RainbowAbyssAlpha

[RainbowAbyss]

Hey, just an update
My speakers broke and I couldn't get
new ones until a week ago, but in total
this is my third week on And Alpha stage one.
I honestly cant tell what is going on.
While I do have a new drive inside time
its seems to be pushing nowhere,
I have become very antisocial
apathetic and at times depressed.
I wanna cry and scream but at the same times am
emotionally detached. I am enjoying a new self
comfort and subtle confidence but I feel almost
invisible at times and very unable to do anything. My sense with woman
is in the garbage, I feel arrogant and at the same time needy, despite having one incredible night of success where it was pure freedom but I use to get those fairly consistently before I started subs. Anyway I feel like this sub is wrecking me, while I am already much more indifferent its not a happy carefree, in fact I don't really care about anything except sex, a little bit, my life has become boring, irritated, disastisfied and full of craving with hopelessness, I now this is very negative but I don't know what to do, do I pummel through this, how long does this last? I rarely experienced any of this before starting this sub. Is this all my negativity coming up, or responses to my life based on the sub? I felt 1000X better on WM, and the 'holes' I had on it in retrospect seemed to be normal responses to such a quick change in reality. In fact before any subs, I felt really good about my life, I did things from my own intentions and was very Alpha and indifferent about woman in general, the prospect of a new lifestyle which included woman and intimacy seemed to become what felt right which was why I chose WM. I couldn't feel further away from love or intimacy with myself or woman right now and I feel no energy to change anything. At the same time I have this dissatisfied drive pulling in my chest. Is this just an intense phase that I'll look back on and think it was worth it or is this is the theme of Alpha until a couple months in-me against the world, disconnection, anger, could give less sh-t attitude? I understand why going through this could be so healing but it sucks. Alright Is this just an intense phase that I'll look back on and think it was worth it or is this is the theme of Alpha until a couple months in-me against the world, disconnection, anger, could give less sh-t attitude? On the positive side, I have been much more comfortable socially with zero anxiety, almost cause I am so bored and feel like things would go nowhere that it doesn't matter around anybody and have been leading both conversations and interactions. Anyway input would be much appreciated-

[Ryan]

Rainbow, I know how you feel man, right now this is the lowest of low for me. Honestly, the Alpha Male program isn't going to easy to begin because you have a lot of obstacles in the way. It will clear them out pretty quickly and in no time you will be an Alpha Male. It's reported that the beginning of stage 4 is when things really begin to 'click'. Keep pushing and add in another subliminal if it helps with motivation.

[ronatello]

The first 2 or 3 weeks felt weird to me too. Lots of mood swings, feelings of detachment / disconnect, and wanting to keep to myself. I felt very "drained" and felt like I was in a fog throughout stage 1. The fogginess feels like it's lifting now, and I feel a bit more confident day by day.
But in some strange way, socializing felt easier when the opportunity came up. Go through and read others alpha journeys and most have went through the same experiences. It will pass. I've been battling moodiness in my alpha journey as well.
Stage 3 from what I hear is pretty hardcore so I have to go through that starting on the 27th of Oct.
All in all, I have no regrets doing this at all.

[RainbowAbyss]

Thanks guys its really good to hear u guys say this,
I just feel like I have been postponing being 'ok'
in my life for the sake of "fixing" myself for so long
but whats 6 more months!
I just almost feel bad for my family and
they think I'm a depressed lazy failure who cant do anything
They cant differentiate me in my whole life from the me they are currently experiencing
I told them about the subs but they think its just an excuse.
If I had time alone to deal it would be more manageable but I have a lot of people
expecting a lot out of me and the moment I stop caring is the moment they get mad

[Ryan]

The way I look at it, after 4 months it gets better, you'll never have to revisit this time again in your life, you'll be 10000x stronger and it only gets better from then on out, especially if you use Woman Magnet. Then all it is is maintenance/strengthening for the next couple of years. Taking a few months out of your life to make it better forever is well worth it.

[ManOfElectricity]

I went through a lot of the same things you are going through and I still go through some tough times. I have no idea what is in the script but at times it feels like it's rebuilding as a man from the ground up, it's great in the long run but I feel like walls are being knocked down and the foundation is being redone.

I think it's normal but it is also tough at times. I've gotten through it by taking it easy, not pushing myself too hard and getting out and having fun when I can. Also being round people that are supportive really helped. Not only can they be there emotionally but they can also give you feedback, like you might think that nothing has changed but somebody will point out to you that you are a lot stronger then you were a couple months ago. Other times you might notice it yourself when you do something awesome that you didn't expect or didn't know that you were capable of.

Like Ryan says, you'll likely never have to go through this again. I imagine the Alpha set will make all the other subs you do later much more powerful, even the ones unrelated to relationships, i.e. wealth, exercise, etc cause you'll be an round much stronger person.

[ronatello]

@ Rainbowabyss: if they think that, GET AS FAR AWAY from them as possible. When Alpha Male gets fully ingrained, you will be the one with the last laugh. And also, what they are saying is a tactic to keep you at status quo.
Do the Alpha Male program and definitely document what's happening. BTW you are certainly NOT a failure because failures are the ones that do NOT take action to make things better in their lives but instead go about pulling others down to their level.
For a while, it's going to feel like you vs. the world. I get this at times and several others here have as well.

[Jay]

(10-17-2010 08:44 PM)RainbowAbyss Wrote:  Thanks guys its really good to hear u guys say this,
I just feel like I have been postponing being 'ok'
in my life for the sake of "fixing" myself for so long
but whats 6 more months!
I just almost feel bad for my family and
they think I'm a depressed lazy failure who cant do anything
They cant differentiate me in my whole life from the me they are currently experiencing
I told them about the subs but they think its just an excuse.
If I had time alone to deal it would be more manageable but I have a lot of people
expecting a lot out of me and the moment I stop caring is the moment they get mad

Those are your own thoughts. Then again even if it are their thoughts it's not relevant. The only thing that matters is that you value yourself, and think highly of yourself, and even if you're momentarily thinking you're being a "depressed lazy failure", it'll pass. It'll change. This isn't you as a person. It's not something you'll carry around for the rest of your life with you. Remember; Other people's thoughts have no value, unless you give it value (the same can be applied here lol).

The reason they get mad is simply because they're losing their grasp over you. Normally you would probably comply to what they said, and now that you're choosing for yourself it causes frustration and irritation from their side, and they're responding in the only way they know to. By becoming mad, and telling you're no good, so that they can get that sense of control over you again. In time they'll adjust to the new you, and if they're not willing just walk away, because they're not worth it. Some people will like you for who you are, and some don't. Care police.

If you don't do things for them, it doesn't automatically mean that you're worthless. It only means that you have preferences on what you're willing to do for them, or not.

In that same train of thought, don't make up excuses (even if it are valid ones), because they're not interested in them. They're only interested in getting back that sense of control that they had over you. And they will use your excuses against you to sabotage you, and probably even tell that you better stop using subs or that it doesn't do ****. Be selfish, and think for yourself. If they experience any problems with you, because you're working on yourself. Than it's their problem, not yours. If you want to be an extension of some one else's life, make sure to listen to them and do everything that they tell you, but don't expect them to be grateful for it.

[Supernova]

(10-17-2010 03:12 PM)RainbowAbyss Wrote:  Hey, just an update
My speakers broke and I couldn't get
new ones until a week ago, but in total
this is my third week on And Alpha stage one.
I honestly cant tell what is going on.
While I do have a new drive inside time
its seems to be pushing nowhere,
I have become very antisocial
apathetic and at times depressed.
I wanna cry and scream but at the same times am
emotionally detached. I am enjoying a new self
comfort and subtle confidence but I feel almost
invisible at times and very unable to do anything. My sense with woman
is in the garbage, I feel arrogant and at the same time needy, despite having one incredible night of success where it was pure freedom but I use to get those fairly consistently before I started subs. Anyway I feel like this sub is wrecking me, while I am already much more indifferent its not a happy carefree, in fact I don't really care about anything except sex, a little bit, my life has become boring, irritated, disastisfied and full of craving with hopelessness, I now this is very negative but I don't know what to do, do I pummel through this, how long does this last? I rarely experienced any of this before starting this sub. Is this all my negativity coming up, or responses to my life based on the sub? I felt 1000X better on WM, and the 'holes' I had on it in retrospect seemed to be normal responses to such a quick change in reality. In fact before any subs, I felt really good about my life, I did things from my own intentions and was very Alpha and indifferent about woman in general, the prospect of a new lifestyle which included woman and intimacy seemed to become what felt right which was why I chose WM. I couldn't feel further away from love or intimacy with myself or woman right now and I feel no energy to change anything. At the same time I have this dissatisfied drive pulling in my chest. Is this just an intense phase that I'll look back on and think it was worth it or is this is the theme of Alpha until a couple months in-me against the world, disconnection, anger, could give less sh-t attitude? I understand why going through this could be so healing but it sucks. Alright Is this just an intense phase that I'll look back on and think it was worth it or is this is the theme of Alpha until a couple months in-me against the world, disconnection, anger, could give less sh-t attitude? On the positive side, I have been much more comfortable socially with zero anxiety, almost cause I am so bored and feel like things would go nowhere that it doesn't matter around anybody and have been leading both conversations and interactions. Anyway input would be much appreciated-

I felt the same in stage 1, really moody, I got annoyed with things and people easily and had some anger. I'm a few days into stage 2 now and I feel a lot better. I still have down moments, but overall I definitely feel better than I did during stage 1. Although I do feel worse than I did before I started the Alpha Male sub.

I think the Alpha Male sub is one you've got to stick to for the long haul to see the results. I don't think it will be easy but I do think it will be worth it 5 months from now.

[ronatello]

This little motto shall do the trick: if the sub will bring you to it, it will bring you through it!
I'm seeing glimpses of things to come on down the line for me. Sit back and enjoy the ride!

[RainbowAbyss]

Thanks guys, this is all reassuring
even today was alot better
I experienced a kind of lightness that
inspires me to keep going
I'll keep u guys informed

[Shannon]

Rainbow, this program is designed as a six stage set for a reason. As I have said before, not only is it a massive script and a huge change, but it is creating the change by focusing in specific directions one step at a time. Each step is not the whole; the whole will be visible when all the steps are finished. It would be impossible to do this all at once.

So... each stage focuses on a specific target. In effect, it is focusing in such a way that it creates a sort of imbalance. The amount of change that can be accomplished limits what each stage can do, which is why the imbalance is necessary. Each stage balances the one before it while adding new material. That is half the reason all six stages are required in order; the other half is that the combined whole is only visible once all six stages have been completed.

As you change, you're going to get flack from people who are used to you being controllable, manipulate-able, and walk-all-over-able. The previous programming is going to clash with the new programming. Depending on how much disparity there is, it might be a smooth journey or it might be mighty uncomfortable. But keep going - no matter what. You deserve to be healthy. Growth isn't always easy, but the second stage gets easier and the third is easier still.

Keep on keeping on. You're getting results.

[RainbowAbyss]

Thanks Shannon
aint no way I'm quitting this way
things have really turned up
I cant believe how I was only a couple
weeks ago, I still have some aggression
but the apathy has bloomed into the sensation of whatever
happens-happens, I do feel a little imbalanced but I am now enjoying
the swing in the other direction. I also feel a huge release
as I really don't care NEARLY as much about validation from women
which despite my success in that arena was still subtly running my life it seems
It seems the light is strongest always following the dark times.
Anyway its not nearly over and I am super excited to see where this goes

[RainbowAbyss]

And the tide has turned again
I had a few days of carefree, sense of power, and bliss
and now I am very comfortable in any situation
but have hollow again, I feel depressed, angry, and like
I am very boring, bored, and bored with myself, I came an inch within
quitting my job today, and when a mom literally pushed me to move her stroller through
I almost punched her lol, I feel repellent and incapable haha
well I'll stick through it and see what happens

[Masterchief]

Sounds like you are in a retail environment. I am more in an office environment, and I felt like quitting my job in a major way, in the last days of stage 1. Stage 2 I'm getting little nudges, which aren't quite as dramatic.

Just put up with it dude. This could be catalyst, for you bettering yourself and moving up in life. I have worked in a DIY retail store. All I can say is I saw pond life with more intelligence, than some of the people I have dealt with.

[RainbowAbyss]

haha thanks man
no the mom was on the street
but I do teach kids

[RainbowAbyss]

I am going to go one more week stage one
cause I missed a few days when I went back to home coming
for college and I only got 5 hours of listening in some other nights
but as of now I am on a huge up-wave
the neediness dissipated and like I predicted I feel
more relaxed and indifferent in a great way. I am working
on projects I could never get myself to work on because I didn't
feel I had the personal qualifications to back it up but whats matters
now is getting it done more than anything else.
I feel really strong internally and more in control than ever
I care much less about socializing but when I do it is way easier and I find myself
more distinct but connecting way better as well as leading. I am taking more initiative,
MUCH more socially assertive, and with woman they
are responding in very natural feminine ways and I am not trying to stay in convo
at all. I am all around just generally feeling like a cool guy, I can def feel some imbalances
which can make for a sense of stalling out in my life or being a little off beat socially cause I am so just doing my owning thing, the former seems to work itself out and the later seems to be respectfully acknowledged rather than perceived as ackward

[RainbowAbyss]

Rainbow alpha report
the end of stage one was brutal
I was lodged up with my twin and mom
in a house in the middle of nowhere
felt my shadow unearthed and was so driven
yet couldn't do a darn thing about anything and become very frustrated and
depressed.
Stage two has been pure bliss so far.
I have been on in it for only three days but wow!
The biggest think about this stage and alpha so far is a sense of bigger perspective, I am becoming more and more in the moment and feeling it, yet more and more able to logically just view it and make the right moves.
So far depression has been wiped out (The last three days of stage one really worked that out of me it feels like). I am totally compelled to do what I love more and more and am doing it.
I feel very motivated and extremely confident, outcome detached but not just cause I don't give a shit about anything, I feel more humble in a way as well. I get moments of hang ups and and still have a no bs policy growing but it seems to be MUCH more tempered than stage one, where I almost couldn't help being deliberately confrontational. I feel like I didn't know what confidence really was until I started Alpha stage one, and now on stage 2 I'm like 'that was nothing compared to this', I can only imagine whats coming. I think stage two is really just getting me to do what I want and feel great about doing which is creating an upward spiral.I am basically really taking care of myself,
and also have a new sense of caring more about what I am actually doing. Woman are starting to chase me but in a very natural way, and I am more comfortable going after what I want. By the end of stage one I could have cared less about women, now I am interested again, slightly lol, but more as a take it as it happens where as in stage one I wanted to have nothing to do with it. The strangest think about this stage for me so far is that since I started it I have been crying a ton, its like a mixture of elation and grief, I am so happy and grateful and at the same time alot of crap is coming out.
Anyway I didn't think this was worth mentioningbefore but I am listening to the ultrasonic with headphones and have been for the past 5 weeks maybe more including my stint with WM, I enjoy it more and find it works better for me. I heard it might be a no no but it seems to be doing me fine.

[Spiral]

Rainbow, The headphones from my understanding are fine but make sure you balance it with the masked and then turn the volume down a little more. And just as long as you don't get headaches ur fine.

And I've gone through alot of the same stuff you have. I think in stage 1 I was somewhat needy and anxiety was coming up. when I started stage two I had no desire or care for women really but I still enjoy interacting with them. I had a week hiatus kind of.. so I started over with stage two and the neediness has creeped up again but during that week of little exposure everything opened up even more so I can see what kind of potential I have and where I will be real soon. It's pretty awesome.. also keeping eye contact really helps me stay in the moment.. and If I'm nervous that's hard to control sometimes but it seems like confronting it and just fighting through it has worked for me. I'm glad to see your good progress. I'm also doing wild stuff now as well to get through whatever hang ups I have. I've been going into grocery stores doin my thing with a low v cut neck... and I have a mane of chest hair and everyone checks it out lol. Before this would have been crazy for me to do but the other day I was feeling that way and said "it doesnt even matter". Kind of like that Linkin Park song.

[ronatello]

Quote: I'm also doing wild stuff now as well to get through whatever hang ups I have. I've been going into grocery stores doin my thing with a low v cut neck... and I have a mane of chest hair and everyone checks it out lol. Before this would have been crazy for me to do but the other day I was feeling that way and said "it doesnt even matter". Kind of like that Linkin Park song.

Awesome! And always remember it all goes back to self confidence. A person that has a good amount of self confidence can pull something like this off easily. And also, a sexually desirable and confident man isn't afraid to show off his bod. Hmm... good for a visualization affirmation I suppose. Dress like that and walk like you own the store and have the beautiful women salivate when they see you.