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In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
07-09-2017, 06:14 PM
Post: #21
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Yeah I listen at night and it's been fine for me.
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07-09-2017, 08:20 PM
Post: #22
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Locations do have energy. I call it geo-local energy. There is micro and macro geo-local energy too. Micro will tell you with relatively good accuracy if a business will succeed if you can sense it. Macro covers large areas. For example, you can roughly divide the united states into five parts by macro geo-local energy. If the macro geo-local energy matches your personality you will be significantly happier living there than if it is neutral, and even more so than if it conflicts.

Most people don't have awareness of these energies of course.

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The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
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07-09-2017, 08:56 PM
Post: #23
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Ever since reading "Transurfing," I believe energy pendulums - energetic information structures created by thoughts comingling on the same wavelength (Pendulum Info) - may also be responsible for what you're referring to.
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07-10-2017, 07:28 AM
Post: #24
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
(07-09-2017 08:20 PM)Shannon Wrote:  Locations do have energy. I call it geo-local energy. There is micro and macro geo-local energy too. Micro will tell you with relatively good accuracy if a business will succeed if you can sense it. Macro covers large areas. For example, you can roughly divide the united states into five parts by macro geo-local energy. If the macro geo-local energy matches your personality you will be significantly happier living there than if it is neutral, and even more so than if it conflicts.

Most people don't have awareness of these energies of course.

Very interesting. I've long suspected I'm in the wrong area. Currently residing in NY. Something about the vibe here just doesn't work with me. I'm unsure how much awareness I have of these energies, but I've spoke with my Mom and she has similar feelings. I think we are both energetically sensitive individuals.

(07-09-2017 08:56 PM)RTBoss Wrote:  Ever since reading "Transurfing," I believe energy pendulums - energetic information structures created by thoughts comingling on the same wavelength (Pendulum Info) - may also be responsible for what you're referring to.

Yeah I was gonna mention pendulums but I think most people aren't familiar with them. I have to read transurfing again. The thing is, it's so damn dense and at the time I didn't want to start believing in stuff that might not be true and obsess over it. But yeah, pendulums are definitely an interesting phenomena. A lot of the stuff I read in that book I wasn't ready for yet. Really turned my entire worldview upside down.



So quick update on 4 loops. Woke up this morning felt a lot of sexual energy. Channeled it into more productive stuff. These past few months I've been incredibly lethargic, lazy, messy, etc. It got so bad that my clean clothes didn't even make it to my drawers or closet, they just sat on the floor. So without even having to force myself I just cleaned everything up and did some extra laundry. Laundry? Big deal, you say. But I can't explain how near impossible it felt to do the most basic of tasks a few weeks ago. Also needed food so I went right to the grocery store. Normally I put this stuff off despite having nothing to eat in my house, that's how bad my procrastination is at times.

I don't know if I'm just more aware of hot women around me or if they are showing up because of DMSI. Right place, right time sort of thing I guess. I sort of have interest in them and sort of don't. But I think a lot of it is just fear again and me psyching myself out. So I feel the push from DMSI to go talk to them, but I decide not to do it. You're probably not gonna hear me talk about landing a ton of hot women in my journal yet. Still have to get past some roadblocks. But so far I'm liking the direction DMSI is going and 4 loops seems to be the sweet spot for me right now. Enough internal pressure to keep making changes, but not so much that I just completely collapse and sink into fear.
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07-11-2017, 07:10 AM
Post: #25
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
4 loops is definitely the sweet spot for me. Also my first few days of running DMSI were filled with too many expectations. It made me obsessed with making it work faster or doing it better. Now things are quieting down. I just run the loops and go about my day. I've known this for a while, but too much fiddling with what's going on inside interferes with results. The problem being I knew it wasn't helping, but couldn't stop from doing it. The only thing I really do now is take 10-15 minutes when I'm overly stressed and just focus on letting all the negativity go. Speaking of negativity.

Auric shielding. This has been a godsend. I had no idea how much manipulation went on with my energy until DMSI. So far I haven't quite gotten the hang of it or I'm still not executing the script all the way. But I was at work yesterday and started developing a headache and some intense nausea. The environment where I work has become increasingly toxic lately. So I went to the bathroom to center myself. I felt the negative energy leave my body when I calmed myself and then it was as if an energy pushed out from my stomach to surrounding my body. I felt more clearheaded and unaffected by the outside events going on around me. Sadly, without conscious intervention it seemed to collapse on me or couldn't be maintained. I had to reconstruct it every few minutes. But what I've learned from this is that even though AM6 instilled that assertive confident mentality in me, I was still being affected on an energetic level and not realizing it. Closing the doors to all manipulation is important to me, so that includes the energy level.

The question now for me is did DMSI enhance my perception of these energies? Or is this an ability I've had for all my life and was closed off to it because of fear/skepticism and to a lesser extent possibly shame?
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RTBoss
07-12-2017, 05:47 AM
Post: #26
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Resistance has been an issue a bit. Not in the outright obvious way. Quite interesting really. With this new tech I started thinking that I wasn't experiencing resistance. So my new resistance tactic was denying that the resistance was there. Doing the whole partial execution thing that makes it appear I'm getting the benefits of the sub, but I'm not going all the way. So I am seeing good growth, but at the same time I'm not getting the full benefits until I let go completely and stop obsessively controlling. The most ironic thing is that the more I try to change or improve myself consciously, the less I actually do. When I give up and let go and let the sub steer it comes from the inside and things just happen without me trying. An important lesson to be learned there. Sometimes even the most positive appearances can be resistance in disguise. In my case my conscious mind wanted to control how I grew and limited the power of the subliminal.

That being said I find that my life is still bottlenecked by fear. I've talked to a few people in my life about all my struggles. Sometimes I just get more upset because the only solution people have is to keep pushing and fight. But it's tiring and the very nature of having issues like this is that it manifests in very subtle ways that are hard to catch. I've stopped trying to compare myself to others and I've just focused on doing what's right for me. Other people might not get my struggle, they might not understand why I stay stuck in life, and that's fine. This is my problem to figure out and I'll heed any advice that people want to give me, but I'm not going to let them navigate my life for me. Just a few years ago I was convinced I could never change and I was doomed to be a socially anxious depressed mess of a person, but I grew and I beat it to some degree. Enough to shatter that illusion that things like depression and anxiety are a life sentence you have to cope with. I've achieved things in my life that I'm proud of and nobody can take that away from me. I've still got more growing to do and I always will. But for the time being I think it's important to take a step back and really recognize where I came from and how much improvement I've made. Even though on the outside people might criticize me or feel I haven't done anything, I don't care anymore because I'm done measuring my self worth to arbitrary outside standards.

DMSI is definitely drilling down into deep core issues. I know I'm on the right path because I'm starting to feel good about just being myself and living life vs feeling pressure to do things and prove my worth to everyone in my life.
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Choice
07-12-2017, 03:35 PM
Post: #27
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Ugh, apathy is making a comeback. I went skateboarding today which I haven't done in a while. I had some fun and it was relaxed, no pressure. But it got me thinking about life and I'm just sick of the grind. People telling me do this, do that, get this, go there, it just all gets tiresome. Thought about my music, what I wanted to do with that and possible career choices for making money. But I was just left with a feeling of screw all this, I don't care, life sucks. Fell into it hard and almost started dwelling on it. Then I realized it was just resistance again. To prevent me from moving forward and facing my fears I guess my subconscious is just making everything seem pointless. Not cool, but it's whatever. The only problem is it seriously effects my judgement and motivation is at an all time low. Especially for stuff I don't particularly have a passion for.
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07-13-2017, 08:18 AM
Post: #28
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Hitting rock bottom here. Pretty much cried myself to sleep last night. I'm 26 years old now and I just had the painful realization that I lost 10 years of my life to all this ***** depression and anxiety. It hurts knowing I'll never get those moments back.

I'm trying to be positive and it's hard. Before I wrote this post I had several others creating a narrative of being a depressed **** up that did nothing but bring me down further. I want to be better, to be happy, but part of me doesn't believe it's even possible. And it's hard because every day I have this feeling that I can't do anything right or I'm not good enough to do anything. I see that belief, I see that it's wrong and it's holding me back, but I can't get to it or change it. The only thing I can do is use willpower to bypass it, but I can't keep living my life like that for two reasons. One, my willpower runs out and when that happens it's even more dangerous because then the negative belief gets free reign to sabotage my life and two it's not permanent change so I'll always have to keep on top of it and to me that's a terrible solution.

I don't know what's worse being completely ignorant of your shortcomings or seeing them and having them manipulate you like a slave while you are unable to do anything.
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Inconceivablezen
07-13-2017, 08:41 AM
Post: #29
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
(07-13-2017 08:18 AM)mat422 Wrote:  Hitting rock bottom here. Pretty much cried myself to sleep last night. I'm 26 years old now and I just had the painful realization that I lost 10 years of my life to all this ***** depression and anxiety. It hurts knowing I'll never get those moments back.

I'm trying to be positive and it's hard. Before I wrote this post I had several others creating a narrative of being a depressed **** up that did nothing but bring me down further. I want to be better, to be happy, but part of me doesn't believe it's even possible. And it's hard because every day I have this feeling that I can't do anything right or I'm not good enough to do anything. I see that belief, I see that it's wrong and it's holding me back, but I can't get to it or change it. The only thing I can do is use willpower to bypass it, but I can't keep living my life like that for two reasons. One, my willpower runs out and when that happens it's even more dangerous because then the negative belief gets free reign to sabotage my life and two it's not permanent change so I'll always have to keep on top of it and to me that's a terrible solution.

I don't know what's worse being completely ignorant of your shortcomings or seeing them and having them manipulate you like a slave while you are unable to do anything.

This post cut through me like a knife. Turning 26 soon also and I feel like my whole life I've been too ***** up inside to move forward and accomplish or achieve anything.

Like snowfall, you cry a silent storm
Your tears paint rivers on this oaken wall. . .


-- Agalloch, The Mantle
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07-13-2017, 10:56 AM
Post: #30
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
(07-13-2017 08:41 AM)kalmah0804 Wrote:  
(07-13-2017 08:18 AM)mat422 Wrote:  Hitting rock bottom here. Pretty much cried myself to sleep last night. I'm 26 years old now and I just had the painful realization that I lost 10 years of my life to all this ***** depression and anxiety. It hurts knowing I'll never get those moments back.

I'm trying to be positive and it's hard. Before I wrote this post I had several others creating a narrative of being a depressed **** up that did nothing but bring me down further. I want to be better, to be happy, but part of me doesn't believe it's even possible. And it's hard because every day I have this feeling that I can't do anything right or I'm not good enough to do anything. I see that belief, I see that it's wrong and it's holding me back, but I can't get to it or change it. The only thing I can do is use willpower to bypass it, but I can't keep living my life like that for two reasons. One, my willpower runs out and when that happens it's even more dangerous because then the negative belief gets free reign to sabotage my life and two it's not permanent change so I'll always have to keep on top of it and to me that's a terrible solution.

I don't know what's worse being completely ignorant of your shortcomings or seeing them and having them manipulate you like a slave while you are unable to do anything.

This post cut through me like a knife. Turning 26 soon also and I feel like my whole life I've been too ***** up inside to move forward and accomplish or achieve anything.

Wish I knew or could show you how to get out of it. I read a lot about other people dealing with similar stuff. We're not alone. Unfortunately nobody really has an answer either. I think it might be an INFP thing. It's a combination of really feeling like I don't fit in with how most of the world works/what's valued and also underestimating my own abilities and constantly fearing the worst. Put those two together and you get fear preventing yourself from moving forward but also a complete lack of motivation for striving for the thing society seems to value the most above all else, money.

I'm hoping DMSI bulldozes through this. If not I might just have to drop it and seek professional help from a hypnotherapist. I feel like this is the resistance popping up, but I don't know. It's hard to tell. It feels like these negative beliefs are being closely guarded and prevented from being removed despite all my efforts.
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07-13-2017, 11:00 AM
Post: #31
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
(07-13-2017 10:56 AM)mat422 Wrote:  
(07-13-2017 08:41 AM)kalmah0804 Wrote:  
(07-13-2017 08:18 AM)mat422 Wrote:  Hitting rock bottom here. Pretty much cried myself to sleep last night. I'm 26 years old now and I just had the painful realization that I lost 10 years of my life to all this ***** depression and anxiety. It hurts knowing I'll never get those moments back.

I'm trying to be positive and it's hard. Before I wrote this post I had several others creating a narrative of being a depressed **** up that did nothing but bring me down further. I want to be better, to be happy, but part of me doesn't believe it's even possible. And it's hard because every day I have this feeling that I can't do anything right or I'm not good enough to do anything. I see that belief, I see that it's wrong and it's holding me back, but I can't get to it or change it. The only thing I can do is use willpower to bypass it, but I can't keep living my life like that for two reasons. One, my willpower runs out and when that happens it's even more dangerous because then the negative belief gets free reign to sabotage my life and two it's not permanent change so I'll always have to keep on top of it and to me that's a terrible solution.

I don't know what's worse being completely ignorant of your shortcomings or seeing them and having them manipulate you like a slave while you are unable to do anything.

This post cut through me like a knife. Turning 26 soon also and I feel like my whole life I've been too ***** up inside to move forward and accomplish or achieve anything.

Wish I knew or could show you how to get out of it. I read a lot about other people dealing with similar stuff. We're not alone. Unfortunately nobody really has an answer either. I think it might be an INFP thing. It's a combination of really feeling like I don't fit in with how most of the world works/what's valued and also underestimating my own abilities and constantly fearing the worst. Put those two together and you get fear preventing yourself from moving forward but also a complete lack of motivation for striving for the thing society seems to value the most above all else, money.

I'm hoping DMSI bulldozes through this. If not I might just have to drop it and seek professional help from a hypnotherapist. I feel like this is the resistance popping up, but I don't know. It's hard to tell. It feels like these negative beliefs are being closely guarded and prevented from being removed despite all my efforts.

I will say that I grew past a lot of these feelings (especially feeling fitting in with most of the world and such) during my time on DMSI-A, although much more on 3.01 than on 3.1. If I hadn't had a complete mental breakdown and become borderline psychotic, I think I would have bulldozed through and been in a much better place. Keep on going with 3.1. Eager to see if you attain any better results than I do.

Like snowfall, you cry a silent storm
Your tears paint rivers on this oaken wall. . .


-- Agalloch, The Mantle
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abundance
07-13-2017, 11:03 AM
Post: #32
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
(07-13-2017 11:00 AM)kalmah0804 Wrote:  
(07-13-2017 10:56 AM)mat422 Wrote:  
(07-13-2017 08:41 AM)kalmah0804 Wrote:  
(07-13-2017 08:18 AM)mat422 Wrote:  Hitting rock bottom here. Pretty much cried myself to sleep last night. I'm 26 years old now and I just had the painful realization that I lost 10 years of my life to all this ***** depression and anxiety. It hurts knowing I'll never get those moments back.

I'm trying to be positive and it's hard. Before I wrote this post I had several others creating a narrative of being a depressed **** up that did nothing but bring me down further. I want to be better, to be happy, but part of me doesn't believe it's even possible. And it's hard because every day I have this feeling that I can't do anything right or I'm not good enough to do anything. I see that belief, I see that it's wrong and it's holding me back, but I can't get to it or change it. The only thing I can do is use willpower to bypass it, but I can't keep living my life like that for two reasons. One, my willpower runs out and when that happens it's even more dangerous because then the negative belief gets free reign to sabotage my life and two it's not permanent change so I'll always have to keep on top of it and to me that's a terrible solution.

I don't know what's worse being completely ignorant of your shortcomings or seeing them and having them manipulate you like a slave while you are unable to do anything.

This post cut through me like a knife. Turning 26 soon also and I feel like my whole life I've been too ***** up inside to move forward and accomplish or achieve anything.

Wish I knew or could show you how to get out of it. I read a lot about other people dealing with similar stuff. We're not alone. Unfortunately nobody really has an answer either. I think it might be an INFP thing. It's a combination of really feeling like I don't fit in with how most of the world works/what's valued and also underestimating my own abilities and constantly fearing the worst. Put those two together and you get fear preventing yourself from moving forward but also a complete lack of motivation for striving for the thing society seems to value the most above all else, money.

I'm hoping DMSI bulldozes through this. If not I might just have to drop it and seek professional help from a hypnotherapist. I feel like this is the resistance popping up, but I don't know. It's hard to tell. It feels like these negative beliefs are being closely guarded and prevented from being removed despite all my efforts.

I will say that I grew past a lot of these feelings (especially feeling fitting in with most of the world and such) during my time on DMSI-A, although much more on 3.01 than on 3.1. If I hadn't had a complete mental breakdown and become borderline psychotic, I think I would have bulldozed through and been in a much better place. Keep on going with 3.1. Eager to see if you attain any better results than I do.

Yeah my subconscious must be scared to death right now at the inevitability of change on this sub. I read about some of the other posts on DMSI and I was like nah it wouldn't get that bad for me. But damn, the change is being pushed for and my mind really doesn't like it.
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07-13-2017, 11:07 AM
Post: #33
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
(07-13-2017 11:03 AM)mat422 Wrote:  
(07-13-2017 11:00 AM)kalmah0804 Wrote:  
(07-13-2017 10:56 AM)mat422 Wrote:  
(07-13-2017 08:41 AM)kalmah0804 Wrote:  
(07-13-2017 08:18 AM)mat422 Wrote:  Hitting rock bottom here. Pretty much cried myself to sleep last night. I'm 26 years old now and I just had the painful realization that I lost 10 years of my life to all this ***** depression and anxiety. It hurts knowing I'll never get those moments back.

I'm trying to be positive and it's hard. Before I wrote this post I had several others creating a narrative of being a depressed **** up that did nothing but bring me down further. I want to be better, to be happy, but part of me doesn't believe it's even possible. And it's hard because every day I have this feeling that I can't do anything right or I'm not good enough to do anything. I see that belief, I see that it's wrong and it's holding me back, but I can't get to it or change it. The only thing I can do is use willpower to bypass it, but I can't keep living my life like that for two reasons. One, my willpower runs out and when that happens it's even more dangerous because then the negative belief gets free reign to sabotage my life and two it's not permanent change so I'll always have to keep on top of it and to me that's a terrible solution.

I don't know what's worse being completely ignorant of your shortcomings or seeing them and having them manipulate you like a slave while you are unable to do anything.

This post cut through me like a knife. Turning 26 soon also and I feel like my whole life I've been too ***** up inside to move forward and accomplish or achieve anything.

Wish I knew or could show you how to get out of it. I read a lot about other people dealing with similar stuff. We're not alone. Unfortunately nobody really has an answer either. I think it might be an INFP thing. It's a combination of really feeling like I don't fit in with how most of the world works/what's valued and also underestimating my own abilities and constantly fearing the worst. Put those two together and you get fear preventing yourself from moving forward but also a complete lack of motivation for striving for the thing society seems to value the most above all else, money.

I'm hoping DMSI bulldozes through this. If not I might just have to drop it and seek professional help from a hypnotherapist. I feel like this is the resistance popping up, but I don't know. It's hard to tell. It feels like these negative beliefs are being closely guarded and prevented from being removed despite all my efforts.

I will say that I grew past a lot of these feelings (especially feeling fitting in with most of the world and such) during my time on DMSI-A, although much more on 3.01 than on 3.1. If I hadn't had a complete mental breakdown and become borderline psychotic, I think I would have bulldozed through and been in a much better place. Keep on going with 3.1. Eager to see if you attain any better results than I do.

Yeah my subconscious must be scared to death right now at the inevitability of change on this sub. I read about some of the other posts on DMSI and I was like nah it wouldn't get that bad for me. But damn, the change is being pushed for and my mind really doesn't like it.

DMSI-A between 3.01 and 3.1 together pushed me to a life where I (almost) had everything I had ever wanted at the time... and then came the panic attacks, the hallucinations, the nearly-schizophrenic violent and obsessive thoughts... it was not a good combo, and while I'm not glad that I *had* to switch, I'm glad I followed my instinct and did end up switching, even if I do hopefully one day get to come back to it. It's a great sub, and so long as you don't end up where I did, I think you should be able to make tremendous progress with it.

Like snowfall, you cry a silent storm
Your tears paint rivers on this oaken wall. . .


-- Agalloch, The Mantle
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07-13-2017, 05:25 PM
Post: #34
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
(07-13-2017 11:07 AM)kalmah0804 Wrote:  
(07-13-2017 11:03 AM)mat422 Wrote:  
(07-13-2017 11:00 AM)kalmah0804 Wrote:  
(07-13-2017 10:56 AM)mat422 Wrote:  
(07-13-2017 08:41 AM)kalmah0804 Wrote:  This post cut through me like a knife. Turning 26 soon also and I feel like my whole life I've been too ***** up inside to move forward and accomplish or achieve anything.

Wish I knew or could show you how to get out of it. I read a lot about other people dealing with similar stuff. We're not alone. Unfortunately nobody really has an answer either. I think it might be an INFP thing. It's a combination of really feeling like I don't fit in with how most of the world works/what's valued and also underestimating my own abilities and constantly fearing the worst. Put those two together and you get fear preventing yourself from moving forward but also a complete lack of motivation for striving for the thing society seems to value the most above all else, money.

I'm hoping DMSI bulldozes through this. If not I might just have to drop it and seek professional help from a hypnotherapist. I feel like this is the resistance popping up, but I don't know. It's hard to tell. It feels like these negative beliefs are being closely guarded and prevented from being removed despite all my efforts.

I will say that I grew past a lot of these feelings (especially feeling fitting in with most of the world and such) during my time on DMSI-A, although much more on 3.01 than on 3.1. If I hadn't had a complete mental breakdown and become borderline psychotic, I think I would have bulldozed through and been in a much better place. Keep on going with 3.1. Eager to see if you attain any better results than I do.

Yeah my subconscious must be scared to death right now at the inevitability of change on this sub. I read about some of the other posts on DMSI and I was like nah it wouldn't get that bad for me. But damn, the change is being pushed for and my mind really doesn't like it.

DMSI-A between 3.01 and 3.1 together pushed me to a life where I (almost) had everything I had ever wanted at the time... and then came the panic attacks, the hallucinations, the nearly-schizophrenic violent and obsessive thoughts... it was not a good combo, and while I'm not glad that I *had* to switch, I'm glad I followed my instinct and did end up switching, even if I do hopefully one day get to come back to it. It's a great sub, and so long as you don't end up where I did, I think you should be able to make tremendous progress with it.

Good to know. It has been doing a lot for me, but I guess this is a particular rough patch I'm hitting at the moment.



As a side note going back down to two loops. I thought I was ready, but I wasn't. Got this very strong paralyzed feeling. I had to take time out today for a good hour or two just to relax my body because I felt all this tension and stress. Too much to process and not enough time to do so, created a sort of backlog of emotions. Maybe I'll move back up to 4 loops again some other time, but for now I'm getting a strong yes from 2 loops and strong no from 4. Lesson learned, listen to your intuition. Don't be afraid of not making fast enough progress and bite off more than you can chew.
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07-13-2017, 10:42 PM
Post: #35
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
You are facing the real issues now. The real problems are being dealt with, and as hard as they've fought to stay in place, they're not liking what DMSI is doing to route them.

With DMSI 3.1+, change is inevitable - as long as you use it properly, and at the right settings for you.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
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07-14-2017, 07:45 AM
Post: #36
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Going back to two loops was the right call. Starting to wonder if the 4 loops was an attempt at self sabotage. I'll probably stick exclusively with 2 loops as I don't think I need anything more.

After my depressive episode I started thinking more about how I can make it in this world. I used to think that I had an aversion to so many jobs because it wasn't a passion. But now I see the true underlying reason is fear. Fear of mistakes, failure, fear of not measuring up to the smart label I've gotten all my life, fear of criticism, etc. The reasoning of it not being my passion was just a clever resistance tactic to make me believe something better was out there, but it got to a point where my focus narrowed so much and I cut off all possibilities. And after I did that it was like this paralyzing feeling of having nowhere to go, nothing to do, every decision felt wrong. So instead of deciding on something and going for it I just collapsed inward on myself and fell apart.

This is the point where I'm seeing what's been hidden from me. And I'm realizing that a lot of this was inaccessible to me or every time I stumbled upon it it was quickly masked with something else. Part of me is grateful for what DMSI is doing and this tech and another part of me is thinking where the hell I would be right now if not for the subs. Seriously, it's scary to think what my life would be without them.
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kalmah0804, RTBoss
07-15-2017, 01:41 PM
Post: #37
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
At work today and somehow the topic of discussion got onto how many times we've gotten laid in our life. So I just threw up a big fat 0 and my coworkers were shocked lol. They thought I pulled crazy amounts of girls. So yeah, where's the virgin club at? Cuz that's me. In all honesty I don't really care anymore. I used to be really afraid what girls would think if I was a virgin or other guys at 26 but it doesn't bother me now.

I think it's a combination of being afraid of getting intimate with women and also having relatively high standards. Like some guys will have sex with any type of girl just to get off. I was never like that. I probably had a few opportunities when I was younger but was either blind to it or didn't find myself attracted to her so I didn't go through with it.

But now my coworkers are all saying they need to find me a girl lol. So who knows, something might pop up in the near future. All I know is right now I'm still fighting with that resistance that's telling me I don't have time for women or that I have no interest in them. I know it's not true, it's just a clever tactic to hide behind the fear.
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Travis, kalmah0804, enoch, Inconceivablezen
07-15-2017, 06:10 PM
Post: #38
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
(07-15-2017 01:41 PM)mat422 Wrote:  At work today and somehow the topic of discussion got onto how many times we've gotten laid in our life. So I just threw up a big fat 0 and my coworkers were shocked lol. They thought I pulled crazy amounts of girls. So yeah, where's the virgin club at? Cuz that's me. In all honesty I don't really care anymore. I used to be really afraid what girls would think if I was a virgin or other guys at 26 but it doesn't bother me now.

I think it's a combination of being afraid of getting intimate with women and also having relatively high standards. Like some guys will have sex with any type of girl just to get off. I was never like that. I probably had a few opportunities when I was younger but was either blind to it or didn't find myself attracted to her so I didn't go through with it.

But now my coworkers are all saying they need to find me a girl lol. So who knows, something might pop up in the near future. All I know is right now I'm still fighting with that resistance that's telling me I don't have time for women or that I have no interest in them. I know it's not true, it's just a clever tactic to hide behind the fear.

I only lost my virginity just a few short months ago. Pussy is extremely overrated. There are much more worthwhile pursuits you could be going after that could probably coincidentally get you laid. I literally felt zero difference when I had sex. Actually, I probably felt worse--like I had wasted so much energy in my life upset or feeling hopeless over the fact that I hadn't had sex.

I realize this is kind of just gonna go in one ear and out the other, but once you get laid you'll quickly realize what a big timesink it can be (unless, of course, it's with a really special girl).

Like snowfall, you cry a silent storm
Your tears paint rivers on this oaken wall. . .


-- Agalloch, The Mantle
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enoch, Inconceivablezen
07-16-2017, 04:19 AM
Post: #39
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
(07-15-2017 06:10 PM)kalmah0804 Wrote:  
(07-15-2017 01:41 PM)mat422 Wrote:  At work today and somehow the topic of discussion got onto how many times we've gotten laid in our life. So I just threw up a big fat 0 and my coworkers were shocked lol. They thought I pulled crazy amounts of girls. So yeah, where's the virgin club at? Cuz that's me. In all honesty I don't really care anymore. I used to be really afraid what girls would think if I was a virgin or other guys at 26 but it doesn't bother me now.

I think it's a combination of being afraid of getting intimate with women and also having relatively high standards. Like some guys will have sex with any type of girl just to get off. I was never like that. I probably had a few opportunities when I was younger but was either blind to it or didn't find myself attracted to her so I didn't go through with it.

But now my coworkers are all saying they need to find me a girl lol. So who knows, something might pop up in the near future. All I know is right now I'm still fighting with that resistance that's telling me I don't have time for women or that I have no interest in them. I know it's not true, it's just a clever tactic to hide behind the fear.

I only lost my virginity just a few short months ago. Pussy is extremely overrated. There are much more worthwhile pursuits you could be going after that could probably coincidentally get you laid. I literally felt zero difference when I had sex. Actually, I probably felt worse--like I had wasted so much energy in my life upset or feeling hopeless over the fact that I hadn't had sex.

I realize this is kind of just gonna go in one ear and out the other, but once you get laid you'll quickly realize what a big timesink it can be (unless, of course, it's with a really special girl).

To be honest it already seems like a huge timesink. I'm so wrapped up in my music anyway. I guess that's part of why I ran DMSI, it was a weak point of mine and I just wanted to strengthen it a bit. I really just want the choice of taking the opportunities or not. Right now it kind of feels like I'm avoiding it, so even if there are opportunities I don't go for it. Also I want to break this idea that sex needs some kind of deep emotional connection. I think that's a huge problem for me. I'm sure sex can be an emotional experience, but it doesn't have to be strictly tied to that. People often say casual sex is bad or damaging, but I think it's more like the guilt and shame surrounding it is damaging rather than the act itself.
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SargeMaximus
07-16-2017, 09:25 AM
Post: #40
RE: In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A
Realistically, not all pussy is equal. There's pussy out there that is completely unimpressive and there's "Golden Pussy" and everything in between. You can't judge all of it on one woman's offering. It matters how she is compatible with you, to what degree and why. It matters how you are connected and bonded, and to what degree. It matters why you are having sex, and how and where. It matters what her emotional state is and why she's having sex with you. It matters how aroused she is and how in love with you she is. It matters if she wants to get pregnant or just have sex for pleasure or if she's just trying to have fun or find love or get off or...

There are a LOT of variables. Not even a single given woman feels the same from session to session. If you don't have the right level of compatibility, trust, intimacy, relaxation, connection, etc. it's not going to be as good as it could have been.

You find yourself the Golden Pussy, though... and you'll find out why millions of generations have been looking for it. And you will probably spend the rest of your life trying to get more.

In my experience, the best sex happens when I have either a woman who triggers and is equally triggered by my animal reproductive instincts, or I am with a woman who understands and values sex the same way I do.

I've had lovers who were so incompatible that I couldn't even get off, and potential lovers I didn't even get hard for, and I have had lovers so compatible and so skilled that I had orgasms that literally ejected me from my body as a result.

Virgins and those new to this experience won't understand that. You need either experience or someone with experience explaining it. So don't try to find excuses to hide from it... just because one guy didn't have a great experience. It's out there.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
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