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SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
09-17-2017, 10:54 AM
Post: #41
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
(09-17-2017 10:28 AM)Adrien Silva Wrote:  
(09-15-2017 04:38 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote:  Lately been noticing people are super defensive towards me.

Here's a convo from OKC I had with a girl today to show you what I mean:

Today - 11:16am
Me: Hey [name], just thought I'd say hi!
Today - 4:42pm
Her: Your two photos are hilarious- what made you add the side shot in?
Me: Thanks. I wanted to practice my mug shots. So how's your day going?
Her: Omg it was so challenging!! How was your day?
Me: Mines good so far. Why challenging?
Today - 5:43pm
Her: I am a caseworker with Children's Services- so I'm hoping you can imagine why challenging
Today - 7:08pm
Me: Yeah, now I can. Must be tough. How do you separate work from your personal life?

I get nothing online.

Maybe your pics are bad...

This girl is actually still talking to me. She seemed to cool down after that outburst. We'll see if she makes the cut. Smile

ION, getting better at sales. Back to some things I forgot about and man are people paying attention to me now.

Still feels like work, though.

I intend to approach and talk to more girls from now on. getting into a "do or die" mentality HOWEVER I've noticed a problem with that:

If I only get this kind of results when I'm near broke and near homelessness, I can't forsee myself getting into a better position.

I'd like to have this same kind of motivation and effectiveness no matter how much money I make nor how many girls I get with.
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Travis
09-17-2017, 09:00 PM
Post: #42
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
I'm getting hyper-aware of things now.

Just remembered a sales call today where the guy asked me if the van parked across the street was mine.

Me: "No."

Him: "Oh, cause I was gonna say it's pretty sweet."

Me: *looking at it* "Yeah, it is."

The thing is: It's probably his neighbors van. Like seriously, wtf? Why did he ask that?
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09-18-2017, 11:00 AM
Post: #43
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
Everyone is busy these days.

Last year seemed like everyone wasn't busy. What does this mean?

Also, talked with a girl at a mall. She worked there and was helping me with my book.

I asked her if she'd read it, she said yes but it was long time ago. She then said t
"That's a nice cover"

And I said "thanks"

Lol, wtf? Yet another example of fing up a convo. ><
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09-18-2017, 01:23 PM (This post was last modified: 09-18-2017 01:56 PM by SargeMaximus.)
Post: #44
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
Reading more about pick up. Some good stuff about how when girls giggle or joke it's usually in response to sexual tension and is a good sign.

I still don't believe it but I guess I'd better get on board.

Also, girls not wanting to be around you may indicate sexual tension is too high for her to handle.

DMSI aura, no doubt.

EDIT: Scratch that, girls not wanting to be around you is a strong IOD.
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09-18-2017, 04:21 PM (This post was last modified: 09-18-2017 04:22 PM by SargeMaximus.)
Post: #45
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
Random thought today:

You gotta convince and persuade people without convincing or persuading them. :o

Also, seems that online girl fell through. And now all is silent after sending out a blitz of messages.

Weird.
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09-18-2017, 04:23 PM
Post: #46
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
It's more like

"you can bring a horse to the water but you cant make them drink it. But you can tell them how Damm thirsty they are"

E2 Start Date: March 6th 2016
E2 End Date: November 1st 2017

UD Start Date: November 1st 2017
UD End date: July 1st 2019

INTJ 4w5

Plan: E1>E2>UD>AM7
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09-18-2017, 04:26 PM
Post: #47
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
(09-18-2017 04:23 PM)Daredevil Wrote:  It's more like

"you can bring a horse to the water but you cant make them drink it. But you can tell them how Damm thirsty they are"

Yeah well at this point I'm back to focusing on fundamentals so social calibration, stuff like that.
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Daredevil
09-18-2017, 08:43 PM (This post was last modified: 09-18-2017 10:55 PM by SargeMaximus.)
Post: #48
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
Just got back from the gym. A few looks from girls but nothing extraordinary.

I miss the butt displays of yesterday (and by "yesterday" I mean: days past. Last one I had was a few days ago but it seems like an eternity Sad ). *tear*

Anyhow, other than that brother seems trying to bond with me more.

Wish I knew how to bond. Feel like I'm dropping every single ball he's throwing my way. :/

EDIT: And then after the gym, convo with the brother was much better. Lots of laughs from him, tho I think I'm starting to notice different kinds of laughter. I could always kinda tell between fake laughter and genuine, but maybe now I'm starting to know what each different kind means.

Not aware of what makes him laugh, but when in the flow of things it's easy.

I wonder if this is the NSFM modules. Obviously I'm not talking about seducing my brother! I just mean that it flows so well, and it reminded me of the first time I was like that with my hairdresser. Need more of this.

I'm starting to think 3.1 just isn't powerful enough. I get subtle clues about what works and what doesn't but it's so subtle and fleeting that it can't be relied on. Need more glaring, "can't-ignore-it", obvious distinctions between what works and what doesn't, and then we also need modules to help us lock in what works and stop doing what doesn't.

EDIT 2: A few more notables:

- People enjoy talking to me more. Several hands were shook today at the conclusion of convos.
- Brother seemed disappointed when i left for the gym, like he didn't want me to go so abruptly or something.
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09-19-2017, 08:17 AM
Post: #49
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
VERY enlightening article about why too much masculinity leads to reduced attraction:

http://www.girlschase.com/content/lovers...men-or-men
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09-19-2017, 09:07 AM (This post was last modified: 09-19-2017 09:11 PM by SargeMaximus.)
Post: #50
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
DMSI Notables (will update throughout the day):

- Gilf gave blatant crotch stare. I was too stunned to say anything. We were passing each other.
- Milf in a store I was at got sexy. acting all flirty. There were many other people in the place and she wasn't the one helping me (she was helping someone else) but she came over to talk to my cashier for a second. She smiled at everyone but I thought maybe it was me. No way to know for sure unfortunately.
- While walking along the sidewalk a petite but very curvy/tight woman is stocking the post boxes. She works for the post office.

There's her van to my left, her to my right, and just enough room between them for me to squeeze by.

I say "Woops! Look out!" she turns, looks at me, looks back into the post office and exclaims in a very cheerful voice "HI! How are YOU?!"

as i squeak past with my crotch facing her lovely butt and me staring at it I say "I;m good, how are you?"

she says "I'm good, thank you for asking!"

and I keep walking.

- From a journal on Pherotruth: "Women just needed to be around me and sex was how they could insure I would allow them the one on one time with me and guys thought everything went better when I was around like I was the office good luck charm."

THAT is what I'd like DMSI to accomplish.

EDIT:

- Just got back from the gym (11pm). Lots of hot girls around. Noticed a few semi-hovers or maybe they were just coiuncidentally using machines/exercises near me.

- One girl was doing leg curls next to me. I took note of her back how it moved with each movement of her leg as if she were riding cowgirl. As soon as that entered my mind, she whipped her head back, sending her hair flying as if she let out a scream in orgasm. But it was all silent.

- I'm studying "PIMP" by Julien again because I need to start interacting with girls. These small "hello's" and hi's aren't enough. Plus, all these girls near me in the gym and I can't even say anything. :/

- Another thing I've noticed ion the gym, girls will come near me and when I don't make a move, it almost always turns out they are there with some guy. I find that interesting. It's happened 3 times at least, 2 in the last 2 days. I know that's not a lot but it struck me as odd. I've never known girls who were working out with guys to stray far from them.
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09-20-2017, 08:55 PM
Post: #51
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
So, couple things to note.

Today I didn't work. It was my day off. Spent the time cleaning, going over Pick Up materials, and reading "How to be An Alpha Male".

Man, I'm doing EVERYTHING wrong, as usual lol.

I have it in e-book but I decided to buy it in paperback because I want to be able to highlight things, and skip to places quickly. It should arrive in a few weeks.

Anyhow, because of that book (and other things) I'm REALLY tempted to just say "F*ck it" WRT DMSI, and do AM 6 instead for a 5th run.

Not sure what else to do.

I've just been unable to get ANY traction in my life. everytime things are going good, something happens to f*ck everything up. Sometimes it's me, other times (like this year in sales with that new bylaw making it nearly impossible to pitch our product door to door) it's outside my control. And then I'm either back to square one or BELOW where I was before.

It's a seriously scary trend.

Near as I can tell the problem either lies in my social skills and inability to form lasting bonds, and/or being too much of a people pleaser nice guy. Which I never thought I was till reading that book.

Another thing: reading that book brings the contradictions into awareness like "don't do things for women, make them EARN it" and then on the next page it tells you how to dress to impress women. So f*ck.

Anyhow, the only thing keeping me on DMSI is the small glimpses of hope I keep seeing.

Just tonight my brother informed me that a movie from one of our favorite director's is out and so he's going to get us free movie passes cause he works at the theatre. I picked the time and he was down for it.

Things like that.

Also, my cousin phoned me the other day saying he may be returning to the city after living in another one for a few months.

Then there are the looks I'm getting from women, and stuff.

But it's all too little. Not useful in a grand-schema.

I know every little bit adds up but I'm nearing the end of my contract at work and I need to get some cash going.

This year has been an utter disappointment in that regard.

Again, mostly because of that new legislation, but also because, for whatever reason, my apps are not being sold. So no commission.

So yeah, some major negatives sprinkled with some nice positives but seriously, using subs should knock my life to the next level, not continue on a morphine drip.

Anyhow, despite all that, I feel quite calm, which also has me worried because if I don't fight for my spot, I may drop off altogether.

Or maybe that's the wrong way to look at things.

Who knows.

Anyhow, went to the gym today, noticed a few girls. One of them laughing at what a guy was saying to her. she left with him.

IOI's are either too normal i don't notice them anymore or they weren't there tonight.
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09-21-2017, 09:28 AM
Post: #52
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
Did some errands this morning.

First I stopped at a gas station.

I've been there before and the girl always seemed to like me but today she was neutral faced, barely acknowledging me. When I said "Hi, how are you?" she didn't say anything, just maintained EC. She's not my type but the behavior change was of note to me. I came and went without a fuss.

Next I stopped by the office. Secretary also seemed a bit standoffish. I thought "huh, maybe it's me"

Went to pick up something for the office. The woman there was very bubbly not my type tho. We joked a bit, very playful. I left cordially.

Then I returned to the office to drop the thing off. Secretary was much more engaging and playful but then so was I (I had decided to be more engaging right before I entered the place where I had to pick up that item).

So that was good and as I left I said:

Me: Ok, well have a good day!

Secretary: Thanks Sarge, you too!

Me: Thank you.

Not bad I suppose.
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09-21-2017, 03:39 PM
Post: #53
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
Rain day today. No work except for that errand.

Been thinking about stuff as I play video games.

I'm having another "it'll all work out" epiphany, similar to the one I had on 3.0.1 a, right before I started seeing my hairdresser.

The way I'm starting to see attraction and sex is like gravity. It's unstoppable unless you do something to stop it. Like say something off-putting, for example.

I'm still stuck in the old paradigm (do something to get the girl) in a lot of ways, but this gravity idea makes more sense.

I'm also thinking about how women engaging you in playful banter is a GREAT idea (on their part) lol. Because it limits the chances of their being anything off-putting said, AND it allows for you both to be doing something together and make a connection. So that's cool.

I'm hoping I can just capitalize on it a bit more, and not f*ck up so much.
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09-21-2017, 10:09 PM (This post was last modified: 09-21-2017 10:14 PM by SargeMaximus.)
Post: #54
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
So Shannon's not the only one with shit going wrong all around him.

Check it out:

Went to the gym today.

Wasn't going to, but I thought to myself "No! I'm going to stay committed!"

So I was about to leave when I realized I needed a new lock because I couldn't remember the combo for my old one and it's cold enough outside to need to wear layers (normally, when it's warm, I just go to the gym already wearing my gym clothes).

So I go to Walmart and buy a lock without a hitch.

Then I go to the gym, write down the combination, and go inside.

In the locker room, try as I might, I can't remember HOW to open the lock! Stupid! I got the comno but that is USELESS without the correct turn sequence.

At this point I'm like "I should just go home. I'll have to pass everyone on the treadmills and they'll recognize me and it'll be embarrassing. I shouldn't come back till tomorrow"

But then I'm like "No! They'll respect me for coming back and they'll know something was up. Besides, IDGAF what they think. Yeah."

So, motivated and full of mojo, I return to my car, read the sequence and then write THAT down as well. Then return to the gym.

The gym goes off without a hitch.

There are a few girls that catch my eye.

One is short but has good body and big tits, the other is tall but has great legs and ass, and she's squating so I can see her ass.

I'm damn sure she saw me checking her out in the mirror. I'm also 80% sure she gave me a few butt displays.

Not too long after that, a guy comes over and they start talking. I think he must be her BF or orbiter because they are familiar and chill with each other. She's not giddy, however.

Anyhow, at this point I notice there is a key underneath the seat of the machine I'm using.

How strange.

It's a single key. No chain at all.

I pocket it, intending to bring it up to the guy at the front. However, when I do, he's not there.

So I decide I'll finish my workout, then go.

So I do.

He's still not there. WTF. What are these guys paid for?

So I go to the locker room, put on my clothes, and return. Finally the guy is there. I tell him I found the key and he's like "Oh shit! That's MY key!"

I'm like "What, really?"

He's like "Yeah! I was showing someone how to use the machine and it must have fallen out of my pocket."

He thanks me, we shake hands, I leave.

I'm thinking "Wow, what a crazy night" and chuckle a little. Yet I'm proud of myself for pushing through the obstacles.

I get into my car.

Then I turn the ignition key and... nothing.

My f*cking car battery is dead. WTF?!

At this point I'm thinking "Wow, unbelievable. What's going on? This is stupid. It's not even that cold, my car shouldn't be dead. And besides that, why does this shit only happen when I decide to "do the right thing"?"

So, I return to the gym. Figuring the desk guy would be more than happy to help me since I found his key.

But he's not there.

WTF?!?!!?

At this point I'm getting slightly annoyed (I was actually calm the whole time but this was just weird and unusual to me).

A guy is leaving and I approach him, ask him if he'll give me a boost. He says sure. I say great! I';m oparked over there!"

He comes over, I'm like "Thanks man, you're a life saver!" and open my trunk... NO ***** BOOSTER CABLES!!!

*Note To Self: BUY BOOSTER CABLES!!

So i ask the guy "Hey man, do you have booster cables?" He's like "Shit, no i don't! Sorry man!"

I'm like "No, it's MY fault. No worries man. Thanks anyways, etc etc."

we say our goodbyes, and i return to the gym.

Desk guy is still not there.

Fuuuuuuuck.

So I go out into the parking lot and wave at some guys coming into the gym.

No booster cables.

I wave at a guy in his car and ask HIM... nope.

I find someone else... but no, no cables.

I start to think I may need to sleep in the gym!

Then a car pulls up and I'm like "Ahhhh... I guess I should ask them"

So i walk up to the car and this amazing blonde is at the wheel.

She's like a total 8.5-9. Just my type. Young, voloptuous, fit.

I say "hey, I know this is random but do you have any jumper cables?"

And she's like...











Scratch that, I'm pulling your gjuys' legs, there was no girl.

It was a guy. Prolly 20 years old.

Anyhow, he had cables and he boosted my car, and I thanked him profusely and then he drove off with a wave and a smile and I drove home.

Crazy shit.

Now I'm worried about tomorrow. If my car is dying in this cool weather, it may die tomorrow and then I will have to take the bus to get my hair done. Not to mention buy a new car battery!

F*cking hell.
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09-22-2017, 08:37 AM (This post was last modified: 09-22-2017 08:41 AM by SargeMaximus.)
Post: #55
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
Bought some booster cables this morning.

Wearing black boots, blue jeans, dark blue (nearly black) t-shirt, leather moto jacket, and black toque/beanie.

As soon as I get into the place, the old man who works as the greeter says hi but he's hesitant. I smile warmly and say "Good morning! Hopw are you?"

He's like "I'm fine th-yes?" as if I interrupted him, but I didn't say anything.

Decided to just go with it.

I'm like "I'm looking for booster cables."

He shows me to them, and I thank him cordially.

Then I pick the 16 footers (I'll be damned if I'm gonna have cables that are too short when I need them!)

Then I walk to the checkouts. There are 2 guys in front of me, the one already being served by the lone cashier.

Another woman (not my type) comes over and smiles at me. I smile back (it's polite!).

She says "I can help you over here" giving me direct EC.

She doesn't even notice the other guy. lol. But he takes it and says "Oh thanks!" lol. The look on the woman's face! A mixture of confusion and disappointment.

I give her a sympathetic look.

As I';m waiting, a girl workming at customer service (nearly 100 feet away) raises her hand and yells "I can help you over here!"

I smile and as I'm walking over, the girl who first offered looks at me and I smile. Then I say "Thanks anyways"

The guy seemed confused. Tongue

I go to the customer service girl and I make the normal greeting. Then she mentions the cables "These are good to have. Especially in the winter"

I'm like "Yeah, my car battery died last night while I was at the gym, so..."

Then she just says "Hmmm.... yeah I was at the airport once to pick up my parents and the battery died. I had to talk to 3 people before I got someone who could boost it"

I'm like "no way. Me too! 3 people, same thing."

She doesn't seem affected. Then I remember "Right! You're supposed to talk about the EMOTIONS, not the content!"

So she keeps telling the story and how her parents are on the phone texting her "where are you?" and she's trying to tell them that she's got a dead battery etc.

So I'm like "wow. Frustrating!"

She just looks at me and nods.

I dunno, maybe it wasn't frustrating or maybe she was just taken aback by a guy empathizing with her.

She wasn't looking me face-on, however, her head was pointed away and she looked me in the eye, so it was a kind of sideways glance which I've heard is suspicion.

Anyhow, who knows.

We were done and I left. She said "Have a great day!" after me and I said "you too." and exited the building.

She wasn't my type either. But I am trying to be friendly to everyone and develop my convo skills with everyone as well.

Before I went into the store, there WAS a woman I liked. She seemed kind of cuter, but as I looked at her she stuck her nose in the air. lol.

Dunno what that is. I mean obviously it's a rejection but why it happened with a girl I'm attracted to is beyond me.
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09-22-2017, 12:03 PM (This post was last modified: 09-22-2017 12:16 PM by SargeMaximus.)
Post: #56
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
So went to a used clothing store to buy a coat.

There are always a few trashy but cute girls in those places. Saw a few I liked but nothing from them.

As I looked for a coat, some guy takes his coat out of his shopping cart and says to me "here, try this on!"

I'm like "Why?"

He goes "This one, try it"

I just chuckle "No, I'm good man, thanks"

How bizarre.

When at the register, there is a hot asian milf in spandex pants and tank top wearing a jacket.

I notice her and am thinking "give me a sign woman!"

She then pulls her hair to the side, blocking my view of her neck.

I'm thinking "k... that's an IOD"

But then she flings her hair back with both arms and proceeds to put it in a pony tail. Smile

I'm thinking "ok, you gotta talk to her..., but how?" I was waiting in line, after all.

Anyhow eventually she comes up to the counter to ask the cashier something (I'm the next in line) so after they are done talking I engage her. She talks to me a bit but isn't giving me anything I can work with so I let it drop.

Meh.

EDIT: Forgot to mention. Also went to Sport Check to get a toque/beanie (my other one makes me look like a criminal. Good for girls, no good for D2D)

Anyhow, the cute associate helped me find the toques. She was dreamy eyes and smiles.

As I looked through the toques, two girls come over to check out toques as well.

I had noticed them previuously so me thinks they are hovering.

Anyhow the one tries on a toque and the other girl says "OMG! That's so CUTE! Your little curls! So CUTE!"

And I'm thinking "how girls do this when a guy is around" Tongue

Anyhow, I never engaged them. Not sure why. They were cute but it was too I dunno. Not enough balls I suppose.

Anyhow, I get done and I go up to pay for my hat.

The girl is on the phone and when I arrive we exchange greetings. Then, with sparkles in her eyes she asks "Is it ok if I multitask?" (keep in mind she just helped someone else but didn't ask them, at least, not to my knowledge)

And I'm like "yeah it's fine"

She smiles and I pay.

When I go to pay, there are some clothes on the counter next to the pay stand.

A woman who had been standing there reaches over and moves them to give me more room. I say thank you.

Anyhow, crazy celebrity vibe today I guess.

EDIT 2: I get my haircut today.

Will be wearing a Dab of Taboo.

Excited to see what happens, if anything.

Feels like it's been SO long since I've gone there. These last two weeks have been packed full of shit going down!
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09-22-2017, 02:26 PM (This post was last modified: 09-22-2017 04:37 PM by SargeMaximus.)
Post: #57
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
Just got back from hairdresser. She was motor mouth, giggly. A bit touchy. Pressed her body up to my hands many times. Including her crotch but when I asked her what she was doing this weekend she had plans. Oh well.

EDIT:

The Notables:

- She was wearing a tight mini dress exposing her legs. Which are nice. She kept pulling it down as it would hike up.
- She was slow to start but once she got going, I couldn't get a word in edge-wise. Motor mouth.
- Giggling
- A few looks of fondness from her
- She was using ukranian language sometimes, telling me what "butt", "eggs", and "my love" were in ukranian. Some guy she knows told her. Maybe she was trying to make me jealous with that info or maybe he's the guy she's seeing atm. IDC either way.
- She pressed her body into my hand a few times, but this is the first time she put her crotch right to my hand. I decided against stroking it for a variety of reasons.
- She touched my hair in a fond way at one point. I know she's a hairdresser, this was different. Like that "grooming/push the hair to one side" thing.
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09-23-2017, 07:41 AM
Post: #58
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
Obsessing over social skills.

I'm, starting to understand the WHY, which is crucial.

I never really got it before, now I'm starting to.

Still have a long way to go.

To be honest it will be lifelong, I just hope I can have sex with a lot of hot girls along the way. :/

Having a TON of crazy or long dreams recently. Since about last sunday I reckon.

Gonna go out to do sales today. Will update more as things pop up.
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09-23-2017, 11:14 AM
Post: #59
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
I must be in the next tier of something.

Sales is not as easy as it used to be. I have to put in more effort, be more aware, and be way more careful not to mess up.

Got an app this morning. Woman was initially opposed to it but I hit the right buttons and I was inside her house, and she's showing me what needs done.

Her husband was also there. The guy saw me but never acknowledged me, even when I waved. He also ate some food with his back to us. :/
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09-23-2017, 05:23 PM
Post: #60
RE: SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]
Tonight as I was driving home I was thinking/mulling about internal vs. external locus/validation.

On the one hand, more people are smiling at me than ever before. More people say hi to me than ever before, more people are open to me than ever before, yet internally I feel like shit.

It's like I can't believe that is true. And yet, if I did and then relied on all that external stuff, it'd be very victim of me. :/

I hope I'm making sense.

Like, when doing D2D I have the hardest time motivating myself to ring a door bell these days. I imagine everything will go bad.

But then if I remind myself that things usually go right, my internal talk comes in and says "Don't be externally focused!" Sad

So it's like I can never be happy or feel good about myself.

And then if I did but didn't get any sales, I'd tell myself it's because I'm too out of touch with reality.

Damn. It's harsh.
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