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+--- Thread: Path to Greatness - Journal (/Thread-Path-to-Greatness-Journal)
RE: Path to Greatness - Journal - Shannon - 11-15-2012
Javier, tonight I felt the urge to go have a steak, so I went to Ruby Tuesdays and ordered a ribeye. The bar tendress had a short spikey hairstyle you usually only see on sporty women and lesbians, so I wasn't sure she was straight until she started flirting with me about the steak. Then the women next to me on my right started showing IOIs and stalking to me. The guy to my left began talking to me until he left... there were eight seats in a row free to my left, but the two women who showed up next sat down right next to me. The more attractive of the two (to me) also happened to be single. By the end of the night, they had become friends of mine, and I had both their phone numbers. They invited me to go to the movies with them. The bartendress got visibly jealous. Had the movie not been sold out, I'd have gone, even though the specific movie was of no real interest to me. Then they asked me to walk them out to their car.
They asked me what I was drinking. "Iced tea," I replied.
"Long island iced tea?" she asked, with a mischievous grin. I laughed.
"No, just iced tea. I don't drink alcohol."
"Why not?"
"Because I have just as much fun without it. There's no point."
And away we went. Nobody came down on me for being there alone. I had three women showing interest. I had a bartender getting pangs of envy that I was talking to the woman next to me. I made some new friends. And I have the door open for more than friends if I want that, and do the right things.
The point is... it's all in your head. I don't care what anyone thinks, so I am confident that they will appreciate me, and because I lead them in what to think with my attitude, they think what I lead them to. They enjoy talking to me, I enjoy talking to them, we have fun, no expectations, and everyone wins.
Relax, man. It's just talking.
RE: Path to Greatness - Journal - Elusive - 11-16-2012
(11-15-2012, 11:49 PM)Shannon Wrote: Javier, tonight I felt the urge to go have a steak, so I went to Ruby Tuesdays and ordered a ribeye. The bar tendress had a short spikey hairstyle you usually only see on sporty women and lesbians, so I wasn't sure she was straight until she started flirting with me about the steak. Then the women next to me on my right started showing IOIs and stalking to me. The guy to my left began talking to me until he left... there were eight seats in a row free to my left, but the two women who showed up next sat down right next to me. The more attractive of the two (to me) also happened to be single. By the end of the night, they had become friends of mine, and I had both their phone numbers. They invited me to go to the movies with them. The bartendress got visibly jealous. Had the movie not been sold out, I'd have gone, even though the specific movie was of no real interest to me. Then they asked me to walk them out to their car.
They asked me what I was drinking. "Iced tea," I replied.
"Long island iced tea?" she asked, with a mischievous grin. I laughed.
"No, just iced tea. I don't drink alcohol."
"Why not?"
"Because I have just as much fun without it. There's no point."
And away we went. Nobody came down on me for being there alone. I had three women showing interest. I had a bartender getting pangs of envy that I was talking to the woman next to me. I made some new friends. And I have the door open for more than friends if I want that, and do the right things.
The point is... it's all in your head. I don't care what anyone thinks, so I am confident that they will appreciate me, and because I lead them in what to think with my attitude, they think what I lead them to. They enjoy talking to me, I enjoy talking to them, we have fun, no expectations, and everyone wins.
Relax, man. It's just talking.
That is very inspiring, Shannon.
RE: Path to Greatness - Journal - Javier Gerardo - 11-18-2012
(11-15-2012, 08:40 AM)Sean Wrote: Javier,
I think you should take on a challenge. Something like a 100-approach challenge or get 10 rejections in the next 30 days. Fear tells us where to lean: if you're afraid of being rejected, you need to start going out there to get rejected as many times as it takes until you learn that it's not nearly as bad as you thought.
Courage is doing something even though it causes you fear.
Roughly three years ago I was introduced with the PUA world. As such, during that time I made up my mind to approach women. I did manage to approach but with barely enough results. This has more to do with my inconsistency and because I didn't push the conversation with women more. I remember during those days I also memorized some lines and all that. It did made me comfortable but I have to rely on routines and such. I've been rejected or mostly ejected on many sets back on those days. But with very little inner game, these made a big impact on me. It's as if I end up having more fear of rejection.
After about some time, around 2 1/2 years ago I got into Cory Skyy's Magnetic Mindset. Magnetic Mindset and doing Affirmations have helped me a lot. Made a new friends, got my first job etc. with it. But over time I believe that it made me not anymore approach women at all. Cory Skyy didn't recommend approaching women but there are still instances wherein you could approach. This was the time when I feel I misinterpreted or misunderstood Cory Skyy because I just always do my affirmations daily but rarely went out. Kind of like wanting to be the guy with high inner game and without doing any shit at all to get the ladies. I don't want to approach back then because I wanted them to approach me. I am the one with a higher value. But deep inside what's stopping me from approaching is that I have a big fear of rejection. I realized just this recent past that the best way to get around this is to take ACTION.
Now with a better and higher self-esteem, self confidence and self-image I'm going to give this approach thing a shot.
(11-15-2012, 11:49 PM)Shannon Wrote: Javier, tonight I felt the urge to go have a steak, so I went to Ruby Tuesdays and ordered a ribeye. The bar tendress had a short spikey hairstyle you usually only see on sporty women and lesbians, so I wasn't sure she was straight until she started flirting with me about the steak. Then the women next to me on my right started showing IOIs and stalking to me. The guy to my left began talking to me until he left... there were eight seats in a row free to my left, but the two women who showed up next sat down right next to me. The more attractive of the two (to me) also happened to be single. By the end of the night, they had become friends of mine, and I had both their phone numbers. They invited me to go to the movies with them. The bartendress got visibly jealous. Had the movie not been sold out, I'd have gone, even though the specific movie was of no real interest to me. Then they asked me to walk them out to their car.
They asked me what I was drinking. "Iced tea," I replied.
"Long island iced tea?" she asked, with a mischievous grin. I laughed.
"No, just iced tea. I don't drink alcohol."
"Why not?"
"Because I have just as much fun without it. There's no point."
And away we went. Nobody came down on me for being there alone. I had three women showing interest. I had a bartender getting pangs of envy that I was talking to the woman next to me. I made some new friends. And I have the door open for more than friends if I want that, and do the right things.
The point is... it's all in your head. I don't care what anyone thinks, so I am confident that they will appreciate me, and because I lead them in what to think with my attitude, they think what I lead them to. They enjoy talking to me, I enjoy talking to them, we have fun, no expectations, and everyone wins.
Relax, man. It's just talking.
You make it so easy Shannon. and yes very inspiring indeed.
As such I just recently went out and going to report back what happened.
RE: Path to Greatness - Journal - Javier Gerardo - 11-18-2012
So this is it. 2 1/2 months with ASC 5th Generation sub.
Last Friday night I asked a friend of mine if he's going out tonight. He said yes so we decided to go to one of the high end clubs in this city.
I'm comfortable with dancing even alone so for most the night I tried hard to enjoy the music and dance. But with that my head is still thinking of a lot of stuff like looking for chicks, what I can do to approach them, working on my eye game etc. Now if I ever go out one night and think of just enjoying and having fun I'd be really grateful.
My bro isn't really the type of guy who approaches women too. Then I felt it, approach anxiety is hitting me up again as I saw prospects upon prospects of women who show up near me. The night ended and I haven't managed to approach a single lady. I've talked with around 2 guys whom I didn't know. I hope that didn't make me gay though lolz.
It's a real shame that I didn't try what I am supposed to do. The thing is, that night not only am I experiencing approach anxiety, I also am afraid of getting embarrassed in front of my friend. The feeling of regret is all upon me when I got home. Shit sucks bros.
On a positive note, yesterday I help my sister in her business. My task was to kind of approach customers who pass by her store and even take their orders. For the record, this isn't the first time I've done this, during my college years I opened up my own business with some friends and I managed to approach people to try our product. I even did some sales work back then and to think about it I can't believe I was able to sell quite good and managed to talked so easily to people I don't know.
My sister and her business partner couldn't thanked me enough for what I have done because on that day they managed to get a good amount of sale. They even commented on how funny I am in front of some customers. I even flirted with a couple of females. I was amazed at how I can do it like that.
Today looking back I can see that I can become sociable, friendly and even approach people at random if I want to. However, it is probably because my main goal is to have them buy instead of me wanting or liking them. I remember I wrote back here that I grew up in a traditional family with my parents rarely showing affection to each other and feelings and talk about love and relationship are rare. I feel now that I myself am not comfortable with having a relationship or getting women. Or I feel that I still have this backward thinking that society kind of condone men approaching and going for women. But isn't so when you're a salesman and approach a potential customer.
I will work on this at the same time I am working on being affected on how others view me.
RE: Path to Greatness - Journal - Javier Gerardo - 12-02-2012
Okay I'm 3 months in with Absolute Self Confidence 5th Generation.
It's like me head and whole self is tormenting me every day. Even upon waking up heavy resistance is upon me. Feelings of neediness towards women and my inability to get a girl ever since I was born always came striking at me at moments unnoticed.
From time to time, I decided to view inspirational and motivational pictures and videos just to get my mood up. It has always been like this every time I start making progress. When I do, I slack off and rarely go out because I feel I have enough time to socialize and improve myself which isn't the case.
I did have some significant improvements. First off, this is for you Sean (lol), I finally were able to do approaches towards women. My two latest approaches at the bar whom I went was totally awful. I was shot down instantly. I felt it. But looking back, it isn't as bad as I think it is. And it is at the club so I don't feel much affected.
Last week however, I tried my best to talk to a girl who brought at my sister's store. Needless to say, I kind of flirted with her but only subtle and even laugh at my jokes. I also talked with her two friends just so they don't feel awkward. As always, I'm surprised how easily I was able to do it. She's only 20 and I'm kind of minding the age gap (25 here). In the end, I got her facebook account. The only problem was when I searched her facebook account using the email she gave me, I couldn't find it. Her email as it turns out was unsearchable and the only thing I did was send her a facebook invite. One of my friends told me to send her an email but I still haven't done it. I felt sad and stupid for getting her email instead of her number. It was a good learning experience after all. But for me to sum up another courage to approach a girl on daytime means a lot again.
I do want to be good at this and enjoy socializing with people especially with the opposite sex. But as I said, the biggest thing pulling me down is that I give in to my negative temptations like instead of going out I will just stay at home and masturbate to porn. I've had it with this lifestyle and want to change this habit for years. But I keep on failing on going back to this shitty routine.
RE: Path to Greatness - Journal - Sean - 12-02-2012
Remember that everything is a learning experience. It is neither good nor bad, except where you decide that it is good or bad. Think of it in terms of what works and what does not work.
RE: Path to Greatness - Journal - Shannon - 12-02-2012
Fear. Kill it.
RE: Path to Greatness - Journal - Sean - 12-03-2012
(12-02-2012, 11:43 PM)Shannon Wrote: Fear. Kill it.
...Like the b!tch it is.
RE: Path to Greatness - Journal - Javier Gerardo - 12-10-2012
(12-02-2012, 11:43 PM)Shannon Wrote: Fear. Kill it.
Yeah I should be killing fear instead of me being killed by it.
Not much has happened this past week. But I've made realizations that I still am shy on some social situations. Like for instance, when a salesgirl approaches me to give info about her product I tend to shy away from her.
I made it a point months ago that I should always do things which are uncomfortable. Put myself in things I am not used to. Still I see on some ways where I am failing to do that. It's a good thing to notice that though.
Christmas is drawing near and the shopping places are full of people I would be glad to meet. But instead of going out and try approaching some, I procrastinate again by saying to myself "That it's okay I'm going to change next year... I'll just relax this year"
On some days I can hold myself strong and not masturbate to porn but after a few days I feel obliged to "reward" myself and tell myself that it's okay to fap and I'll probably change next year. I really need to be more self-disciplined and remove this big fear of success that I have.
RE: Path to Greatness - Journal - Shannon - 12-10-2012
which program are you using Javier?
RE: Path to Greatness - Journal - Javier Gerardo - 12-20-2012
(12-10-2012, 11:07 AM)Shannon Wrote: which program are you using Javier?
I'm currently using Absolute Self Confidence 5th Generation. I'm moving on to AM 5.0 after this. I should have started with AM 5.0 if I already had the funds for it months ago. But I'm looking positively that I'll be getting AM 5.0 for this Christmas if all goes well with my current finances.
Update as well. I believe I should pick up the pace when updating this. I might be missing some changes or fail to record some things that are vital.
I went out last week Friday night again with a buddy of mine. The thing is I can already feel that I am enjoying going out and socializing. We went to an up class bar and not the usually club that we go to. While there, I danced and feel the music. As I was dancing I saw two girls constantly eyeing me out while dancing. As a person who's into eye game and Cory Skyy, I kind of followed his advice and let my eyes do the work. I gazed at them and feel kind of like a connection or something. Frankly, I still don't get Cory Skyy's eye game because my mindset is still I believe not that solid. But anyway, I keep glancing back at them and they were doing the same. Until finally I feel that they keep on dancing near me and even continually bumping their asses towards me. On that time, my "nice guy" self came back and what a shame. I asked myself "What do?, What do?" but just said fuck it and smiled at them. I talked to the cuter one (which is the girl I like) and they introduce themselves to me. I tried to keep on with the convo by making them laugh. It was sort of chaos after that since the cute girl that I like want me to dance with her, then with her friend, then her other friend and so on. She's with her family as she said like cousins, sisters but I told her bullshit because they don't look alike. This has been the trend until they decided that I should just dance with a friend of her. This is the girl who is her partner in the beginning and who also keeps on giving me looks when I still haven't talked to them. I felt awkward after that because this girl was not really my type and when I tried to grab her waist to dance, she removed my arm because I think she's not used to it and I should have escalated. This girl is a bit shy which is making me kind of awkward yet again. But I do feel she likes me, she just isn't comfortable with all her friends teasing her for liking me. During this process I introduced my buddy to these guys and my buddy is also dancing with them. After about some dance moments together, the "cute girl" that I like from the beginning is already dancing with another guy. This guy as it seems, is her boyfriend. I'm oblivious to this fact because this was the girl who is kind of flirting and dancing with me minutes earlier. And she's doing this in front of her boyfriend? Now I never had a girlfriend before and correct me if I'm wrong, I wouldn't let my girlfriend dance with random dudes at a club especially in front of me without any permission. After that, I transferred to another location inside the bar. I was hoping to get at least the number of the cute girl but as her bf is there I decided against it.
Moving on, a part of me said that I should have pushed more with this group of girls and guys. I mean really a girl at a club wanted to danced with me which means I'm a likeable guy. I should have said "Fuck Yeah!" I'm getting better at this stuff, improving my social skills, being more confident with myself, seeing if a girl likes me or not and getting results. But instead when I got home I felt sad towards myself up for not getting at least the number of the girl who liked me, and I didn't like. Like I can at least made a bunch of new friends. Looking back, I did made a big improvement from my before self who is just there at the corner of the bar and can't talk to women. But I didn't appreciate myself for improving.
From this time on I'm being aware of the constant, negative stuff going on in my head. I would want them to just stop but they keep on going. There are even times when my head would ache due to such tennis match where something would pop up on my head like "You will never make it. You will never have a gf." then I will say back "No I'm not. I can do this. I am a great guy. Being single is okay and I'm totally comfortable with it. If I'm okay with it then girls will be attracted to me." Not those give me headaches.
RE: Path to Greatness - Journal - Spiritman - 12-20-2012
(12-20-2012, 07:12 AM)Javier Gerardo Wrote:(12-10-2012, 11:07 AM)Shannon Wrote: which program are you using Javier?
I'm currently using Absolute Self Confidence 5th Generation. I'm moving on to AM 5.0 after this. I should have started with AM 5.0 if I already had the funds for it months ago. But I'm looking positively that I'll be getting AM 5.0 for this Christmas if all goes well with my current finances.
Update as well. I believe I should pick up the pace when updating this. I might be missing some changes or fail to record some things that are vital.
I went out last week Friday night again with a buddy of mine. The thing is I can already feel that I am enjoying going out and socializing. We went to an up class bar and not the usually club that we go to. While there, I danced and feel the music. As I was dancing I saw two girls constantly eyeing me out while dancing. As a person who's into eye game and Cory Skyy, I kind of followed his advice and let my eyes do the work. I gazed at them and feel kind of like a connection or something. Frankly, I still don't get Cory Skyy's eye game because my mindset is still I believe not that solid. But anyway, I keep glancing back at them and they were doing the same. Until finally I feel that they keep on dancing near me and even continually bumping their asses towards me. On that time, my "nice guy" self came back and what a shame. I asked myself "What do?, What do?" but just said **** it and smiled at them. I talked to the cuter one (which is the girl I like) and they introduce themselves to me. I tried to keep on with the convo by making them laugh. It was sort of chaos after that since the cute girl that I like want me to dance with her, then with her friend, then her other friend and so on. She's with her family as she said like cousins, sisters but I told her ***** because they don't look alike. This has been the trend until they decided that I should just dance with a friend of her. This is the girl who is her partner in the beginning and who also keeps on giving me looks when I still haven't talked to them. I felt awkward after that because this girl was not really my type and when I tried to grab her waist to dance, she removed my arm because I think she's not used to it and I should have escalated. This girl is a bit shy which is making me kind of awkward yet again. But I do feel she likes me, she just isn't comfortable with all her friends teasing her for liking me. During this process I introduced my buddy to these guys and my buddy is also dancing with them. After about some dance moments together, the "cute girl" that I like from the beginning is already dancing with another guy. This guy as it seems, is her boyfriend. I'm oblivious to this fact because this was the girl who is kind of flirting and dancing with me minutes earlier. And she's doing this in front of her boyfriend? Now I never had a girlfriend before and correct me if I'm wrong, I wouldn't let my girlfriend dance with random dudes at a club especially in front of me without any permission. After that, I transferred to another location inside the bar. I was hoping to get at least the number of the cute girl but as her bf is there I decided against it.
Moving on, a part of me said that I should have pushed more with this group of girls and guys. I mean really a girl at a club wanted to danced with me which means I'm a likeable guy. I should have said "**** Yeah!" I'm getting better at this stuff, improving my social skills, being more confident with myself, seeing if a girl likes me or not and getting results. But instead when I got home I felt sad towards myself up for not getting at least the number of the girl who liked me, and I didn't like. Like I can at least made a bunch of new friends. Looking back, I did made a big improvement from my before self who is just there at the corner of the bar and can't talk to women. But I didn't appreciate myself for improving.
From this time on I'm being aware of the constant, negative stuff going on in my head. I would want them to just stop but they keep on going. There are even times when my head would ache due to such tennis match where something would pop up on my head like "You will never make it. You will never have a gf." then I will say back "No I'm not. I can do this. I am a great guy. Being single is okay and I'm totally comfortable with it. If I'm okay with it then girls will be attracted to me." Not those give me headaches.
Javier, to me it sounds like you're making progress. The main thing is as long as you learn from your mistakes, then you will be alright. The beauty of this is that, you realized where you messed up and now you know how to correct it next time.
RE: Path to Greatness - Journal - Shannon - 12-21-2012
And then eventually you'll look back some day and realize it's all become quite natural to you, and you're teaching someone else how to avoid the mistakes you once struggled with.
Definitely need AM for this though.
RE: Path to Greatness - Journal - Javier Gerardo - 12-22-2012
(12-20-2012, 02:24 PM)spiritman Wrote: Javier, to me it sounds like you're making progress. The main thing is as long as you learn from your mistakes, then you will be alright. The beauty of this is that, you realized where you messed up and now you know how to correct it next time.
Thanks man. Yes as long as I'm learning from them. To tell you the truth though, this isn't exactly the first time that a random girl invited me to dance with them at the club. I've kind of messed up my experiences before as well but I think I still kind of improved my interaction this time.
(12-21-2012, 09:15 PM)Shannon Wrote: And then eventually you'll look back some day and realize it's all become quite natural to you, and you're teaching someone else how to avoid the mistakes you once struggled with.
Thanks as well. Sometimes I'm even imagining already have success and teaching this to someone. But I don't want to focus on that too much and focus on enjoying doing the process it takes first in order to reach my goals. I'm not taking any shortcuts anymore man. I want things and I believe I will do things far outside my comfort zone in order to get them.