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+--- Thread: Overcome Guilt (/Thread-Overcome-Guilt)
Overcome Guilt - Majordomus - 09-17-2010
I am voting for Overcome Guilt title.
Although many people would like to have us believe that guilt is necessary to keep people in check, I think that very belief comes from fear of others.
A person, who has his emotional and intellectual capabilities in check will easily discern what kind of consequences is his behavior creating without having to feel guilty.
And responsibility should belong to individual's hand.
If anything, in my own experience, guilt leads to two extremes:
a) constructing false nice personality based on the issue of guilt, in turn leading to trading one's power away and letting others step over you - in turn increasing guilt and feeling of worthlessness, creating a vicious circle.
b) paradoxically, becoming more aggressive because one feel himself unable to assert his needs and be satisfied with himself otherwise, again in turn leading to more guilt in the end.
Many aggressive people are paradoxically troubled by excessive guilt, which they are so fed up with that they decide - now I will not give a fuck, cause I wanna be free from all of this.
It is very, very common for people who have no criminal records, did no extraordinary evil, to feel incredibly guilty for no obvious reasons - guilty about their needs, their wants, their very existence. And they will not be able to tell you why, so it must be some kind of pattern adopted in one's childhood or infancy,perhaps through inappropriate parental punishments.
RE: Overcome Guilt - Jay - 09-17-2010
Personally I only see guilt as worrying about situations/events that happened in the past, while you're fantasizing about what you should've, could've or would've done to supposedly create a better outcome that you didn't foresee or were too scared/fearful to take at that time. You can also reverse it and blame what other people should've, could've or would've done better in a certain situation to you.
Every time you say "I should have done this", or "I could've done this!" you're just creating a fantasy for yourself. The event already happened, and you acted upon in the best way that you could do at that time. And fantasizing about a different or better outcome won't make any difference. It's great to think about the situation and grow from it, knowing that you won't make the same mistake again, or know that you won't let people make that mistake to you ever again. But accept that it happened and that you or other people, acted in their best behalve, and that all the fantasizing in the world will not make the past change.
But if you're playing that same situation in your mind over and over again, you're just making yourself miserable, time and time again, and nobody will gain anything from that. It's not currency you can use to better a situation, like "Oh, I burned down your house, but I'm feeling pretty guilty about it!".
Also guilt is a powerful manipulator. Be wary of your mothers!
