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The Hepatitis Bathtub and Other Stories - MLS 3 5.5 G
08-10-2017, 02:22 PM
Post: #61
RE: Flinging Open the Doors of Perception - An MLS 5.5 G Tale
(08-10-2017 02:06 PM)Raz Wrote:  The anger is back.

While the past few days have been relatively quiet, today was characterized by pure very deep anger. I was openly angry and snapped at people that acted smug and entitled, I felt burningly angry towards people that I perceived to take advantage of me, angry at people for telling me how to do things when they themselves couldn't do them properly at all. I even yelled furiously at my dad in a dream last night.

I am not sure but I have a hunch that this is related to the long past days of elementary school and even kindergarten. It just ominously reminds me of it.

Interesting things is that as soon as I release the anger verbally (doesn't matter if I raise my voice or calmly express what angers me) it is gone. No mental replay, no sulking, no 'I am better than thou'. Well ... like really released. Maybe ... is this how such a state of mind should be dealt with in a healthy way?

Quite possibly. I had a similar thing occur yesterday, DMSI-related, when releasing my anger resulting from me being annoyed by people's dishonesty and backstabbing; I belted out the song "Walk" by Pantera, and felt lighter, calm and elated afterwards, and had the annoying "mental replay" (I have that in spades, heh) stop.

Hmm, perhaps verbal expression is the way to go. I've been seriously annoyed by the insistent "mental replay" (great term, stealing it Wink ) in the past, and have been trying to figure out a way to deal with it, as I believe it to be my subconscious bugging me about something.

Also, I've noticed I've been talking to myself quite a bit when alone in my apartment, also related to things on mental replay.
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Raz
08-12-2017, 11:35 AM
Post: #62
Day 23
I am suddenly engulfed by a vortex of depression that came out of nowhere. I suppose it is not meant to be sunny all the time.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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08-13-2017, 04:50 AM
Post: #63
Day 24
The negativity subsided pretty quickly.

One thing that comes back to me in cycles since I started running subliminals that include Ultra Success is design in many facets. First I noticed (and learned and applied) on my first BASE run, then on the second. Then to an extent on DMSI. And now it is coming back on MLS with full force. Typesetting, presentations, vocal training, creating and editing picture content (bitmaps, vectors, photography, color mapping, fractal repetition) and so on and so forth.

Seems to be my thing Cool

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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Raikahoken
08-13-2017, 07:30 AM
Post: #64
RE: Flinging Open the Doors of Perception - An MLS 5.5 G Tale
Can you tell what the negativity originates from? Resistance, subconscious H&C processing, something else?

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
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08-13-2017, 08:45 AM
Post: #65
Day 24
(08-13-2017 07:30 AM)Shannon Wrote:  Can you tell what the negativity originates from? Resistance, subconscious H&C processing, something else?

I'd say it stems mostly from healing and clearing. Although I don't know what exactly is being addressed at the moment, my dreams make it pretty clear that something is being worked on. And add some sleep deprivation to the mix.

As for resistance ... either I haven't really had resistance towards the program or I cannot tell it apart from some rougher periods of healing/clearing in that case.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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08-13-2017, 10:38 AM
Post: #66
Day 24
It is really interesting to go from day to day with this generation of subs.

After I stayed a long time on DMSI I got this constant feeling of 'today I am not the same I was yesterday and tomorrow I won't be the same I am today'. And now I am starting to get the same with MLS. A positive sense that tomorrow really anything might happen.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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08-14-2017, 07:05 PM (This post was last modified: 08-15-2017 11:04 AM by Raz.)
Post: #67
Day 26
The last few nights I woke up several times being completely drenched with sweat. Together with my dreams I am sure something that scares the hell out of me is being addressed. I just have no clue what that something is.

Other than that the amount of sleep I need to not be exhausted in the morning seems to have gone down dramatically.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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08-16-2017, 08:52 AM (This post was last modified: 08-16-2017 08:56 AM by Raz.)
Post: #68
Day 27
I look at the day counter and it has been almost a month on MLS now. Honestly I feel as if I am still in the very early beginning with it. I'd like to own every bullet point on the list. But I am convinced that it'll take me a long time.

Unlike before, where I couldn't bring myself to stay on track too long with one program, I know that this is different now. I can see myself running MLS easily for one year or more. My goals and the program goals are very much aligned.

And to be honest ... I really want to see myself transformed in the MLS way. But I am repeating myself Wink

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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08-17-2017, 08:42 AM (This post was last modified: 08-17-2017 08:43 AM by Raz.)
Post: #69
Day 28
I am developing a real taste for pure fresh water. I really begin to like it a lot. Usually I don't drink enough. And if I do it's rarely water (mostly teas, coffee, juices). Now I easily drink 1 to 2 liters water besides my usual intake. I really thirst for water.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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Raikahoken
08-20-2017, 01:35 AM (This post was last modified: 08-20-2017 01:36 AM by Raz.)
Post: #70
Day 31
Lately I don't feel like doing anything at all. At the same time I am exploring a thousand and one things without thinking about it. I fill my mind with a multitude of information on different topics and I am trying out new stuff every weekend when I have time to do it.

On the other hand, things that I should be doing (you know, stuff that will pave the road for my personal success) are collecting dust. That is hardly news, but the contrast of me plunging myself into many many topics (remember the movie adaptation of starship troopers? there were those infomercial-like clips that always ended with 'Would you like to know more?' I am always following that I-want-to-know-more trail of breadcrumbs to infinity. The book is better than the movie by the way.) to me not doing the very things I have at hand that will make my future better has increased by a lot.

But I know that I will manage to do things the right way eventually ... at least one of the many right ways I mean.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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Raikahoken
08-20-2017, 05:27 AM
Post: #71
RE: Flinging Open the Doors of Perception - An MLS 5.5 G Tale
I've had this issue and what I've found is that I become more interested in learning but the mind is going for low hanging fruit in terms of learning, so in the past I just started picking up many things which gave me an easy fix in terms of a sense of short term achievement but got me no closer to the goal.

Actually sitting down and grinding it out with the actions and learning you want to do will still take effort and it's useful to have strategies for making that pain, fear and discomfort manageable.

Since I posed the problem to myself I have come up with a strategy which seems to be helping me and I'll share it in case it helps - note when I refer to 'you' I acknowledge that this may not apply to you or your style, I'm merely contributing to you in case it is useful for you or anyone else who may read.

Say you're sitting there at 1pm and you're at a loss, about how to start and you want to get through a set of tasks.

Step 1. Decide clearly that you're not going to work passed a certain time. Say you decide that at 6PM you're going to the gym and going to have an enjoyable evening. This is important, you have to respect yourself and your limitations, you're not going to work forever, and you care about yourself enough to treat yourself just for trying.

Step 2. Set out a task list, with a 'complete by' time. They have to be very manageable and in a maximum of 15 minute chunks. I'll walk you through what's in my notebook.

It's now 1:08.
Begin work - 1:10
List things that need to be done - 1:15
Go through list and expand on each, do I have what I need to complete these? 1:25
Pick top three tasks to begin in order of priority/and ease of completion. 1:30

ensure you have a digital clock near by to view the time, and how it is progressing you will note that this removes some of the anxiety about the work you're doing and how long it is taking - you will feel the value and space of one minute, two minutes, three minutes etc - and in doing that you will be able to enter into pleasurable flow states.

In 20 minutes you have a clear sense of what you can achieve - now repeat the process again with the first task you identified, what can you do in the next 5/10 minutes? it could be just locating the necessary books/resources and settling down... after that, say your goal is to read through a chapter of a text book with sub headings, your next step may be to, within 10 minutes note down each sub heading with a sentence on each about what you think each is.

Then your goal may be to spend the next 20 minutes reading under the first sub heading etc. so in your note book you will have something like

1.45 books, note paper and resources needed ready
2.00 clear on first chapter sub headings - what are they, what could be under each.
2.10 - understand first paragraph

yes 10 minutes on one paragraph, if you think it's complex stuff and it's a short paragraph, give yourself 10-15-20 mins, set yourself up for winning, and not failing with each of these - the time given should be enough to make you feel confident you can achieve the goal in that time, but just stretching enough to keep it exciting.





This has been working for me with work related tasks and studying, there may or may not be something useful in there for you.

Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
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08-20-2017, 10:47 AM (This post was last modified: 08-20-2017 10:47 AM by Raz.)
Post: #72
Day 31
Thanks Darwin. That's really practical advise. I really should try it.

ION: I just read through this journal ... and realized that I sound like a know-it-all asshole that's using big phrases to emphasize smartness out of fear to be seen as stupid. Seen as stupid by whom? Let's find out where this new rabbit hole leads.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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08-21-2017, 03:10 AM
Post: #73
Day 32
It's been 28 days since I stopped smoking. Seems phlegm cough-up is almost over. It was less intense than I have experienced before. Interestingly I haven't wasted even a single thought on lighting up another cigarette, and that although I am almost daily surrounded by smokers. It's as if I have never even been a smoker, despite me knowing the opposite. The process of stopping has always been easy but this time it was like deciding not to wear that one worn out shirt anymore.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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08-24-2017, 12:18 AM
Post: #74
Day 35
These days are quiet. The initial strong contrast to how I operated on other subliminals is gone, as are the initial tangible effects. Now with stuff like the naturalizer in full swing I don't notice much that's going on.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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08-26-2017, 08:35 PM
Post: #75
Day 38
I am hitting a wall in slow motion.

Feeling like I forfeited my life and the opportunities it presented me. Not an inch of self-discipline is left. My sleep is a mess even when I don't listen to MLS at night. And I don't want to listen to MLS anymore at all ... or to subs in general. Too much invested time with so very limited returns.

Now that registers under resistance in my book. F*ck you resistance!

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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08-26-2017, 09:47 PM
Post: #76
RE: Flinging Open the Doors of Perception - An MLS 5.5 G Tale
(08-26-2017 08:35 PM)Raz Wrote:  I am hitting a wall in slow motion.

Feeling like I forfeited my life and the opportunities it presented me. Not an inch of self-discipline is left. My sleep is a mess even when I don't listen to MLS at night. And I don't want to listen to MLS anymore at all ... or to subs in general. Too much invested time with so very limited returns.

Now that registers under resistance in my book. F*ck you resistance!

Similar feelings for me on Day 15.

Alpha Male 5.0 Journal / Sex Magnet 3.0 Journal
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Raz
08-27-2017, 07:06 PM
Post: #77
Day 39
Interesting dream content last night.

There was a subconscious quake of a high magnitude. It produced a tsunami-like effect on the world and I had to climb to the very top of my home which had dozens and dozens of floors in order to avoid being hit by the wave. The wave surrounded the whole world and crushed and drowned everything in its path. The thing looked awe-inspiring and came complete with "It's the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)" playing as the soundtrack (again).

Later dream fragments referenced always back to that event. But something changed and I was hearing Queen's "Don't stop me now" in the background. One interesting reference involved me asking my mother if the wave would come back and she saying "no, not for now" and me noticing that it'll be interesting to find out what it had shaken loose in the deep and washed ashore in the process.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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08-29-2017, 08:11 AM
Post: #78
Day 40
I am still in the realm of resistance. Thoughts of quitting and/or program change are there, oddly concentrated in the first few hours after waking up in the morning. But it is easier to ignore and dismiss those thoughts than it has been in the past while running other subs.

All in all I don't notice much from MLS in terms of nudging or enhancing at the moment. Still, I think that I am changing but am unable to actively see it unfolding, either because it is happening just outside the time-frame of my perception or because it involves changes on much deeper, much broader levels. Possibly all of that mixed together.

Anyway, since there is literally no other sub around that I'd run instead of MLS, keeping committed is as easy as it comes for me. And if it takes several weeks to months before improvements are noticeable from dietary changes (except in cases of severe depletion of one or more components), why should it be any different for subliminal soul food?

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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08-31-2017, 08:18 AM
Post: #79
Day 42
I get the feeling that I experience resistance after listening sessions with the hybrid while feeling pretty good with the ultrasonic. So I'll stick with the ultrasonic version for now.

Some days ago I followed the urge to have a large bowl of carrot-apple salad mixed with some grams of coconut flakes. The taste got me hooked instantly and I am having one every day now. I am convinced that this is a result of the detox scripting in MLS.

I can relate to ichigo and Arsenic in terms of walking on a plateau these days. However, I am certain that another hike is closely ahead.

Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
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08-31-2017, 01:40 PM
Post: #80
RE: Flinging Open the Doors of Perception - An MLS 5.5 G Tale
(08-26-2017 09:47 PM)Ampersnd Wrote:  
(08-26-2017 08:35 PM)Raz Wrote:  I am hitting a wall in slow motion.

Feeling like I forfeited my life and the opportunities it presented me. Not an inch of self-discipline is left. My sleep is a mess even when I don't listen to MLS at night. And I don't want to listen to MLS anymore at all ... or to subs in general. Too much invested time with so very limited returns.

Now that registers under resistance in my book. F*ck you resistance!

Similar feelings for me on Day 15.

Same I'm having trouble sleeping more than 7 hours per night, even when I need more.

Also I can't stay up working late at night like I used to.

When it's 11pm, my eyes now autoclose without my consentment which can be quite annoying ^^

"There is a fine line between consideration and hesitation. The former is wisdom, the latter is fear."
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