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text exchange question..
09-10-2017, 04:17 PM
Post: #1
text exchange question..
So SH said to me about 5 days ago "You're really freaking cool btw. I enjoy talking to you"

Then 2 days later I sent her some messages and the convo fizzles really fast with her saying one word "Lol", and today, she says "Lol" again, with not much effort at all again. Does this sound like she's playing hard to get and/or trying to not show too much interest? I didn't say anything that would be offputting or osmething. Do girls do this a lot? Like say how awesome you are, then suddenly act super uninterested and short answers, etc. just to mess with you and/or test you to see how you react?
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09-11-2017, 03:47 AM
Post: #2
RE: text exchange question..
Girls do a lot of things that doesn't make sense, at least not to us guys.

INFP - Introvert Intuitive Feeler Perceiver
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09-11-2017, 03:58 AM
Post: #3
RE: text exchange question..
(09-10-2017 04:17 PM)dissonance Wrote:  So SH said to me about 5 days ago "You're really freaking cool btw. I enjoy talking to you"

Then 2 days later I sent her some messages and the convo fizzles really fast with her saying one word "Lol", and today, she says "Lol" again, with not much effort at all again. Does this sound like she's playing hard to get and/or trying to not show too much interest? I didn't say anything that would be offputting or osmething. Do girls do this a lot? Like say how awesome you are, then suddenly act super uninterested and short answers, etc. just to mess with you and/or test you to see how you react?

She might have expected more from you, and could feel embarrassed if you didn't reciprocate. Usually a girl who says, "You're really freaking cool," means, "I like you a lot, do you like me, too?"

Women really aren't that big of a mystery, and believing so is really just another reason people tend to give themselves as an "out" with their failures in relation to women.

What did you say to her in response?
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09-11-2017, 09:15 AM (This post was last modified: 09-11-2017 09:20 AM by Ars0n1sT.)
Post: #4
RE: text exchange question..
Quite a few possibilities really. Some girls will text lol because they enjoy talking to you and don't know what to say because they're embarrassed from feeling flirty or the sorts. To determine if that's the case, I usually say "Lol a talkative one arentcha" but thats just me. Lots of times I get the "omg im so sorry i'm such an awkward person hahaha" text back which means theyre interested but really don't know how to respond. If she responds lol to your first text (youre a talkative one arentcha), then say "alrighty then, nice chat haha, I'll talk to you later." But... I can be somewhat of an assertive, playful, asshole at times and I don't put females on a pedestal, so, thats my approach. To me, if they're being weird and cant hold a conversation or they are not interested then they're wasting my time, because I'm generally a busy dude. Why waste time with someone who doesn't want to talk to you? Maybe they're just in a weird mood and can't conversate... ok it happens. End the conversation and talk to her another time. Or, better yet, let her talk to you first.

Also - You can and should end a conversation. This sets the stage that she's chasing you. Ok so this gets into game and stuff but basically no, you're not trying to be a total asshole and you shouldn't, but essentially by ending the conversation it establishes that youre a busy, important guy (which you should be) and as such you cant always sit down and text. Also this keeps the conversation from getting stale. You go do other things before the conversation drops off and it allows your next interaction to be more positive.

Its been 2 days now. You start up a conversation. "Hey did you hear about xyz and the blah blah it was so cool / whats up with you" and she short answers you. Her: "Yeah. lol" You: "Yeah it was crazy. good stuff. insert next topic here." her: "haha yeahhh" you: "Lol not a morning person are ya. Get some coffee in ya and I'll talk to you later - I have to run!" You are not obligated to say what youre about to go do. You're busy and you have shit to do, simple as that.

To add to this more - you're calling her out. In a nice way. You're pointing out the elephant in the room. The elephant is that she's being weird... and, you're about to be the weird one if you don't acknowledge that she's being weird, because trying to make something work and ignoring the elephant is in fact weird. It took me awhile to realize this. But the other thing to keep in mind, is you should generally assume everything (you and her, the interaction) is cool. You don't want to be that guy who asks her a million questions and worries. "omg was it something I said? did I insult you? Why are you ignoring me? ARE you ignoring me?? omg I like you so much youre really cute" Don't ever say any of that crap. Or I will come through this screen and slap you.

Happy to help. We can talk dynamics and such.

23. ENTP.
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09-11-2017, 10:01 AM (This post was last modified: 09-11-2017 10:28 AM by dissonance.)
Post: #5
RE: text exchange question..
(09-11-2017 03:58 AM)RTBoss Wrote:  
(09-10-2017 04:17 PM)dissonance Wrote:  So SH said to me about 5 days ago "You're really freaking cool btw. I enjoy talking to you"

Then 2 days later I sent her some messages and the convo fizzles really fast with her saying one word "Lol", and today, she says "Lol" again, with not much effort at all again. Does this sound like she's playing hard to get and/or trying to not show too much interest? I didn't say anything that would be offputting or osmething. Do girls do this a lot? Like say how awesome you are, then suddenly act super uninterested and short answers, etc. just to mess with you and/or test you to see how you react?

She might have expected more from you, and could feel embarrassed if you didn't reciprocate. Usually a girl who says, "You're really freaking cool," means, "I like you a lot, do you like me, too?"

Women really aren't that big of a mystery, and believing so is really just another reason people tend to give themselves as an "out" with their failures in relation to women.

What did you say to her in response?

SH: You're really freaking cool btw. I enjoy talking to you
Me: Ayee you are too haha. Your name fits you perfectly.
Me: Except for the 12 idk wtf that part means
SH: Lol thanks and idk lol. These names are random.

I have screenshots of the bulk of that extended msg exchange down in the next post
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09-11-2017, 10:15 AM (This post was last modified: 09-11-2017 10:54 AM by dissonance.)
Post: #6
RE: text exchange question..
(09-11-2017 09:15 AM)Arsenic Wrote:  Quite a few possibilities really. Some girls will text lol because they enjoy talking to you and don't know what to say because they're embarrassed from feeling flirty or the sorts. To determine if that's the case, I usually say "Lol a talkative one arentcha" but thats just me. Lots of times I get the "omg im so sorry i'm such an awkward person hahaha" text back which means theyre interested but really don't know how to respond. If she responds lol to your first text (youre a talkative one arentcha), then say "alrighty then, nice chat haha, I'll talk to you later." But... I can be somewhat of an assertive, playful, asshole at times and I don't put females on a pedestal, so, thats my approach. To me, if they're being weird and cant hold a conversation or they are not interested then they're wasting my time, because I'm generally a busy dude. Why waste time with someone who doesn't want to talk to you? Maybe they're just in a weird mood and can't conversate... ok it happens. End the conversation and talk to her another time. Or, better yet, let her talk to you first.

Also - You can and should end a conversation. This sets the stage that she's chasing you. Ok so this gets into game and stuff but basically no, you're not trying to be a total asshole and you shouldn't, but essentially by ending the conversation it establishes that youre a busy, important guy (which you should be) and as such you cant always sit down and text. Also this keeps the conversation from getting stale. You go do other things before the conversation drops off and it allows your next interaction to be more positive.

Its been 2 days now. You start up a conversation. "Hey did you hear about xyz and the blah blah it was so cool / whats up with you" and she short answers you. Her: "Yeah. lol" You: "Yeah it was crazy. good stuff. insert next topic here." her: "haha yeahhh" you: "Lol not a morning person are ya. Get some coffee in ya and I'll talk to you later - I have to run!" You are not obligated to say what youre about to go do. You're busy and you have shit to do, simple as that.

To add to this more - you're calling her out. In a nice way. You're pointing out the elephant in the room. The elephant is that she's being weird... and, you're about to be the weird one if you don't acknowledge that she's being weird, because trying to make something work and ignoring the elephant is in fact weird. It took me awhile to realize this. But the other thing to keep in mind, is you should generally assume everything (you and her, the interaction) is cool. You don't want to be that guy who asks her a million questions and worries. "omg was it something I said? did I insult you? Why are you ignoring me? ARE you ignoring me?? omg I like you so much youre really cute" Don't ever say any of that crap. Or I will come through this screen and slap you.

Happy to help. We can talk dynamics and such.

I sent her a screenshot of some reviews for the movie "it" a full day before this first screenshot's time. Also, she doesn't have notifications on for this app, so she doesn't get notified when people msg her.

[img][Image: gv8AR2Z.png?1][/img]
[img][Image: MFdth9m.png?1][/img]
[img][Image: 9Ht1Kj8.png?1][/img]
[Image: FqoN3l3.png?1]
[Image: 3raQHb8.png?1]
[Image: XDAzwTc.png?1]
[Image: VgZeZ5U.png?1]
[Image: ahMgT0G.png?1] ...(as in saw the movie "it")
[Image: hWoblsp.png?1]
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09-11-2017, 11:30 AM (This post was last modified: 09-11-2017 11:49 AM by Ars0n1sT.)
Post: #7
RE: text exchange question..
Ok cool so you have a good connection with her. Her sudden Lol's seem out of place, as you mentioned. A guess here... she wanted weed. Perhaps you lost her with your interest in psychedelics, merely speculation though. The fact is, the convo dropped off, and the ball is in her court.

My advice: do not send her any more texts until she responds to you.
You mentioned the app you're using she does not get notifications? Help me understand this. How do you know her? how long have you known her, been talking, what sparked the conversation in the first place, etc. I'm wondering why you have her on "this app" instead of using snapchat or texting her.

My advice, continued, until I get more info from you,
If you have her on any other social media, for example snapchat, take snaps of stuff that you are doing (send to your story, not to her) and bonus points if you take snaps with your buddies showing that you have a fun social life and are a fun person who is busy doing fun things. Make her see this. Of course, do not talk about it...don;t say her did you see my story / my instagram / whatever... just post things and allow her to see it. Instagram works too.

When she does finally reply, act like there was never a break. Everything is still cool and congruent, and not talking to someone for a few days is normal. People get busy, things come up, its normal unless youre in an official relationship. In other words, shes not your girlfriend so its unrealistic to expect her to text you all the time / for her to always text you. Allow her to see that you are not needy. Do not make the mistake of being arrogant. Yes, you have stuff going on, but also you are interested in her so it would be weird to pretend like you don't want her attention at all if that makes sense. I'm happy to go into more detail on topics of interest for you. Thumbsup

23. ENTP.
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09-11-2017, 12:28 PM (This post was last modified: 09-11-2017 12:31 PM by dissonance.)
Post: #8
RE: text exchange question..
We met on this app few weeks ago. I don't have her added on anything other than this app. She had a "whisper" (anonymous public text image) saying "someone dab or smoke with me." So I private messaged her and said "anyone?" she said "are you chill and not a weirdo?", etc.

I haven't asked to add her on snapchat or anything else yet because I got the vibe she is being very careful with me, since you know this is an anonymous chat sort of app, not like tinder or something. Also, she has a boyfriend and i don't want to make it seem like im tryin to like force myself into her life and push our acquaintance too fast to try to meet with her and steal her from him or cause drama in her life, so i didn't ask for her social media or phone number yet.

I mentioned to her a couple times so far that i am trying to meet new people and friends, i never mentioned dating. So im just trying to act cool and show a non-agenda vibe, and just maybe create a friendship with her, and meet with her in person sometime, and let it hit it off from there.

Two really good psychics confirmed that she is unhappy though with her boyfriend, and she would be open to a friendship then relationship with me, and that she is currently just trying to figure me out or get to know me better, etc.

Yeah, at this point after asking her if she likes psychedelics, i'm just going to wait for her to respond and respond like a few hours after she responds as well.

In my mind, I was thinking maybe she is doing this short answer thing after she said the "you're freaking cool" message, to sort of confuse or test me and see how i react, see if I get all mad or message her a bunch of times in reaction to her suddenly going cold-ish. Because, if I did react with an overly invested vibe, even after knowing the fact she has a boyfriend, then that means I'm a bit iffy, right? I'm not sure exactly how to word the subtext of me reacting like that would be.. what do you think it would indicate to her?

Anyways, yeah I'm going to try to show similar levels of investment as she is with these short texts, and let her do the next msg after that last msg i sent her.
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09-11-2017, 12:45 PM
Post: #9
RE: text exchange question..
It doesnt take a psychic to confirm a girl is not happy with her boyfriend lol. You're on the right track here. Get to know her as a friend, have a non-agenda, maybe you'll meet up sometime. She thinks you're chill so if you keep that vibe then theres a good chance things will circle around toward a meet up. "No I've never tried psychedelics!" "Omg you'll love it. I recommend starting with a microdose. I always have some on hand." Keep it cool. You're around and she knows this. Become someone who craves her attention and she'll pick up on this (so don't do that). The nature of the app makes the interaction a bit odd but you have two possible ins: having weed / introducing her to psychedelics. Due to the anonymous nature of the app, I would suggest not asking about her number / other social media as to not seem like you're desperate to meet. The anonymous things makes it even more normal to not speak for a few days. I still stand by my other advice, keep it cool, she'll come around. Or if she doesn't, then hey... more where that came from. Sounds like you're on the right track: I'm not saying anything you don't already know Smile

23. ENTP.
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09-11-2017, 01:07 PM
Post: #10
RE: text exchange question..
Awesome dude thanks for the input. Yeah true hopefully she comes around! I'll update this as things go along.
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09-11-2017, 01:13 PM
Post: #11
RE: text exchange question..
It could be that she is just trying to get weed for free from guys. A girl asking if you have weed or alcohol or wants anything from you besides your attention could be trying to profit from you.
That's one possibility.

The totally convinced and the totally stupid have too much in common for the resemblance to be accidental.
Only the madman is absolutely sure. Robert Anton Wilson
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09-11-2017, 01:24 PM
Post: #12
RE: text exchange question..
Yeah It's a possibility, but if you read our entire history of chats since we "met" few weeks ago, I'd highly doubt that she had such an ulterior motive. Tongue
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09-11-2017, 03:06 PM (This post was last modified: 09-11-2017 03:07 PM by dissonance.)
Post: #13
RE: text exchange question..
Okay she responded. I decided to just respond 1 minute later cuz i had a gut feeling she wanted to have a back-n-forth exchange there, and I was right. Here's the screenshots:

[Image: h6QJllP.png?1]
[Image: KduVfFC.png?1]
[Image: oSXgSfV.png?1]
[Image: 6oKAE6h.png?1]
[Image: EflXX2S.png?1]

That's it so far. Hopefully she messages me later tellin me how she liked the movie.

That'd be a good sign of progress and investment from her.
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09-11-2017, 03:29 PM (This post was last modified: 09-11-2017 03:29 PM by RTBoss.)
Post: #14
RE: text exchange question..
How does this girl see so many movies and NOT KNOW who Tom Hardy is!?

::sigh::

Anyway.

So I wonder if she was sayin' "Down boy!" or "I'm down!" for the 3some w/ Daniel Craig? I assume the former.

Guess you need to get together with this chick, 420 and chill. She likes movies, obviously.

Also shocked to see people still say "hella." Haha.
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09-11-2017, 04:45 PM
Post: #15
RE: text exchange question..
yeah i know right lol. (to both tom hardy comment and "hella" comment).

I thought she meant the later, as in "I'm down!"
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09-11-2017, 08:20 PM
Post: #16
RE: text exchange question..
Just some constructive criticism. Ask less questions. The 20 question game is a sucky trap to get in. We dont know what to say so we ask questions. When a girl wont stop asking me questions I know I've got her on the hook, just saying Smile Anyway, she's still short answering you... and tbh its not an awesome conversation. I would lay low for a little while and let her wonder what you're up to. Perhaps a "Hey I'm super busy this week but hit me up sometime to smoke" has worked for me in the past. Texting sucks.

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09-12-2017, 12:15 AM (This post was last modified: 09-12-2017 08:10 AM by dissonance.)
Post: #17
RE: text exchange question..
(09-11-2017 08:20 PM)Arsenic Wrote:  Just some constructive criticism. Ask less questions. The 20 question game is a sucky trap to get in. We dont know what to say so we ask questions. When a girl wont stop asking me questions I know I've got her on the hook, just saying Smile Anyway, she's still short answering you... and tbh its not an awesome conversation. I would lay low for a little while and let her wonder what you're up to. Perhaps a "Hey I'm super busy this week but hit me up sometime to smoke" has worked for me in the past. Texting sucks.

What're some places in that last post of screenshots i put where you were thinking a statement could replace the question? Or other examples

But yeah she was kind of short answering, but I don't think it was on purpose in this convo. She was almost insta-replying, even when I was taking a minute or two to reply; which means she had notifications back on while talking to me, or she was keeping her eye right on the chat window almost always. I got the vibe she was into the convo and liked it.

Also, in our situation it's less of a pick-up or daygame or anything in that world, so I feel like those "guidelines" or rules about not asking too many questions applies a bit less, kinda like you said before. I agree though some of those questions were a bit superfluous, probably could have added some more emotionally striking or interesting statement type msgs rather than questions for some of those. Also, how do you get someone to invest more, and ask questions of their own? Or is that sort of out of your control, and just depends on how much they are into you?

Overall though, I think were just feeling each other out getting to know each other with no expectations, and we both know were gonna be on whisper checking our messages occasionally, and it's not even texting, its just messaging each other on Whisper app, as like a side thing to do between our main everyday lives.

I would totally already have asked to meet up if this was actual text messaging but I feel like I need to take it pretty slow and gradual with this girl, since she has a boyfriend and this isn't a dating app, and were basically keeping in touch as like a small for-fun side chat and just gradually get to know each other more and see where things go and how we feel about each other.

What're your thoughts?
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09-12-2017, 06:46 PM (This post was last modified: 09-12-2017 06:46 PM by dissonance.)
Post: #18
RE: text exchange question..
You kno what I realized... when she said "you got weed?" ...that meant she was down to chill LMAO. So i can basically ask her anytime to chill at this point.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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