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How to Give up Addictions
08-03-2017, 01:33 AM (This post was last modified: 11-11-2017 05:41 AM by Spareness.)
Post: #1
How to Give up Addictions
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[*]https://goo.gl/tkakbZ
[*]https://goo.gl/3EnzEv
[*]https://goo.gl/hLkLA7
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Hope it help!

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” ― Confucious “If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” ― Bruce Lee
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Have at ye, Zane
08-04-2017, 12:04 PM
Post: #2
RE: How to Give up Addictions
Liking the one on smoking. Very much true, as far as I can tell.
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08-09-2017, 01:01 AM
Post: #3
RE: How to Give up Addictions
(08-04-2017 12:04 PM)Have at ye Wrote:  Liking the one on smoking. Very much true, as far as I can tell.

Agreed, when I was researching the psychology behind addiction, I had trouble connecting the dots. Then I found the article, the explanation of addiction in the article is the best explanation I've ever found and how to stop it. I think it can be used to stop procrastination.

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” ― Confucious “If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” ― Bruce Lee
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08-10-2017, 12:24 AM
Post: #4
RE: How to Give up Addictions
Thanks for the NoFap link.. Those are some great posts and makes me think what I really want from life

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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08-10-2017, 05:15 AM
Post: #5
RE: How to Give up Addictions
The wwy to give up an addiction is to gain new positive ones. Nature abhors a vaccums therefore a new addiction must replace the old.
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08-10-2017, 04:16 PM
Post: #6
RE: How to Give up Addictions
Quote:The wwy to give up an addiction is to gain new positive ones. Nature abhors a vaccums therefore a new addiction must replace the old.

It's not really that simple. It can help like if you're dealing with food cravings then do something relaxing like go for a walk, but it also has to be combined with dealing with the emotions and subconscious mind for best results.

Just replacing it isn't dealing with the real issue of why you have that coping mechanism.
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Have at ye, Zane, eternity, rayrocanaldo
10-07-2017, 08:02 PM
Post: #7
RE: How to Give up Addictions
(08-10-2017 12:24 AM)Zane Wrote:  Thanks for the NoFap link.. Those are some great posts and makes me think what I really want from life

Glad that helped you, my friend!

Now is the time to start fighting for what you want. Do not wait until the super power of 90 days nofap comes, because... you already have the power to take full responsibility, to trust yourself no matter how impossible it seems no matter what anyone else think, to make decision, to have the will to sacrifice and to work hard to get what you want and never give up until you get it.


“We all have great inner power. The power is self-faith. There’s really an attitude to winning. You have to see yourself winning before you win. And you have to be hungry. You have to want to conquer.”

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”

-Arnold S


Happy fighting! Smile

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” ― Confucious “If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” ― Bruce Lee
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10-07-2017, 09:25 PM (This post was last modified: 11-11-2017 05:42 AM by Spareness.)
Post: #8
RE: How to Give up Addictions
(08-10-2017 04:16 PM)Benjamin Wrote:  
Quote:The wwy to give up an addiction is to gain new positive ones. Nature abhors a vaccums therefore a new addiction must replace the old.

It's not really that simple. It can help like if you're dealing with food cravings then do something relaxing like go for a walk, but it also has to be combined with dealing with the emotions and subconscious mind for best results.

Just replacing it isn't dealing with the real issue of why you have that coping mechanism.

Yes, overcoming addiction is more than just replacing old ones (I'm referring to the habit) with something positive. In fact and more precisely, the bad habits is only a symptom of the addiction itself (the root cause).

Someone may be able to replace bad habits such as fapping, watching porn, coffee, etc with other positive habits. But it will only overcome the symptoms (the bad habits) alone, not the root of the problem (the addiction). The addiction will manifest itself in other way.

If someone wants to address the root of the problem, (the addiction itself, not just the bad habits) which is a bad program in the subconscious mind, the person need to replace the old bad subconscious mind program as described in the article.

Also I will share a few things:

How To Change Habits

the result of my research from:
Quote:https://goo.gl/AjZbFG
note: I have not finished editing the result.

Keep it simple:
  1. Write down what habit you're going to change and your plan.
  2. Identify your triggers and replacement habits.
  3. Focus on doing the replacement habits every single time the triggers happen, for at least 30 day.
  4. Log your progress.
The Habit Change Cheatsheet:
  1. Do just one habit at a time. Extremely important. Habit change is difficult, even with just one habit. If you do more than one habit at a time, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Allow yourself to focus, and give yourself the best chance for success.
  2. For at least one month, focus entirely on being as consistent with your triggers as possible. In my experience, it takes about 4-6 weeks to change a habit. This is a round number and will vary from person to person and habit to habit. The more consistent you are, the better the habit will form. If you sometimes do the new habit when the trigger occurs, and sometimes don’t, the new habit won’t form very well. Try to do it every single time. If for some reason you fail, extend the one-month period and try to be very consistent from that point onward. You can move on when you don’t have to consciously do the change — you automatically do it. It’ll take a couple more months of repetition before it becomes really automatic, probably, but if you don’t really need to remind yourself, but just go to do the habit right after your trigger, it’s starting to become a part of your routine. At this point, you can start a new habit, as long as you’re keeping an eye on maintaining the first one.
  3. Start small. The smaller the better, and trying to take on too much is a recipe for disaster. Want to exercise? Start with just 5-10 minutes. Want to wake up earlier? Try just 10 minutes earlier for now. Cut back from 20 cigarettes to 15, then 10, then 5, then zero. If you do this a week at a time, it won’t seem so difficult, and you might have a better chance of succeeding.
  4. Write it down. Just saying you’re going to change the habit is not enough of a commitment. Write what habit you’re going to change.
  5. Make a plan. This will ensure you’re really prepared. The plan should include your reasons (motivations) for changing, obstacles, triggers, and other ways you’re going to make this a success.
    1. Know your motivations, and be sure they’re strong. You have to be very clear why you’re doing this, and the benefits of doing it need to be clear in your head.
    2. Write down all your obstacles. If you’ve tried this habit change before, you’ve likely failed. Write down every obstacle that’s happened to you, and others that are likely to happen. Then write down how you plan to overcome them.
    3. Identify your triggers. What situations trigger your current habit? For the smoking habit, for example, triggers might include waking in the morning, having coffee, drinking alcohol, stressful meetings, going out with friends, driving, etc. Most habits have multiple triggers. Identify all of them and write them in your plan.
  6. Do the new habit each time the trigger happens. This will take a lot of conscious effort — be very aware of when the trigger happens, and very aware of doing the new habit instead of the old automatic one.
  7. Log your progress.
  8. Be aware of your thinking. You have to watch your thoughts and realize when you’re making excuses for doing your old bad habit, or when you start feeling like giving up instead of sticking to your change. Don’t believe your rationalizations. The important thing is to realize when you’re having them, and push them out of your head. Then replace them with a positive thought.
  9. Don’t give yourself exceptions. For smoking, I had an acronym, N.O.P.E. (Not One Puff Ever). It meant that I should never give in to the rationalization that one puff wouldn’t hurt. It does hurt, because it leads to a second, then a third. Don’t give in to this rationalization. Be vigilant.
  10. Beat the urge to do the old habit. Watch the urges, and delay. You will get urges to do your bad habit, when the triggers happen. These urges are dangerous if you just act on them without thinking. Learn to recognize them as they happen, and just sit there watch the urge rise and get stronger, and then and fall. Delay yourself, if you really want to act on the urge.
  11. Learn from mistakes. We all mess up sometimes — if you do, be forgiving, and don’t let one mistake derail you. See what happened, accept it, figure out a better plan for next time. Write this on your Quit Plan. Your plan will get better and better as you continually improve it. In this way, mistakes are helping you improve the method.
  12. Get rest. Being tired leaves us vulnerable to relapse. Get a lot of rest so you can have the energy to overcome urges.
  13. Drink lots of water. Being dehydrated leaves us open to failure.
  14. Enjoy the new habit. You’ll stick with it longer if you do.

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” ― Confucious “If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” ― Bruce Lee
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Benjamin, Determined, Tristian
10-29-2017, 06:13 AM
Post: #9
RE: How to Give up Addictions
I'll join this conversation.

I'm findingme, and have been running Universal Detox (UD) for over 2 months now. I'd done E2 for 6 months prior, as I found IML when looking for subliminals to counter shame.

I've been in 12 step rooms for over 20 years. Alcohol or drugs have never been thing, so I was in AlAnon for years, and am presently in Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA), which was my very first meeting in 1992. I still go to AA meetings sometimes, as I often hear what I'm looking for. I've often seen our motivations to run are the very same. That's my background.

For the present time, I'm seeing new things. UD came on steadily, exposing my lying to myself (fear-based). Even E2 did not give me such awarenesses. But my own denial of fear has won for decades. I went to meetings still seeking support to stay in my fears--this is what I did, but feeling worse and worse as time passed on.

Fear was my drug of choice. If you said "do THIS, and you'll feel better!", I'd quickly check to see if it derailed my fear ride. Most likely, I'd smile and agree, waiting to part so I could snuggle in my bed of fear. It was uncomfortable, but it was familiar. I knew it well, my family has modeled it, and new things were labelled as "dangerous", so I rarely did new things.

I didn't enjoy the conflict I felt with people who were growing, and if I did, I separated myself from them or the organizations which conflicted with me attaining my drug. And in truth, I hid NON-STOP. Isolation was my habit. Fear dug its heels in DEEP.

But can fear be compared with alcohol, drugs, porn, gambling, etc.? Am I on the same page?

I think so. Let me explain my understanding.

This last week I was reading in my ACA reader, and the day's subject was the "inner drug store". The first paragraph stated:

"Do the following situations sound familiar? We walk into a room full of strangers and instinctively find the most toxic people to befriend. We leave home with "just enough" time so our adrenaline is pumping when we arrive at our destination. We over-commit ourselves so that we can't possibly do everything we promised, and then shame ourselves because we've failed yet again."

The cycle is excitement (fear), pain, and shame. I've done this time, time, and time again. Showing up late for meetings or work. Putting 10 things on my to-do list when I can realistically do 4. I commit to something big, like a graduate degree, training for a new position at work, or investing for a good return (I've done all). Next, I..........screw it up. I stopped grad school my first week. I've not trained for a position yet (been there 2 years), and I've not saved enough deposit money repeatedly, so I'm forced to pay the broker more before withdrawing--no payouts resulted.

I then feel pain since I've not completed my goals, any of them.

I then turn to shaming or belittling myself. I hide more, fearing exposure, imagining exposure.

BUT WAIT!! I can do (something BIG!.....again). I return to the first thing I did: excitement, which is fear in disguise. I do the same thing, in different ways.

Fear, pain, shame. That's the inner drug store, and I've seen both clean and active addicts and alcoholics using the same mindset. I've gone in this loop hundreds and hundreds of times.

UD is helping me be honest. I've been sharing these awarenesses in meetings, here in my journal, and with safe people in my life.

But each addiction has its own issues and requirements. Lying has been mine, so I'm telling on myself more. Drugs have a physical component, and I've been in NA meetings where people were 1 or 2 weeks clean, and they were jonesing for relief. Finding things to replace the old drugs is an ongoing journey to those on it, as I'm still finding my own. But talking and writing about it is part of my healing journey.

Fear was the base of all my actions. And UD is healing me. I know I've been in some resistance this last week, me skipping listening one night, but coming back here I read other's stories, and I'm encouraged. I am NOT alone, whatever the drug of choice is.
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10-31-2017, 10:18 PM
Post: #10
RE: How to Give up Addictions
I quit smoking cold turkey after a month. It just wasn't for me.

"We are incapable of designing and building a mosquito, let alone all the species and most of the other things in the universe. So I start from the premise that nature is smarter than I am and try to let nature teach me how reality works." - Ray Dalio
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11-01-2017, 10:13 AM
Post: #11
RE: How to Give up Addictions
(08-10-2017 04:16 PM)Benjamin Wrote:  
Quote:The wwy to give up an addiction is to gain new positive ones. Nature abhors a vaccums therefore a new addiction must replace the old.

It's not really that simple. It can help like if you're dealing with food cravings then do something relaxing like go for a walk, but it also has to be combined with dealing with the emotions and subconscious mind for best results.

Just replacing it isn't dealing with the real issue of why you have that coping mechanism.

I agree with you.
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