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Overcome Fear-5G
02-13-2017, 12:17 PM (This post was last modified: 02-14-2017 05:23 AM by Zane.)
Post: #21
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 17
I feel so frustrated that I lack motivation to pursue my Goals. I just don't know what to do. I wanna do something but Idk what.. I think about my career, future and consciously want to work towards it but the fire/will/determination/motivation.. Whatever you wanna call it is just not there.... Thinking about this frustrates me....

It's 3:46 pm and I woke up at around 2 pm.
Cause all night I wasn't able to sleep so I did a little experiment and found out that, due to ultrasonic sub playing at night I am not able to sleep.. cause I think my subconscious feels as if someone is shouting at it all night.

So I am gonna change the listening hours of the sub.. Idk how much exposure I am gonna get from the sub so I am gonna try to make it play minimum for 12 hours.. Considering that I will be outside for like 2-3 hours.. Lets see how that works out..

Update : Okay It's 6:48 Pm and I am feeling pretty good. I was right. Whenever the sub is playing I am always high and feel good. But if I play this sub at night then I am tired cause I want to sleep but sub keeps me awake.. So from now I am gonna play the sub from 8 am to 9 pm.. Its gonna happen automatically as I use an app called "MacroDroid" which helps u customize your phone like a pro..and it plays the sub automatically..

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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02-15-2017, 04:20 AM (This post was last modified: 02-15-2017 02:18 PM by Zane.)
Post: #22
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 18

Sub Playing 16 hours daily from 6am-10pm.

Dreamt that my two younger brothers were killed from a train accident right in front of my eyes.. But then I found out that someone had already planned it.

So that guy tried to blame me for the murder and I got emotional and was loosing the case in the court but then, I suddenly cast my emotions aside and became totally logical minded and started asking question from the guy who was trying to blame me for all this and I was about to win the case but then two professional ladies came out of nowhere and I woke up... The feeling of Loss when all this happened was so bad but I overcame it pretty quickly in my dreams.

In another dream which I had a few days ago. I was trying to keep my bro by choking his neck. Cause he would call me looser indirectly..

Right now I am afraid to meet my Aunt and Uncle who just came because I some stupid acne spots on my face so I am kinda insecure to go in front of them. I did say "Hello " to them while they were entering my house so that they don't notice it. Due to this I am feeling Stressed..

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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02-15-2017, 12:17 PM (This post was last modified: 02-16-2017 03:36 PM by Zane.)
Post: #23
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 19
It's 1:43am and I fapped after 4 days of NoFap. I really don't know why I fapped. I guess I should have seen it coming. I guess I was feeling depressed and wanted an escape. Idk but I wasn't in the mood to fap. I Guess I did it just to escape the sadness or whatever it is, cause I really didn't enjoy it..

Realisation : Nothing goes according to a plan,you will slip, stumble and fall. This is the universe's/God's (whatever you wanna call it) way of making u learn about things you might not even be aware off.... So stop crying about stuff that it didn't go as planned.

Time is 8:26 pm

Man Listening to sub for 18 hours a day made me really tired I slept for like 12 houts and woke up at 4pm. I just drqnk Chocololate MilkShake and roam around the house and then took cold shower.(I am never gonna leave this cold shower thing ever again)...After that I went out to My Cellular operator store to get a new sim..I feel as if people are helping me out of respect but i feel stupid..

Dream: I dreamt that I was a little kindergarten kid and was happily playing with my friends. I was so innocent and full of positive emotions and no worry and I was smiling as if I was the happiest kid in the world.. I was watching this a third person view.
I saw that there was this satellite which was tracking me but I felt as if the satellite was from another planet..It's like they or whoever was tracking me through a satellite, considered me a threat to them in future so their plan was to make me weak emotionally and mentally so that I cannot reach my full potential.. I mean they feared me.. and we're tracking me and were afraid of my existence.

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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02-17-2017, 04:27 AM (This post was last modified: 02-17-2017 09:16 AM by Zane.)
Post: #24
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 20
I had a very explicit and sexual dream, which included girls on beach and stuff. When I woke up I was so horny that I went to bathroom to get one out, but as I started rubbing one out I just suddenly gained the will to stop it and didn't do it. This happened in like 10 sec.. I have never ever been able to do that in past 15 year.. I guess Shannon was right.
Addiction is a escape. . An escape from reality cause we fear it and when u start facing those fears. You have no desire to escape anymore.. Still I feel I am not gonna last as the urge is strong.

Update: I lost to my urges.. Anyway will start again.

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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02-17-2017, 10:45 AM
Post: #25
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 20

I can feel some kind of strength growing inside idk what it is but it makes me feel as if "I have the power to choose and control".. I read somewhere that " Fear is the Enemy of Will ".. I can feel as if my willpower is growing at exponential rate or I can also say that my fears are being removed at an exponential rate. .

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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02-18-2017, 01:12 AM
Post: #26
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
I can attest to the feeling of strength growing. I love the feeling when this sub clicks into gear Smile

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Zane
02-18-2017, 05:28 PM (This post was last modified: 02-19-2017 11:21 AM by Zane.)
Post: #27
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 21

I seriously don't know what the hell is going on..I can't seem to put it in words. I don't even know what to say. "Confusion" is the word here,if I were to describe it.

(12 Hours Later)

So for the past 3 days I have been very unproductive and I suddenly lost my will to control myself and I relapsed, relapsed Idk how many time and then after that I played game for like 12 hours. I count this as resistance cause for past 8 days before this I was enjoying myself in real world... But for past 3 days my brain is doing stuff which for me is an escape... I don't like games seriously!! I have this what people call "Fps Nausea " and fapping is also an escape.... But now I think it's over...

So its time I get back on track. . It was some kind of resistance but not a good one..

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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02-19-2017, 02:41 PM (This post was last modified: 02-19-2017 09:50 PM by Zane.)
Post: #28
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 22 (3:22 am)
Just watched a horror movie.. well I won't call it a horror movie at all... But still took "Librium" and now feeling sleepy. It's actually strange that I forgot to take "Librium" for past 7 days. Actually now when I think of it I was drawn to take Librium when I first started this sub. Think my subconscious guided me to take this step because if anything which makes my resistance worse and makes me want to change the subs is anxiety, and when I am anxious my logical thinking is out of window and I can end up doing something which I will regret later.. For example Once I tried to buy Adderall but it wasn't available on counters so I went online and talked to a guy and he convinced me to transfer about.$200 and I did. My mom gave me that money cause we were having money problems but still I convinced her and she gave,I regret my decision even now. After I went to a psychiatrist he measured my BP and said that I have anxiety, I was shocked because I was just talking to to him normally and I had so much of anxiety that he had to give sleeping pills + anxiety medications.. . So after I knew Anxiety has been a part of my whole life. I got so used to it that I didn't even knew I had it.. .
ALSO this confirms it :
http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-8313-p...#pid157104
So I guess I would say this med has helped me great deal in dealing with resistance which causes anxiety..I am thinking of running this sub for sometime longer.

Time 10:53 am

I slept at around 4 or 4:30 am and woke up at around 9:26 am. As soon as I woke up I was kinda surprised that I woke up this early. Usually when I fall asleep at 4 am I am expected to wake up at around 12:30 pm. But Today it was different. I really hope that this sub can also somehow fix my sleep timing cause I can see it happening gradually.

So I woke up and made myself breakfast (Tea and Instant-Noodles) and after having finished my breakfast I had this thought that ..

"We all waste so much of our time doing mindless things which wont even benefit us...You know like mostly waste time surfing net for nothing..Everyday is important and we should read and learn something everyday..Everyday is an opportunity....Dont waste it..We got only one life to live why waste it..."

Thoughts like these were very alien to me before, I mean to say that I knew them before,its just that I didn't understood it that deeply. As I am writing this I am totally calm.

Also told my sis about MLS 5.5G and she has already started saving money for that..

As for me I hardly doubt that I will be able to use that sub if it came out cause I asked Shannon and he told me that I have some intense fears in my subconscious so I am gonna have to use this sub a bit longer..... Who would have thought that fear can affect u this much that it can make you paralysed so that u wont be able to wake further in life....I always thought that Fears help one survive,move forward and make progress...I guess its only works for short term..In long terms it doesnt,and since it isnt working anymore so I am gonna have to throw it out of my life.

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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02-20-2017, 04:31 PM (This post was last modified: 02-21-2017 08:25 AM by Zane.)
Post: #29
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 23 5:58 am

Been up all night and all of a sudden idk I had intense thoughts of buying MHS 5.5G. I know this some kind of resistance but I am not feeling anxiety right now. ..Well its just a thought and after maybe a day it won't bother me any more.

7:45 pm

My Attitude right now towards life : **** me all u want. . I don't care, I am already ***** up..

9:53 pm

I am still having thoughts for changing subs.. but I can deal with it.. I guess the sub is starting to do its real job now... Now the days really counts.

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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02-21-2017, 11:55 AM (This post was last modified: 02-25-2017 01:27 PM by Zane.)
Post: #30
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 24
Feeling Low..

For past 2-3 days I havnt been out of my house. I havnt seen the sun in 3 days. I just stay in my room cause I am feeling comfortable here right now and its not that I am afraid of going out its just that I dont want to, maybe its some kind of healing going on at emotional level. I am comfortable in my own skin.

Also my family is watching alot of "Horror Movies"...lol whats with that. I always expected to have movies related to death but i haven't seen any related to that.

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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02-22-2017, 09:45 AM
Post: #31
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Changing urself does take time but it's worth the wait and effort

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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02-23-2017, 08:49 PM (This post was last modified: 02-25-2017 08:21 AM by Zane.)
Post: #32
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 26

Well I was having a lot of thoughts of buying and changing subs..I guess it's some form of anxiety or something.
Sometimes reading post of "MHS 5.5G", "E2" and upcoming "MLS 5.5G"..Makes me want to hurry which causes confusion .. But I have learnt that doing so will not get me anywhere. It's not like IML is going anywhere... So what do I have to lose?
The only thing that matters is that I run my subs properly and for a recommended time. Temptations will come and go but I must keep doing what I am supposed to do and that is to listen sub.

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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02-27-2017, 08:25 AM (This post was last modified: 03-01-2017 02:49 AM by Zane.)
Post: #33
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
I switched to OF-5G. Its so powerful and working much faster. I can feel its effect.

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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Cyanide
03-01-2017, 03:02 AM
Post: #34
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 32

Well I am gonna try my best to remember how I feel right now cause its really hard to describe..

I havnt taken Librium(Anxiety Drug) since day 22 before that I took it regularly when I first started the sub.

I am not that stressed anymore...

I am easily able to speak my mind.Before that I had hard time searching and thinking what to say and how to say.

I am not feeling that much depressed anymore.

I somewhat feel free.

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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03-05-2017, 12:31 AM (This post was last modified: 03-05-2017 02:41 AM by Zane.)
Post: #35
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 36

I still suffer from Social Anxiety,well I wont call it social anxiety as I am willing to go outside,Its just that I avoid meeting certain people. I really dont know why. Maybe its because I have acne scars and dont want to face people due to it or is it the other way around ? God Knows.

Day 2 of Nofap and I relapsed few moments ago and I dont feel that much tired or lazy like I used to feel before I started this sub. Ever since I have started using this OF Sub relapses dont seem to affect me anymore,I am still active and somewhat high even after that(BTW I dont watch Porn). Maybe this how normal people feel who are not addicted to masturbation. I guess this is why some people lifes are not affected by fapping,Its all subconscious stuff.

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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03-06-2017, 06:39 AM
Post: #36
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 37

I was having anxious thoughts of changing subs. These thoughts make me feel bad and somewhat depressed which triggers me to change subs as I desperately want to change my life Asap.

Since I have switched to OF 5G a week ago,no wonder I am having anxious thoughts to change subs..This is a type of resistance which hits me usually when I start any sub.

So I was having these thoughts and I nearly changed the sub but then I remembered something. The only way to deal with this kind of resistance is that start taking my anxiety pills again i.e "Librium". I guess I will have to take these meds for about two weeks and then I will stop. Or maybe I will take them whenever I will have anxious thoughts...

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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03-11-2017, 09:31 PM
Post: #37
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 43

Willing to go outside and enjoying it.
Social Anxiety fading slowly.
Listening to Music. Alot
Losing interest in Movies and internet a little bit.
Reduced skin picking by 70%.

No reduction in fapping habits but fapping doesnt effect me that much.(BTW i use a technique call injaculation where u only orgasm but dont ejaculate, due to will I am not that tired anymore after fapping)

Motivation/Interest to Study is literally zero. I really dont even want to read a single page of my textbook. Its like I am taking a long break from studies. Just thinking about it makes me tired.Idk why is that. Or maybe I am mentally tired from all the years of stress which was triggered from fear..Idk what to blame Depression or ADHD


Whatever I think subs are the only way to give my cognitive abilities back.

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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03-12-2017, 08:38 AM
Post: #38
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Are you manually suppressing the ejaculation during orgasm?
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03-12-2017, 10:07 AM (This post was last modified: 03-13-2017 12:33 AM by Zane.)
Post: #39
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
(03-12-2017 08:38 AM)Nox Wrote:  Are you manually suppressing the ejaculation during orgasm?

Yep. Learned about this technique from "Mantak Chai" book. Its called "Million Dollar Point".

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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03-20-2017, 01:28 AM
Post: #40
RE: The Fight Begins - Overcome Fear
Day 50

Change of Plans.
My next sub after this would have been MHS 5.5G,but I read that Shannon is gonna start working on MLS 5.5G. So I am gonna start saving for MHS and MLS.

Meanwhile I am gonna start liatening to MLS 5G as soon as I hit day 60 or 90 with this sub. As I never got the chance to use it.

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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