesting by adding a red dot. The law of attraction is a very controversial subject, but I'm hoping with this experiment I can prove to myself that such a thing exists.
RE: Absolute Self confidence journal - boromir - 12-12-2010
I am sure, you will see it, but it may be after you have given up entirely looking for it. I like your experiment, when I first learned about it, there was no question for me that these "in your face" things were miraculously happening. Over time my energy and excitement for other things have dampened the results I once had. I guess the emotional fervor of its novelty and potential diminished in energy over time for me, and as a result nothing has really happened since. At the same time there has been no real energy put into it by me like there was, nor do I think I could recreate the fervor I had for it, which is the main ingredient.
From my experience, I become greatly excited over something new. And exciting stuff usually happens as a result quickly, then over time I reach the Law of Diminishing Returns, that clever Asymptote of nature.
RE: Absolute Self confidence journal - Andrew - 12-13-2010
(12-12-2010, 02:49 PM)mat422 Wrote: 12/12/10
Feeling better. Happiness is a choice, I always have to remember that. That is the default state of mind. I find when I don't have happiness its just my resistance to it. I'm still balancing between accepting emotions vs being attached to them.
Also I'm interested in the Law of Attraction and I'm doing a little experiment right now. I'm going to attempt to manifest a quarter with a red dot in the middle. I figured quarters are too common so I'd make it a little more interesting by adding a red dot. The law of attraction is a very controversial subject, but I'm hoping with this experiment I can prove to myself that such a thing exists.
You can also choose to look at the law of attraction differently. I look at it from a statistical viewpoint, at first it was disheartening but now it is encouraging. The law of attraction is effectively through change of self and expression of yourself increasing your chance of your desired result. The amount of red-dotted quarters in the world are probably about equal to the amount of a specific collectible sports car (rare...) Plus, how do you increase your chances of obtaining one? There is no real-life application to this. If you really want one you can just grab a marker. If you are looking for a kind of mystical law, I think you are going to be very disappointed. The truth is in the profound wisdom of common sense. If you are kind to someone, you increase the chance they are kind to you in return, but it is NEVER a guarantee. If you want to "attract" a certain food, you increase the chance of seeing or smelling cues that will over time turn the tipping point of statistical chance towards you. Most commonly that involves money-such as buying an apple at the store. But that does not mean that you won't pass by an apple tree, or be given one by a friend. The application is in increasing chance. Some say God doesn't play dice, and I agree. But we do, and are fully capable of increasing our chances higher and higher until we win at just about anything. The implications of that are huge, and that's something anyone can believe in. The law of attraction, in firm opinion, should be simply renamed to the "law of favorable chance".
RE: Absolute Self confidence journal - boromir - 12-13-2010
I agree and disagree. I think there is a synchronicity of events that unfold in this universe. Quantum physics and string theory defy classical physics and modern physics admit they have feeble explanation for a lot of phenomena. Yet, the human conscious and unconscious mind will hone in on what it wants, and will be attracted and seek that out what it wants like a heat seeking missile, so the desired result may appear miraculous whether the person is conscious they wanted the occurrence or not. I think there is a bit of both, really. The argument for random events, or predestined events has been argued for millenia, and I am saying that through my personal experience I have encountered events that really push the probability envelope. If you choose to think it was just my wish full thinking, yes, I guess it was.
RE: Absolute Self confidence journal - mat422 - 12-19-2010
Yeah I'm kind of understanding more how law of attraction really works. You can't just visualize something and get it just to prove that there exists some magical law. It won't work because there is really no other intent behind it other than proving a point. But I have in the past wanted something really badly and instead of buying it right away, I'd wait for an even better opportunity to unfold. It always seems whatever I truly want, comes to me, but the key is I have to REALLY want it.
An example was I bought a midi keyboard used on ebay for $80. However, it did not function at all and I got a refund of my money. Later on I learned that I could hook it up to my computer using a midi cable instead of usb and I got it to work. So I pretty much got the keyboard I intensely wanted for free. I don't think you can manifest everything, but when I've been open and allowed stuff to come to me, it usually does. But it sort of has to flow, I can't will it into my life magically. It's like when you live in a state without worrying and just accepting that everything will be ok, it seems stuff goes into alignment. But who knows maybe it is just coincidence, but I'll take coincidence and luck over struggling through life any day.
RE: Absolute Self confidence journal - Spiral - 12-20-2010
there is no such thing as coincidence
if there is then law of attraction is usually what people are referring to when they say that.
RE: Absolute Self confidence journal - mat422 - 12-20-2010
12/20/10
I have a confession to make. I stopped using this subliminal a week or two ago. Maybe it was longer. Why? I don't know it seemed like a good idea at the time. But it was just my mind playing tricks on me as it usually does. My pride got in the way and I thought I was doing all this brave new stuff on my own and I didn't need the subliminal. Well, here I am now upset and frustrated because I've lost all that momentum I was building.
So I'm going to start listening again and keep to it. The problem I ran into was I kept thinking I wasn't being "authentic", and I was rejecting a part of myself that I too strongly identified with. I want to give some advice that may help others that are struggling with change or are thinking of dropping a subliminal.
We are nothing but our beliefs. My belief was that if I became more confident I would hurt people, I wouldn't be as humble, and I wouldn't be approving of myself because I always wanted to change something. The truth is I don't know who I am. I've been subjected to so much anxiety and negative thinking in my life that I've come to see people as potential enemies rather than friends. I masked this belief by diving into spiritual practices and forcing myself to be accepting of others despite my inner flaws. But you can only run from your problems for so long before they get to you.
The person that looks back at you in the mirror whether smiling or frowning is merely a reflection of all you have come to internalize within that supercomputer called your brain. Beliefs are crazy and its a shame more science doesn't pay attention to stronger methods of changing these beliefs. But if there was a way to make everyone instantly happy, content with themselves, and without psychological problems there would be no profit.
My mind fought with me back and forth saying I was being fake and not accepting myself by using this subliminal. It's just the beliefs protecting themselves. They won the battle, but not the war. I see now that the subliminal will help me remove the negative aspects of myself in order to allow my positive traits to shine through. But I still have a deep rooted fear that I will lose who I am, who I have identified with for all these years, and it scares me. But it's irrational and just a defense mechanism to keep me in my comfort zone.
Well after that huge rant I just want to say something. DON'T GIVE UP ON THE SUBLIMINALS! No matter what your mind tells you, no matter what fears you have, no matter how rational and logical it may seem, it's not worth it. Change is scary, but don't let that stop you from seizing the life that you know you deserve. We all deserve great things, so don't shortchange yourself by saying "well that's just not me and its just not possible". Your beliefs truly dictate your reality, don't be afraid of the power you ultimately possess.
RE: Absolute Self confidence journal - Roy - 12-20-2010
It's wonderful you get it now.Have you started listening to the subliminal again?The important thing after making a mistake is to fix it and move on.
And than make some more mistakes and learn from them too.
What about the sedona method?It helps too.I had problems doing it consistently until I figured out things worked better when I used it than when I didn't.It helps writing all the gains you get no matter how small they are.
RE: Absolute Self confidence journal - mat422 - 12-20-2010
Yeah I'm gonna start listening to the subliminal at night again. My mind is still weaving stories about how I shouldn't use this subliminal and I can do it on my own, but its all deception.
About sedona method. I looked at it as too much of a technique in the logical sense. I think too much. My brain is overactive, my thoughts are bouncing around in my head non-stop even under my conscious perception. I'm pretty sure I have some form of OCD. I'm going to start doing sedona again. I was very judgmental of myself when I did it however because sometimes I would be very blank. I was worried that I was being too aloof and arrogant. And some days I really didn't care about other people and I felt I was detached in some way. It's hard to describe but I felt like I was being less compassionate towards others. I was very detached but it made me feel bad because I felt like I should have had more compassion for people.
But you see thats the kind of thinking that brings me stress. I feel like its wrong for me to not care what others think and to not care so much about other people. I don't want to turn into a jerk and thats what I felt like sometimes when using the sedona method. But I think it was just more OCD like thinking. I mean I think way too much. More than the average person and thats probably what leaves me disconnected. I try to logically understand everything and solve stuff with my head. But it just brings me more stress because the answer doesn't exist.
To let go seems so wrong to me because then I worry that I'll be cold and mean to people, and whats to stop me from this? I hear about starving children in other countries, murders, rape victims, and all this other suffering. It's not my burden to carry and yet I still feel an obligation to hold onto it. Letting go is so simple, but I have such a resistance to being free. I empathize with the world too much, and I can't change the situations, and sometimes I neglect my own needs.
RE: Absolute Self confidence journal - Roy - 12-21-2010
Quote:Yeah I'm gonna start listening to the subliminal at night again. My mind is still weaving stories about how I shouldn't use this subliminal and I can do it on my own, but its all deception.
You also can listen to it during the day.
Quote:About sedona method. I looked at it as too much of a technique in the logical sense. I think too much. My brain is overactive, my thoughts are bouncing around in my head non-stop even under my conscious perception. I'm pretty sure I have some form of OCD. I'm going to start doing sedona again. I was very judgmental of myself when I did it however because sometimes I would be very blank. I was worried that I was being too aloof and arrogant. And some days I really didn't care about other people and I felt I was detached in some way. It's hard to describe but I felt like I was being less compassionate towards others. I was very detached but it made me feel bad because I felt like I should have had more compassion for people.
How about letting go of the judgment of yourself?And the feeling bad about it?How exactly you were aloof and arrogant?So you should walk
around all day feeling compassion towards other to feel good about yourself?
You are not not responsible for the choices other people for themselves.
You are responsible for yours.
Quote:But you see thats the kind of thinking that brings me stress. I feel like its wrong for me to not care what others think and to not care so much about other people. I don't want to turn into a jerk and thats what I felt like sometimes when using the sedona method. But I think it was just more OCD like thinking. I mean I think way too much. More than the average person and thats probably what leaves me disconnected. I try to logically understand everything and solve stuff with my head. But it just brings me more stress because the answer doesn't exist.
I don't think you can become a jerk from releasing emotions.You have to
want stuff from them to be a jerk.You get disconnected from drama,and
don't need to create more of that.
Quote:To let go seems so wrong to me because then I worry that I'll be cold and mean to people, and whats to stop me from this? I hear about starving children in other countries, murders, rape victims, and all this other suffering. It's not my burden to carry and yet I still feel an obligation to hold onto it. Letting go is so simple, but I have such a resistance to being free. I empathize with the world too much, and I can't change the situations, and sometimes I neglect my own needs.
You won't be cold and mean to people from releasing negative emotions.
I have never seen a happy and loving person going around being cold and mean jerk.
You feeling bad about things doesn't help.If you feel like doing something than go and volunteer and help people.People go through things they need to go through in order to learn and evolve.There's suffering but we are all
free to choose what things mean to us.
You can also try to stop watching the news and read the newspaper,it will make you a lot more positive and you'll have more time to do productive things.
Honestly,all of your post is excuses.There are the things that work and things that don't work.Excuses and feeling bad for yourself don't.
RE: Absolute Self confidence journal - mat422 - 12-21-2010
12/21/10
Back on track. Keeping it going with this subliminal. I'm practicing giving myself unconditional love instead of doing sedona method. Works a lot better for me because the result of loving myself equals happiness. Overall I'm content right now. Got my winter break coming up and I'm gonna be seeing all my friends that went off to college. But overall I've been less critical of myself and instead just started being more accepting of myself. I'm trying to speak my mind more and do things that are uncomfortable for me, just to push the comfort zone.
The subliminal definitely does something to me overnight though. I woke up this morning so dehydrated. Anytime I really do a lot of inner change work I find that my body tends to use up a lot more water. Must be the result of different neuron pathways building or something. I can only assume my mind is working very hard.
RE: Absolute Self confidence journal - mat422 - 12-22-2010
12/22/10
Had trouble getting up today. Woke up at 12 because I just didn't have the energy to get out of bed. Either the subliminal drained me or its my depression kicking in again. But I'm feeling better now. I decided to try the sedona method again. I go back and forth with this stuff a lot and sometimes I don't realize the error of my ways until I have an objective look at it. I thought I was releasing, but I'm almost positive I was suppressing these emotions I had. I don't like feeling my depression or my sadness so I tend to bottle them up, I see them as a sign of weakness and I'm reluctant to allow anyone else to know about them either. I tend to stuff them back down inside of me which leads to a lot of irritability and anger. Also I tend to detach from them rather than fully accept them which I think is a huge difference.
But I'm slowly learning to love all my emotions and allow them to run through me without judging them. I don't have any emphasis on releasing them, just accepting them and allowing them to be there.
RE: Absolute Self confidence journal - Jackie - 12-24-2010
Wow Mat. I'm always amazed when I read your entries how insightful and articulate you are.
For me, the more I analyze, the more stressed out I become until I make a decision to stop knit picking everything and focus on the positive. I have avoided a lot of stress this way, and I wonder if it would help you too. Instead of focusing on what you think you should be doing, or what you didn't do well enough, focus on what you've done right. I see you being so overly judgmental of yourself when you actually sound like a really good person, that you're not really giving yourself much credit. Have you ever considered keeping a journal? Also, I don't know what your sense of humor is like, but if you are anything like the way I was, I was so wrapped up and busy in my mind that I hadn't developed much of a sense of humor. Don't forget to have fun. You don't have to be serious all the time. Do whatever makes you laugh and do it often. It helps with stress and makes you change perspective. I try to find humor where I can and think more positively. I really don't have as much self analytical chatter and anxiety that I used to because of these approaches.
RE: Absolute Self confidence journal - mat422 - 12-24-2010
Hey Jackie thanks for the support. I'm definitely prone to focus more on the negative instead of the positive. I try as much as I can to just give myself praise and remind myself I truly am a good person. It's tough sometimes and I demand more out of myself than I'm actually capable of keeping up with.
Not being serious all the time is something I'm trying to work on. When I'm at home I'm relaxed and I'm just myself. Lately I've been trying to keep that openness in the outside world and its tough because I feel very vulnerable. When my fight or flight response kicks in I feel like I have to defend myself and I tend to pull myself inward and really keep to myself. But right now thats what I'm trying to change.
I'm almost positive I have a deep rooted fear of rejection. It's not really about what they think of me, its my irrational reactions to events sometimes. It's like when a bad thing happens and I'm really embarrassed or upset it just keeps playing in my head over and over. In the past I tried to ignore it and just say to myself to let it go. But now I just forgive myself and say that its ok because I tend to really put myself down without even realizing it. But it's like that one event that happens can cause me to spiral down into a depression and thats mostly what I'm afraid of.
I realized recently too that I'm not even that comfortable around some of my friends. Over the years I've just learned to mask it very well and everyone doesn't notice. But it still bothers me because I tend to close myself off from them if I'm not feeling confident enough.
I think I will start keeping a journal. I'll try to focus on the positive things I do, no matter how small, and write them down.