I was to talking on the phone to this girl ( she's at least 10yrs older than me I'm 25)
And she said to me that everytime I become quiet she's says that it's scary.
Today this girl at work says to me after I went outside the restaurant to tell a guy to stop peering the window, that she's scared of me.
Another tells me I'm intimidating . I don't act tough, I'm not even close to that.
Before subs, during my party phase , told that sometimes there's something about that scary (17. @ the time)
Why is this being said? I'm skinny I wear glasses, I lean to being intellectual. I don't get it's annoying.
Since when this has been happening? What sub are u listening to right now?
Well, you've got darkness for a name. That's scary, bro.
Other than that, unfamiliarity + high value = intimidation.
I've had the same kind of thing for a long time, WAY before subs, and never understood why. Funny how *I'm* "scary", but I've had fears around them for a very long time, lol. Ironic.
Well, to both you and Catman, we can't really help you unless you take a video of yourself talking and post it.
As mentioned, we would need to actually be around you to see what's what, but there are a few things you can do.
Right off, know that the difference between being "creepy" and "mysterious" is a very fine line. If a girl likes a creepy dude he's mysterious, but if she dislikes a mysterious dude he's creepy accept that you'll just sometimes be creepy, but work to overcome it.
Scary has to do with power. If you're very deliberate, or firm, or blunt that is in your face masculinity and powerful. powerful mannerisms are firm and stiff bodied, really intense gaze, a fast and strong hand shake, etc. The power is obvious.
Keep that strength, but soften the edges. Think smooth edged titanium, or a marble sculpture. Very strong, but pleasing to the eyes and not rough it abrasive.
When looking at someone, make your piercing stare lazier. let your eyes droop a bit as if you're a bit sleepy. Like a mob boss, or a fighter who just plain outskills his opponent and is bored. Deep resevoir of power when needed, but not in use currently.
Relax in all postures and positions. Even when things are hectic be relaxed. When your boss is crawling up your ass and he's so far up there it feels like he's about to discover a lost civilization, be chill and smooth and tell him you get to name the discovery.
I don't really like to admit it, but I'm a scary guy also. But it's not bad after you accept it and work with it. If I Focus on someone and get intense people get nervous fast. But those people that see that power come out will also compare to to your almost lazy and smooth exterior when you're not about to wreck someone. That's when you go from being scary to being powerful, as people know when you have to unleash hell it comes quickly.
After getting used to it it's a vibe you carry with you all of the time and even strangers fall in line with it usually.
(02-08-2017, 08:36 AM)Nox Wrote: [ -> ]As mentioned, we would need to actually be around you to see what's what, but there are a few things you can do.
Right off, know that the difference between being "creepy" and "mysterious" is a very fine line. If a girl likes a creepy dude he's mysterious, but if she dislikes a mysterious dude he's creepy accept that you'll just sometimes be creepy, but work to overcome it.
Scary has to do with power. If you're very deliberate, or firm, or blunt that is in your face masculinity and powerful. powerful mannerisms are firm and stiff bodied, really intense gaze, a fast and strong hand shake, etc. The power is obvious.
Keep that strength, but soften the edges. Think smooth edged titanium, or a marble sculpture. Very strong, but pleasing to the eyes and not rough it abrasive.
When looking at someone, make your piercing stare lazier. let your eyes droop a bit as if you're a bit sleepy. Like a mob boss, or a fighter who just plain outskills his opponent and is bored. Deep resevoir of power when needed, but not in use currently.
Relax in all postures and positions. Even when things are hectic be relaxed. When your boss is crawling up your ass and he's so far up there it feels like he's about to discover a lost civilization, be chill and smooth and tell him you get to name the discovery.
I don't really like to admit it, but I'm a scary guy also. But it's not bad after you accept it and work with it. If I Focus on someone and get intense people get nervous fast. But those people that see that power come out will also compare to to your almost lazy and smooth exterior when you're not about to wreck someone. That's when you go from being scary to being powerful, as people know when you have to unleash hell it comes quickly.
After getting used to it it's a vibe you carry with you all of the time and even strangers fall in line with it usually.
Generally in my experience I find the guys that girls call "scary" are not too strong and masculine, rather they have awkward, nervous mannerisms things like holding eye contact too much or not enough, blinking too much or not enough, high levels of face and body tension, poor posture etc. I don't know if I've communicated what I mean effectively, but think some of the guys you'd see on beauty and the geek. I'm generalising and I'm not saying that's the case for OP, I'd need to see him to know, but the fact that he's described himself as skinny, wearing glasses and being intellectual I feel some of the above may apply here.
Taking improv and acting classes would be a good way to loosen and correct some of those things. In fact I'd recommend it to any guy who's had troubles with women throughout their lives I'm not sure why I haven't recommended it to Catman or Sarge. Aside from subliminals, acting and performing has been the thing that improved my relationships with women the most, and I'm not just talking about the status, even with girls who don't know I do that. I've never met an actor/performer that didn't do reasonably well with women unless they're butt ugly. It enhances charisma.
So yeah I guess I agree with you that relaxation and removing tension is key.
Zane @ at around 16,
Before then, I was actually doing ok, I had girl bestfriends and girls that would touch sexually a lot which I liked. I would be able to snipe girls as well if I was hornyvenough.
The girl that said I was scary at 17 also said if she'd marry me I'd be a jerk while smiling .
Rob @ I can send you a picture at least to judge, I don't appear that masculine, I'm not feminine
On the intimidating part, this girl has known me for 6 yrs.
(02-08-2017, 11:09 AM)Darkness Wrote: [ -> ]Zane @ at around 16,
Before then, I was actually doing ok, I had girl bestfriends and girls that would touch sexually a lot which I liked. I would be able to snipe girls as well if I was hornyvenough.
The girl that said I was scary at 17 also said if she'd marry me I'd be a jerk while smiling .
Rob @ I can send you a picture at least to judge
Seriously I really don't know what to say... They are always a mystery.
They say they want nice guys but go for jerks.. and if u become jerk then they will say that u don't spend enough time if them.. And if u are spending time with them... Then u become boring and a nice guy again and in the end friend zoned or cheated.... These arnt girls but aliens from another plant doing experiments on us male population...
I remember someone saying that... Have Morals of an angel but personality of a devil... So no one will find out what u really are..
Maybe they say cause u are more fearless kind of guy.. or maybe u r way too mature..and they are just u know have a barbie doll type of maturity level
Have the morality of an angel and the personality of a devil.
^ I really like that, it's so fucking accurate.
Usually when a woman describes a skinny glasses wearing guy as "scary", it means he is giving signals that are mixed. He's telling her with his signals and actions and body language that he is wanting sex, but is trying to hide it. He is afraid of something about expressing his genuine desires or intentions and the underlying desire is then percieves as making him potentially dangerous.
Shannon The two recent times this has happened I was asserting myself and the other I wasn't trying to fuck, nor did I see her in that way.
I'm not saying my explanation is the only possible reason. I'm just putting it out there as one possibility. I don't have enough information to do more than suggest an option for what might be happening.
(02-08-2017, 09:54 PM)Darkness Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon The two recent times this has happened I was asserting myself and the other I wasn't trying to ****, nor did I see her in that way.
Some t the desire are hidden so deep that even we may not know that and we get use to it.. But others arnt and so they can see it...