Subliminal Talk

Full Version: Overblown Hyperbole - DMSI V3.1-A
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Day 5.

Dreams that seem odd with women, or some that have nothing to do with women, which is strange given the program.

Thinking of women I know or have known, thinking I don't have a chance with them, feels impossible to get them, as they don't seem interested despite all the subs I've ran. Which makes me feel bad. Getting ignored or not taken seriously still, which irritates me as I don't know what it's going to take to make them pay attention and make them take me seriously. Being typically considered the "great guy (friend)" and/or "(boring) nice guy" that makes me angry as I take them as big insults, which they are. Starting to believe even more that some guys are attractive somehow, most simply aren't somehow and are picked over regardless of what they bring to the table. That is, until the girl's SMV crashes through the basement, either through age, weight, or having some bad boy's kids then being a single mother and needing financial help for the kids, then you're "good enough". I'm welcome to the idea of the program proving all that wrong, even though I've watched it play out in reality over and over.

The very familiar feeling of futility abound still. Women my age either have kids which I don't want to be involved with, or are no longer attractive (which wouldn't be fair to me as I've spent a lot of time improving my physique so I'd expect at least the same effort in return), and I haven't had any success with even younger women who I am actually attracted to and feel they aren't attracted to me either, so I'm not sure what to do anymore. A feeling still of "it's just too late in life now for me to get success with this even if it does end up somehow working someday" due to this is around. Young women have a huge age gap with me, don't want me, have massive options and chase bad boys anyway, and women my age are not attractive or have kids and are looking for a stable daddy to raise somebody else's kids as a wallet, so there's a feeling of "what's the point if I can't attract young women?" Depression about the situation and the realisation that this program doesn't seem to be working for me, that it's a rigged system unless I can figure out how to be a "bad boy" that they magically swoon for, for some reason. Which I doubt I can pull off as I don't even understand how that works.

Knowing that I've made zero progress since coming here years ago, and am now a 35 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend, or had sex, or a date or even a kiss. Getting fed up with endless "clearing/healing" copouts and no real results in reality. Thinking that they can't possibly be worth any of this, and am wondering why I'm fighting so hard for something I've never had, that treats me like shit, never gives me a chance, devalues me, ignores and invalidates me at every turn, feels impossible to get, and am still having a ton of anger and resentment of their massive power over me through my libido. It feels like a sick game of them attracting me, just to rebuff and ignore and invalidate me. Develops anger and resentment over time, that's for sure, and makes it feel impossible for me to get them and makes me wonder why they do this, or how I can sever my interest in them somehow to rid myself of the constant feeling of not being good enough no matter what I've done in my life which is WAY WAY beyond maintaining a low body fat and knowing how to wear a push up bra and yoga pants...it's outrageous I'm the one in the much lower position, feeling THEY are impossible to get. It's infuriating how backwards it all is. It's rigged, and I'm tired of it and wish there was a way to rid myself of this fruitless, painful, rigged pursuit that I'm not even sure I want anymore, once and for all. I thought this program was it, but I haven't seen any forward momentum to encourage me since starting V2.2, so I still obviously have serious doubts about it. I have to be honest, I don't see how this thing can somehow transform us into the hot guys women lust for, we still are us at the end of the day, largely guys who have been underwhelming for women which is why they're using this to begin with, so I have never really understood how it's supposed to work in reality.

And still not being convinced this is actually doing anything real at all for me or will. I await some true, REAL signal in real life from a REAL girl that it can do something for me. That can help me see finally that it's legit. I'm still not a believer in it, I guess, due to not seeing it do anything for me, in reality. I sometimes wonder if I'm listening to the same program as others, with some of the things I read both from a "good" sense and a "huh?!" sense... I have found myself in the past comparing to good reports and feeling bad about myself, so I try not to read other's journals now but that gets difficult to resist at times.

However, my energy has returned, no more massive exhaustion. I told Shannon that as long as he gave me back my energy so I can perform my business duties again with vigor, that I would consider that as something I'd be happy with from this program at this point. That's forgetting about all the women/sex theorised benefits, which seem a lifetime away and I seem to really have largely checked out of ever seeing that, probably due to the feeling of zero forward momentum or seeing anything encouraging me in reality. But, I'm a man of my word, so here are those words about the exhaustion. Thank you deeply for fixing that, so I get my energy back for this version, at least. I feel more myself due to the energy returning, I'm grateful for that.
You seem to be back to trying to ignore and deny all the progress you have made. Which of course does not surprise me... But it will be interesting seeing what happens over the course of 30 and 60 days of this program.
I know you will dislike this, I think you should get an escort. very beautiful ones and fuck them while you get women. If you have to use pills to prevent ED bc you will be nervous the first time do so.

Man to man, I don't like how tormented and jilted you've come feel, it's worrisome.
You NEED to develop some type of sexual experience your subconscious can not deny, in order for it to get you fucking and comfortable w/ the reality of REAL sex.

I know a lot you guys on this forum are against, I don't giva shit.
Any and all excuses NOT to are vapid when have no girl that wants to fuck YOU and you console your lack of girls in your life with: porn or fleshlight instead of the REAL thing.

This forum is non judge mental of you or your pain, and it shouldn't be of how you go about methodically fixing it. I wouldn't, I get that your pining your v-card redaction on this sub, at 35 I feel I would have wasted so much time.

Catman, you got money and you have control of your time, go get comfortable sexual with women.
I'm with Darkness. I can't sympathize with a man who could get HOT sex workers to satisfy him and doesn't do it.

I mean, for all we know, women pick up on his inability to go for what's clearly in reach and assume he'll do the same with them.
Hello Shannon. I haven't had any dates, or sex, or girlfriends or kisses since coming here...and seriously don't see how I'm in a better standing with women since joining years ago...so I suppose I fail to see all this "progress" I've made. But I expected such a response. And yes, I guess we'll have to wait and see if anything develops, just like before. I do at times grow tired of always waiting and seeing, and nothing developing.

And Darkness and Sarge, I have no interest in escorts. That could've been an option a very long time ago, even high end ones, porn stars, even B or C level actresses. I see no value in that, paying for sex, I view it as degrading to me. Not my thing. I simply want normal relationships and the ability to get normal sex, like normal men. Being forced to pay for sexual access literally, would make me feel terrible about myself. If others enjoy escorts, rock on. I don't have interest, personally.

I agree with how I've become in posts at times, I don't like it either. At times, it feels like the chicken and the egg, I suppose that is what lead you to suggest the escort idea. And in fact, the 3 women that I told I was a virgin, none believed it. I still talk to one often, and I'm positive she still doesn't believe it and felt it was a line or something. So I don't think I'm throwing off some signal related to that, it must be something different causing issues.
I'm with Catman on the not wanting to bang escorts thing. I banged an escort once and felt terrible afterwards. I felt sleazy and shitty.

It felt amazing WHILE doing it though.

I almost banged another escort last summer but I don't feel right about it. I think banging escorts is the easy way out and for some people it would make them be addicted to a very addictive thing.

I had a buddy who would spend all his money from work to bang escorts. He did say he got better at sex and lasting longer.

Every personality type is different so don't get me wrong. I'm not judging you guys. In fact I'd probably bang an escort if I went to Amsterdam and struck out all night.

It's a fun experience but it's basically the same thing as doing drugs. It's not real sex, or intimicy. The women your banging doesn't even want you inside of her it's all fake and very shallow imo.

I prefer a real connection and intimacy. Something I've never really had on that level. I've only had one night stands (I banged 7 women) I had opportunity's to bang them again but because I didn't like them I didn't try to bang them again.

One of them agreed to be my friends with benefit but I never called her back.

I'm looking for a real relationship or a very honest and open friends with benefit situation. But preferably a real relationship.

but again, to each there own. If you want to bang escorts and you feel okay with it, then do it. Just don't bang drug addicted ones because then it's very abusive.
Just get a hooker CatMan. I'm going to whenever I get some excess cash. AND I'm going to even AFTER I get success with DMSI. I think I told you before, if I had your money, I'd be making my own porn films to fulfill all my sexual fantasies. Life's too short man.

I remember watching a poker game on TV that was hosted in vegas and I saw a pornstar in the audience with some random guy. Obviously she was his escort and I thought "wow, she escorts?!"
I must admit I have a fantasy of banging some of my favorite porn stars. Lisa ann <3 lmao I probably will when I'm rich if she's still hot.
(03-06-2017, 10:56 PM)Rayhon Wrote: [ -> ]I must admit I have a fantasy of banging some of my favorite porn stars. Lisa ann <3 lmao I probably will when I'm rich if she's still hot.

Yeah man, totally. Does she escort? I know a lot of them use porn as publicity for that.
I know many guys who lost their virginity to hookers. They all said it made them feel like s*** and they didn't improve with girls either. Some of them are still addicted to paying for sex. Others had to force themselves to quit hookers and learn how to get sex on their own.

It's best to have your first experience earned gloriously.
You guys are just completely not getting why he hasn't used a hooker, and never will. Trust me on this one, because I get why he has not and will not:

He will never in a million years hire a hooker for sex. Take it as you will, but let it go already.

Of course if I am speaking for you, CatMan, and I am wrong, please accept my apologies - but I'm pretty sure I'm not wrong.
Whatever, it's his life. But having the power to end your sexual dryspell and not using it is... well...
(03-06-2017, 11:01 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]
(03-06-2017, 10:56 PM)Rayhon Wrote: [ -> ]I must admit I have a fantasy of banging some of my favorite porn stars. Lisa ann <3 lmao I probably will when I'm rich if she's still hot.

Yeah man, totally. Does she escort? I know a lot of them use porn as publicity for that.

I think most porn stars escort as well. But costs like 10 grand or more.
(03-06-2017, 11:19 PM)Rayhon Wrote: [ -> ]
(03-06-2017, 11:01 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]
(03-06-2017, 10:56 PM)Rayhon Wrote: [ -> ]I must admit I have a fantasy of banging some of my favorite porn stars. Lisa ann <3 lmao I probably will when I'm rich if she's still hot.

Yeah man, totally. Does she escort? I know a lot of them use porn as publicity for that.

I think most porn stars escort as well. But costs like 10 grand or more.

Exactly. You gotta be a millionaire Wink

Ok, I'd better leave before CatMan throws me out...
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