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+--- Thread: Magnus' journal (/Thread-Magnus-journal)
RE: jimbobdays journal - Magnus - 02-11-2012
Thanks Roy,
Ill stick with just the Alpha set. Good to know i'm on the right path as well.
I also just found my work from therapy around October last year and I'm almost in shock at how far I have actually come. I almost don't understand some of the stuff I was going on about back then.
Whether this is as I moved away from the emotional turmoil from my last relationship or whether I have become a lot more emotionally healthy i'm not to sure. But I am starting to err on the side of having become a lot more emotionally healthy.
I almost have a different view on the relationship now. Its like I should have really just gone off and done my own thing instead of worrying about it. Also should have left it a lot sooner as the signs were so clear she just wasn't interested anymore but my fear held me back and I kept on trying to fix it instead of just doing my own thing.
Its also funny now that I think back I had for quite a while an obsession with becoming an alpha male now it doesn't really phase me whether I am or not.
Its been some reflection but has boosted motivation to keep my path. Just have to stop emotional/boredom eating now as I have not lost any weight in 1 month. I've got another 10% body fat till I reach my target of 14%
I can also say I now feel like I have pretty much completed my first goal as well. Which was big thing for me. I can now say the emotional intensity behind it now is just a dull murmur at time and at most times isn't there at all.
RE: jimbobdays journal - Magnus - 02-15-2012
Well I am now almost at the end of stage 2 now (3 Days left).
I must say things have really changed. Over the last couple of weeks things have really become stable. I am now at the point where I can concentrate at work and am relatively at peace with where I am right now.
I am under the belief that stage 2 is part of the normalization process. So i'm hoping stage 3 is where the building begins.
Just looking back at where I was 2 months ago. I literally could not concentrate at work, It got so bad I was put on performance review. I would go into a tail spin of emotions whenever I heard from my ex that would last for days. Now when I hear from her i'm emotional for around 15 minutes before I just let it go.
In the last week I have had comments from people about how much I've changed and how I've lost weight and how much stronger I seem. I don't know if this is due to alpha male or due to the circumstances at the time but I feel its a bit of both. I can now say I'm content being single and not having women for now and its the first time I can ever say that since I was 14.
Now where i'm hoping to head. I would like to become more social and start to build up more of a sense of humor. I would also like to continue improving my body and getting into shape as well as cut down further on the neediness so I can truly come from a place of wanting to be with a women instead of feeling like I need to (This is something I have never had in my life).
So a recap of stage 2
* For me I feel like this has normalized and stabalised me emotionally. I'm not completely there yet but most of the way
* I also feel it has made me less social but at the same time care less about being social and coming more from a place of wanting than needing
* I feel like I have more easily been able to let things go
* A little more in the moment
* Feeling more content even though I am very negative at the moment (Sounds contradictory but I believe contentment and negativity to be separate)
* More able to feel that i'm OK
* More able to just accept where I am
Really looking forward to starting stage 3 in a few days
RE: jimbobdays journal - Shannon - 02-15-2012
You can't know how good it feels every time I see someone benefiting from not only the work I have done to build this program, but my own personal challenges and pain that pushed me to create it in the first place.
Pleased as pie. I look forward to seeing you continue to benefit from it.
RE: jimbobdays journal - Magnus - 02-15-2012
Thanks Shannon.
The amount I've grown emotionally has been huge. I know I will require a few runs through to get everything sorted but I'm more than happy with the results so far. there's also been so many little changes that haven't been mentioned here i.e. I'm not even that concerned about 'being' alpha anymore
One question I did have and this may sound like its totally contradicting my previous statement but as I see it for me stage 1 and 2 felt a lot like garbage removal with a little bit of groundwork and I've read others saying stage 3 is where it gets kicked up a notch. Without going into to much detail is stage 3 where the building really begins?
RE: jimbobdays journal - Shannon - 02-15-2012
(02-15-2012, 04:48 PM)jimbobday Wrote: Thanks Shannon.
The amount I've grown emotionally has been huge. I know I will require a few runs through to get everything sorted but I'm more than happy with the results so far. there's also been so many little changes that haven't been mentioned here i.e. I'm not even that concerned about 'being' alpha anymore
One question I did have and this may sound like its totally contradicting my previous statement but as I see it for me stage 1 and 2 felt a lot like garbage removal with a little bit of groundwork and I've read others saying stage 3 is where it gets kicked up a notch. Without going into to much detail is stage 3 where the building really begins?
Stage 1 is primary garbage removal and secondary groundwork prep.
Stage 2 is primary groundwork prep and secondary garbage removal.
Stage 3 is a 105 mm howitzer to the face at point blank range.
RE: jimbobdays journal - Magnus - 02-15-2012
Awesome thanks shannon. Exactly what I was after lookibg forward to it
RE: jimbobdays journal - Magnus - 02-17-2012
So I find myself in a bit of a predicament. I think I've out grown some of my friends.
I was out at a bar tonight and the mate I was out with was very quiet and kept complaining wanting to leave for this reason or the next. I was actually having a pretty good time, Chatting away to people I sort of knew and some I didn't so got a bit angry at him always wanting to leave. I had a little to drink but a lot less than usual as I had to stay under the limit for driving.
The funny thing is that I was actually feeling less social since being on stage 2.
The major predicament comes with the fact that I really have no friends left in my country apart from the ones I was out with tonight. I'm going to has it a guess this is part of alpha and I will start to make new friends along the way.
So another goal I am now going to put in place is to expand my social circle. I want to hang out with people that are as social as I am and who have similar aspirations.
Some other things that came up that surprisingly meant next to nothing to me were that I met one of the "Cool" guys from high school at the bar and he was paying me a lot of respect. Something else that kind of annoyed me was this bartender (a girl) wouldn't serve me because I "Pushed in" she then went on to serve someone else and came straight back to me while there were others waiting. I just told her I thought she was quite rude in a joking way. There was a lot of other things that happened but at this point I really couldn't care to much. The non neediness is quite a blessing at times
RE: jimbobdays journal - Magnus - 02-17-2012
This is more of a note to myself. Two weeks ago I had a breakdown I went home and started crying and told my parents I couldnt handle it all anymore.
Little did I know this was actually the turning point for me. It was what pushed me to let go of a few things and take action to start to get my life on track.
Reflecting back on this I believe this was the day I let go of a very deeply held core belief
RE: jimbobdays journal - Ryan - 02-17-2012
When it usually gets bad like that it means something good is coming along. Just let it be
Ryan
RE: jimbobdays journal - Magnus - 02-17-2012
Thanks Ryan
Something good already has come :-) im now more at peace in life than I have been in years and im achieving more while letting more go. It would take me a full page to explain the internal changes
RE: jimbobdays journal - Ryan - 02-17-2012
Here is something I learned. Think of your negative experiences as a transformation to something better. As a positive experience for you, because it will be.
RE: jimbobdays journal - Magnus - 02-17-2012
Couldn't agree more. I wanted to make a note of that episode so next time I go through a rough patch I can look back on it and know that it is actually progress instead of going backwards.
On a side note don't feel like socializing much at the moment but feel so content with that as well and when I do actually socialize it feels pretty natural anyway.
Also been noticing better looking women pay a little more attention to me these days where as not so good looking women ignore me completely unless they know me already. For example today this gorgeous bank teller was asking me lots of random questions and we were joking around she was giggling away and all the other signs of attraction dilated pupils, flicking hair etc. It just didn't phase me either instead of getting excited I was acting (Not really the right word as I wasn't trying to act) like I didn't care where as the hair dresser today (Not very good looking) was not talking to me at all. Many more examples of that.
RE: jimbobdays journal - Shannon - 02-18-2012
Women go after men they see as being of their own level of value more often than not. It will be rare that a woman goes after someone of higher value, and extremely rare for her to go after someone of lower value. When you see the attractive ones responding, they are telling you that they perceive you as being of their own caliber, and the less attractive ones see you as being beyond their caliber.
RE: jimbobdays journal - Magnus - 02-18-2012
Completely agree with you there shannon and I had more evidence of that last night. Not in the fact that not so good looking girls were not paying attention but I had a girl blatently say you seem to good to be here. In all honesty it did make me feel a little uncomfortable her saying that