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Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
03-19-2016, 11:46 PM (This post was last modified: 03-19-2016 11:46 PM by Athena.)
Post: #21
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
A little update:

I've heard of these subs affecting your dreams but this is the first time it's happened for me: (This one is a bit cheesy but very nice!)

I had this snippet of dream early this morning before waking up that I was on facebook and I was changing my relationship status to "is in a relationship."
!!!
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dweller94
03-20-2016, 08:43 AM
Post: #22
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
(03-13-2016 10:23 PM)Athena Wrote:  Awesome replies!

Shannon, it's more like when I've met a guy I DO like, I AM super attracted to that I've pushed him away. Not all the time but sometimes. I think it's me not believing I'M attractive enough etc. so I've gotten nervous and said really STUPID things. Not always but I can think of several times I've done it. The most recent example was a year and a few months ago (on a one year break now) with this gorgeous, smart, witty guy (though I've since found out he's a jerk anyway but STILL!)
we were on a first date and it was I THINK it was going well. We'd spent 3 hours together and were laughing and chatting away. If nothing else he liked me platonically and possibly more,
in fact he sort of hinted at a 2nd date.
THEN I said something stupid as we talked
that gave him the (wrong) impression that I wasn't even interested or attracted to him AT ALL.

And his WHOLE demeanor changed. He stopped laughing and smiling. He called me on the comment. And not long after he even yawned. Well, you get the point.

Anyway it's with the ones I DO like that I have this foot-in-mouth problem.

Hopefully the sub can help and I'll just be way more careful to think before I speak.

It's me saying things that can be misinterpreted in a way that either suggests I'm not into him or that I'm ONLY interested in a casual thing, I've had both fall out of my mouth. It's kinda like a self-sabotage thing. And it's only happened a few times. But always with guys I WAS attracted and interested in. Maybe it's a defense mechanism and the other thing is it happens in the beginning not that long after meeting them. Sometimes it's things I've said and other times it's things I DID. But that later on I said well of COURSE that was not going to give me the desired results! But like I said it's been more like a self-sabotage thing than anything. As if this part of me is saying no, you don't deserve him. Or, you don't deserve a more serious relationship with him. So I'm going to screw things up for you. Hard to explain it.

But maybe realizing that it's a pattern, rather than seeing it as isolated incidences is a start.

And yeah, I DID give other guys a chance the last time I dated, not just my type.

@Athena
I just read this and I used to have this same problem until I discovered this.
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage...-languages

Real life example: This girl I was interested in drove a truck... she called it her car. I would ask her (just to get a conversation started) Did you wash your truck on your day off? Had I known to use her words and asked, "Did you wash your car on your day off?" (sigh) things might have been different

INTP-A
Poll: http://goo.gl/JwTd1W

When you imagine something vividly... your subconscious will bring it into reality.
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Athena
03-20-2016, 08:47 AM
Post: #23
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
(03-19-2016 11:46 PM)Athena Wrote:  A little update:

I've heard of these subs affecting your dreams but this is the first time it's happened for me: (This one is a bit cheesy but very nice!)

I had this snippet of dream early this morning before waking up that I was on facebook and I was changing my relationship status to "is in a relationship."
!!!

Cheesy?? NOT!! Nice, you betcha! Hopefully, it is a premonition. Smile

INTP-A
Poll: http://goo.gl/JwTd1W

When you imagine something vividly... your subconscious will bring it into reality.
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04-08-2016, 05:11 AM (This post was last modified: 04-08-2016 05:13 AM by Athena.)
Post: #24
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
Bit of an update. It's two days short of the 4 month mark, by the way.

OK so in the chatroom I sometimes go to I noticed changes, like guys not just wanting sex but wanting to date me and saying things about like, that I'm smart and about my sense of humor and or my personality. I got asked out a few times, even to a ball by this guy and there was another one wanting to be my boyfriend. Unfortunately I don't fancy any of those guys. But still, I HAVE noticed the changes in their interactions with me, rather than predominantly sexual or platonic.

I broke my one year man-break 18 days early and I went back to online dating. I think the sub is part of what's happened on there. What I'm about to say I'm NOT saying to brag but to show I think the sub MIGHT be doing something....

When I first was on that dating thing from memory it took me ONE WEEK to get my first match. Now, after using it for a while and doing subs on attracting men, I got up to an 80% match rate I think BUT it took time!

Well, last night I was on for 3 hours and I got 11 matches, ELEVEN, people!

Unfortunately I'm real fussy and one of the guys has already asked to hook up - he was polite about it though which was nice - and another one I don't think I'm that into him. But I think it is a bit of a numbers game and technically I DID say to myself I wouldn't end the man-break till the 24th so it's OK that so far there's no fires burning.

There's two guys from a chatroom I've been chatting with a lot that I emailed last night too. I don't know what they look like or if I'm attracted but they've at least been supportive and nice. Even if it just stays an online friendship, that's fine.

Before I ended the break I was at the point of having sex dreams and kissing dreams about exes and stuff like that!

And I still want to contact a couple of guys from the past but that's probably the LAST thing i should be doing.

Anyway, up to about 5 more months and 2 days left of this subliminal to go, let's see what happens :-)
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04-08-2016, 12:32 PM
Post: #25
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
(04-08-2016 05:11 AM)Athena Wrote:  And I still want to contact a couple of guys from the past but that's probably the LAST thing i should be doing.

Leave the past in the past. Then again, I encountered two women from my past...
http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-7145-p...#pid103507
I ran into two women from my past while listening to OGSF 5G. Woman #1, I saw 4 years ago. Woman #2, I saw 2 years ago. Within a month, I met them separately for lunch only to find out how little in common we have and how far we have drifted apart.

They must feel the same way, I haven't heard from either of them since I had lunch with them... seperately. If you must, contact them, meet them, get it out of your system. Stop wondering, what if??

INTP-A
Poll: http://goo.gl/JwTd1W

When you imagine something vividly... your subconscious will bring it into reality.
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04-17-2016, 12:36 AM (This post was last modified: 04-17-2016 12:53 AM by Athena.)
Post: #26
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
I'm trying not to write in this TOO often but I feel like SOME progress has been made in a way, although there have also been some challenges and I just feel like doing an update. It's probably not going to be short at all, I'm afraid! Rolleyes

OK so, last Sunday I had my first date in over a year (like I said, self-imposed year off.) And my first kiss so that was nice Wink He wanted more but did not get it though it was really tempting, cos I also (self-imposed) have not had sex in over a year either. It was nice to have a date, but one thing that annoyed me was my shyness. He had beautiful eyes & a few times near the beginning, I found myself looking away. And the conversation didn't flow as well as I wanted, but PART of that was him, he mostly wanted to talk about sex! But also I felt quite shy. (But am I being too hard on myself, it WAS my first date in over a year?)

I said to a guy online earlier that sometimes a guy will laugh or smile broadly after kissing me and he said that means he's really enjoying it and doesn't want it to end. This guy DIDN'T do that but I feel excited imagining having THAT again!

I got a blast from the past, a guy from my last time on Tinder found me and HE wanted to meet up and bonka bonka too - yep same day as my date. I've had 2 dates with him but in both cases I'm glad I didn't, even though it was partially circumstantial that I didn't, including a potential car buyer calling wanting to see the car! Blast from the past thought I'd saved his number cos I said thanks and then he deleted the app. Now I have no contact info for him but maybe it's just as well? I don't want casual again. It was fun but now I crave connection, romance, love. And I have to be strong even though it's difficult, if a guy can't take me out on a few dates, he aint getting this.

Shyness has been an issue. I took a whole 24 hours to work up the nerve to have a phone chat with a guy! It went well when I did, I liked our chat but I asked him if he wanted to go for a walk in the park today & 4 hours later THIS is what I got in reply "would I be able to come see you later tonight?" I asked my chatroom boys and they said yep it's a hookup request. I've already told him I don't wanna roll like that so at the moment I'm ignoring it. I was quite bummed out though. Because as well as being cute in the pix, when we chatted on the phone, I found him quite intelligent & witty.

Shyness was an issue with this other guy. At one point he sent me this message "I am glad I found you you are my kind of woman" Yes I DID reply but after HIS reply I was SO shy it took me 3 days!! but I've since apologized for the delay.

Anyway, at the moment my shyness (and part of that, surely, is due to a year off men?) is not the biggest problem right now, the biggest problem is finding guys willing to take me on a date NOT just trying to hook up.

Yes, I know it's Tinder but I just don't like many guys offline and even if I DO, they don't seem to approach ANY woman! I tried Bumble, got one match sent a message and later on he's deleted the app! Gee, THANKS buddy! I've tried dating guys I'm NOT that attracted to, and I didn't like it. A lot of women do that & are quite happy to do that. But even if I get nervous at first, I LOVE those feelings, those butterflies it's a buzz that I just don't feel when I'm ho hum about a guy. It's not just about looks, cos I need more than just looks in my men. But when I kiss someone or even have sex with them, I don't want part of me to be like, WHY, for the love of...WHY are you DOING this? I've tried dating guys I'm not as attracted to and ugh I just can't. If that makes me a shallow bitch then well whatever. But I do care about what's on the inside too. So I feel like, despite a lot of people telling me to settle (and they never seem to tell MEN to settle, only women! It's like men, go for the 10! Women, if he's nice and has a penis, MARRY him!)


But the good things - cos yes I've talked about the two main challenges I've had - are that well, I've been getting matches. ALSO on some days I've been getting 2-3 superlikes a day!! I haven't been sent any dick pix - last time I got enough cock photos to make TWO cock of the month calendars! Seriously what am I supposed to DO with those things, wallpaper my room? Yeah, don't answer that!
But some of the messages have been really quite respectful this time around.

I thought about practice dates with guys from the chatroom, as in mutually agreed in advance practice dates when we BOTH know & agree it's for confidence-building and not a "real" date, I don't mean using some guy cos I'm not like that. And a couple of those guys are up for that. But I sort of feel like it's still not going to help as it's only when I am with handsome guys that I feel nervous. So it might help the guys but not really help me?

So this is a long entry and kinda rant-y. (sorry!) But I'm gonna try and focus on the good stuff:
I'm getting matches. I'm getting "super-likes" I've had my first date and kiss in over a year. And even though I often wish I WASN'T...I'm DEFINITELY bonk-able.
Blush

Hopefully at some stage though I can find men who SEE I'm not only bonkable but also date-worthy sigh.

It's still progress though, right?

Anyway, as I said I would I'll keep using the subliminal, up till 10th September (9 month mark) if that's how long it takes. And I'll try to push myself to get back out there and go to meetup groups and things again. I don't usually fancy anyone there, though it's good for me socially, but I DID get my last boyfriend from a kareoke meetup group. At least I'm considered attractive, right? I mean, before I went back to Tinder, I thought what if NOBODY i like fancies me. And yet I'm even having guys waste their one superlike of the day (well, unless they are paid members!) on lil ole me! What the HELL was I WORRIED about?! All that bullcrackers in my head telling me I'm not beautiful enough, I'm not young enough, lies, lies LIES! All the crap society shoves down our throats, utter bollix and jellybeans, all of it. I've also been affirming, I AM good enough to date. I AM beautiful enough to date. I remember another one I am girlfriend-material. Well, I am. I may not look like a model but some guys DO find me attractive. I also am kind, intelligent, educated and very witty. I can sometimes even make people laugh on demand! And I have a high sex drive & an open mind. Tongue Plus i've been told before I'm a great girlfriend and that I was a "wonderful wife." And my ex hubby said some of the best years of his life were spent with me. So, you know. I DO have SOME things going for me.

But I'm also going try detaching from it all a bit. Cos online dating can be frustrating. And looking for love can be one facepalm after another. I'm not one of these people with these super amazing lives, with a great job, great friends blah blah effing BLAH that I can throw myself into to distract me. BUT I DO feel that gratitude IS a key! And
I DID recently score a higher paying job than what I had, great team there too, I'm gonna get back into exercise more from next weekend (first week back at work and new job, didn't sleep well so took it easy this weekend but from next weekend it's back cycling or skating & getting fit again.) And I'm just gonna be grateful for anything I DO have. Even if I go to the odd meetup group and only make acquaintances. When I really want friends. Who message me and ask to do things. But I'm gonna find a way to appreciate even acquaintances.
OK, shutting up now, cos this has been long & hopefully not too controversial in any way? Huh Ducking from forum fire!
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04-17-2016, 08:44 AM
Post: #27
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
I just shared this with LionKing
http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-7177-p...#pid107499

I see you use meetup groups, not sure if you are aware of these two websites.
http://meetin.org/
http://www.meetup.com/

Sex - You made the right call with Mr. Past from Tinder and you made the right call with Mr. First Date.
Hopefully, you'll find a guy that is genuinely interested in you!!! And when sex happens, it happens.

I saw a movie once about this wealthy woman. Her wealthy Dad encouraged her to go after wealthy men and hopefully inherit their money when they die, they died and she got the money. Her regret in life?? She wished her Dad encouraged her to find someone that loves her...

INTP-A
Poll: http://goo.gl/JwTd1W

When you imagine something vividly... your subconscious will bring it into reality.
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04-19-2016, 09:57 PM (This post was last modified: 04-19-2016 10:00 PM by Athena.)
Post: #28
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
I'm on meet up though haven't been for a while due to
time/money. Will get back into it soon. I find it's better for acquaintances but I
think meet up is still great for social skills and can be fun. As I said my last boyfriend I
met through a karaoke meet up. Don't normally fancy the meet up guys but like I said it
can definitely be fun. Ran my own free group at one stage & back then had awesome friends from it.

Never heard of meetin! Appreciate both links will check meetin out!

Always really appreciate so much what you said about the sex.
Extremely helpful & I read it several times. Worst case scenario, I'll treat myself twice a year
LOL ?NOT making the year of celibacy TWO years!
BUT at the moment, what I REALLY want is dates - even though I get super nervous I actually
love dating for its own sake: the extrovert in me loves meeting someone new, the introvert in me
loves that it's one on one. And eventually a compatible, kind, handsome boyfriend who is "into" me & I
him.

So at the moment, I'm holding out for what I really want.
You encourage me so much thank you!!!
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4Kingdoms
04-25-2016, 08:37 PM
Post: #29
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
I've been reading what you posted on this thread http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-7092.html
I've also been reading a few Alpha Male v6 journals and a lot of the guys say they approach 40 to 100 women in person a month!! Obviously, they said no for them to continue approaching more women.
I realize it is a numbers game whether you do this online or in person.

You say you are shy, I get that. The book I'm about to recommend is written by a female author. It's title would probably stop women from reading it. However, there are photo's of women posing that will attract men without her having to approach a man. In essence, he will approach you because of the poses you are giving him.

From page 131 "If the fish aren't biting, you don't necessarily have to change the bait. Try a new stream."
Do an internet search for "Undercover Sex Signals free pdf"

After you read it, think about your past if you've done any of the poses and got a man to approach you.

INTP-A
Poll: http://goo.gl/JwTd1W

When you imagine something vividly... your subconscious will bring it into reality.
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05-04-2016, 10:22 AM (This post was last modified: 05-04-2016 10:25 AM by Athena.)
Post: #30
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
Thank you 4Kingdoms!

Yes I definitely appreciate you letting me know, plus I appreciate my replies on the Tinder post!

OK a quick SORT of update:

As well as some Tinder hotties who just want sex but so far I'm behaving (but DAYAM! they be HOT!)
I also have two other guys of interest:

With one the connection feels more platonic? It feels like there might not be enough physical attraction on either side, though there is some, but we both agree there IS common ground. Anyway it's nice to have that!

I also have a fave one who so far has been quite different from the ones who just want sex.

We've only messaged a few times but so far he's been very respectful and sweet & well it's hard not to --- I guess I would say I have a Tinder crush.
I am very attracted to the ones who want to bonka bonka too but with THIS guy, I'm wondering if it could be more than that. Or not. At the moment it's just messaging. It might never be more. Who knows but I'm enjoying it. He is legitimately busy a lot so even IF I get to meet him, I accept it might take time to happen.

Anyway, even though I haven't had any more dates - but come ON - I've only been back the app for less than a month! It's nice to have what i HAVE got, even if it's just messages & flirtations & attempts to seduce me.

And 3 of the ones who want a shag PLUS my crush are ALL physically my type (unless they are catfishing me, ha ha!)

I've had my ups and downs like finding my ex lover's instagram and bursting into tears (but...is it mean to say that he is looking quite a lot less hot now?) but I really wanted answers & closure and to ask WHY. I went to the chatroom & asked the guys there to talk me out of contacting him & I played "White lies" a few times - cos it has that refrain "Don't do it!" and actually it helped!

I thought about a week or two ago I might never get another boyfriend but then I thought OK either way I REALLY need to work on self-love a lot more. So I am doing things around that. And AT THE MOMENT! I am back to feeling calmer and more in the most and relaxed about the whole thing, LONG MAY IT LAST!

Sometimes I DO think about my crush, WHY would HE EVER go for ME? But I'm managing to overcome those thoughts and just I guess be a bit more hopeful that regardless if he does or not, someone I really fancy WILL.

I used to be SO GOOD at this. I'd get hot boyfriends and then for a few years it was a rather hot husband (nice guys too sometimes, not just hot, don't misunderstand!) and sometimes girls would even try to flirt with them & I'd just smile & think lucky me! Not so much of the insecurities or jealousy but it's like I have these layers of crap, I've been soaked in the cynicism and garbage I've read from others over the years but MAYBE I'm starting to shed that?

With my ex lover, as i said to someone, it was like when I met him, OK my self esteem and confidence were like a fragile vase but they WERE intact. But everything that happened there, left them shattered in pieces on the floor. Jagged, cutting pieces. But maybe, just maybe. I'm starting to heal a little more, little by little now. And, honestly, I read about women who had terrible relationships and then after the WORST relationship they'd ever had, they attracted the best relationship they've ever had.

Either way, I'm continuing to listen to the sub and feeling a little more patient with the process & journey, and a little bit more whole.
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05-04-2016, 11:00 AM
Post: #31
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
OK now I really AM starting to feel like sub might be slowly but surely doing SOMETHING!

I got 3 messages from one of the guys hadn't heard for couple of days but I'd forgotten about him. And one of the things he said was "I don't come on Tinder much now and the only person I talk to on here is you."

I was quite surprised to hear that and also I remembered about blast from the past guy how he said something like "I have other matches but they're not as attractive as you. And they're all boring!" OK bit different him cos we HAD had 2 dates whereas he may not have met those other girls.

But seriously WTF?! I don't think I'm all that. I wish I did, I really do. But it's stunning me to have some of these guys acting this way LOLLL!
Shannon, Shannon, Shannon, so far this sub is pretty dayam cool!!!
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05-10-2016, 08:32 PM
Post: #32
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
Reading about Cashmere Cat's and Rising's experiences yeah I can relate. I have a close match too.

From what I can see on the dating app and on his instagram, (I didn't stalk, I asked!!) basically he IS my type physically too, like eye colour, face shape, basic hair colour and one of my preferred body types, preferred age range and also like the other one I liked at my work before, he's musical too. But also a very sweet personality that I like. And so far acting very gentlemanly in his messages on the app! Plus he right-swiped me, and usually messages me every two days and usually apologizes for being busy with work so not answering sooner and he's asked if we can text as he says he doesn't use the app much. He hasn't got my number yet BTW!

Anyway the catch is he works a LOT. I know that's legit and not some bullsheet excuse but that also means there's a strong chance he'll never go beyond text buddy. Oh, here's another thing, sometimes his messages are quite long, which is also a good sign. He doesn't flirt a lot, but he DID say his back was sore & he needed a massage which some guys said was a flirt! and when he said "what else do you want to know?" when I asked if his eyes are naturally that colour I said I didn't want to bombard him with questions and he said I don't mind you bombarding me. When I commented on a photo (not of him) he said he has heaps more on his phone. (No buddy, you are NOT getting my digits yet. I dunno!)
Often askikng how my day or weekend have been & saying about his.
So, he's probably a close thing, you know?

I'd like to go on a date with him, but it might never happen and I'm - bit like what Cashmere Cat said - I'm trying to appreciate what he DOES offer.

Be nice even if he's just a sign a match who IS available and also a lot of what I want is on the way.
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05-10-2016, 09:15 PM
Post: #33
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
Why are you toying with this guy? If you still think he's interesting after all this time exchange numbers and give him the shot he seems to have earned. He's going to lose interest very soon if you keep going this path of stringing him along, as just like women do men will almost certainly free time in their busy schedule if we think a woman is worth our time, so don't you dare use that as an excuse to disqualify him.

A Better Alex (ISTJ): EPRHAASC → …
A Sexy Alex (ESTJ-T): BIABWS+DAOSDMSI → …
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05-10-2016, 09:58 PM
Post: #34
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
I DO like him!
But what if he only wants to sext?
Why is he asking my number to text if
we already message on the app?
If there is even a slight chance it's a
sign of interest, I'll give him my number.
There's also one other guy asking who I
like too but I like this one more & one who got
I think he got annoyed cos I wouldn't give my
number but only gave a link to a private
voice chat site.
I have had problems with guys on my phone before
but maybe I need to let go of those past things &
trust a bit more?
Sometimes I find it hard to know if a guy likes me or
Think they like me less than they do to be honest.
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05-11-2016, 04:14 AM
Post: #35
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
(05-10-2016 09:15 PM)apollolux Wrote:  Why are you toying with this guy? If you still think he's interesting after all this time exchange numbers and give him the shot he seems to have earned. He's going to lose interest very soon if you keep going this path of stringing him along, as just like women do men will almost certainly free time in their busy schedule if we think a woman is worth our time, so don't you dare use that as an excuse to disqualify him.

As a guy that has been toyed with... I do agree. I've always wondered why women communicate with me if they have no interest in meeting face to face?? This applies to the women I've met online.

Most of the women I meet with my schedule, I work with. They say they want to be friends and I'm cool with that. Then when I ask them out as a friend, the friendship ends. wtf?? It's more fun to socialize outside of work.

My belief is... you go out as friends. You may introduce him to a friend of yours, Miss Right and he may introduce you to a friend of his, Mr. Right. So many, what ifs...

(05-10-2016 09:58 PM)Athena Wrote:  Why is he asking my number to text if
we already message on the app?
If there is even a slight chance it's a
sign of interest, I'll give him my number.
There's also one other guy asking who I
like too but I like this one more & one who got
I think he got annoyed cos I wouldn't give my
number but only gave a link to a private
voice chat site.
I have had problems with guys on my phone before
but maybe I need to let go of those past things &
trust a bit more?

Now in your defense. If he can message you via the app, then why does he need your number? You can plan a date and meet in person via the app and never exchange numbers. I've done that!! I've also changed my phone number several times because women I wasn't interested in, kept calling me.

If he really wants to meet you... he will; not having your phone number in this day and age of technology where there is social media to stay in touch with each other exists... isn't a valid enough reason not to meet someone in person.

INTP-A
Poll: http://goo.gl/JwTd1W

When you imagine something vividly... your subconscious will bring it into reality.
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05-11-2016, 04:17 PM (This post was last modified: 05-11-2016 04:20 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #36
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
I disagree, if a woman won't give me her phone number because of some reason that doesn't make much sense (oh you have me on this app) then there's an issue and I wouldn't bother trying to even meet her if she can't so much as do that.

For me specifically I can't use these apps except on an emulator on my pc but it's also kind of symbolic, if she can't trust you enough to give you her number then there's something wrong.

Yes he is interested, but I agree with Apollolux.. if a woman was acting this way towards me i'd assume she's bsing me and not make much more effort.
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dweller94
05-11-2016, 05:07 PM
Post: #37
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
(05-11-2016 04:17 PM)Benjamin Wrote:  I disagree, if a woman won't give me her phone number because of some reason that doesn't make much sense (oh you have me on this app) then there's an issue and I wouldn't bother trying to even meet her if she can't so much as do that.

For me specifically I can't use these apps except on an emulator on my pc but it's also kind of symbolic, if she can't trust you enough to give you her number then there's something wrong.

Yes he is interested, but I agree with Apollolux.. if a woman was acting this way towards me i'd assume she's bsing me and not make much more effort.

@Athena
You have three points of view. Listen to your intuition and do what you feel most comfortable to you.

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When you imagine something vividly... your subconscious will bring it into reality.
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05-21-2016, 11:52 PM (This post was last modified: 05-21-2016 11:58 PM by Athena.)
Post: #38
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
Warning this is going to be long and a few names in this. I think I need to colour code!

I sort of have an update!

What a what and night WOAH.

OK, so, over a month ago, in April I think but it was definitely when I was still on my man-break, I chatted in the chatroom I go to chat to this American Hispanic guy. Now, some things about me. I'm not in the USA or from there although I've traveled there and one of my guy friends swears I'm American, even though I'm not. But - especially as in the past I had a few dates with an American Jewish guy and it was quite nice - I AM curious about American men. Some are players to say the least but some seem really cool. I've even thought at some stage I'd like to get the "attract your perfect American romantic lover" sub and see what happens LOL!

Anyway, I digress.
So we chatted and he was keen to be in touch on the phone and maybe to meet but I said no. Like I said, I was still on the man-break anyway.

We'll get back to him. I'm going to call him American guy.

I think it was on Thursday or Friday I matched with a new guy who we'll call M. M worked in America for two years, loves it talks about it and he's also traveled the world and we've exchanged a barrage of messages. Like no guy has messaged me THIS much! 4-5 long messages at once and he'll reply straight away. But I think he just wants sex but we're still a bit interested to meet and he wants to get coffee or something.

Before this, I asked F. on a date. Cos F was asking about my weekend and saying he didn't have plans so I asked him for a coffee. He said yes! We didn't get to that point but turns out F. who is pretty shy though at least at this point, is also French and said he can help me brush up on this & that might be fun. I just have to think of a public place to meet!

Then after all this I sort of had this, not horny energy but sort of like flirty energy? and I felt it needed to go somewhere so I messaged R, which is a bit mean cos R is gorgeous but R only wants sex cos of the age gap. He messaged back like RIGHT away though, which surprised me (on the dating app) and we briefly chatted but that was mean of me in a way to message him & be a bit flirty. Cos I've told him I want more than just sex. But I've never tried to lead him on or anything.

Anyway, later on, American guy got back from his work function and called me. Yes, I got very brave after inner debate and gave him my number. I've also given it to M (the travelling one) cos it's so easy to chat to him and to A (I think of A as my favourite, sort of like my crush. Like I said, R is gorgeous too, but he only wants sex - even though part of me is tempted! - so A is my favourite.

American guy and I chatted on the phone and it was so easy to chat to each other. Now, I don't know what he looks like and he doesn't know what I look like but we are both like eh let's do a blind date for the hell of it. But he is - honestly - he seems to kinda like me already. He says if he doesn't get to meet me tomorrow (work is crazy busy next week) it will be torture to wait a whole week, and at the work function he kept thinking about me and that between chatting on the site and him seeing me there again on Saturday, he had been going to that site for about a month, hoping I'd be on and he could connect with me! But again we don't know if either of us will be attracted, but I've said can we just be friends if not.
He has all these ideas for dates that I'm really keen on too!

And THEN! On Friday I sent A (my fave so far) a message cos we message too and one of the things I said was "Do you know we've been messaging for a month now" I felt inspired to say that, not sure why.

Well, last night, with all THIS going on! A messaged back and replied to my messages and one of the things he said was something like wow we've been messaging a month? I think it would be a good idea to meet up at some stage, what do you think?

I felt SO excited when I saw that. Cos I've wanted to meet A. In his photos he mostly looks very cute but also his messages are always so lovely and sweet to me. He asks about my day and says about his and if he's busy with work so he doesn't message for a day or two, he apologizes. And as I think I've said, he text speaks to friends on Instagram, but with me it's more formal, normal language. (that can be a sign someone is trying to impress, it might not be though.)

Ironically, like I said, work next week is extra stressful and busy and I've also maybe trying to secure a new job elsewhere too, or just get more concrete details about the job offer, really. So these guys may need to wait. Or not. Maybe I can find a way to juggle all this! Speaking of juggling, last night i was chatting with a few of them almost at the same time!

But the week after that I'm on half term (I'm a teacher) with a whole week off.

Anyway, that's my update. I haven't met any of them yet, though American guy is keen to meet today even if just for coffee.

But he, A, M and F all want to meet me! R does too, but as he only wants sex, he will probably have to dip out! Anyway that's my update.
The only other thing is I've felt more desire to eat healthy and try to lose weight over this last week or two. So that's another change I've noticed.
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05-30-2016, 12:19 AM
Post: #39
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
Hi guys this is an "inner life" one, mostly.

I DID have a date on Sunday :-) but what I mostly want to share is more about changes on the INSIDE.

A long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away HA!) like I said, some of my boyfriends were guys other women would also think of as handsome. I even dated someone who was briefly a barman, which of course means lots of other women in his place of work. Anyway, even though I had my moments of insecurity then too, I was pretty good. Like, I wasn't jealous of Jason doing his barman job and I trusted him not to cheat or run off into the sunset with some hottie. If I was with a boyfriend and another girl smiled at him flirtatiously, I would smile at HER and I would think "Yes, he IS yummy, yes, I AM lucky aren't I." things like that.

But more recently, and again it's since the divorce, even though we didn't divorce over another woman or lack of attraction on either side, like I WOULD feel threatened by other women. A LOT.

Even if I saw a photo of a guy with another girl. I remember balling my eyes out when I saw my ex boyfriend, Chris, in a photo side by side with another girl on his meetup profile. Till his best friend told me she's just a friend and doesn't even live in this country!

Anyway, my current fave who I'm crushing on, he let me see his instagram, heck he lets WHOEVER see it. But even though I've seen two photos of him standing side by side with 2 different girls, I'm not jealous. Whereas normally I WOULD be. And I don't see them as a threat. It helps that it was only ONE photo with each, sure. But also sometimes girls flirt with him on there. Part of it is that I'm not really seeing him flirt back with them. But he even had this girl really going for it and in the end he was like OK let's whatsapp but I'm just not jealous. I'm not feeling threatened. Normally I WOULD be. I won't pretend there's no insecurity on my part.
I might be meeting him soon and I'm worried that what if he only wants sex or
what if he's not attracted to me in real life, though I'm gradually and with a lot of inner work getting to the point of not caring so much!

But to not be plagued by that insecurity, that jealousy, ESPECIALLY as I ended things with my ex lover over photos of him with another woman (I was fine with him having sex with others though btw)

After all THAT being thrown in my face, hurting SO MUCH that I took a whole year off men, and to NOT feel jealous and insecure when I have seen my crush in photos with another woman or other girls saying flirty things, I think it's still HUGE HUGE progress.

And they ARE younger and slimmer than me.
And yet, I'm still not feeling jealous or threatened about it.
Normally i SO WOULD.

It feels like MAYBE I'm going back to how the old me used to be. And regardless whatever does or doesn't happen with my crush...I lo - ho -HOVE that.
SO MUCH.

And I think this subliminal could be part of the changes. ??
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05-30-2016, 01:57 AM
Post: #40
RE: Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal
Hi Athena, I'm loving your journal ....Btw, at what point on your listening timeline did you start to see these changes?

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
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