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In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
07-16-2017, 12:18 PM
Post: #41
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
As always Shannon I appreciate the input. I guess I still have some things to work through. Feels like I'm in denial about a lot of things surrounding sex that I'd rather get rid of.
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07-16-2017, 05:32 PM
Post: #42
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Feels like I've been pulling up crap from my past/negative beliefs and throwing them in a giant bag slung across my shoulder and all I want to do is just drop it and move on. But something feels like it's stopping me. They aren't as buried and subconscious anymore, but they are still stuck with me. It feels like I have to make a blind leap of faith to get into this new reality. The more I've grown the more I've realized I don't even really know myself. I thought I did. But it turns out I was so enclosed in this prison I created for myself because of being afraid of other people I never grew really. I was just a reflection of what other people wanted to see. So now I need to spend more time truly finding myself instead of running away. My whole life has been nothing but a form of self preservation by getting people to approve of me. As much as I would like to think that I've been a bold authentic person through my life, I haven't. I've been so reserved and hidden I can't even find myself anymore except in brief moments where I allow my true self through.
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07-16-2017, 06:35 PM
Post: #43
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
I resonate with that so much. Thanks for posting.
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Dr. Strangelove
07-17-2017, 10:07 AM
Post: #44
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
(07-16-2017 06:35 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote:  I resonate with that so much. Thanks for posting.

Always glad when my words connect with someone, thanks for reading.



Had a weird moment earlier today. My life tends to follow this pattern where I fall into these holes or mental ruts. I don't know how to describe it, but it's like seeing the light and then slipping back into negative ways. One of the things I'm becoming more aware of is how powerful my own mind is. I've read all about it, other's experiences, but I never really embodied it.

I was sitting there contemplating my life situation. How I felt stuck, how it's hard finding a job, how everything seems hard. And my intuition kicked in and it said life isn't supposed to be like this, you have a choice. And I slipped into this observer state and it's like I looked at the reality I currently subscribed to and told myself it was my choice and I could change it if I wanted to. It wasn't a wishing sort of mentality. It was a knowing. What I've realized is DMSI causes me to execute in ways my conscious mind cannot even fathom and where I've been falling short is not trusting in this power. The weird part is it feels both familiar and unknown to me at the same time. But it's like an intuition that's always been there and now it feels like it's getting stronger.
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07-18-2017, 05:40 AM
Post: #45
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
I have to laugh at myself, I really do. I'm unhappy in life, yet I don't do anything to fix it. This isn't about outward action either, I mean my mindset and beliefs. I'm trying to create a whole new way of living while still holding onto the old way. It's like repeatedly walking into a wall when there's a door right next me. Someone is like "uh hey buddy, just use the door" and I'm like "nah this'll work, it's just gonna take some time".

I feel really dumb, but this whole time waiting for these subs to miraculously change things was just a way to procrastinate or avoid it, and I didn't even catch it. In my mind I was like, ok I have to heal completely then everything will fall into place. Gotta get a job, oh wait there's those self worth issues, have to fix those before I can be employed. Let's talk to women, nah I'm still anxious they'll feel that and reject me let's solve that too. At this point in my life I'm not sure if I'll ever be 100 percent secure in myself or if I'll always be a little neurotic, but one thing is for damn sure putting my life on hold until I figure out a way to solve everything internally is just going to be a disaster. This striving for perfection has felt like a sick joke to me and I'm done with it.

For years I thought I was being all insightful, prepared, ahead of the curve, I even had adults tell me when I was younger that I had so much insight and wisdom that would put me ahead of everyone else. And maybe I did, but it was a double edged sword. For all the positive things I discovered there was a negative as well. Unfortunately for me due to an excessive amount of fear I gave more weight to the negative instead of the positive so I shaped my whole life around avoiding potential failure rather than striving for success.
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07-18-2017, 04:42 PM
Post: #46
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Had a bit of a vent earlier today. It was weird, I was driving in my car and I just felt like crap. So I just started talking to myself out loud. I probably looked insane lol.

I'm not gonna detail the whole thing, but the gist of it was that I'm trying too hard to do all this shit right. I assume there's a superior or right way to heal. Confident one day, miserable the next, immediate thought is what did I do wrong? Maybe I didn't do anything wrong, maybe I just need to accept I'm a goddamn human being and I'm not perfect. More than half of my misery comes from trying to micro-manage my own emotional state. When I'm upset or negative I just obsess on how I shouldn't be feeling that, how I'm better than that, how I'm running subliminals and how my mind should be some kind of peak performance machine by now. I've been trying to escape everything that makes a person human in pursuit of being perfect. I just don't understand how I can be so afraid of being the very thing that I am.

With that I realized DMSI has been touching on the core issue that's plagued me my entire life. I feel all kinds of messed up right now but I'm not going to try to avoid it or deny it. So screw doing this the right way or the higher spiritual way, I'm just gonna be a mess of a person for as long as it takes to pick up the pieces again and return as someone stronger. Until then no more hiding.
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07-19-2017, 01:12 PM
Post: #47
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Still a mess internally but it's all good. Notice I have some emotions pop up throughout the day and I've been going through them instead of hiding or attempting to let them go. I think all this time I thought I was letting stuff go I was just repressing it. It got to the point where it felt like my head was buzzing with angry bees and I was pissed at everyone and everything.

Realized I've got a lot of internalized hatred for people, need to let that poison go. At least now I'm owning up to it. Before I was like no I'm a good person, I don't hate people, I accept people, etc. But denial of that just made it stronger. The shadow self and all that. There's definitely a power in becoming ok with the less desirable aspects of yourself. In my case I definitely want to be less judgemental of people. But having it come from a genuinely authentic center in myself, not this trying to not be judgemental so I think of myself as a good person crap.

Living more with an open heart instead of in fear. I've realized fear makes you very selfish, closed off, and judgemental. It disconnects you from people and makes you feel alone. I've always been paranoid of people's motives so I'm very cautious of trusting people. At the same time I feel like I close myself off to people who are good as well. It's a terrible way to live life.

Needless to say, not really expecting much on the DMSI front until I work through this stuff. It probably puts up a huge barrier between me and women.
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07-20-2017, 05:54 AM
Post: #48
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Really weird dream last night. There were people who discovered how to jump to different realities. All you had to do was write what you wanted and put it on this pedestal with this orb and you would be in a reality close to what you described. But if you weren't specific enough it manifested in different ways. But it didn't even matter because life just became all about having fun and trying out different stuff. Seemed pretty freeing, the exact opposite of how I feel right now. Sort of claustrophobic, trapped, trying to figure a way out but not making much progress.
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RTBoss
07-20-2017, 08:00 AM
Post: #49
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
God damn resistance again. I've been mulling over these negative emotions instead of detaching from them. My mind knows. It knows that if I bring up a negative feeling I'll latch on to it and wait for it to heal. The problem is it's not healing, it's just a clever way to get me stuck so I don't face the things I fear.

Also is it in the DMSI programming to get a wave of euphoria when you are executing the program and on the right track? I notice that happens whenever I sort of snap out of it and remind myself to move forward and to not stay stuck in the negative.
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07-20-2017, 07:58 PM
Post: #50
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
So pretty crazy thing happened to me today. A few days ago I was meditating and focusing on letting go of resistance. While I was doing that I had images pop up into my head of a girl I had a crush on in high school. So I kind of just went with it and let myself get into it. Today I was at my job and I walk in and notice a receipt on the counter for a furniture purchase. It was her name and phone number. She stopped by in the morning, but I came in the afternoon so I just missed her. No clue if she'll pop up again in my life, but I didn't even know she was still in the area. Interesting stuff.
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07-20-2017, 08:15 PM (This post was last modified: 07-20-2017 08:16 PM by Zane.)
Post: #51
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Sometimes I think we are no longer 3D beings. . Not Anymore after becoming a part of IML community

“I'll Take a Nightmare That's Real Over a Dream That's a Lie"-Sarah
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07-20-2017, 08:52 PM
Post: #52
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
(07-20-2017 08:00 AM)mat422 Wrote:  God damn resistance again. I've been mulling over these negative emotions instead of detaching from them. My mind knows. It knows that if I bring up a negative feeling I'll latch on to it and wait for it to heal. The problem is it's not healing, it's just a clever way to get me stuck so I don't face the things I fear.

Also is it in the DMSI programming to get a wave of euphoria when you are executing the program and on the right track? I notice that happens whenever I sort of snap out of it and remind myself to move forward and to not stay stuck in the negative.

Yes.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
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07-21-2017, 06:52 AM
Post: #53
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
(07-20-2017 08:15 PM)Zane Wrote:  Sometimes I think we are no longer 3D beings. . Not Anymore after becoming a part of IML community

It's something, I don't know what it is. But it's amazing.



DMSI is smoothing out for me. Feels like I'm actually complying with the instructions to just let things go. But really let them go, without engaging the emotions or going through all that emotionally turbulent stuff. Feels like I'm having a paradigm shift a bit and gaining a fundamental understanding that pain is not required to heal. That's important for me because I always thought you need to go through emotions and revisit past events and stuff of that nature.

That being said it's weird how many things I can draw connections to. For example lately I've been feeling uninspired by music and feeling like I don't want to create anything because I don't know what to create. But this is similar to the fake disinterest in women I still battle with from time to time. In the case of my music I hear all my favorite artists and I'm so afraid of not measuring up to their music that I convince myself that I don't really want to make music like them. Feels like as I confront this fear more and let it go I'm starting to be ok with my music being amateur sounding or not good. That obsessive need to have it great is diminishing and it's opening my eyes to see what I need to improve on. Prior to this I kind of just stuck my head in the ground and avoided improving because I found it all to be too intimidating.
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Dr. Strangelove
07-22-2017, 03:41 AM
Post: #54
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
I was listening to an interview online with a music producer but he was talking about how making it in music you can't have a foot in both worlds. Meaning if you want music to be your life, you have to be in music and take risks.

For as long as I've run these subliminals I've realized I kept thinking to myself that one day maybe things will be easier. I have a serious aversion to hard work, always looking for the easier path. I read too many LOA books and metaphysical stuff that claims all that's necessary for success is belief. And belief is important, but it's only part of the equation. When you were a kid you didn't just magically begin to walk just through will alone. There were a bunch of steps and progressions you had to follow. It took time. Same goes for everything in life, it's important not to forget that. As much as the subliminals give us an edge, we still have to work hard. There's no shortcuts.

Too often I'd sit there with my music thinking if I just got into a flow state it would all come to me instead of buckling down and getting knee deep in the failure and making crap.
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07-22-2017, 05:56 PM
Post: #55
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Isn't the very nature of "having an edge" to be "taking a shortcut to success"? It may not always be a big one, but it is shorter than the guy without the edge must go.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
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07-22-2017, 07:16 PM
Post: #56
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
(07-22-2017 05:56 PM)Shannon Wrote:  Isn't the very nature of "having an edge" to be "taking a shortcut to success"? It may not always be a big one, but it is shorter than the guy without the edge must go.

You have a point. I guess for me it's the difference between working smarter to accomplish a goal vs taking that shortcut to avoid perceived failure.

To be honest I feel like for most of my life everything has been difficult to me. Frustratingly so. More frustrating is I'm surrounded by people who see potential in me and they themselves are frustrated at my lack of thriving in my life. I'm trying to correct all this and my thinking and to start believing the sky's the limit for me. But I just don't see it. Not yet at least. And I don't know, but it feels like my life path is one of difficulty. Like I'm supposed to go through all this so I can teach other people a better way. Maybe that's just a rationalization from my brain so I just hold onto old ways of thinking. Not entirely sure anymore.
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07-23-2017, 03:00 PM
Post: #57
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Decided I'm no longer going to tell anyone my goals in my life anymore. Unfortunately what I want out of life most people don't think is possible. Yeah I can tell them and then just avoid being influenced by the limiting beliefs they hold, but it's easier just to not even go there. I'm just not strong enough yet in my beliefs about what's possible for me and until I do get strong enough I have to protect those goals.

So that being said I'm noticing with DMSI a lot more confidence lately. There's been a ton of drama at my job lately and I'm not getting roped into it as much anymore. Of the few younger women I've interacted with at my job they seem to be very receptive to me. Twice today I was handing them the receipt for their purchase and they overreach and sort of grab my hand along with the receipt. Called sweetheart and they thank me a lot. No big deal really, but figured I'd report since I am a tester.

Overall still struggling a bit, but it seems like these past few days I've been less obsessed with making DMSI work to the best of it's ability and just have gone about my day. I guess there was a little too much conscious intervention the past few weeks that interfered with DMSI and made it more complicated than it had to be. A case of my conscious mind going "no I can do this better, let me do it". Just controlling stuff, fear, same old same old. Best thing I can do is just ignore it and focus on stuff outside of the sub.
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07-24-2017, 09:18 AM
Post: #58
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Found this interesting. It's based on neuroscience research regarding MBTI.

Quote:Neuroscientist Dario Nardi found that INFPs listened with their “whole brain” more than any other types. He says in his book The Neuroscience of Personality that INFPs “often enter a special listening mode. They are consummate listeners. They thoroughly engage all brain regions that process voice, words, and sounds; moreover, they may easily enter a unique whole-brain state when listening to other people, whoever those people might be.”

Got me thinking how this relates to me processing the subliminals. Just some food for thought really.
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kalmah0804
07-24-2017, 07:37 PM
Post: #59
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Got my loops in last night, but then decided that I wanted to listen during the day instead of at night again tonight. Well, I probably won't be doing that again anytime soon. Leaving enough space in between listening is really important. Feels like I overloaded my brain a bit, not putting sentences together properly, very out of it, everything feels very dream like. Sort of like when you pull an all nighter and the next day you're awake but all loopy and not thinking straight. So tonight I'm getting plenty of uninterrupted sleep.
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07-25-2017, 08:48 AM
Post: #60
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Things have gotten heavy for me. I'm reading a book about shadow work. I think DMSI might have led me to it. The thing I really like about the book so far is it's the authors own experience. This isn't some book written by some guru that wanted to make a quick buck. It's her own experience and how despite all the positive thinking, affirmations, visualizations, hypnosis, etc. it helped but didn't make her feel whole. Her experience mirrors mine, I've always felt there was some piece of the puzzle I was missing and I think this is it.

I think there's a lot in me I refuse to see or outright ignore. I think part of that is fear if I acknowledge it then that's who I am. But whether I acknowledge it or not, it's there. So it's better to bring things to light and learn and forgive myself than trying to keep denying it. Carl Jung said "I'd rather be whole than good". For my whole life I've been trying to be good, trying to erase the negative aspects of myself and be this perfect person. It's caused me a lot of suffering. It's never been about striving for excellence, it's always been about running away from the parts of myself I disliked and disowned. DMSI has been bringing me face to face with these things to release them. It sounds easy and straightforward but in my experience there was always this gap or inability to own up to the fact that these parts were me. There was a lack of emotional release, despite heavy logical thought processes about what caused it and how to stop it.
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