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Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
06-24-2017, 01:58 PM
Post: #61
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Today experienced a very strong case of auric projection + morphine drip. Interestingly enough, the girl who was most probably getting sniped the most kinda ran away after a while; definite avoidant behavior. Gonna call her up tomorrow, see what's what.

Obviously, some time after I ran into some fears and resistance, etc., and now have a very strong urge to switch back to ver. A. Even more obviously, I am going to stick to ver. B.
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Travis
06-25-2017, 11:49 AM (This post was last modified: 06-25-2017 11:50 AM by Have at ye.)
Post: #62
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Definite avoidant behavior confirmed.

EDIT

Also, ver. B is kicking my ass. Crying for no apparent reason. Tired of wasting energy on resisting the script. Interesting. No resistance-headache, but my stomach/gut feels funky.
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06-26-2017, 04:12 AM
Post: #63
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Something new today. Experiencing a sensation of pleasant warmth in my gut and in the spine, going all the way from the lower back to the sternum. The spine sensation is something new. Did 9 loops ver. B last night.
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06-30-2017, 12:36 PM (This post was last modified: 06-30-2017 12:42 PM by Have at ye.)
Post: #64
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Getting a full-brain (mostly center) resistance headache today. Interesting. Haven't had one of these since DMSI2.5.

To celebrate, I think I'll do 9 loops ver. B tonight.

Also: libido is making a comeback. Ex is sending me selfies (atypical behavior for her). [EDIT: note - the above decision to cut back my relationship with her still stands, though, for the time being].
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SargeMaximus
07-01-2017, 01:08 PM (This post was last modified: 07-01-2017 01:10 PM by Have at ye.)
Post: #65
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
After sending me a bunch of selfies earlier in the day, the ex barged in slightly tipsy to my place at about 2 AM with beers, lol.

Anyhow, my gut is saying to get back on to ver. A. I don't think it's the resistance reaction, though, as those are more hectic/aggressive in their gut-feeling, so to speak. Gut says to do high doses of ver. A for a time, so I'll be doing just that for the forseeable future: 7-9 loops per day, starting off with 9 today. Basically, what it seems to be saying is that there's a whole lot of stuff lacking in the deservedness/self-worth department in my case, regarding the program's goals, so that needs to get fixed, and ver. A has the modules to do just that.
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Travis, enoch
07-04-2017, 08:36 AM
Post: #66
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Feeling good, clearing well. 9 loops is where it's at for me for ver. A. This is working. Smoking WAAAY too much, though.
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eternity
07-07-2017, 10:53 AM
Post: #67
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Reading "The Rational Male" based on seeing it recommended in these forums, good stuff! I try to steer clear of most PUA stuff, but this books seems well-researched and makes sense.

Also, funny thing - I'm back to running into females I know and find sexually attractive as if "by chance" and "totally randomly" (same thing that would happen during the first month of my DMSI 3.1 usage), and then interact with them to various degrees, usually at their behest and insistence, lol.
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CatMan
07-09-2017, 05:24 AM
Post: #68
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Internal changes are taking place. I am working through stuff which I have already went past intellectually, but not subconsciously. F. in. I apparently still have deeply ingrained "oneitis" of a devious, inobvious sort (as outlined in "The Rational Male" book), and it is being dissolved. Further fears are going bye-bye, too, gradually.

Gonna stick to ver. A, 9 loops, for at least another week, perhaps more.
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CatMan
07-12-2017, 03:20 AM
Post: #69
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Switched back to ver. B. Gotta get a grip and stick to one or the other for an extended period of time, lol.
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07-18-2017, 05:25 AM (This post was last modified: 07-18-2017 05:32 AM by Have at ye.)
Post: #70
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Keeping at it with ver. B, 7-9 loops per day. My gut seems to be telling me to try: 2 loops morning (after getting up), and then 7 loops evening, possibly while sleeping. Going to try such a scheme out starting tomorrow.

Internal changes are progressing. I can also see effects of the aura projecting from time to time, usually through women giving strong "I am so hot and bothered" or "my, aren't you just the most fascinating person in the world!" IOIs. Nothing direct lately, though.

Trouble is, I've been staying at home a lot lately because I've got nothing too productive to do outside of it (going to gigs, social events or meeting with friends from time to time. Also taking long walks and musing, as this is my favorite pastime). I am kinda frustrated by not having interesting, lucrative stuff to do - I feel much better than I do. Angry that I am not making progress fast enough career-wise - and money-wise, as these go together. The nearest thing I've got lined up is in September. Sad I hate not having enough stuff to do, and not making money constantly. Might take up some translation jobs in the meantime, but I've made the career change for a *reason*, goddamn. I am kinda stuck while looking for gigs due to not enough padding in my resume and lack of truly influential contacts. The most annoying thing about it is that whenever I *do* make it to audition, I always leave a very strong impression. Pah!

Technically, various showbiz people should be killing themselves to represent me, as given my very rare voice type (as far as I know, there's about 3 guys with this kind of voice currently active in Poland - me included), good acting skills and powerful stage presence (which is progressively becoming insane due to DMSI) I'd be one hell of a moneymaker in the long run. Pah again.

Long-term, I'm not worried at all - I would rather make faster progress than slower progress, though, obviously. More money would be welcome, too, as I'd like to make a step up in my quality-of-life, and there's interesting stuff I would very much like to do which requires more spending money than I currently have. F. in. I am planning to move abroad to follow my chosen career-path (it's a little bit too incestuous and "lol, Poland" in here for my tastes - without sucking up and paying, let's call it, *protection money*, it's an uphill struggle. Some of these "dealers" are actually actively trying to block me because I'm not *theirs*, so to speak. Also, the movers and shakers are often incompetent), but it'd be much more viable to do with a decent amount of potato to set myself up.

OK, enough whining.

To end this entry on a positive note - I am progressively getting into pretty great shape. Better diet, good exercise regimen, added plenty of cardio to it to boot, to get rid of unnecessary fat faster. Would love to join a gym, and some yoga and pilates classes to boot (because, hey, girls and exercise Big Grin), but - I simply do not have the money to burn yet (I can work out very effectively at home without spending any money at all on the thing, heh).

Another thing I noticed - sometimes while I am listening to my loops I will experience a strong shudder, throughout my body. It's not something that occurs normally and on its own in my case, so it is probably a reaction to something in the sub.
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07-20-2017, 06:03 AM
Post: #71
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Wow, MLS5.5 sounds really *good*. Too bad I'm gonna have to wait until September/November to get it, pah! All's good, though, since I'm sticking to DMSI in the interim, as planned. Big Grin

On that front - yesterday I only did 2 loops in the morning. In the evening I was so sleepy and tired, I did not put on my loops. In the end, I slept for about 14 hours. This is probably the humongous amount of loops I've been doing lately getting processed. Doing the 2 loops now, will see about later on.

I think that once I start seriously executing DMSI, 2 loops is going to be more than enough. The additional loops serve to break through resistance, mostly.
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Kol
07-21-2017, 05:06 AM (This post was last modified: 07-21-2017 05:10 AM by Have at ye.)
Post: #72
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
So, I've been doing 2 loops morning, 2 loops evening these past two days. And lemme tell you, I feel excruciatingly tired all the time - feels like I'd just like to curl up in a little ball of boredom and misery and go to sleep, but I've got trouble doing that too lately. Big Grin Something's being worked on. It might be that the program is driving me to do or realize something big, and it is not exactly a pleasant or smooth experience. No idea what exactly that would be, though. I'll stick to the 2 loops morning, 2 loops evening deal at least until Sunday, and then maybe I'll add some more loops to the mix. Will try to tough it out with ver. B until the end of the month in such a way. Only 10 days left to go!

I've basically been driven to remove all distractions (no vidya games, no tv shows, no pornography, etc., still working on cigarettes and caffeine, though) throughout my time with DMSI, and now that I've got none at hand... well... I don't have anything to distract me from the general misery of resisting the script, or I dunno what. Big Grin

Had an audition lined up for Saturday, but it got moved to September, because of course it did. Big Grin I've just realized that for some reason, my summer's have been rather boring and miserable these past 3-4 years, heh.

Honestly, if I had the potato to buy MLS, I'd switch subs. But since I don't, I'm sticking to DMSI. Perhaps this is for the better in the long run. I dunno.

EDIT

Funnily enough, throughout that I do get moments of the morphine drip sensation, and various other physical sensations that seem to be related to projecting the DMSI aura (increased bodyheat, electrical current around limbs, warmth in the heart chakra area etc.).
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07-28-2017, 03:07 AM
Post: #73
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Listening to DMSI sometimes feels like walking in circles. It is not (as whenever I choose to think about, I can see heaploads of changes and notice pretty powerful effects), but it sure as hell does feel like it at times. Big Grin

Anyroad, pressing on. Currently using ver. A, 2 loops morning, 2 loops evening. Noticed that such a set up brings up a lot of *weird* stuff - as in it is either radical healing/clearing, or radical resistance. I am not so sure whether it is one or the other, as masking is a factor. F. in. oftentimes I am thinking about stuff that is (at least seemingly) totally unrelated to DMSI's goals, doing day-to-day stuff, etc., with nothing happening, yet internally feel like crap/like my gut is being torn to shreds from the inside out.

Since I presume that it pays off to stay the course while the going is the hardest (at least that is the general conclusion I have come to from reading other journal's and Shannon's advice contained therein), I will be staying the course of 2 loops day/2 loops evening for the time being, as it is kicking my ass.

I had a very strong urge to shoot myself in the foot and spend all my money for groceries this month on the newest MLS, but it has passed. The reason for that is that *I know* it would kick ass and I'd totally ace executing the thing with very little stuff to heal/clear (heck, DMSI ver. A has taken care of most of that already, I think). Thing is, though - I should be friggin' executing DMSI with comparable power and effectiveness, oy! I've had enough of coming up with dumb excuses to not execute the goddamn script, grr, subconsciously or not, or ***** myself over or self-sabotaging out of some dumb fears of inadequacy. The only way to execute the script is to execute the script. Simple as that. Herp derp derp.

BTW., one thing I noticed - some women, when exposed to my awesome auric presence for extended periods of time, start acting like they are suffering from hysteria - possibly due to an overload of sexual arousal and blocking themselves from relieving it by doing what they should be doing (i. e.: having sex with me Tongue). This mostly applies to younger women of Catholic background/virgins/girls suffering from a case of acute girl-oneitis (as in - *wife material*). They also engage in avoidant behavior of a weird kind - they seem to be afraid of staying alone with me (most probably because they can feel that they might be unable to control themselves in such a scenario); thus, they seek out contact, but only when there are other people around (which is annoying, because all other signs otherwise indicate they are hot, bothered and ready to go). I'll need to make some more observations and field test it a bit more. It is possible I am not executing the script to its full extent yet, though, or there might be a leak there that must be plugged. Dunno.

I do assume that, given enough time, they'll find a rationalization or excuse to engage in some dirty lovemaking with the wonderful author of this here Internet post, though. Tongue
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07-28-2017, 03:16 AM
Post: #74
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Oh, one more thing: I noticed that my, um, penis sometimes hurts. LIKE A WHOLE LOT. If it is a way of motivating myself to execute the script through making myself uncomfortable if I don't, then it should be most effective, because *ouch*. Big Grin I am not excluding the possibility that it might be something else, though. It's happened once when I was doing ver. B, and then once again yesterday (ver. A), and only happens when I'm in public.
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Travis
07-29-2017, 04:12 AM
Post: #75
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Hmm, just noticed my smell has definitely changed - to one similar in strength and composition to the one I had while using ver. 3.0.1 - so that means tons of androstenol being produced, I guess. Curious.

Only thing I did different listening to my loops today is that I felt the urge to raise playback volume a ton, now it's at 0.00dB adjustment per foobar's indication.

Hoping this means some resistance has been overcome. Smile
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07-29-2017, 08:27 PM
Post: #76
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Had my first day where I felt actually good about myself and my life for the first time in about a month. This is big, given the general tone of this journal lately.

Tons of progress. It's as I have noticed previously - I've gotten past a lot of stuff intellectually, but not on the subconscious level, which resists accepting certain truths or new, better, more useful beliefs. I've probably still got some ways to go, but I can feel, see, tell and accept that I've actually accepted certain truths as they are and for what they are (mostly pertaining to: actual female nature and getting rid of irrational feelings of inadequacy/the need to impress/fight an uphill battle). There still might be some leftovers of that - I can tell because sometimes my brain will flare up with, for instance, "when you next have sex with a woman you will get ED because you're worthless, brah", but - given the progress - I am quite sure it is going to be taken care of soon enough, and its been kicking up less and less, and now when I do get thoughts of this ilk, I don't get angry or depressed - I'm actually rather amused with myself, lol ("lol, I can see what I'm trying to do here, get out of here with that bullcrap, me Big Grin" and suchlike).

Funnily enough, I've had a slight windfall of potato that would allow me to purchase MLS right now, but - even though I will buy and use it sooner or later - I do not feel inclined to do so right now. Currently planning to keep running DMSI until at least September. MLS will keep. It's not going anywhere. Big Grin
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07-29-2017, 09:53 PM
Post: #77
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
I'm sorry, potatos aren't a currency that paypal currently accepts! Big GrinTongue
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07-29-2017, 09:55 PM
Post: #78
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
(07-29-2017 09:53 PM)Benjamin Wrote:  I'm sorry, potatos aren't a currency that paypal currently accepts! Big GrinTongue

'tis an outrage! I shall write a stern letter and mail it to their offices by pigeon.
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07-31-2017, 12:01 AM
Post: #79
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
Random musing of the day:

When you wield true power (of any sort), use it to its limits but - don't be a dick about it. People can tell when you are more powerful than them, so there's no need to force it down their throats. This may breed resentment. Resentment leads to hate.

(and hate leads to the DARK SIDE Big Grin. j/k)

Unless someone is really asking for it, I guess (as in - makes a power play and does not back down/is unwilling to cooperate with a greater power or a power of equal proportions).
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08-01-2017, 06:26 AM
Post: #80
RE: Let's bend some reality and muse randomly - DMSI 3.1
I am now hyperfocused on resolving various issues that DMSI has been driving me to resolve. Connecting the dots - putting the pieces in place. Re-evaluating certain ideas, belief and behaviors of mine. A lot of it is now facepalmingly obvious.

And you know what? It feels ***** good.

It is making it kinda difficult to focus on other stuff, though, since I've now got some interesting things to do professionally, but I'll get to them in due course.

I believe I am also readying myself to quit smoking altogether. A part of me is still clinging to cigarettes desperately, as I am tempted to smoke even more than usual lately, but it is what it is - an attempt to cling to something desperately before letting go of it for real.
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