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+--- Forum: Men's Journals (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals)
+--- Thread: Delta's AM6 Journal (/Thread-Delta-s-AM6-Journal)
Delta's AM6 Journal - TangoDelta - 01-16-2014
Introduction:
So I've got an old post in this thread about being dumped by the girlfriend, and not doing well in school and being miserable in life. I feel like I've wasted the past 5 years of my life, 19-23, my "prime years." I regret it so much, and I'm finally making a change. Perhaps it's a good thing the girlfriend dumped me; something finally hurts bad enough to force me to change my life and become the person I want to be.
I don't like how my name sounds on here lol but I chose it for Tango meaning "target" (military talk) and Delta meaning change (calculus/mathematics).
I started AM6 January 1st 2014. I've been keeping a journal which I will post in a few weeks. Currently it's pretty pathetic and mostly talk about my ex-girlfriend (I live with her, and 3 other guys/best friend of mine, so it makes it that much harder to avoid her). And it's pretty darn long, I write everyday. It helps to get my feelings out.
I'm 23 years old, a mechanical engineering student, have failed most of my classes for the past 4 years, and if I take summer classes and pass ALL classes, I have 2.5 years left. I work at my school, my job is awesome and it's probably the second best job on campus. I love it. Grew up in an average middle class white neighborhood. Parents don't have a lot of money to help me out, so I do have a lot of loans. But, I have been kickin' ass in the stock market since I was in 7th grade, so that will definitely cover my loans when I graduate. I haven't had much success with women, but somehow the girls I have been with are actually really hot. Not sure how I get them. But still, I haven't been happy with myself, am definitely a beta, and have definitely been an insecure little puss. It's time to change that.
RE: Delta's AM6 Journal - AlphaScorpio - 01-16-2014
Wish you all the best mate. will keep an eye on your journal
RE: Delta's AM6 Journal - TangoDelta - 01-16-2014
My Ideal Self:
I've pictured the man I want to be for years; since high school. Working out and having big/strong muscles is one trait. I've never stuck with it and just stop a month or two in. I've always had a special talent for money, therefore I pictured myself to be wealthy. And since I'm tall (6'3" or 6'4"), I picture a well groomed confident man with nothing to worry about and nothing I couldn't handle. Needless to say, currently I'm not even close to that. Here are my goals and the things I would like to get out of this program and develop within myself.
I attend all my classes
I do all my homework
I study and do well on exams/quizzes
I workout
I practice guitar
I enjoy friends and people's company
I appreciate, love, and show that I love my significant other
I am a gentleman
I am confident
I am secure
I am a hard worker and ALWAYS do my best
I am an alpha male
I am motivated
I am successful
I do not care about the past
I am happy
I am fulfilled
I have my good sense of humor
I am charismatic
I am sexy
I am the best sex partner any woman will ever have
I am attractive to women
I am fun to be around
I am intelligent
I eat healthy/properly and take care of myself
I put in the work to get what I want
RE: Delta's AM6 Journal - TangoDelta - 01-16-2014
My Top Priorities In Order Of Importance:
School - attend ALL classes/homework/study
AM6
Workout/Diet
Friends/Socializing
Guitar
Learn CAD software (Solidworks, Inventor, Pro/E)
Computer networking/programming
Reading
Learning things a man should know <---hunting, fishing, cars, construction projects...
Other Things
Keeping everything clean <---Myself obviously lol, bedroom, kitchen, living room, bathroom
Stocks
Work <---sort of built-in with school so that's why it's down here
RE: Delta's AM6 Journal - TangoDelta - 01-16-2014
Questions:
How do you balance being a gentleman and an alpha male? An alpha male isn't supposed to act like he cares, but a gentleman is supposed to show his affections.
Update: After reading Double Your Dating, he suggests doing those gentlemanly things once you are in a committed relationship. I can't remember if there is anything about that in How To Become An Alpha Male. But I guess that answers my question. And I have to say that I agree with it. She must be worth the effort, time, and money. (And being in college, I'm uber tight on money lol)
How humorous can an alpha be? I definitely feel like I'm losing my goofy, fun loving, hilarious self. Or maybe it's just because I'm still depressed over the break-up. I don't know.
Alright, I make it a point to read the AM6 page in the shop at least twice a week. One thing I'm concerned about is how it releases the need to get the girl. That's fine and dandy, but does it allow you to still feel love for someone? Do alphas still get butterflies in their stomach when they see or talk to "that" woman? Do they WANT to love a woman? I know relationship preferences are different for everyone. Currently (maybe AM6 will change it) I believe in monogamy, especially if you like the person and are committed to them. Do alphas not commit? I also believe that if I have sex with a girl, if I'm not making a drunk mistake lol, she should be relationship material.
Maybe I'm a little messed up, definitely selfish. If I'm having sexual relations with a girl, I don't want her having sex with anyone else; but…I can lol. That's not fair and that's not right; makes me a hypocrite. When I'm with a girl, it disgusts me just to think about the other guys she's had sex with. It's like I'm afraid of koodies. I'd definitely like that to change. Perhaps I'm just in a funk or growing up, but since I don't quite have happiness coming from within, how can someone be happy without someone to love? I know it sounds needy and stupid, but that's how I feel. If I was super rich, but didn't have anyone to love and share the money and my life with, it would all be meaningless…I think. I don't know if society or family or whatever conditioned me to think like that, but that's how it is. Or does AM6 just totally put you on a whole new level where all of this becomes irrelevant and I truly am happy no matter what happens?
RE: Delta's AM6 Journal - InTheZone - 01-16-2014
(01-16-2014, 08:39 AM)TangoDelta Wrote: Questions:It has been a month since I read this but I believe he was talking about mixing both aspects together to build attraction not necessarily reserving being a gentleman for committed relationships only. I think of the example of taking a woman to dinner for a first date. You should pull out the chair when she is sitting down (gentlemen) and then when she orders a salad you would say "Oh no, you're not one of those salad girls, are you?" Its a basic form of push-pull.
How do you balance being a gentleman and an alpha male? An alpha male isn't supposed to act like he cares, but a gentleman is supposed to show his affections.
Update: After reading Double Your Dating, he suggests doing those gentlemanly things once you are in a committed relationship. I can't remember if there is anything about that in How To Become An Alpha Male. But I guess that answers my question. And I have to say that I agree with it. She must be worth the effort, time, and money. (And being in college, I'm uber tight on money lol)
(01-16-2014, 08:39 AM)TangoDelta Wrote: How humorous can an alpha be? I definitely feel like I'm losing my goofy, fun loving, hilarious self. Or maybe it's just because I'm still depressed over the break-up. I don't know.I think alphas are humorous and fun to be around. The people that can laugh at themselves show real confidence.
(01-16-2014, 08:39 AM)TangoDelta Wrote: Alright, I make it a point to read the AM6 page in the shop at least twice a week. One thing I'm concerned about is how it releases the need to get the girl. That's fine and dandy, but does it allow you to still feel love for someone? Do alphas still get butterflies in their stomach when they see or talk to "that" woman? Do they WANT to love a woman? I know relationship preferences are different for everyone. Currently (maybe AM6 will change it) I believe in monogamy, especially if you like the person and are committed to them. Do alphas not commit? I also believe that if I have sex with a girl, if I'm not making a drunk mistake lol, she should be relationship material.I've only been through AM once so I'm not a shining example of an alpha, but, the real difference is between needing a woman and being happy by yourself. I don't feel like I need a woman to have a great time or life. Would it be nice to have an awesome women? Certainly! Do I need to stop my life to find one? Absolutely not. The really cool thing is that when you stop feeling like you need a woman, then you can start seeing all the other things that are important to you.
Maybe I'm a little messed up, definitely selfish. If I'm having sexual relations with a girl, I don't want her having sex with anyone else; but…I can lol. That's not fair and that's not right; makes me a hypocrite. When I'm with a girl, it disgusts me just to think about the other guys she's had sex with. It's like I'm afraid of koodies. I'd definitely like that to change. Perhaps I'm just in a funk or growing up, but since I don't quite have happiness coming from within, how can someone be happy without someone to love? I know it sounds needy and stupid, but that's how I feel. If I was super rich, but didn't have anyone to love and share the money and my life with, it would all be meaningless…I think. I don't know if society or family or whatever conditioned me to think like that, but that's how it is. Or does AM6 just totally put you on a whole new level where all of this becomes irrelevant and I truly am happy no matter what happens?
Welcome to to forum. Looking forward to see your journey. I think you're really going to like Alpha Male. It is an awesome program..
RE: Delta's AM6 Journal - Shannon - 01-16-2014
Tango, AM training is about YOU. Not her. Not pussy. Not love. Not butterflies. Not being a gentleman. YOU. We are growing YOU. We are focusing on YOU. We are turning YOU into what you can be as a man. None of the rest of it matters right now.
AM focuses you internally. Not externally on sex/love/whatever. You fail with women because you focus on them (seeking externally), and don't grow yourself (seeking internally). Women want a man who has become (or is becoming) what his potential is (leader/strong). Not a man who chases sex/love instead (follower/weak). So AM focuses you on growing internally. Not getting the girl. And really, she doesn't matter anyway. During this process, she is a distraction. She will be a pleasant side effect of success when you finish running AM6 enough times. But an alpha isn't concerned with women, because he can fulfill himself without them, and he can live and enjoy life without a woman. (Even if he might enjoy life more with a good one... but finding a good one isn't so simple.)
So... stop worrying about sex, or love, or butterflies. Focus on yourself and improving yourself while you're using AM. Stop needing her approval, make her need yours. When you finish AM and it's taken effect the way it's supposed to, that will be your reality.
RE: Delta's AM6 Journal - TangoDelta - 01-18-2014
That sounds great Shannon. I really do need to take time to focus on and develop myself. I've been much more productive lately and have much less negative self-talk, so that's good.
I've also been doing A LOT of reading on these forums, and you honestly are a frickin' cool person. You always know what to do, like Yoda lol. You're a good role model. So thank you for all your words of wisdom and subliminals.
And, is it ok to listen to AM6 while taking a nap with HyperSleep or Sleep Magic?
RE: Delta's AM6 Journal - jonathan4all - 01-18-2014
(01-16-2014, 05:20 PM)Shannon Wrote: Tango, AM training is about YOU. Not her. Not pussy. Not love. Not butterflies. Not being a gentleman. YOU. We are growing YOU. We are focusing on YOU. We are turning YOU into what you can be as a man. None of the rest of it matters right now.
AM focuses you internally. Not externally on sex/love/whatever. You fail with women because you focus on them (seeking externally), and don't grow yourself (seeking internally). Women want a man who has become (or is becoming) what his potential is (leader/strong). Not a man who chases sex/love instead (follower/weak). So AM focuses you on growing internally. Not getting the girl. And really, she doesn't matter anyway. During this process, she is a distraction. She will be a pleasant side effect of success when you finish running AM6 enough times. But an alpha isn't concerned with women, because he can fulfill himself without them, and he can live and enjoy life without a woman. (Even if he might enjoy life more with a good one... but finding a good one isn't so simple.)
So... stop worrying about sex, or love, or butterflies. Focus on yourself and improving yourself while you're using AM. Stop needing her approval, make her need yours. When you finish AM and it's taken effect the way it's supposed to, that will be your reality.
This is dope statement.
RE: Delta's AM6 Journal - Shannon - 01-18-2014
(01-18-2014, 03:39 PM)TangoDelta Wrote: And, is it ok to listen to AM6 while taking a nap with HyperSleep or Sleep Magic?
If you use BWE and subliminals at the same time, you encounter a conflict unless they're built into one track, and I don't do that.
Point 1. Playing the BWE technology I use requires headphones.
Point 2. Adding any sort of sound other than pink noise is going to potentially degrade the effectiveness of the BWE, because it will give your mind something to focus on (change) instead of bore it into ignoring and then trigger faster FFR (Frequency Following Response). Trickling Stream is better than Ocean Surf in this regard, but not as good as plain pink noise.
Point 3. Ultrasonics are not wise to use with headphones for reasons of volume, and especially not when mixing with other sounds through the same output, as you now have no real way of knowing if and how the volume of the ultrasonic has been affected shy of real time volumetric monitoring...
So probably your best compromise is to use the trickling stream track with the BWE and see how that goes, and if that doesn't work, try the ultrasonic, but calibrate volume carefully and then drop it a notch.
Better yet, use a playlist that has the subliminal starting after the bwe ends.
I have a subliminal non-brainwave entrainment sleep aid in testing right now that seems to work well so far (three tests), although not as quickly or aggressively as I might like. But it's put me down when I wouldn't have been able to sleep otherwise at least twice in those three experiments.
Just thought you might find that little tidbit interesting.
RE: Delta's AM6 Journal - TangoDelta - 01-19-2014
Roger that. I figured other sounds would mess it up. And yes I've got the sleep shuttle with AM6 playing 8 times after it. I did order a speaker to play the ultrasonics while I sleep. My right ear is really getting raw from having these headphones in. (Gonna get new ones eventually).
And on that subject, since it's just a sound dock (stereo) that will be sitting on my dresser, will it be effective enough/worth it playing throughout the night? I'm still going to try to get as much headphone listening in during the day as I can. But once school starts, my time will be much more limited.
Update on my journal:
7 of us friends went out last night. I felt much more relaxed and comfortable just standing/sitting there. I very briefly talked to one girl, and the bartender. The other bartender who is our best friend later told me the other one was married -_- Oh well, I just wanted to practice talking. Definitely didn't talk as much to new people as I wanted to. Doesn't bother me much though. Then when we got home, my ex-girlfriend (we'll call her S) came home from the bars too. She was drunk and wanted to spend a few minutes with me. She said if I was good at sex, she wouldn't have broken up with me (there's other things too but whatever). I know I'm not that great at it because I've been an insecure little puss. I'm hoping becoming alpha will help with that. But I didn't really wanna be around her because I don't wanna put up with her shit. The ONLY possible good thing coming from this is that I'm not even ready to have sex with another girl right now, so I really don't have an agenda when I meet girls at a bar, which should make it that much easier lol. And, because she really is a 10/10, I'm not even very attracted to other girls I see...even on the internet and models and all that. So, once again, that should make it easier to talk to other girls lol. It would be an interesting test to meet up with her in a year or so after (if) I run Sex Magnet so see if she feels any different then.
I've also been really sticking with working out. I used to just dread thinking about it all day, now I just simply do it. Even now that I'm slightly sick, I don't make excuses. I hope it's permanently a part of who I am now. Same with guitar. I really enjoy playing it and am working on learning my first full song, instead of just the recognized licks of 40 different songs that everyone knows. I'm ok being alone right now. I look at it as time to improve myself and get my life back on track. Once school starts in two days, that will be the real test. I hope it's like working out...I just do it. Seriously, my favorite line from the product page on the store is:
Doing what needs to be done, because it needs to be done, and that is the way of the Alpha.
That's sort of how my dad is, just doing whatever needs to be done no matter the sacrifice, effort, or time commitment.
RE: Delta's AM6 Journal - TangoDelta - 01-20-2014
Alright, feeling much better today. I've actually gotten stuff accomplished. Now I'm just waiting for my roommate to get home so we can workout. I'm actually looking forward to it today because we are starting our second cycle of the program. Could the surprise in AM6 have to do with working out?
And I think I'm finally getting over my ex-girlfriend. I see her around the house, and I really just don't care anymore. Of course it still sucks sometimes doing things alone, but I'm really looking forward to the next chapter of my life and trying to forget about the past and everything I've messed up, because I know I can't change that. I can only change the future.
I've decided to not put up my whole journal from when I started AM6 because it's pretty long and no one cares and it's not worth reading. I'm only going to post the most important parts.
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Tuesday Decmeber 31st 2013
I'm also reading the How to Become an Alpha Male book that's recommended in the instructions. I copied this out of the book…it definitely describes me with Steph.
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"(And by the way, if a woman comes onto you who's in a relationship, mark my words... if she doesn't have sex with you, then she'll find some other guy to hook up with and satisfy her carnal desires. Her current boyfriend is unsatisfying to her or else she wouldn't be flirting with other guys.)"
*****************
I would barely initiate sex with her. We never had it, it was terrible.
Another great (large) quote from the book.
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Nice guys also have issues with jealousy, born out of their insecurity. They are too outwardly-dependent; all their happiness comes from the woman. They don’t want her talking to other guys for fear she’ll run off and he’ll lose his source of happiness.
You see, the problem with the feelings of jealousy that so many beta males have about their women is that it comes from a position of neediness. So whenever you feel that way with a girl, suck it up and let those feeling go.
When a girl detects a guy is jealous, it's as if he's saying to her, "Hey, I feel inferior to those other dudes you're talking to."
And having that lack of confidence in yourself makes the chick not feel so confident in you, either. She begins to wonder whether the grass is greener in other pastures.
I know it's tough to not feel jealous, but look at it this way: if you knew that you were the shit and that you can attract hot babes and get laid easily, would you care that your girl is going off and talking with some other guys? Of course not, because that would be her loss (and you could just get laid from some other chick)!
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Exactly how I feel/felt.
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Saturday January 4 2014
I made Steph breakfast this morning. I enjoy doing it, I just wish I was cooking for my girlfriend. If I had been like this for the past two years, things would be very different, and better. Blake Shelton's song Maybe She Wouldn't Be Gone perfectly describes our relationship. I never realized or knew what that song meant until she left me.
The big story of the day is that I finally did what I've been wanting to do for years. I called, in order, my dad (he was the hardest to do this for), my mom but had to leave a message (I've already told this to her though so it's not so bad), my grandma, my sister, and my brother. I told them all that I love them. I haven't told them, except my mom, that I love them in years, and I do see them multiple times per year. I cried so hard and for so long after I talked to my dad. It feels good to have finally done that.
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Tuesday January 7 2014
Had my first dream in weeks that I can actually remember. I was trapped in a building, somehow escaped, and was on the run from people (children actually) trying to catch me to take me back. I was running through and hiding in the woods of my elementary school. Eventually when I ran far enough I found out it was a Blink-182 music video. WTF!? What's My Age Again? Maybe it's me trying to grow up?
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Sunday January 12 2014
Went out with the friends last night. Approached and talked to two black girls. Never thought I would ever have done something like that. No phone number or anything; I'm not even looking for that. I'm just proud of myself for at least walking over there and talking to them. Maybe because I'm still heartbroken and don't even wanna bring a girl home, it makes talking to them easier lol. I also didn't get anything done on my to-do list this weekend, but I got other stuff done. Oh well.
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Monday January 13 2014
I don't dream, or just can't remember them, when I sleep with the headphones in. I wake up at like 5am and take them off. So when I did that, I had my first sex dream in a very very long time. It was awesome. It was sort of like a James Bond thing. Felt like crap today too (maybe didn't get enough sleep) but still worked out. Wish I had this drive and motivation the past 4 years of my life. What a waste. From here on out, this is how I want and should be like.
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Wednesday January 15 2014
Steph told me one of the big reasons she broke up with me is because I'm bad at sex. I know she's right, I'm surely hoping AM6 will help with that. But holy god does that hurt and cut me deep, especially because she told me her new guy made her squirt. I always wanted to be able to do that. This is really making me depressed.
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Thursday January 16 2014
I bought a speaker, Sound Kick SFQ-04, to play the ultrasonic track during the night. I slept with the headphones in again, Ocean, and can remember no dreams.
Also finished reading Double Your Dating. Not too bad, I liked How To Become An Alpha Male More. I'm definitely all about natural/or inner game. I don't wanna have to be in-character or think about what I'm saying/doing. I just want to be naturally attractive to women. That's why DYD sort of turned me off; I just don't quite see myself doing all that yet. I need to internalize it…but I'd rather internalize being an alpha male first.
RE: Delta's AM6 Journal - aDelfino - 01-21-2014
Hi
I'm always confused about the speaker...
With Sound Kick SFQ-04 are good to listen ultrasonic during the night ?
I mean there are not distinction channel from left and right. Is not better have distinction from left to right channel to have maximum effect ?
RE: Delta's AM6 Journal - TangoDelta - 01-21-2014
(01-21-2014, 04:04 AM)aDelfino Wrote: Hi
I'm always confused about the speaker...
With Sound Kick SFQ-04 are good to listen ultrasonic during the night ?
I mean there are not distinction channel from left and right. Is not better have distinction from left to right channel to have maximum effect ?
I'm having second thoughts about the speaker. I fully agree with what you are saying and now I'm wondering if it's even worth it. I currently listen with headphones at least 8 hours per day. Depending on how much the earbuds annoy me, most or all of that comes from listening while sleeping. Would this speaker, playing all night long, then maybe only 4 hours of headphones throughout the day be better, worse, or no difference?